Lit. Men To Men / Why not.............

[Nicodemus]

I think ( correct me if I am wrong here CC) the point was to tread lightly. The worst thing you can do some times is push on that kind of subject. Nothing wrong with a bit of prodding and poking but try to recognize when it is helping to let them express feelings they need to as opposed to opening up wounds that should be left alone.

This is one area where resentment or anger can easily be built up quickly. As you have already noted, men can be very closed about expressing there feelings, forcing them out there can leave them feeling exposed and uncomfortable rather than be a cathartic experience.

 

[crazy_canuck]

I think ( correct me if I am wrong here CC) the point was to tread lightly. The worst thing you can do some times is push on that kind of subject. Nothing wrong with a bit of prodding and poking but try to recognize when it is helping to let them express feelings they need to as opposed to opening up wounds that should be left alone.

This is one area where resentment or anger can easily be built up quickly. As you have already noted, men can be very closed about expressing there feelings, forcing them out there can leave them feeling exposed and uncomfortable rather than be a cathartic experience.

You're right Nicodemus. My last line is a bit confusing.
My point is that you need to tread lightly, unless of course once you ask the man he completely opens up to you. But my point was also that asking a man about his father may not make him cry (as a previous statement in an earlier post suggested)

The previous statement:
I learned a secret from a psychologist friend of mine. If you want to see a man cry, just ask him about his father.
End previous statement

 

[vladyofmysteryv]

I can see and understand what you guys are saying, Not my intesion to open up old wounds, I know that it can cause pain and if not anger, I think a lot od us has that part about them even me, Dont get me wrong on the subject, It is not that I want to open wounds, just trying to understand about men, Why do they hide things and then ask what went wronge, The guy i am dating, I been dating for the past 5 years, it hasnt always been easy, sometime i understand him sometimes I dont, I know there are things he dont like about me, and there are thing I dont about him, Just sometimes it is really hard to talk to him. We do talk and times we just dont want to go threw it. Most of the time it isnt about us, just others in and around us that get to him. I know I can be bitchy a lot, Well so can he, I complain and so does he, Just when I do it he says i am bitching , when he does it, seems like it is ok for him to, and excepts me to listen, Which I do, I try to understand, Just sometimes it is hard, Cause of not knowing or understabding what men go threw, I know it is different then how women see it and go threw it. So should I just say ok, Men are going to be men and Just back off, and give up on them all, Just forget about understanding, and wanting to know.

 

[armyjim_2000]

An interesting thread....

I agree with the gent who said that men are just wired differently...discussion of feelings is just not done. Besides, I'd rather talk about the latest sports news than my feelings, but I am one of those guys who wears his feelings on his sleeve...

And as for the father thing...I would fit into the category of it not bothering me, 'cause I didn't really know my father. My folks got divorced when I was little, and I don't really know the man. I talked to him on the phone, but he don't really seem to want to put in the effort to get to know me, so i don't sweat it. I lived without his guidance for this many years, so why bother?