is there a guide line

[Shadowsdream]

My pleasure cellis

I ask questions and communicate constantly in My relationships and trainings so it is possible I could talk your ear off on this thread.

I am trying not to do the over load here as sometimes enough is enough but if you ever have anything specific that I do not touch please feel comfortable to bring it up and I will take it where I can.

The tip of the iceberg has not yet been reached ~~~grin~~~but always remember..opinions are like assholes..everyone has them.

Take what is of value and shelve the rest.

 

[MotorCitySam]

My pleasure cellis

I ask questions and communicate constantly in My relationships and trainings so it is possible I could talk your ear off on this thread.

I am trying not to do the over load here as sometimes enough is enough but if you ever have anything specific that I do not touch please feel comfortable to bring it up and I will take it where I can.

The tip of the iceberg has not yet been reached ~~~grin~~~but always remember..opinions are like assholes..everyone has them.

Take what is of value and shelve the rest.

Your posts have been very insightful and helpful, Shadowsdream. Thank you very much.

 

[Kirabeth]

thank you so very much shadow your words and insights have been a big help to both myslef and hubby, (he is even considering signing upi for the board here himself now)

I have a few questions.

1. what if the subs limits differ form yours or at sometime some that is alimit comes up that you did not know about that swasn't discussed what are the Dom and the sub's responisibity in a situation like that (am I making since) and how do you know you what your limits ar eif they have neve rbeen tested.

2. How do you set up rules? what are some rules you use? ( suck as asking permission to leave a room or go to the bathroom etc)

3. wht types of punishment do you use or incorirate into yours and you subs llife. (such as humiliation, standing in a corner, spankings etc)

4. what about rewards do you use those in anyway?

thank you kira

 

[Shadowsdream]

(thank you so very much shadow your words and insights have been a big help to both myslef and hubby, (he is even considering signing upi for the board here himself now) )

I am enjoying giving you My insight and hope your hubby will join Lit and enjoy it as much as I do. The people here are wonderful and helpful in ways I have not seen in other discussion groups that I have seen.


(1. what if the subs limits differ form yours or at sometime some that is alimit comes up that you did not know about that swasn't discussed what are the Dom and the sub's responisibity in a situation like that (am I making since) and how do you know you what your limits ar eif they have neve rbeen tested. )

If the subs limits differ from Mine in signifícent ways..such as...I consider scat to be a hard limit for Me...if it was not a hard limit for the sub...I will question why...the answer will likely be a turn off for Me and set my mind to thinking *incompatible*
If the sub has a hard limit of no nipple clamps..which I enjoy using...no nipple clamps will be the result if I see *compatible*
Limits are looked at from many points of view..are they limits that may one day evaporate or not..for Me scat is a limit that will never evaporate. Not a judgement just a preference.

Unexpected limits are bound to come up in a relationship that is open and honest. They should be respected no matter when they come up...the responsibility is to be honest and do not try to endure the unendurable...also to be understanding and accepting IF the new limits make sense and are not just a way to get out of a situation they just don't prefer.

I think some limits never should be tested..such as incest..bestiality..children...HARD limits
It is impossible to know your limits until they have been tested...soft limits...the Dom/me will watch carefully as they take the sub through a scene, they will learn how to evaluate the breathing...small sounds..body movements..until they feel it is almost time to stop..then maybe one more lick of the whip..a test of the limit.

(2. How do you set up rules? what are some rules you use? ( suck as asking permission to leave a room or go to the bathroom etc) )

Rules are set by communication...during the questioning phase of the introduction the Dominant will discover what NEEDS the submissive has..what they really require to feel safe, content and valued. Then they will evaluate Their own needs and create specific rules that benefit them both.

In My home My permission must be asked just to use the bathroom, have a drink, a sandwhich, a cigarette, to go to bed or stay up late. Wear clothing when he is cold ( naked is the sub motto in My home whether it is a trainee or an owned sub or slave.
If you wish I could send you the url to My RULES site which gets a little more indepth.

(3. wht types of punishment do you use or incorirate into yours and you subs llife. (such as humiliation, standing in a corner, spankings etc) )

Punishments suit the crime or misdemeanour
...deliberate or repeat disobedience or lazyness will earn a solid cropping or caning. A lesser infraction will find a brisk flogging or paddling. My spankings are extremely painful when I am not in a good mood so they can be used for any level of punishment. I interrogate which is humiliating. I may chain My slave to his desk and make him work longer than he had hoped to. I may keep him under My desk while I chat and work and ignore him.

(4. what about rewards do you use those in anyway? )

A reward can be as simple as uttering the words * good boy* * good girl* with a smile of pride and sincerety. The touch of My hand on the back of the neck. But I transgress!
Yes I use rewards as much as I use punishments for rewards are a confirmation of progress.
Allowing extra free time to just putter around or a day without asking permission to smoke.
I may buy him a gift..as simple as a single red rose or a new computer program.
I may give him a free night out with his friends or wash the dishes after dinner. I may make him his favourite cookies. I may allow him to cum..Well this is not easy to earn ~~~grin~~

 

[Shadowsdream]

MotorCitySam


I have watched your posts since You arrived here in Lit. The deep caring and committment You show to learning and supporting is commendable. I look forward to watching You grow and share.

 

[Kirabeth]

Thank you shadow.

Shadow....yes could you please send me the url to your rules site .


Thank you so very much kira

 

[Shadowsdream]

kira


here is the url..I hope it will be helpful in some way

http://www.themistress.addr.com/mistr/RULES

 

[Shadowsdream]

Arghhhh wrong overdone url..mistr is not in this string...

http://www.themistress.addr.com/RULES/

 

[MotorCitySam]

MotorCitySam


I have watched your posts since You arrived here in Lit. The deep caring and committment You show to learning and supporting is commendable. I look forward to watching You grow and share.

Thank you very much, Shadowsdream. I love nothing more than learning, and there are good teachers here, yourself high among them.

 

[CarolineOh]

Shadowsdream, I have been pouring over your website. It is quite impressive, and all your pictures are very lovely.

 

[Shadowsdream]

MotorCitySam

You may not have realized it yet but You are also a teacher here in Lit.

You are teaching others that learning is joyful and necessary as You show the love and passion You have for CarolineOh and the steps You are taking to enjoy this new world. Your warm welcomes to all as you encourage them to move forward is wonderful to observe.

We who can learn and share have the most to offer and recieve.

 

[Shadowsdream]

CarolineOh

I am pleased that you are enjoying My site. It was put up to show the world what I consider to be the every day Domme rather than the Brutal Porno Queen with a whip.

A look at the 24/7 world that I live in.

The first time I put My picture on My site it was to show how OLD I was so that no one would approach Me thinking they would be finding a 25 year old Goddess. I am fortunate enough to be in a position that I do not have to hide My face.

Thank you for your comments.

 

[MotorCitySam]

MotorCitySam

You may not have realized it yet but You are also a teacher here in Lit.

You are teaching others that learning is joyful and necessary as You show the love and passion You have for CarolineOh and the steps You are taking to enjoy this new world. Your warm welcomes to all as you encourage them to move forward is wonderful to observe.

We who can learn and share have the most to offer and recieve.

To give someone the title Teacher is to me, the greatest honor one can bestow.
In humbleness, I thank you.

 

[Kirabeth]

beautiful website Shadow, Thank you again fo rall you have done for me.

your friend kira