LDR'S-Are they really worth the pain?

[Ebonyfire]

Personally 10% of LDR *pain* as I understand it of submission and Dominations conflicts of agreement would be My maximum. This quote would probably make many blanche at its narrowness. But it is My honesty and should not be the yard stick of another.

I am probably at 0 - 5% at this time.

Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Rephrase?

__________________________________
wow!! another defector? lol sorry for any pain that You or Lance had to go through dear Eb,really I am...

* Slowmoe ty for your feelings on the matter..

No need to feel sorry for me.

I have always had "other fish in the sea."

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Rephrase?

No need to feel sorry for me.

I have always had "other fish in the sea."

My motto is "One monkey don't stop the show!"

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

I am probably at 0 - 5% at this time.

Ebony

I like Your numbers much more than My own...I must have been having a conservative moment...I will blame it on tomorrows election!

 

[Ebonyfire]

I like Your numbers much more than My own...I must have been having a conservative moment...I will blame it on tomorrows election!

LOL
I have decided not to reject submissives who are out of the country or out of state, but I do use the LDR period to determine if there may be any "magic".

I eliminate any sub who will or cannot travel for a real time trial period. Hence the 0 - 5% pain percentage.

Ebony

 

[Shadowsdream]

LOL
I have decided not to reject submissives who are out of the country or out of state, but I do use the LDR period to determine if there may be any "magic".

I eliminate any sub who will or cannot travel for a real time trial period. Hence the 0 - 5% pain percentage.

Ebony

Do You also agree that if the time You spend online with these subs is time in conflict that You get bored? Or is that just me? The same with on the phone...conflict=boredom..I have a million other more pleasant ways to spend My time.

 

[A Desert Rose]

LOL
I have decided not to reject submissives who are out of the country or out of state, but I do use the LDR period to determine if there may be any "magic".

Ebony

Well stated. This was the point I was trying to make all along. You did it in one sentece. And I thought I wrote in a concise manner... LOL

 

[A Desert Rose]

Do You also agree that if the time You spend online with these subs is time in conflict that You get bored? Or is that just me? The same with on the phone...conflict=boredom..I have a million other more pleasant ways to spend My time.

Shadows, I feel the same way. Hours of disagreement with anyone, is time I will never get back in my life, period.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Well stated. This was the point I was trying to make all along. You did it in one sentece. And I thought I wrote in a concise manner... LOL

Well you gave the the word I needed (magic) to describe what happens. Then it took meeting bitchboy to show me "magic".

I understand what I need to do.

Learning can be painful, but growth is sometimes painful & is
always rewarding.

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Do You also agree that if the time You spend online with these subs is time in conflict that You get bored? Or is that just me? The same with on the phone...conflict=boredom..I have a million other more pleasant ways to spend My time.

YES. As soon as boredom sets in, I discontinue the dialog. I find it is a precursor to beating a dead horse.

I also find that this works in my vanilla relationships too. when boredom sets in, I discontinue the relationship. Again, no sense beating a dead or dying horse.

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

Shadows, I feel the same way. Hours of disagreement with anyone, is time I will never get back in my life, period.

That kind of waste seems to go around and around in circles.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Why is a sub better to beat that a dead horse?

the sub is still moaning, and has not drawn any flies!

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Why is a sub better to beat that a dead horse?

the sub is still moaning, and has not drawn any flies!

Eb

And there is no more of a nuisance than flies!!!!

 

[~Dream~]

Conflicts/Disagreements

Do You also agree that if the time You spend online with these subs is time in conflict that You get bored? Or is that just me? The same with on the phone...conflict=boredom..I have a million other more pleasant ways to spend My time.

