Just a thought on Doms

[UCE]

Unfuckingbelievable.......

My first question is: why would anyone want to TRY to muddle through this "subs" essays? I simply do not have time to nor the inclination to ATTEMPT to read her posts.

Second question is: why does anyone care what she says?

So, UCE.... please flame me too, if that is all you have better to do, but be assured that I will not flame back or engage in any way.

As one sub to another, you really are beneath me.

WTF???? I don't even know you. I haven't addressed any messages to you. Do you always flame strangers out of the blue? Calm yourself dearie, don't wet your panties. You've made up your mind about someone you don't even know and started to scream at her madly. That tells me all I need to know about you.

Plonk.

 

[UCE]

rose, I know where you are coming from, but responding to her is what she wants. Just remember, more than just you see the truth.

If responding to me is just what I want then why, praytell have I put so many people on ignore as soon as they flamed me? JUST SO I can read their responses to me? COME ON, GD, use your brain, if you have one!

I hate these horrid people and their awful witchhunt of me. Unda the bad and evil! Just because I speak my mind. If all of you, inculding you GD, just shut the fuck UP and went and picked on somebody else, I'd be just fine and happy.

And by the way *plonk*. Since you wish to hurt my feelings by talking about me in third person, I'll simply ignore everything you have to say from now on.

You and that Rose chick who started screaming to me wildly and hysteriacally are BOTH on ignore. If you decide to ever act like adults again and want me to see your posts, contact one of my friends and tell them. You sure as hell aren't going to get through to me any other way.

Have a horrible prejudiced, hateful and hating life...just like you're doing right now.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Hey UCE,

Can you explain the whole deal behind all the 'plonks'?

Just wondering.

PBW

 

[UCE]

Hey UCE,

Can you explain the whole deal behind all the 'plonks'?

Just wondering.

PBW

Sure. I did once in one message, but unless you read that particular message or unless you were part of the online subculture where plonking originally came from, they probably look kind of weird.

Plonk is the sound of someone hitting the bottom of your ignore bucket, pure and simple. There's a lot of people mad at me right now and they're probably going to blow this up into some kind of evil deed, no doubt, as they've been doing that with other venial sins of mine, but for me, Ignoring somebody who is flaming me or attacking me more subtly is a blessed relief. I don't like to be hurt anymore than the next person. And the flamers do hurt me. So I ingore them. If such people should decide to let me know at some future point that they can talk civilly with me, and if I am convinced they are sincere and not just saying that so they can flame me in a more subtle way, I take them off of ignore.

I think that's why message boards give you the ignore ability. If you don't want to carry on in fruitless arguments with people who have already made up their minds about you that you're the arch-demon, then ignoring them, not conintuining or escalating the arugument, is the very best you can do.

If people don't flame me unbearably (or completely out of left field like that rose person whom I don't even know--that was wild it's like she took one look at me and turned into a raving maniac) then I don't plonk them. I talk to them. And generally the unplonked folks are much more pleasant to be around anyway, because they already know how to be civil and decent even to people they do not understand, and we can all go back as quickly as possible to having quiet, sane, interesting discussions.

I plonk for different reasons. I plonked gravedigger right now because he told a lie about me: that I wanted flaming responses to my messages (which I most certainly do not!), and I do not trust liars, especially the ones who make up fantasies about your personal emotions and motivations that only you can know. That sort are backstabbers. He will remain plonked forever, probably, because I cannot trust somebody, ever, who shows that sort of dishonesty.

Anyway, I probably told you far more than you wanted to know. But the gist is that plonk is a carryover word from a forum I was once on and it simply means you've put somebody on ignore. I use the word because it's habitual.

Unda

 

[~Dream~]

Sorry Unda..

WTF???? I don't even know you. I haven't addressed any messages to you. Do you always flame strangers out of the blue? Calm yourself dearie, don't wet your panties. You've made up your mind about someone you don't even know and started to scream at her madly. That tells me all I need to know about you.

Plonk.

________________________
I eally am by the attitudes of certain people on this forum right now ,people I THOUGHT I KNEW and trusted ,oh well ya do know about what they say .. about a wolf in sheep's clothing ,dont ya?
for the record,I most certainly do think better of myself than I did a couple weeks ago,and to stick with the thread topic it was just my thought about a cetain Dom (my Master) that has helped with that.. I thank God that He does NOT have to place himself above others in order to "feel better' about Himself ..

If I can waste my precious time reading some of the other stuff on theses threads (muddle through) mind you that Others have written that I Dont always agree with,then I consider myself lucky for keeping my mind OPEN and my heart warm,for then I discover that maybe its NOT such a waste of my time at all ,like finding an experienced submisive such as yourself who can take her time to "help out' and NOT 'belittle' a fellow sub... I also have a great friend Ghost's amaris who does the same thing and dixiecritter to name a couple... I am happy to know the both of them as I feel that is our purpose to help build each other up as Sexy chele once told me and Not to tear people down just for being so passionate with their opinions...it just doesnt seem right to have so many attacks going on ,geez and I thought the "wars' were all in the "middle east'where good ole asshole pres.Bush wants to go and blow way some more of my fellow bros & sisters?
maybe I was wrong .. but I sure as hell hope PEACE comes soon ~Dream~

 

[justgem]

.

