Light Domination/Loving Authority

[intothewoods]

I find that hard to believe. Take the game of football. That's a very violent game, but no felony assault, right? How about boxing and mixed martial arts? I'm pretty sure consent is a defense in the United States.

Or is there some exception I'm not aware of?

You are correct about assault (in the U.S.), generally speaking. In many states, however, domestic violence is a separate charge. It really does depend on the jurisdiction as to whether consent would be a defense and how domestic violence is treated. Given how difficult it is to successfully prosecute someone for domestic assault, more than likely consensual s&m play is not going to result in prosecution. Of course, that doesn't mean that concerned doctors or police officers won't say something or involve themselves to some degree. Still, the more likely scenario is that a relationship or scene goes bad, and pyl calls foul. Not a common occurence, but more likely than a prosecutor going after someone for consensual acts.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Ancilla1968]

You are correct about assault (in the U.S.), generally speaking. In many states, however, domestic violence is a separate charge. It really does depend on the jurisdiction as to whether consent would be a defense and how domestic violence is treated. Given how difficult it is to successfully prosecute someone for domestic assault, more than likely consensual s&m play is not going to result in prosecution. Of course, that doesn't mean that concerned doctors or police officers won't say something or involve themselves to some degree. Still, the more likely scenario is that a relationship or scene goes bad, and pyl calls foul. Not a common occurence, but more likely than a prosecutor going after someone for consensual acts.

OOOO the names of people you could talk to about that .... Mike Tyson .... Kobe Bryant .. and that's jsut "he said, she said" rape, never mind "domestic abuse".

I told my Master that if he wants to take the chance I would wind up in a completely unrelated accident and in front of an Emergency Room doctor who saw my welts, bruises, etc .... it was his chance he was taking. If I am in an accident or poisoned or somehow incapable of saying "I consented" ....

All i could do is say "I consented." and my knowledge of the police is often that they nod, pat you on the head, say "If you say so" then turn to master and read him his rights.

 

[Ancilla1968]

Yes, exactly. I'm so glad you started this thread! Pain turns me off quickly...I find myself seeking permission or to relinquish control.

ETA: I'm not about to multi-quote all the posts I was just nodding my head to, but I want to add that I also don't mind the word slut (or similar words). Especially when used in the context of "You're my slut" or "such a good slut" (like someone said earlier).

DING DING DING!!

Verbally i am HIS slut .... you (collective) call me "slut" and imma go OFF.

jest sayin *looks innocent*

 

[ownedsubgal]

OOOO the names of people you could talk to about that .... Mike Tyson .... Kobe Bryant .. and that's jsut "he said, she said" rape, never mind "domestic abuse".

I told my Master that if he wants to take the chance I would wind up in a completely unrelated accident and in front of an Emergency Room doctor who saw my welts, bruises, etc .... it was his chance he was taking. If I am in an accident or poisoned or somehow incapable of saying "I consented" ....

All i could do is say "I consented." and my knowledge of the police is often that they nod, pat you on the head, say "If you say so" then turn to master and read him his rights.

sadly this is not too far removed from reality. there was a time i had to go to the hospital for something unrelated to anything i had suffered at the hands of my Master. i had many bruises, mostly old, covering my entire body. i had an old rib injury that was not 100% healed. i was slightly underweight and stomach was empty due to not eating for a few days. i was in and out of consciousness, and very very far from being in my right mind, so was completely unable to speak up in my Master's defense. when i finally came to for more than a few minutes, there were 3 police officers surrounding my hospital bed, and all immediately started questioning me "who did this to you?", "do you feel safe?" etc. it was terrible. it was crystal clear no one was going to believe a darn thing i said, regardless, so i was fairly tight-lipped and responded with anger instead of fear.

only luck and my Master's quick, calm thinking got us out of that one.

 

[kaycee217]

while i believe the laws may vary somewhat state to state, in most states consent is NOT a valid defense against domestic violence. the reason being, many victims of DV will choose not to press charges or even speak a word against their abuser, for obvious reasons of fear. therefore laws are set in place so that police, medical staff and other professionals can take it upon themselves to press those charges of assault, battery, whatever, against the perceived abuser.

my Master and i have narrowly freed ourselves from some hairy run-ins with police and doctors, due to this law.

Is it domestic violence if one party wants to be hit? Well, maybe it isn't, but due to "battered wife syndrome," perhaps no doctor or police officer will believe a word the "battered" spouse says.

