Is there a line where kinky turns into sick?

[Stella_Omega]

Laws aside, whatever all parties involved agree to is okay. Obviously no one has learned yet, but PEOPLE CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT AS LONG AS THEY KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT. ..ANYTHING. Don't beg or force or threaten, just do it. And keep your mouth(s) shut.

I think we are about talking our reactions to activities we DO know about. Not about how to get away with activities and keep people from knowing about them. That's why you think "nobody has learned yet."

 

[Primalex]

people first say that they have no limits

I always take this as a challenge...

 

[IrisAlthea]

I always take this as a challenge...

Like an invitation to go get the ww2-gasmasks and an anthill?

 

[ownedsubgal]

Okay, my experiences aside, do you have a line where you would .. unassociate yourself with someone? Do you draw it next to the law...or your personal opinion? Or do you believe there should be no line at all?

of course there should be a line. but as to precisely where that line should be drawn...??? there are simply too many variables.

over the course of my life, i have had friends who would (and perhaps have) commit rape, a friend who was addicted to crack cocaine, a friend who sold such items, a friend who is sexually and romantically attracted to barely pubescent children, and friends who have taken the life of another human being without the excuse of self-defense. i may not agree with these behaviors, in some cases may be ethically appalled by them, but i do not believe that it is a great enough foundation with which to assess someone's character, nor utterly define them as a person.

but could i associate with someone who scammed the elderly out of their pension and savings? or someone who thought it was funny to kick a cat? or someone who tosses their litter out of their car window? absolutely not.

it's really about your own personal moral compass, and how closely a particular behavior can be tied in with someone's personality or character.

 

[Etoile]

Laws aside, whatever all parties involved agree to is okay. Obviously no one has learned yet, but PEOPLE CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT AS LONG AS THEY KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT. ..ANYTHING. Don't beg or force or threaten, just do it. And keep your mouth(s) shut.

As long as it is informed consent, sure. But IMO children and animals cannot give informed consent. Some disabilities may also prevent someone from giving informed consent. But what is a "child" - where is that line drawn? 10, 11, 12, 13? 15? 16? 18? 20? (Morally, not legally, duh.) And what level of disability precludes someone from giving informed consent? High-functioning people with Down Syndrome have had successful relationships. Perhaps someone with autism, though, might not be able to give informed consent. So while "kids, animals, and some disabilities" are kind of a line for me, animals are the only one where I actually know where the line IS.

 

[Netzach]

As long as it is informed consent, sure. But IMO children and animals cannot give informed consent. Some disabilities may also prevent someone from giving informed consent. But what is a "child" - where is that line drawn? 10, 11, 12, 13? 15? 16? 18? 20? (Morally, not legally, duh.) And what level of disability precludes someone from giving informed consent? High-functioning people with Down Syndrome have had successful relationships. Perhaps someone with autism, though, might not be able to give informed consent. So while "kids, animals, and some disabilities" are kind of a line for me, animals are the only one where I actually know where the line IS.

This. Add into the mix that most people have a heart attack if 16 year olds or mentally disabled people even express sexual curiosity or interest, and you have a fucked up legal climate in the making.

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

In general, my inclination is to abide by the maxim of "sane, safe, and consensual". Of course, the definition of "sane" can vary widely.

One issue is, if a person is deeply in subspace, is it possible for his/her judgement to be impaired to the point that he/she may allow serious injury to themselves, whereas under other circumstances he/she would never conceive of having that done to them?

 

[Stella_Omega]

of course there should be a line. but as to precisely where that line should be drawn...??? there are simply too many variables.

over the course of my life, i have had friends who would (and perhaps have) commit rape, a friend who was addicted to crack cocaine, a friend who sold such items, a friend who is sexually and romantically attracted to barely pubescent children, and friends who have taken the life of another human being without the excuse of self-defense. i may not agree with these behaviors, in some cases may be ethically appalled by them, but i do not believe that it is a great enough foundation with which to assess someone's character, nor utterly define them as a person.

but could i associate with someone who scammed the elderly out of their pension and savings? or someone who thought it was funny to kick a cat? or someone who tosses their litter out of their car window? absolutely not.

it's really about your own personal moral compass, and how closely a particular behavior can be tied in with someone's personality or character.

I cannot think of a better illustration of the concept of "personal moral compass" than this post, osg.

 

[Primalex]

over the course of my life, i have had friends who would (and perhaps have) commit rape, a friend who was addicted to crack cocaine, a friend who sold such items, a friend who is sexually and romantically attracted to barely pubescent children, and friends who have taken the life of another human being without the excuse of self-defense. i may not agree with these behaviors, in some cases may be ethically appalled by them, but i do not believe that it is a great enough foundation with which to assess someone's character, nor utterly define them as a person.

but could i associate with someone who scammed the elderly out of their pension and savings? or someone who thought it was funny to kick a cat? or someone who tosses their litter out of their car window? absolutely not.

So it's okay to hang around with people who destroy the life of other people, but not okay to hang around with people who destroy the checking account of other people - for you?


Anyway - this is going to be a bit too much in the "good" versus "evil" direction. I'm more interested in the "sick" versus "sane". When does your kink stop being sane - not, when does it become "evil". Are there kinks for you that you would describe as something no mentally stable person would do - are there kinks where you would suggest compulsory treatment? Are there kinks where you would disassociate yourself from the person because you would be worried about how it affects your mental state?

