Light Domination/Loving Authority

[ownedsubgal]

I think you're right, however when there's evidence of domestic abuse and the police officer must arrest the alleged offender, I think that's in situations where there was a 911 call or something.

not always. it can also happen when there's a spiteful ex who wants revenge (or custody), and as i stated before even making an unrelated trip to the hospital or doc's office.

 

[kaycee217]

not always. it can also happen when there's a spiteful ex who wants revenge (or custody), and as i stated before even making an unrelated trip to the hospital or doc's office.

Right, but the first step is taken by one of the parties, not medical or law enforcement personnel.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Right, but the first step is taken by one of the parties, not medical or law enforcement personnel.

in the case of the doctor's/hospital's visit, the first step is taken by medical personnel. so a Dominant can take his beloved submissive/slave to the ER because of an allergy attack, and end up getting arrested.

 

[an_angels_wings]

I'm a "light" sub, then, I guess. I like a little spanking and biting, but nothing too extreme for me. =)

 

[MrMentor7]

I'm a "light" sub, then, I guess. I like a little spanking and biting, but nothing too extreme for me. =)

Same here; I guess I'm a "light" dom.

 

[LilTexanGal]

I enjoy some humiliation and a fair amount of pain. Master is not wired for humiliation.....so we have had to come up with some scenario's that would cause me to be humiliated....but not by Him. For example....putting me in a house collar and going out for sushi.

I DO like.....like others here.....to be called dirty whore, filthy slut, bitch....but only in certain scenarios. I would not like to have a Master who treats me like that at all times. I would not stand for it, actually. I feel fortunate that Master has a hard time even saying those things to me in scene.

My point is there are Dominants out there who will fit your needs. It is all about communication.

 

[DirtyPet]

I am so glad that I found this thread. I have been going crazy thinking that I was not a real submissive. I adore the pain and the dirty names but I will not tolerate abuse if I do not enjoy it and I cant handle anything humiliating. I love serving my Master but at times I will get off my knees and stand my ground when something is just too much for me which is always the humiliation..thank you so much for this thread!

 

[sadangel]

I would think, as a police officer or medical professional, it would be difficult to make the assumption that abuse is the result of any one specific circumstance. And unless that professional has a degree in psychology and is able to determine if coercion, fear, lying, etc is being used, they have to use best judgment at the time and rely on the courts to dig deeper and find the real causes.

And let's not forget, its not just women are the victims. Yes, they are the most common victim due to most women being physically weaker than most men, but there are many exceptions. I am the sub in my relationship, but I am a BBW...5'9", over 250 lbs, healthy and strong. My Master is 6', 164 lbs. If I was that type of person, I could easy cause him harm. I never would and my morals wouldn't let me, but still...it happens to other men. And it largely goes unreported because of the male ego and public opinion. Police and medical professionals will rarely cry abuse on a male who shows bruises and injuries.

Hence the reason the whole idea of humiliation, pain, etc. turns me off...way too fine a line....

Thank you Goddess for pointing this out. Men can and are victims of DV. Twelve years ago I was at a DV Shelter. They were building a new shelter. This one would also include services for men. There are very few of those around. Male ego and public opinion both are definitely reasons it goes unreported.

 

[Netzach]

Thank you Goddess for pointing this out. Men can and are victims of DV. Twelve years ago I was at a DV Shelter. They were building a new shelter. This one would also include services for men. There are very few of those around. Male ego and public opinion both are definitely reasons it goes unreported.

The majority of these people will also be male victims of male perps. This is taken no more seriously than male victims of female perps: ie. none, traditionally. If a man assaults another man in the street generally there's legal recourse. If they happen to be partners, it's a joke.

 

[BossySon21a]

Is it felony assault if the "victim" wants to be hit?

Yes.

If the DA and/or the judge/jury think it went too far, then you can face jail time and a name on the sex offender list even if the other person insists at the top of (usually) her lungs that it was consensual. This is especially true if the 'top' is male and the 'sub' is female, but it can work that way with any pairing.

Also, just because it was consensual when you engaged in it doesn't mean it'll always be consensual when recounted afterward. This can be especially true if a divorce is underway.

 

[BossySon21a]

while i believe the laws may vary somewhat state to state, in most states consent is NOT a valid defense against domestic violence. the reason being, many victims of DV will choose not to press charges or even speak a word against their abuser, for obvious reasons of fear. therefore laws are set in place so that police, medical staff and other professionals can take it upon themselves to press those charges of assault, battery, whatever, against the perceived abuser.

