Labels Labels labels....

[bourbonslut]

This has been very informative. By the way, what is a "pyl" that someone referred to earlier?

I've only done one-on-one situations with people w/varying degrees of experience...and it's hard to just all of a sudden "be" a certain way. I feel like I don't know HOW to do certain things?!

Just reading the stories is exciting, but are there places to actually learn how to, say, dominate, tie up, spank, submit, etc.......learn the ropes (ha!) so to speak??

Also, I've never been to a "club" type place. I'm not model-thin, and I'm a little intimidated, looks wise. How do you learn about these places, what happens, etc?

Lots of questions from the b-chick tonight!

love love SMACK!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

This has been very informative. By the way, what is a "pyl" that someone referred to earlier?

<snip>

PYL/pyl = Pick Your Label/pick your label referring to the Dominant/Master/Top/Whatever and submissive/slave/bottom/whatever of your choice. Easier to type the three letters than the 3-4-5 words, avoiding confusion ... well, most of the confusion.

 

[catalina_francisco]

This has been very informative. By the way, what is a "pyl" that someone referred to earlier?

I've only done one-on-one situations with people w/varying degrees of experience...and it's hard to just all of a sudden "be" a certain way. I feel like I don't know HOW to do certain things?!

Just reading the stories is exciting, but are there places to actually learn how to, say, dominate, tie up, spank, submit, etc.......learn the ropes (ha!) so to speak??

Also, I've never been to a "club" type place. I'm not model-thin, and I'm a little intimidated, looks wise. How do you learn about these places, what happens, etc?

Lots of questions from the b-chick tonight!

love love SMACK!

Depending where you live there are a variety of ways to learn the 'how to's'. There are several threads here which do talk about techniques and safety measures (some in the library, some a matter of doing a search through threads back to the beginning which is usually interesting to browse). If there are groups or munches in your area it is also another way of making contact with others who are both new and experienced and usually willing to answer questions, guide newer players etc.

There are also sites which are BDSM orientated which will list events in various locations and where there are going to be seminars and/or demonstrations/classes on various techniques and practices.

Clubs vary depending on what type club they are, location, and who runs them. It is not a necessity to frequent or visit them unless you feel you want to. I had never been to one until about a year ago and then it was a fetish club and only stayed an hour or so.

One thing you will find in most social gatherings is looks are not that important, more so attitude and behaviour are.....and the image portrayed in the glossy pics of body beautiful people is often the exception rather than the rule. That does not mean there is a set behaviour though some are more strict than others, but in general means respecting others' choices and treating people politely. Often there is a set of guidelines displayed or given as to what is considered acceptable in that environment and is great if you can hook up with someone who will show you around and introduce you to some people. MAin thing is to play safely and enjoy your journey.

Catalina

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Separated this from the PYL/pyl question just for clarity's sake.

I feel like I don't know HOW to do certain things?!

One isn't born knowing how to "be/do" pyl or PYL, though one might be born with the tendency to behave in one manner or the other. The specific behaviors are largely learned behaviors, and will most usually differ from person to person and relationship to relationship.

are there places to actually learn how to, say, dominate, tie up, spank, submit, etc.......learn the ropes (ha!) so to speak??

Certainly! Reading this board is a good beginning, along with reading from a number of other sites: http://castlerealm.com/ http://www.altsex.org/bdsm/ http://www.fetishalliance.net/ and http://www.bdsm-education.com/index.html as well as many more. Then, join a local group or three, and attend munches, demos and play parties if they have them.

Also, I've never been to a "club" type place. I'm not model-thin, and I'm a little intimidated, looks wise. How do you learn about these places, what happens, etc?

As you continue in our culture, I think you'll find that most people in it are less judgmental about looks, weight, etc., than the general populace, which may have something to do with our not being "accepted." Most of those I've met consider the person inside much more important than the shell in which he/she is wrapped. As far as learning "about these places," again, your local groups will be a prime source of information.

Best of luck to you in your search and your journey!

 

[bourbonslut]

thank you all so much! this has been very helpful, especially those links, kind sir!