 

[Grvdigger]

As this thread is coming to an end, I just want to thank all the O/ones who put thought into the responses and helped started others thinking. I apologize to A/all on the curves that were thrown in. I am not sure why some feel that when some one post their O/own thoughts that it is an attack personally on them or their beliefs. This should be a place where you have your thought poked and prodded. With out constant rethinking W/we just begin to accept things as they are and forget why W/we thought that way in the first place.

 

[SexyChele]

Grvdigger,
Just a little "highjack" here to apologize to you, the thread's originator, for my contribution putting this thread offtrack. I was away from my computer all weekend and today, and just returned this evening.

My actions on your thread were inexcusable and disrepectful of you. I apologize to you and to all the others who contributed in a spirit of honesty and forthrightness, and hope they can forgive.

End of "highjack", I promise....

 

[UCE]

Re: sigh......

*shaking my head* how did this happen again?


please note when u contributed to this thread following that it was very pertinant and my Grv responded to u seriously and respectfully.

I did notice that, Gem, thanks, and I appreciated that post. I followed it up, in fact, with another one to show him I wasn't feeling any hostility toward him or disagreement with his basic view, which I do agree with.

Gem said:

"He does have a brain UCE and has always been willing to help any who ask and take them seriously. are all these insults necessary "

I'm going to talk specifically about what your master did to inspire my response for a paragraph or two, but then it gets more gerneral and is not discussing him in parcular but a number of reactions I have gotten to my posts. If you're unclear of where the personal comments end and where the general begin, please ask me, as I don't want you to be mistaken about this!

I don't know if they're necessary or not. Insults and their effect were kind of the last thing on my mind at that point. What I was thinking about was that three or four people had already presumed that evening to tell the world exactly what they _knew_ I was thinking or feeling (which, in all cases were outright lies--I didn't think or feel anything of the sort) and then here came your man, doing the very same nasty dishonest thing: telling this strange who flamed me out of the blue a total lie: that I just want people to respond to me. That's the last thing I want. What I want is to stiick up for myself and not let people trample all over me and then to ignore such people's responses if they continue to harass me. That's why I put them on ignore.

If your master had gotten my assumptions correctly, of course, I would have been relieved. But because he ascribed to me henious and evil motivations (a desire for responses and attention??? OH GOD! If you only knew...if you only knew) that I have never experienced in my life and because this was about the third or forth time this had happened that evening, I was pretty upset by it and I didn't watch too carefully what I said. I saw him (and still kind of do) just like all the rest of the people attacking me: instead of calmly and reasonable asking about my ideas, they're ascribing things to my angry frustrated tone and attempts to defend myself against the lies being told about me that just aren't true and have never been true.

And I just have to wonder, Gem, why do so many of the posters in this group need to turn me into a terrible criminal, need to acribe (falsely) to me such evil motivations? I can't help but think it's because they cannot respond rationally or sanely or without rancor to ideas which are basically, simply my own opinions. No one else here, at least that I've noticed, has been told that they MUST back up their opinions with substantial proof? Everyone else here gets to mouth whatever wild or out-there ideas that they want without being told they are being dishonest by not prviding proof for them!

Even the moderator of this group seems to have been taken in by the idea that I am in some sort of special class, that my ideas should not be voiced or listened to unless I provide utmost substantiation for them. While I am glad to tell people why I think certain things, my reasoning, such as that I have observed a certain relationship pattern repeat over and over, I'll be damned if I've going to publish copyrightable research results in an open forum where anybody could steal them and re-publish them elsewhere, which is basically what some people are demanding I DO! Yeah, Unda, ruin all your carefully done reasearch, blow your chances of ever getting published just because we DEMAND you do! That is, to put it mildly, one of the most absurd and selfish demands being put to me in this group.


I'm sorry, but I find this not a little unfair, and not a little predjudiced. It feels like a classic witchhunt to me--that's why I keep using that word to characterize what is going on here in regards to me, obviously. I believe some people here have felt extremely threatened for whatever reasons they may have of some of things I've spoken of and that they are leading the rest of this group to demand behavior from me that they do not demand of any other regular poster here and also to accuse me of things (like claiming to be able to know what I was thinking or feeling when I wrote something) that they would NEVER claim to know about anybody else.