In many jurisdictions, it goes further, professionals of those sorts are often legally obligated to report such actvities and wounds.

I have actually seen the argument made by certain legal people that the act of engaging in consensual interpersonal violence should treated as proof of incompetence to make the decision. That is, the willingingess to consenst should be seen as proof of incompetence to consent, since to them it is self-evident that such activities are inherently bad.

It's a minority view, at least in the legal world, but it does exist and people into BDSM should never forgot that it's there. If a given judge or prosecutor happens to share that view...things can get dicey.

 

[MrMentor7]

In many jurisdictions, it goes further, professionals of those sorts are often legally obligated to report such actvities and wounds.

I have actually seen the argument made by certain legal people that the act of engaging in consensual interpersonal violence should treated as proof of incompetence to make the decision. That is, the willingingess to consenst should be seen as proof of incompetence to consent, since to them it is self-evident that such activities are inherently bad.

It's a minority view, at least in the legal world, but it does exist and people into BDSM should never forgot that it's there. If a given judge or prosecutor happens to share that view...things can get dicey.

Sounds like a trip to the United States Supreme Court would be in order, then.

 

[BossySon21a]

The majority of these people will also be male victims of male perps. This is taken no more seriously than male victims of female perps: ie. none, traditionally. If a man assaults another man in the street generally there's legal recourse. If they happen to be partners, it's a joke.

Sadly too true. I wonder if that's true of lesbian domestic abuse too?

 

[BossySon21a]

Sounds like a trip to the United States Supreme Court would be in order, then.

This is mostly a matter of State laws, the Federal Constitution is pretty much silent on this sort of thing, and the precedents in Federal law are all over the place. Almost all law is in fact State law.

Most of the noise around the Supreme Court centers on the familiar screaming arguments of liberal vs. conservative, this sort of thing doesn't fit into that paradigm very well. You can find legal arguments in each camp that are friendly to BDSM activities...and some in each camp that would be useful in making it a serious crime. There's absolutely no guarantee that the SCOTUS would side with the BDSM community, or against them, even if they found grounds for a Federal ruling.

 

[Netzach]

Sadly too true. I wonder if that's true of lesbian domestic abuse too?

Yes, it is. It is very marginalized. The lesbian community, somewhat understandably, is invested in "we don't DO that kind of thing" and there's very little support or understanding in organizations not geared toward lesbians either.

 

[KoPilot]

(This isn't necroposting, is it? Though I didn't see anything in the rules against it..)

As someone new to this, or at least new to the idea of pursuing this and not just living it out in fantasy, I would say my relationship falls under this category. I'd say my partner's dominant streaks (which are many) are far more playful than anything, and we seem to act out the D/s roles in odd ways.

He's never come right out and ordered me to do something; instead, he'll drop hints, or give me, as I like to think of them, "challenges". I'm a very competitive person with a lot of pride, so I love being able to meet these challenges. I remember once we were in a subway station buying train tickets from a bank of machines. There were lots of people in line beside us and behind us as I'd just purchased my ticket and it popped out in the little slot on the bottom. He was standing behind me when he took a step forward and said in a low voice "you're going to have to bend over to get that". And so I bent over to grab my ticket stub, and ground my ass into his crotch while doing so. My god, the rush!

Another thing that he's joked about doing (and I've been on board with) is making me play some video game while reaming me from behind just to see how much I sucked at playing. (We're both into doing things for shits and giggles, and we're both into old school video games. Go figure.)

I can't honestly imagine calling him "master" or any of that... it seems so cliche, not to mention that I often hear Hayden Christensen's whiny bitch voice addressing Ewan McGreggor in my head whenever I think of it. I've called him Captain and sir on a few occasions just to be cute (we're both big militaria fans: we've both purchased officer's bars, and I made very sure that he outranks me ;P), though I got a secret thrill every single time.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

(
I can't honestly imagine calling him "master" or any of that... it seems so cliche, not to mention that I often hear Hayden Christensen's whiny bitch voice addressing Ewan McGreggor in my head whenever I think of it. I've called him Captain and sir on a few occasions just to be cute (we're both big militaria fans: we've both purchased officer's bars, and I made very sure that he outranks me ;P), though I got a secret thrill every single time.

I never call Sir Master, he doesnt like it and I find it odd to say. He is Sir, it shows him the respect he deserves and works for both of us.