_____________________
Some time is bound to be spent on conflicts and disagreements both online and on the phone(thats how we LEARN what pushes each other's buttons so to speak" however if it DOES get excessive then there is this little thing called the receiver that you can simply "hang up" if you cannot tolerate anymore,if communication is "stopped' altogether ,be prepared for the consequences-=breakdown of the relationship in general...spending time together is VERY VERY important ..imho.******* or on the phone..it promotes a feeling between Dom/mes and their subs a "connection if you will that they no other way can enjoy... everything CANNOT be all pleasant mushy mushy B.S. all the time after all..if yyou are getting "bord" thebn perhaps the one in charge=Dom,should find something more "exciting" to do or discuss? just a thought..

 

[~Dream~]

0-5%??????

LOL
I have decided not to reject submissives who are out of the country or out of state, but I do use the LDR period to determine if there may be any "magic".

I eliminate any sub who will or cannot travel for a real time trial period. Hence the 0 - 5% pain percentage.

Ebony

_______________________________
<<<<<<<<is on my KNEES thanking God himself that I have the Master I do now as those low numbers well ya dont even wanna KNOW what they make ME think..put it that way...lol and as far as the feeling "sorry" well actually EB ,I was trying to offer 'empathy ,,,not sympathy but sometimes I feel that some of the Dom/mes on these threads today think they NEED NOTHING from their Subs or any one else's either!! geez...what kind of pain were you all talkin about anyways?/ awww I guess it doesnt really matter..

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Conflicts/Disagreements

_____________________
Some time is bound to be spent on conflicts and disagreements both online and on the phone(thats how we LEARN what pushes each other's buttons so to speak" however if it DOES get excessive then there is this little thing called the receiver that you can simply "hang up" if you cannot tolerate anymore,if communication is "stopped' altogether ,be prepared for the consequences-=breakdown of the relationship in general...spending time together is VERY VERY important ..imho.******* or on the phone..it promotes a feeling between Dom/mes and their subs a "connection if you will that they no other way can enjoy... everything CANNOT be all pleasant mushy mushy B.S. all the time after all..if yyou are getting "bord" thebn perhaps the one in charge=Dom,should find something more "exciting" to do or discuss? just a thought..

exactly

 

[~Dream~]

Re: cym,...and ALL

No apology is needed, (I,...Uh,...heard that somewhere), but to be perfectly honest,...Dream nor I care TOO much about the content of what one may post on ANY of our threads.

We like well thought out responses, little gems of humor, and frankly,...I myself fall short often on posting my TRUE intentions when making the initial OPENING post.

(it's kinda like a "Goat Trails" thingy to us)

We like the surprises. If one of our threads gets what most call,..."Hi Jacked",...so what? No biggie, if it was important to me, I would just open up another thread on the subject matter.

Mostly,...if a post is not a *FLAMING* post,...I welcome ALL the insights. You are MOST welcome, as are ALL others, to post your opinion on ANY matter in any of our threads.

_____________________________
and not just because I'm His 'submissive" also but because Master speaks the TRUTH ,I am in 100% agreement and I do feel my thread title IS self-explanatory(recquiring each to answer as THEY SO CHOOSE TO ) whether it be in support of Artful & I or not(ty ADR) or just to comment..ty everyone!!

 

[SexyChele]

Re: 0-5%??????

_______________________________
<<<<<<<<is on my KNEES thanking God himself that I have the Master I do now as those low numbers well ya dont even wanna KNOW what they make ME think..put it that way...lol and as far as the feeling "sorry" well actually EB ,I was trying to offer 'empathy ,,,not sympathy but sometimes I feel that some of the Dom/mes on these threads today think they NEED NOTHING from their Subs or any one else's either!! geez...what kind of pain were you all talkin about anyways?/ awww I guess it doesnt really matter..

Dream, hold on for a moment, please! Look at the way you phrased the title of this thread. You used the word "pain". I think I know what you were trying to say, but what I think a lot of people are thinking is that if a relationship causes "pain", why bother? Frankly, I'm in the same boat - if a relationship is more about "pain" than pleasure, it will end very quickly for me.