 

[IrisAlthea]

So it's okay to hang around with people who destroy the life of other people, but not okay to hang around with people who destroy the checking account of other people - for you?


Anyway - this is going to be a bit too much in the "good" versus "evil" direction. I'm more interested in the "sick" versus "sane". When does your kink stop being sane - not, when does it become "evil". Are there kinks for you that you would describe as something no mentally stable person would do - are there kinks where you would suggest compulsory treatment? Are there kinks where you would disassociate yourself from the person because you would be worried about how it affects your mental state?

Yes, there are things I think are beyond sane, that I think might require compulsory treatment. Operative words being "I think".
Like you pointed out before, it's a slippery slope. There are people out there who think homosexuality should be treated with exorcism.

I'm not sure if I understand what you mean by affecting your mental state. Do you mean like pulling you in?

 

[Primalex]

I'm not sure if I understand what you mean by affecting your mental state. Do you mean like pulling you in?

Depends how you define being pulled in. Does a rape victim get pulled in by your definition?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I would define "affected" as being sick and sorry you ever encountered such a thing.

Yes. There are kinks I would disassociate myself from, and decide that person needed compulsory help.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Depends how you define being pulled in. Does a rape victim get pulled in by your definition?

No, I was thinking more like being pulled into someone else's psychodrama.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I would define "affected" as being sick and sorry you ever encountered such a thing.

Yes. There are kinks I would disassociate myself from, and decide that person needed compulsory help.

Going with that definition: I've never actually met a person with that kind of kink, but there are things out there that make me feel like that.
Yes, I would disassociate myself.

 

[xssve]

To me a lot of it is consent, one persons stupid shit on another Saturday night can break another persons mind.

To consent implies you're willing to deal with the feelings involved, good bad or indifferent.

 

[knot_sweet]

I'm finding this entire thread entirely intriguing, and I'm with Bunny on the curiosity about what sparked the topic. Like her, I willngly forgo pressing for an answer in deference to the OP's desire to ctl/alt/del that particular memory.

There are lots of things I personally think push the edges of sanity. Not just in kink but in every day life. The people who made the Jackass movies, people who do ridiculous things that endanger their health for TV gameshows, people who willingly play russian roulette with their bodies by having unprotected sex with people who are most likely to have incurable STD's...

But there are a whole bunch of people who think I'm crazy for some of my kinks. Those people genuinely feel I need psychological help.

I guess the line for me is consent with full ethical and intellectual understanding between all involved parties. The only exception being beastiality. If an animal is not forced or trained to participate, that counts as consent ( I still think it's icky, but I try to be tolerant where possible) as animals have a far different social structure to ours.

What people willingly do with each other is truly not my call to judge. That said, I have my own personal lines, and yes, would walk away from a partner who's moral compasss swung too far from my own. Indeed I have already done so in the past.

 

[xssve]

Yeah, I probably wouldn't "distance myself" from bug chasers, but I would choose not to participate, thank you.

 

[hunnyblonde]

Haha.... And this is why I don't share my kinks on Lit. Yikes. No one would ever come out to play again. *sigh* Oh well...

I'll admit that I do have lines. But it's only fair to also divulge that my fantasy-life crosses them daily.

 

[troubledone]

Haha.... And this is why I don't share my kinks on Lit. Yikes. No one would ever come out to play again. *sigh* Oh well...

I'll admit that I do have lines. But it's only fair to also divulge that my fantasy-life crosses them daily.

True kinks shared are kinks diluted

 

[Stella_Omega]

Haha.... And this is why I don't share my kinks on Lit. Yikes. No one would ever come out to play again. *sigh* Oh well...

I'll admit that I do have lines. But it's only fair to also divulge that my fantasy-life crosses them daily.

I'm trying to decide between three different quips playing on "daily" and "nightly" here.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Haha.... And this is why I don't share my kinks on Lit. Yikes. No one would ever come out to play again. *sigh* Oh well...

I'll admit that I do have lines. But it's only fair to also divulge that my fantasy-life crosses them daily.

I'm trying to decide between three different quips playing on "daily" and "nightly" here.

 

[iwantyoufuckme]

when i was younger i used to simply say i dont have many limits.
i just would try anything atleast twice,
after living with very few limits ive learned what my hard limits are.
its a good way to learn what you would never do again or even think of doing

 

[yellowbunny]

Very well put, thank you! I can't claim I have any dignity when he is telling me what a blankity blank I am, while slapping my pussy as I desperately try to force my tongue up his butt hole. I don't want to and we are both fulfilling each others needs and while he is my Dom and I obey him, I am not inferior to him.

I totally agree on this.. at the end of this, I can act very submissive and do what he wants.. but at the end of the day, its because both of us enjoy it and are fulfilling each others needs.. so the moment it becomes one-sided, then there goes the problem..and it can then be classified as 'sick' by the other..

communication is important.. and it what makes it really work and make it more enjoyable.. I know the limits of my boyfriend..and he knows exactly what i want and what is not negotiable for me..

if i want to try and push it some more.. i simply ask him..

 

[SirLeo]

Haha.... And this is why I don't share my kinks on Lit. Yikes. No one would ever come out to play again. *sigh* Oh well...

I'll admit that I do have lines. But it's only fair to also divulge that my fantasy-life crosses them daily.

Ah little lass, rest assured I would most certainly come out to play!