I frankly don't understand why your master said what he said, and under different circumstances I would have asked him why he claims to know so well what motivates a total stranger, but circumstances being what they were I was so hurt by yet another person presuming to be able to read my mind (and what they read being total lying trash!) that I simply used my post to express hurt and anger. I was fed up, gem, totally fed up with this stupidity and dishonesty. And then to see your formerly rational master do it too....my god! It was just too much. It made me feel that there is no hope in the world: that nobody is possible of rational unattacking discourse no matter how nice and reasonable (yes, I thought him nice and reasonsable before) they appear. They're only putting that on as an act, I concluded when I saw your master's last message to me, so that they can get you feeling comfortable and safe around them and then tear you to pieces. Which is basically what I felt he did to me.

Do you know why he just decided out of the blue that I wanted all this things which are the opposite of what I really want? I think he was angry at me for speaking my mind to others in this forum and that he wanted to "punish" for it. Well, Gem, it succeeded. I cried hard when I saw his message. It seemed like such a total betrayal.

Gem finally said:

"what was the topic again????? lol
oh yeah...things to look for in a Dom. what do u look for? what r your thoughts on the suggestions of what to look for here? .... anything that was missed that should be considered?"

I would love to reply to this if and when I feel a little better kiddo. I don't know when that will be. Thank you for trying to keep the peace. I hope I explained sufficiently why I got so defensive at what your master did to me. While I expected that sort of behavior from others here, I didn't expect it at all from him. So I've learned something important, yet again, in the exchange. If you learn something from the bad things that happen to you, it's not a total waste or loss.

Regards,
Unda

 

[~Dream~]

Gravedigger ..

already received MY pm and I TY FOR THE Response,its NOT however always EASY to respond correctly or even ignore it when people attack you and I hope that all the "attacking' of each other in ALL the threads tones down soon (gettin a headahe) I think it's suddenly starting to get more *fun* going out and playing with my 10-yr-old on the trampoline again ..

 

[justgem]

.

 

[LadyHeart]

I would be happy to zipman.


Top- this is a label that describes a person who is the giver with bdsm. A top may or may not be a dominant but likes to give the whipping or what ever activity it is. Most tops enjoy being bottoms or recieving also..

Grvdigger,

I think you explained everything pretty well in this post, but I had a comment about the above quote.

I personally have been on the recieving end of this opinion more often then I care to recall. I don't believe that most Tops like to receive at all. As a matter of fact, of the many Tops I know and have been to social events with, I'd say that far less than half of them switch.
I have been to clubs where I have been outright told that I was "playing" at being a Domme/Top, and that all women really are bottoms. People smacking me on the ass just because they think it's cute. I know that is not what you have said in this instance, but it rang familiar bells to that effect.
I just thought I would throw that out there. I do myself bottom all of about 2 hours a year. I don't know that that qualifies as enjoying receiving, as I use those hours strictly for emotional release.

LadyHeart

 

[zipman]

Grvdigger,

I think you explained everything pretty well in this post, but I had a comment about the above quote.

I personally have been on the recieving end of this opinion more often then I care to recall. I don't believe that most Tops like to receive at all. As a matter of fact, of the many Tops I know and have been to social events with, I'd say that far less than half of them switch.
I have been to clubs where I have been outright told that I was "playing" at being a Domme/Top, and that all women really are bottoms. People smacking me on the ass just because they think it's cute. I know that is not what you have said in this instance, but it rang familiar bells to that effect.
I just thought I would throw that out there. I do myself bottom all of about 2 hours a year. I don't know that that qualifies as enjoying receiving, as I use those hours strictly for emotional release.

LadyHeart

So how would you define a top? I ask as I am constantly confused by the term and how it should be used correctly.

Thanks
Zip

 

[LadyHeart]

So how would you define a top? I ask as I am constantly confused by the term and how it should be used correctly.

Thanks
Zip

I would define it almost exactly as GrvDigger. I only take exception to "Most tops enjoy being bottoms or recieving also.. "

I think he worded and described the definitions very well.


LadyHeart

 

[zipman]

I would define it almost exactly as GrvDigger. I only take exception to "Most tops enjoy being bottoms or recieving also.. "

I think he worded and described the definitions very well.


LadyHeart

Thank you for your opinion on this. While I am comfortable defining almost every other BDSM term, that one just always stumped me.

Zip

 

[Grvdigger]

LadyHeart,

ty for for Your comment. I know a number of ppl that just enjoy bdsm and nothing of D/s. They do not like the terms of Dom/me and sub. I usally reserve My "labels" of tops and bottoms for them. I see Dom/me as being a top only in the since they do the giving (and before all the subs run and get pitchforks, I know they give tremdously. I think you A/all know what I mean). As a Dom I do not really enjoy being on the bottom side of bodage or such, so I do know what you mean. I do not consider Myself a top then just a Dom. As for the other piece you have said about ppl saying that since you are a female that you must be really a sub, oh boy, I know some Dommes that would really change their minds.....hmmmm...maybe I will call them up and send them that way. Oh what fun they would have.