Ladies: Is a BJ not "Really" Cheating...

[liqueur]

As an aside, does anyone else get the vibe that this is an attempt to relieve a guilty conceince?

I get the feeling that the OP has an agenda, and might not be so interested in the fact that almost every poster here does not go along with that agenda.

@ the OP: I'm all for free love (and yes, I'd be okay with it if my wife gave a BJ to a stranger, as long as it was safe). But free love has to be communicated and agreed on between partners.

 

[samanthaswitch]

This one's for the ladies... Curious question... I've known plenty of woman who during a "girls night out" got a little buzzed and carried away and gave a quick blow job to someone... or me... and consider it pretty innocent flirting... So what do the ladies really think... Are BJs pretty tame innocent stuff?

Depends on the relationship. For me I only do open relationships so no giving a Bj isn't a problem. In a more restrictive ones I'd say its better to talk through boundries then hide it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

This one's for the ladies... Curious question... I've known plenty of woman who during a "girls night out" got a little buzzed and carried away and gave a quick blow job to someone... or me... and consider it pretty innocent flirting... So what do the ladies really think... Are BJs pretty tame innocent stuff?

How about if she got a little buzzed and carried away and sat on someone's face? Would you consider that innocent flirting?

 

[BeachMomma]

For me, yes, it would be cheating. Turn the situation around.....how would I like it if I found out he was getting a blow job from another woman or giving another woman oral sex? We'd have a problem. So it's just as wrong for me as it is for him.

 

[subwannabe]

This should be a question for Bill Clinton. OOps, I think we already know his answer. Maybe we should ask Hillary. I'm sure she would have an opinion on the matter.

 

[long4phun]

In response to all the post wondering about a "hidden agenda"... the genesis for the Q i posted was stumbling across the dancingbear.com website here on lit... Where apparently male strippers do office and bachelorette parties and the like... i was intrigued to see how many "respectable" gals, and ones with rings, seemed to having no problem giving a quick BJ to the male strippers... So thought i'd see what insights the post could reveal... And there were certainly plenty of women who "shied away" from the unwanted attention of said strippers... Just an explorative Q in female sexuality... What can i say... I have a curious mind...

 

[dashd]

I would certainly consider a bj to be cheating. I've always figured that if your bf or spouse would be angry/crushed/hurt, then its cheating.

Not a gal but would have to agree with lynn. I must admit i love sites like partyhardcore and dancing bear and women giving the male strippers bj's. I would love to send my wife to one of these "parties" and see her reaction and if she goes for it even better! Or even goes all the way even better. Those guys are far better hung than me and she deserves a "big treat" once in awhile. Shame she's too vanilla!

 

[Ellafun]

In response to all the post wondering about a "hidden agenda"... the genesis for the Q i posted was stumbling across the dancingbear.com website here on lit... Where apparently male strippers do office and bachelorette parties and the like... i was intrigued to see how many "respectable" gals, and ones with rings, seemed to having no problem giving a quick BJ to the male strippers... So thought i'd see what insights the post could reveal... And there were certainly plenty of women who "shied away" from the unwanted attention of said strippers... Just an explorative Q in female sexuality... What can i say... I have a curious mind...

I agree with the earlier statments that any sex outside a committed relationship is "cheating" unless both partners have an agreement (oral sex, fingering, hand jobs...all are sex.)

That being said, there is a growing trend among women a LOT younger than me that oral sex "isn't really sex." Somehow, unless there is vaginal penetration, some (uneducated) young girls think that a blow job is NOT sex. I have a teenage daughter; I have heard these conversations, and it just boggles my mind. There is a whole generation of sexually active people out there who think that the behavior on the Girls Gone Wild videos and reality tv shows on MTV are how they are supposed to behave. I don't find it surprising at all that you're seeing that on DancingBear.

 

[BradBigBrain]

I agree with the earlier statments that any sex outside a committed relationship is "cheating" unless both partners have an agreement (oral sex, fingering, hand jobs...all are sex.)