 

[Ancilla1968]

sadly this is not too far removed from reality. there was a time i had to go to the hospital for something unrelated to anything i had suffered at the hands of my Master. i had many bruises, mostly old, covering my entire body. i had an old rib injury that was not 100% healed. i was slightly underweight and stomach was empty due to not eating for a few days. i was in and out of consciousness, and very very far from being in my right mind, so was completely unable to speak up in my Master's defense. when i finally came to for more than a few minutes, there were 3 police officers surrounding my hospital bed, and all immediately started questioning me "who did this to you?", "do you feel safe?" etc. it was terrible. it was crystal clear no one was going to believe a darn thing i said, regardless, so i was fairly tight-lipped and responded with anger instead of fear.

only luck and my Master's quick, calm thinking got us out of that one.

*sighs and nods*

 

[ownedsubgal]

Is it domestic violence if one party wants to be hit? Well, maybe it isn't, but due to "battered wife syndrome," perhaps no doctor or police officer will believe a word the "battered" spouse says.

technically, it is domestic violence (violence in the home), regardless of consent. however generally if one's bruises/injuries are mild and can easily be explained away as stemming from "rough sex," then you are not likely to stir up any trouble. but if you are into more intense physical activities, that is a bit harder for the authorities to swallow. my Master and i do not engage in bdsm play or scenes, he does not hit me for "fun." therefore it is much more difficult for me to pass off any mark or injury i may have as sex or kink related.

 

[Ancilla1968]

Is it domestic violence if one party wants to be hit? Well, maybe it isn't, but due to "battered wife syndrome," perhaps no doctor or police officer will believe a word the "battered" spouse says.

You are making a mistake in terminology. It is not "domestic abuse" but "assault" (with bare hands) and "assault with a deadly" with paddles, riding crops, whips, knives, etc etc etc

Unfortunately the BDSM community is no friend to battered wives .. or contrariwise.

As a former victim of abuse, I cannot promise my Master that, if he comes at me with a whip, i will not kill him. Fortunately he knows I'm not playing there, he knows my history of abuse and he is patient with it to teach me how it can be pleasurable.

 

[kaycee217]

technically, it is domestic violence (violence in the home), regardless of consent. however generally if one's bruises/injuries are mild and can easily be explained away as stemming from "rough sex," then you are not likely to stir up any trouble. but if you are into more intense physical activities, that is a bit harder for the authorities to swallow. my Master and i do not engage in bdsm play or scenes, he does not hit me for "fun." therefore it is much more difficult for me to pass off any mark or injury i may have as sex or kink related.

Hmmmmm

Let's say you were a police officer. Do you think you could tell the difference between a "battered wife" and a wife who's into very physical BDSM activities?

 

[Ancilla1968]

Hmmmmm

Let's say you were a police officer. Do you think you could tell the difference between a "battered wife" and a wife who's into very physical BDSM activities?

Kaycee .... I have a friend, as I mentioned, who is a cop. I asked him this myself. His answer ...... it does not matter what HE thinks. The law says "X" and when "X" is met he must arrest. Understand?

 

[kaycee217]

Kaycee .... I have a friend, as I mentioned, who is a cop. I asked him this myself. His answer ...... it does not matter what HE thinks. The law says "X" and when "X" is met he must arrest. Understand?

I do; sorry if I was trying your patience.

 

[Ancilla1968]

I do; sorry if I was trying your patience.

No baby you weren't. I'm just trying to make sure you understand ..... there IS no legal excuse .. no matter HOW much you get off ON being assaulted. your master is still committing a felony .... you just better pray the DA is willing to listen ......

 

[kaycee217]

No baby you weren't. I'm just trying to make sure you understand ..... there IS no legal excuse .. no matter HOW much you get off ON being assaulted. your master is still committing a felony .... you just better pray the DA is willing to listen ......

Fair enough and duly noted.

 

[intothewoods]

And yet people I know who worked with victims of domestic violence to have their abusers locked up have had limited degrees of success.

Again, if a cop or doctor sees someone who has been severely beaten and has some evidence that it is at the hands of the person's spouse, it does stand to reason that that professional will take further action of some sort. Will the PYL go to jail in that scenario (where the spouse has clearly stated it's consensual)? Unlikely. A person crying foul is a whole other ball of wax, and of course, a person's celebrity adds other issues to the thing.

 

[intothewoods]

Kaycee .... I have a friend, as I mentioned, who is a cop. I asked him this myself. His answer ...... it does not matter what HE thinks. The law says "X" and when "X" is met he must arrest. Understand?

What law are you talking about?

 

[Ancilla1968]

What law are you talking about?

That would depend. Care to give me a ciry, county, state and senario so I can look it up on that countys legal website please? better yet .. you dpo it and post it here .. try ..... Kings county, NY ... Cook county, IL and Los Angeles County, CA ... that WILL be three long drawn out posts but i'll skim them when you post them ROFL

 

[BiBunny]

I think a lot of it depends on your attitude when questioned. I've been to the doctor with bruises and was asked about them. I had this half-blush, half-grin on my face and answered somewhat sheepishly, but not fearfully or as if I were hiding something. The only other question I got was, "Was it consensual?" The doctor got another shy grin and an affirmative answer, and that was the end of that.

