Long Distance Relationships: BDSM style

[shy slave]

Thanks for bumping this Catalina.

Jay its a shame your attempts LDR did not work out, although I love the description of the Domme you knew

a replay of my vanilla ex-wife, just in a leather bustier

Several of us can relate to that kind of PYL/pyl.

Communication is the key to any relationship, LDR or not. It can appear more difficult to have good communication in an LDR.

Ironically I am not sure that is always the case.

There are so many ways to keep in contact: email, IM, mobile 'phone, landline, fax, web cam that there is little excuse for not doing so. Even in differing time zones.
Sometimes it needs some creative thinking, but it is possible.

It can be easy to reduce conversations to the mundane when you are together everyday. To me, thats when it takes more work, more effort to really say what you think is happening or how you feel.
My ex-husband visited yesterday, we have had more open and honest conversations since we split two years ago than we ever did when we were married.
These conversations are without ranccour, bitterness or anger.

The more difficult part is the lack of physical contact.
People have spoken of 'phone sex.
Personally I find it lonely to hear his voice and then have to sleep alone.
OTOH not hearing his voice would be worse.

LDR's are frustrating at times. I long to sit at his feet and hear how his day has been, what has happened to make him smile or laugh, or share with him aspects that I have enjoyed from the day. Instead its by 'phone or IM.

I want to see the positive of LDR and enjoy the journey no matter what frustrations or how much I miss him.
This time will not be given to us again.

The anticipation of the 'phone ringing or going online and seeing him there.
Driving to the airport to meet or being met from a 'plane.
The nervous, anxious feelings at seeing him again, 100's of thoughts in my mind regarding the second we touch and then the days ahead.
Jumbled thoughts and feelings crashing inside me when I think of him whilst trying to get on with day-to-day life.
Unexpected text messages or calls.
The almost painful time of watching him on webcam yet not being able to touch him.

At the point when we are together permanently these experiences will not be repeated in the same way ever again.

If I don't enjoy everything connected with LDR I would be miserable most of the time.

This viewpoint probably makes me more of a pain slut and masochist than I want to admit.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I want to see the positive of LDR and enjoy the journey no matter what frusrations or how much I miss him.
This time will not be given to us again.

The anticipation of the 'phone ringing or going online and seeing him there.
Driving to the airport to meet or being met from a 'plane.
The nervous, anxious feelings at seeing him again, 100's of thoughts in my mind regarding the second we touch and then the days ahead.
Jumbled thoughts and feelings crashing inside me when I think of him whilst trying to get on with day-to-day life.
Unexpected text messages or calls.
The almost painful time of watching him on webcam yet not being able to touch him.

At the point when we are together permanently these experiences will not be repeated in the same way ever again.

If I don't enjoy everything connected with LDR I would be miserable most of the time.

This viewpoint probably makes me more of a pain slut and masochist than I want to admit.

Nah, just makes you someone who enjoys every moment for what it is and the value it gives to the whole...something many have forgotten in this instant fix, fast pace world. Reading your words reminded me all too well of those feelings of running for the phone in hope, or answering it least expecting his voice and finding it there, and the almost decadent love afair with the PC...LOL, it was all good though very difficult at the time.....and we still feel it on a smaller scale now when we are apart through the day.

Catalina

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Daddy is my long-distance Dom. My honey is the Sir I live with. Let's just clear that up. Yes, they're aware of each other.


So. About Daddy.

I write to him daily. I keep journals of my day, of my thoughts.. stream of consciousness type things. Every day, I journal, and then every day, I type out that journal and email it to him.

I customize my avatars and titles and location to him.

I send him notes and post things for him, and make sure to link him to those things.

I've recently published a story on Lit for him.


Most important.. I make sure he knows I adore him. We're a very vanilla sort of Daddy/little girl, as in, he doesn't ask that I .. say.. wear nipple clamps to work, or whatever.. but we adore each other, and spend time together on Lit and on yahoo, and we're present in each other's thoughts. I do my best to serve him, and he makes it very clear that he cherishes me.

*soft smile*

 

[shy slave]

Slightly off topic

Ms Lilith can I ask are both your relationships D/s?

I have often wondered if its possible to serve two PYL's and what would happen if there was a conflict or requests.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Ms Lilith can I ask are both your relationships D/s?

I have often wondered if its possible to serve two PYL's and what would happen if there was a conflict or requests.

Yes, they are. My honey and I live together, and in all things, he comes first. My Daddy knows this, and respects it. Any requests, any demands Daddy makes are subject to my understanding with Honey.