That being said, there is a growing trend among women a LOT younger than me that oral sex "isn't really sex." Somehow, unless there is vaginal penetration, some (uneducated) young girls think that a blow job is NOT sex. I have a teenage daughter; I have heard these conversations, and it just boggles my mind. There is a whole generation of sexually active people out there who think that the behavior on the Girls Gone Wild videos and reality tv shows on MTV are how they are supposed to behave. I don't find it surprising at all that you're seeing that on DancingBear.

Just checked out DancingBear. DAYUM.

 

[Wyldfire]

The younger girls that use this mindset are raised better but see this as an out that they can use. I'm not a slut, 'cause I'm not having sex..... Blow jobs aren't sex after all. I weep for the future sometimes..... Remember guys, those girls are the ones that have started a sudden rash of "cold sores".... And remember that cold sores is idiot code for herpes.....

 

[dashd]

I agree with the earlier statments that any sex outside a committed relationship is "cheating" unless both partners have an agreement (oral sex, fingering, hand jobs...all are sex.)

That being said, there is a growing trend among women a LOT younger than me that oral sex "isn't really sex." Somehow, unless there is vaginal penetration, some (uneducated) young girls think that a blow job is NOT sex.

It's a Bill Clinton thing

 

[LadyVer]

How about if she got a little buzzed and carried away and sat on someone's face? Would you consider that innocent flirting?

LOL...

 

[creampieluvr79]

I consider kissing someone else cheating, so a bj? Absofreakinlutely. Not sure why taken girls would be out putting themselves in a position to be giving strangers head, but ok..
Like someone else said, would you like it if your girlfriend did it? My husband would lose his shit if I did that or even kissed someone else, and rightfully so. I would be devastated if he did anything with another woman.

But that's me. In so many cases, monogamy is dead. I won't judge other people, but it won't be something that happens in my relationship.

I would agree with you completely. I can't honestly fathom anyone considering a blowjob NOT cheating, aside from the "open" relationships mentioned earlier in this thread and I honestly can't wrap my head around that either.

 

[RaynieJ]

Yea, unless you are in an open relationship, I consider a BJ cheating, for sure. If my man went down on another woman but that was all, I'd probably dump him lol. If you are intimate with a different person than the one you're committed to (other than open relationships), then you are cheating. But that's my opinion.

 

[SandraMustard]

As an aside, does anyone else get the vibe that this is an attempt to relieve a guilty conceince?

Do you mean...

Damn, it could be. He could have gotten drunk and gave some guy a blow job and now wants approval from others to sweep it under the carpet.

 

[Wyldfire]

Do you mean...

Damn, it could be. He could have gotten drunk and gave some guy a blow job and now wants approval from others to sweep it under the carpet.

Not the craziest drunken night out story I've ever heard.....

 

[RaynieJ]

Do you mean...

Damn, it could be. He could have gotten drunk and gave some guy a blow job and now wants approval from others to sweep it under the carpet.

Haha...could be, I never thought about it like that!

 

[husky4life]

I don't know if it is or not, but I really really really want one

 

[desertslave]

The way I give them, it would damn sure be considered cheating!

 

[Miss_Ali]

Quantum Cheating

There's a cheating curve in every relationship. Your definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much you, yourself want to cheat. (SATC)

 

[sexywifegail]

My husband and I have an agreement. Before I give someone head, I call him to let him know. He loves it when I give oral to a stranger. I have my phone with me at all times amd send him pics of the action.

 

[Bbb13]

My husband and I have an agreement. Before I give someone head, I call him to let him know. He loves it when I give oral to a stranger. I have my phone with me at all times amd send him pics of the action.

Can I sign up?

 

[sexywifegail]

*smile*

 

[eastsidegent]

What about the guy whose wife used to do oral, but a year or so into the marriage took it off the menu and he hasn't had a blow job in 20 years and goes out and gets one...and that is all he wants. No relationship with the giver, no attachment, etc.

 

[LadyVer]

What about the guy whose wife used to do oral, but a year or so into the marriage took it off the menu and he hasn't had a blow job in 20 years and goes out and gets one...and that is all he wants. No relationship with the giver, no attachment, etc.

Personally, that's a pretty crappy thing for a wife to do. Crappy as well if the hub did the same to wife with no more pussy loving. I would be hesitant to make judgement statements on this.