Labels and titles and terms, oh my!

[ChucklesNLovin]

GraceAnne,
I looked there. when I started 6 weeks ago and I just checked it again.
It is missing the following definitions....
BDSM
Master
Slave
Top
Bottom
"Topping from the Bottom" is Mis-defined as Top, Bottom and Versetile.
Rack says see SSC
SSC says see RACK.

If this is the bible... it needs some work.
That's probably why we're here...

 

[HottieMama]

I think...
Risk-Aware Consentual Kink is for Kink (Duh!).
Safe Sane and Consentual is for BDSM.
Kink is independant from BDSM.

Kink is independent from Sadomasochism???? What??? Independent from Bondage??? Huh???

And incest play was one example of something not covered by the Wiki definition that for some people falls into edge play.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Kink is independent from Sadomasochism???? What??? Independent from Bondage??? Huh???

And incest play was one example of something not covered by the Wiki definition that for some people falls into edge play.

You can add it yourself. Wikipedia is publicly editable. (your edit will ring a little bell someplace and someone will eventually come around to see what you did, and decide whether or not in their estimation, your edit should stay. Providing links to sources makes a big difference.)

"Kink" is just one of those portmanteau words that covers a whole lot of things. Like "smut" which in writing can mean anything from innuendo through erotica to feelthy peectures. It doesn't signify any particular practice but might imply an anti-establishmentary attitude.

Oh, and BTW:
Jack Rinella's leather dictionary

Jack Rinella is the guy I learned it from, basically-- the fairy godfather, so to speak, of the women's leather group in Chicago.


I've just emailed him and asked him if he will make it available as an ebook.

 

[HottieMama]

Like "smut" which in writing can mean anything from innuendo through erotica to feelthy peectures.

I totally heard "feelthy peectures" in a funny voice in my head... I think it was Father Haverty's from my Catholic school days...

See "smut" for me are those things that are one step above..(below???)...what the majority consider erotica/mainstream porn. It's dirty, raunchy, and typically taboo...(which is another term we could play the semantics game on...)

 

[Stella_Omega]

I totally heard "feelthy peectures" in a funny voice in my head... I think it was Father Haverty's from my Catholic school days...

See "smut" for me are those things that are one step above..(below???)...what the majority consider erotica/mainstream porn. It's dirty, raunchy, and typically taboo...(which is another term we could play the semantics game on...)

I have no dog in the "smut" fight, I use it when people ask me what I write-- and usually with an ironic wink Likewise, erotica and porn-- without some other modifier, like "commercial" or "mainstream" there's no big onus on the words-- in my personal opinion.

Likewise, really, with umbrella terms like BDSM and Kink. Leather is a specific tradition which has its own enormously contentious body of historians. Hets seem to have appropriated BDSM and think they invented it, but that could be me feeling peevish. Maybe the het tradition can keep the term "lifestyle" for their very own. Although-- I wish they wouldn't conflate a sexual preference with everything a person does. *cough*

 

[graceanne]

GraceAnne,
I looked there. when I started 6 weeks ago and I just checked it again.
It is missing the following definitions....
BDSM
Master
Slave
Top
Bottom
"Topping from the Bottom" is Mis-defined as Top, Bottom and Versetile.
Rack says see SSC
SSC says see RACK.

If this is the bible... it needs some work.
That's probably why we're here...

That's because there is no definitive answer for those. You can start a million of these threads, and the answers will vary depending on the person you ask. You want black and white, and it's not ever gonna happen.

Furthermore, RACK and SSC say more than 'see other term', they say exactly what they mean. RACK is risk aware consensual kink and SSC is safe sane and consensual. The issue you're going to run into with SSC is people's definition of what's safe and sane. The only one you'll get a good general consensus on, definition-wise, is consensual. And the issue with RACK is what people consider kinky. Lit started a new forum, I believe, specifically for kink, because we were getting tired of anything that wasn't mainstreem being put in the BDSM area.

BDSM is bondage/dominance, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism. That's the definition. What dominance and submission means .... suffice it to say that I've been here long enough to see many many arguments and disagreements about what they mean. I will not join in anymore, because it's not worth it. I define myself as a sub, I know others who would define me as a slave, and have argued that I am, and I really don't care. The important thing is that my husband knows who, and what, I am. If someone called me a purple people eater would that make me less of who I am? No. Or, as I constantly tell my kids, if someone calls you a poopyhead it doesn't make you a poopyhead.

Labels are for helping people to know which general area you're coming from, not to define who you are. I can tell you I'm a mother, and that tells you I have children, but it doesn't tell you if I'm a hands-on mother or if my mother is doing the raising of my children. I can tell you I'm a submissive and it tells you that I prefer my sex partner to be of the dominant/top persuasion, but it doesn't tell you how much power he has or if I'm a bedroom only sub. The entire point of labels is to give people an idea of who you are, not an in-depth picture, and that's why there will never be a definitive answer to any of you questions. And it's also why there will never be anything in the dictionary under those terms - not as long as I'm librarian at least.

 

[graceanne]

I have no dog in the "smut" fight, I use it when people ask me what I write-- and usually with an ironic wink

Me, too. LOL

The other day my daughter (age 12) and I were getting new books. They put her books (she likes junior versions of paranormal romance) in with the adult books, so she had to run any book she chose by me. She handed me one, and I recognized the authors name, and handed it back saying 'no, she writes smut'. This lady standing next to me, started LAUGHING. I said 'well, there's stuff that's appropriate for 12 year olds and there's stuff that isn't', and the woman just laughed again, and said 'i know, i just haven't heard the word smut in so long it struck me as funny'.

It is a kinda fun word to use, though. Smut. Not as much fun as discombobulated, but still fun.