Jenny’s house of fun.

Dear diary,

It’s been a weird day. Actually the last couple of days have been strange. Not sure how to describe it. It feels kinda like the electricity in the air before a thunderstorm. Your body is alert and off, but you don’t know why. And my brain is throwing everything at me. And don’t worry I haven’t stopped taking my meds. But I called my therapist today and she saw me even though it’s a Saturday, she truly is the greatest. We talked for an hour and it helped a little.
She thinks a depression is coming and my body is warning me. So I need to be active, be outside, not isolate, eat properly and get good sleep. Than maybe I can stop it from coming.
I’m so fucking scared, the last one was so deep and it was horrible. And I don’t wanna do this to John and Julia again. So I will do everything she said. I will take long walks every day. Go to bed at a good time and sleep the whole night. I won’t even drink alcohol for awhile.
Anyway, didn’t mean to be all negative and stuff. I will fight this. I need to be a present mom. It’s all I want.
Hoping for you and your family. Dark times have an end.
 
Dear diary,

It’s been a weird day. Actually the last couple of days have been strange. Not sure how to describe it. It feels kinda like the electricity in the air before a thunderstorm. Your body is alert and off, but you don’t know why. And my brain is throwing everything at me. And don’t worry I haven’t stopped taking my meds. But I called my therapist today and she saw me even though it’s a Saturday, she truly is the greatest. We talked for an hour and it helped a little.
She thinks a depression is coming and my body is warning me. So I need to be active, be outside, not isolate, eat properly and get good sleep. Than maybe I can stop it from coming.
I’m so fucking scared, the last one was so deep and it was horrible. And I don’t wanna do this to John and Julia again. So I will do everything she said. I will take long walks every day. Go to bed at a good time and sleep the whole night. I won’t even drink alcohol for awhile.
Anyway, didn’t mean to be all negative and stuff. I will fight this. I need to be a present mom. It’s all I want.
We are all here for you.

Anything you need, hun. 🫂🫂🫂
 
One of the first grown-up movies I saw was Cloud Atlas, I was 12 or 13 (I think) and it blew me away.
...the book was even better, I had never read anything like that. It really messed with my brain that you could write a book that way.
Dear god, aging sucks! I read it just a few years ago, and already I've forgotten it. Or blurred it with 6 other unrelated books...
 
She thinks a depression is coming and my body is warning me. So I need to be active, be outside, not isolate, eat properly and get good sleep. Than maybe I can stop it from coming.
I’m so fucking scared, the last one was so deep and it was horrible.
I know you don't know me, but reach out to me if you need someone outside your circle to talk to. I'm over 70 now, but I spent 50 of those years dealing with depression. You have the keys, there: especially, I would emphasize the being active and outside, and sleep. Also, write, even if you have to write gibberish— just get pen to paper and write words. Don't edit.
I don’t wanna do this to John and Julia again.
Be with them. Just be. However you feel, just be present.

There. A bunch of advice you been never asked for. 🤷‍♂️ I'm here, if you want an ear.
 
I know you don't know me, but reach out to me if you need someone outside your circle to talk to. I'm over 70 now, but I spent 50 of those years dealing with depression. You have the keys, there: especially, I would emphasize the being active and outside, and sleep. Also, write, even if you have to write gibberish— just get pen to paper and write words. Don't edit.

Be with them. Just be. However you feel, just be present.

There. A bunch of advice you been never asked for. 🤷‍♂️ I'm here, if you want an ear.
Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️
It means a lot.
 
Sunday again.
Slept later today, ate breakfast and took a long walk. It was a very nice day, just cold enough. Walked around my neighborhood, stopped for a cup of tea and a sandwich.
Got home and played with Julia.
Gave John a blowjob and smoked some weed. Gonna start a fire now and read a bit. Then Julia needs to take a bath.

Feeling better today, but still that weird feeling in my body. Restless and unfocused.
Can’t wait to see my therapist tomorrow.
 
Sunday again.
Slept later today, ate breakfast and took a long walk. It was a very nice day, just cold enough. Walked around my neighborhood, stopped for a cup of tea and a sandwich.
Got home and played with Julia.
Gave John a blowjob and smoked some weed. Gonna start a fire now and read a bit. Then Julia needs to take a bath.

Feeling better today, but still that weird feeling in my body. Restless and unfocused.
Can’t wait to see my therapist tomorrow.
I’m very happy to hear that you had a good day there. ❤️
 
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