I have known police officers as well. In fact, I had wild, kinky sex with one of them. (God, I miss that man.) They ARE allowed to use their discretion when upholding the law.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Hmmmmm

Let's say you were a police officer. Do you think you could tell the difference between a "battered wife" and a wife who's into very physical BDSM activities?

i would like to think so, but honestly, i don't know. those folks have a difficult job, and i understand that. and personally i don't fit into either of the above categories. i do not consider myself "battered," and i do not engage in "very physical bdsm activities." i am a consensual slave, to a Master who sometimes may beat me with fists and feet if he has a stressful day at work, and who will backhand me firmly across the face when i speak out of line, and teach me a serious physical lesson if he gets home from work and all my house chores have not been completed. these are actions, and reasons, which align exactly with the stories of many victims of domestic violence. the fact that my situation is consensual and theirs is not means absolutely nothing in the eyes of the law. as far as they are concerned, no one can consent to this.

 

[ownedsubgal]

And yet people I know who worked with victims of domestic violence to have their abusers locked up have had limited degrees of success.

crazy, isn't it? it seems those who truly need help have the most difficult time receiving it, while precious time and resources are wasted on those who do not want or need the assistance.

 

[intothewoods]

That would depend. Care to give me a ciry, county, state and senario so I can look it up on that countys legal website please? better yet .. you dpo it and post it here .. try ..... Kings county, NY ... Cook county, IL and Los Angeles County, CA ... that WILL be three long drawn out posts but i'll skim them when you post them ROFL

Um, no, as a rule I try to avoid legal research as a hobby. The reason I asked is that consent is a defense to assault in the U.S., so unless we're talking about something specific where consent is not a defense, I'm not sure why a police officer would make an arrest based on bruises, etc., alone.

 

[Cajon555]

Um, no, as a rule I try to avoid legal research as a hobby. The reason I asked is that consent is a defense to assault in the U.S., so unless we're talking about something specific where consent is not a defense, I'm not sure why a police officer would make an arrest based on bruises, etc., alone.

I think many jurisdictions have adopted policies where the police must arrest if there is any evidence of domestic abuse, no matter what the supposed abused partner may say. They are required to err on the side of caution (meaning the protection of supposedly abused partners). If consent is a defense to assualt, then the courtroom is where that would be applied, not the field.

 

[GoddessHathor]

I would think, as a police officer or medical professional, it would be difficult to make the assumption that abuse is the result of any one specific circumstance. And unless that professional has a degree in psychology and is able to determine if coercion, fear, lying, etc is being used, they have to use best judgment at the time and rely on the courts to dig deeper and find the real causes.

And let's not forget, its not just women are the victims. Yes, they are the most common victim due to most women being physically weaker than most men, but there are many exceptions. I am the sub in my relationship, but I am a BBW...5'9", over 250 lbs, healthy and strong. My Master is 6', 164 lbs. If I was that type of person, I could easy cause him harm. I never would and my morals wouldn't let me, but still...it happens to other men. And it largely goes unreported because of the male ego and public opinion. Police and medical professionals will rarely cry abuse on a male who shows bruises and injuries.

Hence the reason the whole idea of humiliation, pain, etc. turns me off...way too fine a line....

 

[intothewoods]

I think many jurisdictions have adopted policies where the police must arrest if there is any evidence of domestic abuse, no matter what the supposed abused partner may say. They are required to err on the side of caution (meaning the protection of supposedly abused partners). If consent is a defense to assualt, then the courtroom is where that would be applied, not the field.

Agreed, but I was making the point about assault generally. Domestic violence is treated differently, although as you said it depends on the jurisdiction. And most prosecutors are not going to go forward with a case involving consensual s&m. Now, if the woman involved has been severely beated and she appears very afraid? They could go forward anyway. It's not an unreasonable reaction for an ordinary person, uninvolved with the M/s lifestyle, to be pretty freaked out by someone who has had the shit beaten out of them and is acting like a kidnapping victim.

 

[kaycee217]

I think many jurisdictions have adopted policies where the police must arrest if there is any evidence of domestic abuse, no matter what the supposed abused partner may say. They are required to err on the side of caution (meaning the protection of supposedly abused partners). If consent is a defense to assualt, then the courtroom is where that would be applied, not the field.

I think you're right, however when there's evidence of domestic abuse and the police officer must arrest the alleged offender, I think that's in situations where there was a 911 call or something.