Is submission a gift?

[subtledecadence]

It is a need, yes, but are you willing to submit to just anyone? Generally, when you submit, your submission (your need) is given (a gift) to someone special.

The need to dominate works much the same way, as others have pointed out.

That's how I see it anyways.

I have to say that I completely agree w/ Monster. It is a need, and also a gift. I need to submit, and have felt this way for as long as I can remember. But, I have only done so in two relationships, as it is a gift I am only willing to give to One who is strong enough to accept it, and who has proven that He can be trusted w/ it. I do however expect something in return. His Dominance. Not that He be grateful for my submission to Him, but that He uses this gift I have given Him for His pleasure, in whichever way He chooses. That itself fulfills my need.

subtle

 

[ownedsubgal]

never understood the "submission is a gift" thing, but i suppose for some that is exactly what it is. for me submission is not a gift, nor is it a need. it's a given. do i need to be 66 inches tall? no, i just am. same with my submission. tis just the way i was wired, it's not a desire a need or something i choose to be or do...it just is.

 

[landcruisergal]

Not a gift as such,theres no chance of a refund.He asked for it. .My submission is an offering of myself. I offer not only my body but my trust, my needs, my weaknesses, my strengths, my imagination, my attitude. He can pick and choose what he wants to play with.

 

[catalina_francisco]

For me it is a gift of sorts as well as a right given. As with when I give any gift, I try to do so without expecting anything is return though admittedly it is nice to have that return of sorts...and also like a gift, it is not something I have given to anyone other than Master. It is what I percieved as my need before we discovered each other, a submission that would be given carefully and exclusively, and with the exception of death occurring, would never see me giving to another.

Catalina

 

[MastrJ]

I view submission as a gift the submissive gives to me. I feel greatly honored that my current submissive trusts me that much. She may have a need to be dominated, but it is her choice to whom she submits. That is a wonderful and beautiful gift.

 

[cutedemon]

I would say that it is more of a gift than a need. A want may be a better term than need. Because I want to give Him part of myself that no one else sees or gets to touch. I want to make Him happy and so I give the gift of my body and soul to him to use as he sees fit. I wouldn't let anyone else touch this side of me.

On the flip side, it is a gift for that He gives to me that I feel so comfortable with Him that I can submit to Him.

 

[Netzach]

It's how he is, or it's one of his characteristics.

I happen to feel very fortunate that the shape, type and degree of M's submission fits nicely with the shape type and degree of my Dominance. I feel very touched to be trusted enough to do the things we do together, but I don't see that as "a gift" either. I see that as one of life's high points.

 

[FungiUg]

is submission a gift or a need?

Both. It is a gift that the submissive makes of him/herself to his/her dominant. The act of submitting is a gift, and one that is continually given.

On the other hand, it is a need within the submissive that forces him or her to the point of making that gift, and the realisation of that need that continually brings them back to that point.

Just both sides of the same coin, really.

 

[Justina123]

I've never been able to say it's a gift. As ownedsubgal said above, it's just me. And I enjoy s&m play soooo much, I sometimes feel almost guilty afterwards 'cause I'm thinking how wonderful it was and hoping the Dominant got as much out of it as I did. Since I don't have a sadistic bone in my body, it's hard for me to understand when I come down out of subspace how the Dominant could have gotten even half as much out of it as I did...

 

[SierraMoon]

Not a gift as such. My submission is an offering of myself. I offer not only my body but my trust, my needs, my weaknesses, my strengths, my imagination, my attitude. He can pick and choose what he wants to play with.

i think this closely mirrors how i perceive my submission to Him. i offer everything to Him, not as a gift, but as a right for Him to control what He decides to.

 

[redelicious]

Re: Re: Is submission a gift?

Both. It is a gift that the submissive makes of him/herself to his/her dominant. The act of submitting is a gift, and one that is continually given.

On the other hand, it is a need within the submissive that forces him or her to the point of making that gift, and the realisation of that need that continually brings them back to that point.

Just both sides of the same coin, really.

This is kind of how I am starting to see it. Submission is something I need/do/am, etc. It's not just the act of submitting, but the choice of who to submit to that makes it a gift.

 

[sabersedge]

Submission

As far as receiving it goes it is a gift. It may be a need or the way the sub is just like it is that I am a Dom.

It is the way I am. Some may be more or less depending on what they want to Dominate in. Same as subs. Some submit to many aspects of life where some will only submit some things.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Fascinating discussion....feel free to add to it...

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

I view submission as a gift the submissive gives to me. I feel greatly honored that my current submissive trusts me that much. She may have a need to be dominated, but it is her choice to whom she submits. That is a wonderful and beautiful gift.

I see both sides of it as a gift the sub and dom/me give to each other. Just because I'm a switch who tends toward being a domme doesn't mean I'm domme for any sub who comes along. Likewise, I expect my sub to submit to me, not just submit to a domme. Does that make sense?

I guess this is why I don't like groups, online and off, where all the subs call all the dom/mes "sir" and "ma'am" and the dom/mes seem to think it's ok to order all the subs around. I much prefer to treat other dom/mes and subs the same as anyone else. Regardless of how submissive a man or woman is, if they're not my sub I don't feel I have the right to treat them as such.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I see both sides of it as a gift the sub and dom/me give to each other. Just because I'm a switch who tends toward being a domme doesn't mean I'm domme for any sub who comes along. Likewise, I expect my sub to submit to me, not just submit to a domme. Does that make sense?

I guess this is why I don't like groups, online and off, where all the subs call all the dom/mes "sir" and "ma'am" and the dom/mes seem to think it's ok to order all the subs around. I much prefer to treat other dom/mes and subs the same as anyone else. Regardless of how submissive a man or woman is, if they're not my sub I don't feel I have the right to treat them as such.

Makes perfect sense to me. I am not one to bestow honorifics on anyone other then the one who owns me. To do otherwise would make me feel I was playing a game, or even worse patronising the Dominant in question, and minimising the power of the position and rightful place for my own Dominant to hold. Those words IMHO are just as special and sacred as when you say 'I love you' to someone who holds that special place no-one else can fill, not a title to throw around on anyone who demands you bestow them with it, or feels it their right to assume.

Catalina

 

[FreeGal]

I see both sides of it as a gift the sub and dom/me give to each other. Just because I'm a switch who tends toward being a domme doesn't mean I'm domme for any sub who comes along. Likewise, I expect my sub to submit to me, not just submit to a domme. Does that make sense?

I guess this is why I don't like groups, online and off, where all the subs call all the dom/mes "sir" and "ma'am" and the dom/mes seem to think it's ok to order all the subs around. I much prefer to treat other dom/mes and subs the same as anyone else. Regardless of how submissive a man or woman is, if they're not my sub I don't feel I have the right to treat them as such.

I just want to echo Catalina here and say it also makes perfect sense to me.

I have felt the strong NEED in me for years to submit to someone, but I could never submit to just anyone. I have only ever submitted to one person, and to him I give him the gift of my complete submission.

However, I don't see it as a gift that he should acknowledge (although he does), because in my eyes the gift he has given to me is even greater: he dominates me and sets me free - I don't believe anyone else could do that, no so completely anyway.

I could never address another dom/me as "Sir" or "Ma'am", because they are not who I submit to. However, I would, if MY Dom told me to.

FreeGal