I think you had probably meant are LDRs worth the emotional turmoil that is sometimes brought about through distance. Some are, some are not. I have a friend who lives in Texas whom I've known for over a year. There is a sexual chemistry, and if he were to tell me to meet him anywhere in the US, I'd fly to him in a minute. But there is no "turmoil" or "pain" involved in what we have now. (other than missing each other sometimes)

What EB is referring, I think, is that if a sub is unwilling or unable to travel to meet her, she disqualifies him. I would do the same with a Dom. Meeting online is okay - wonderful, in fact. But I've decided long ago that an LDR is simply something I cannot do. I need to have that special some one with me - or easily accessible. Therefore, if I were to meet some one online who lived a great distance away, and they were not able to travel to meet, the relationship would end before it starts.

EB - as well as many others - are more than willing to put in the time and effort to have relationships with their subs and Doms that are mutually pleasing and satisfying. However, not everyone is wired to do the LDR thing. I have to admire that EB has such low numbers. It tells me that what she is concerned about is building a relationship where the needs of both her and her subs are met.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: 0-5%??????

What EB is referring, I think, is that if a sub is unwilling or unable to travel to meet her, she disqualifies him. I would do the same with a Dom. Meeting online is okay - wonderful, in fact. But I've decided long ago that an LDR is simply something I cannot do. I need to have that special some one with me - or easily accessible. Therefore, if I were to meet some one online who lived a great distance away, and they were not able to travel to meet, the relationship would end before it starts.

EB - as well as many others - are more than willing to put in the time and effort to have relationships with their subs and Doms that are mutually pleasing and satisfying. However, not everyone is wired to do the LDR thing. I have to admire that EB has such low numbers. It tells me that what she is concerned about is building a relationship where the needs of both her and her subs are met.

EXACTLY Chele.

I am not interested in being some wanker's beat off fantasy Domme. I am a busy woman.

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Conflicts/Disagreements

_____________________
Some time is bound to be spent on conflicts and disagreements both online and on the phone(thats how we LEARN what pushes each other's buttons so to speak" however if it DOES get excessive then there is this little thing called the receiver that you can simply "hang up" if you cannot tolerate anymore,if communication is "stopped' altogether ,be prepared for the consequences-=breakdown of the relationship in general...spending time together is VERY VERY important ..imho.******* or on the phone..it promotes a feeling between Dom/mes and their subs a "connection if you will that they no other way can enjoy... everything CANNOT be all pleasant mushy mushy B.S. all the time after all..if yyou are getting "bord" thebn perhaps the one in charge=Dom,should find something more "exciting" to do or discuss? just a thought..

Dream, why does my posting my opinion about MY lifestyle bother you so much? Different strokes for different folks, remember?

Just because it does not reflect your reality, do no make the mistake that you know what is going on in my mind.

Eb

 

[~Dream~]

Chele & Eb..

Dream, hold on for a moment, please! Look at the way you phrased the title of this thread. You used the word "pain". I think I know what you were trying to say, but what I think a lot of people are thinking is that if a relationship causes "pain", why bother? Frankly, I'm in the same boat - if a relationship is more about "pain" than pleasure, it will end very quickly for me.

I think you had probably meant are LDRs worth the emotional turmoil that is sometimes brought about through distance. Some are, some are not. I have a friend who lives in Texas whom I've known for over a year. There is a sexual chemistry, and if he were to tell me to meet him anywhere in the US, I'd fly to him in a minute. But there is no "turmoil" or "pain" involved in what we have now. (other than missing each other sometimes)

_________________________
You are correct Chele it was the 'emotional pain more than anything else that I was thinking of actually however I just need to count my lucky stars that Artful & I have a strong bond that will see us through anything but it does NOT STOP me from feeling "empathy" for those who were or are not so lucky.. I apologize for criticizing Eb's opinions also ..Eb,I'm just having one of my "off: days instead of bein my usual loving self-sorry ,just kinda felt that no matter where I turned today that subs were getting "slammed ' ..my feelings on the matter is that we should be appreciated every much as our Doms expect us to appreciate them ..sorry for bein so damn sensitive then again..that's just ME..

