Levels of Submission

[Blushing Bottom]

Would that include breathing?

d

I fantasize a lot about being a submissive but the bottom line (excuse the pun!) is that I probably couldn't go through with it in real life. Or perhaps I could but it would be limited to bedroom time only. I believe that everything you do should be done in moderation.

 

[cookiecat]

I think you need to sit down and take the time to wait before you assign yourself a level which may or may not pan out for real...most here do not like comparing and claiming levels of submission as it seems competitive and like people are placing themselves above others which is not what submission is about. You are still a virgin sexually (unless something has changed there), you have no RL BDSM experience, you have not met your cyber Master, you are reading everything - fictional and otherwise I suspect - which you can get your eyes on, and you wonder why you feel unsatisfied? It sounds like you are surrendering yourself to sub frenzy more so than submission.

Being submissive is about accepting what it is your Dominant wants of you. There are countless threads/posts from subs claiming they are frustrated because their Dom/me will not 'allow' them to submit in the way they want, to the level they want, and even being presumptious enough to claim they know better than the Dom/me what would be best for the Dom/me if only they would surrender and let the pyl show them!! What is missing IMHO in such statements is the reality that submission is about submitting, IOW doing as the Dom/me wants and needs, not as the submissive feels is good for them or themselves. If the PYL feels like tuning out and leaving you to amuse yourself for awhile, that is their right and part of the advantage in being a PYL. If they decide something is not good for you, or has not been earned, that also is part of their role. They are not there to amuse and entertain the submissive and keep them making happy puppy jumps of delight their submissive needs are being met according to the submissive's idea of what should be happening. If you do not feel you are being given enough to do, how are you going to handle being part of a relationship where you are not the one and only? That means the PYL has to divide their time between you and others....what are you going to do in those times when it is not your moment in the spotlight? Stamp your foot and demand more?

Does this mean you have no rights as a submisive? No, but it does mean you have to learn acceptance and domination, and if you really feel your needs are not being met sufficiently in an ongoing way, moving on to someone you feel can fulfil those needs in the way you see fit. As I have mentioned to you before, submission is not as glamourous or easy as you often seem to think. It is fucking hard work, often leaving you feeling you could give more, do more, would prefer a different order, like you have given all you can and are being asked for more, but the reality is, that is what you take on with submission, doing what suits another, not you....and for many of us, the fact our needs are not always directly met, that we are denied our heart's submissive desires, are asked for more when we have bent over backwards already, and not having some of our greatest deeds acknowledged, is exactly how we feel our submission most and find pleasure in the pain and anguish. It is not easy to understand until you have been there, but it is for me more real than if I felt satiated and satisfied in a direct and obvious way 24/7. And of course, part of being a good submissive or slave is awareness of how much responsibility and work a good PYL commits to and doing whatever you can to ease that burden, not making it clear you need more for yourself.

Catalina

wow. as a "new to the lifestyle" submissive, this post hit me square in the head. I've had those frenzied feelings too... and am realizing the very important distinction between what i think i want/need vs pleasing him. the difference between just playing at being submissive and really becoming submissive.

thanks all for sharing - this has been a very informatiove thread.