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: Conflicts/Disagreements

Dream, why does my posting my opinion about MY lifestyle bother you so much? Different strokes for different folks, remember?

Just because it does not reflect your reality, do no make the mistake that you know what is going on in my mind.

Eb

_______________________
EB? see above^^^^^ post of mine for apology please as I am both woman and submissive enough to apologize when I am wrong .. ty

 

[SexyChele]

Re: Chele & Eb..

You are correct Chele it was the 'emotional pain more than anything else that I was thinking of actually however I just need to count my lucky stars that Artful & I have a strong bond that will see us through anything but it does NOT STOP me from feeling "empathy" for those who were or are not so lucky.. I apologize for criticizing Eb's opinions also ..Eb,I'm just having one of my "off: days instead of bein my usual loving self-sorry ,just kinda felt that no matter where I turned today that subs were getting "slammed ' ..my feelings on the matter is that we should be appreciated every much as our Doms expect us to appreciate them ..sorry for bein so damn sensitive then again..that's just ME..

Dream, we all have "off" days. I know I've had my fair share of them! Sometimes, for me anyways, it helps to sit back for a few moments before responding. Or wait until later in the day. Try to think back on that person's previous posting style. Have they been disrepectful in the past? No? Well, it's probably in how I'm reading what they are writing, then.

But sometimes just turning away from this darned machine for a little bit does wonders to put things in perspective!

Hope your day turns into an "on" one, Dream!

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Re: cym,...and ALL

I am in 100% agreement and I do feel my thread title IS self-explanatory(recquiring each to answer as THEY SO CHOOSE TO ) whether it be in support of Artful & I or not(ty ADR) or just to comment..ty everyone!!

Honey, if you're in 100% agreement with Artful all the time, then why do you post thread after thread after thread, day after day, letting us all in on the arguements and disagreements and power struggles that the two of you are encountering?

Can't you see that such threads, such words, are a shocking challenge to Artful's dominance over you? Additionally, they're a direct counter to your claims of submission. Are you so wound up in seeing your thoughts splashed higgeldy-piggeldy all over this forum that you will not stop to think what such incessant harping on and on about your personal and highly rudimentary ideas regarding dominance and control must do to your dominant?

Some things are best worked out between the people involved. Some things are simply not meant to be talked about aloud.
Some things are hurtful to our dominants and worse, they're incredibly disrespectful to the bond that exists between dominant and submissive.

Questioning is good.
With respect.
With an eye toward gaining knowledge and bringing harmony and joy to the one we serve.
With the intention to bring more knowledge to all.

However, self-serving and incessant harping on issues of control, for example, make one seem either too dumb to learn or determined to maintain center stange regardless of whose dignity (like one's dominant's) they sacrifice in the process.

Just my opinion, of course.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: cym,...and ALL

Honey, if you're in 100% agreement with Artful all the time, then why do you post thread after thread after thread, day after day, letting us all in on the arguements and disagreements and power struggles that the two of you are encountering?

Can't you see that such threads, such words, are a shocking challenge to Artful's dominance over you? Additionally, they're a direct counter to your claims of submission. Are you so wound up in seeing your thoughts splashed higgeldy-piggeldy all over this forum that you will not stop to think what such incessant harping on and on about your personal and highly rudimentary ideas regarding dominance and control must do to your dominant?

Some things are best worked out between the people involved. Some things are simply not meant to be talked about aloud.
Some things are hurtful to our dominants and worse, they're incredibly disrespectful to the bond that exists between dominant and submissive.

Questioning is good.
With respect.
With an eye toward gaining knowledge and bringing harmony and joy to the one we serve.
With the intention to bring more knowledge to all.

However, self-serving and incessant harping on issues of control, for example, make one seem either too dumb to learn or determined to maintain center stange regardless of whose dignity (like one's dominant's) they sacrifice in the process.

Just my opinion, of course.

I just have to agree (again). Is this twice or three times? Shit cym, next we will be picking out china! LOL!

Eb