looking for noncon-reading

[ellynei]

Yeah, no kidding.

Let's get this straight, you want us to skim through the non-consent stories with an eye for your particular tastes, and forward any stories we think you would like?

If so, you have a hell of a way of asking. And we've seen how you respond to the few who have offered suggestions. Your eyes seem fine enough when you're taking the time to slam them.

Turn on the fucking TV.

No. I don't expect anyone to skim. I am hoping someone would remember having read such a story and just link that.

As for my hell of a way of asking.

I can't ask any better. I've got a fucking personality disorder which means I don't fucking understand the social games of normal social interaction. Which means I spend my fucking life isolated in an apartment, along with the only person who can fucking stand to be around me.

As for slamming those who made suggestions.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to.

It's just so bloody hard for me to grasp which parts of the truth people want and which parts they don't want!

For the most part it seems people want you to lie to them.

I don't want to lie to people.
I don't want to hurt them either.

So basically I'm screwed all around.

And whenever I try to pretend I can SOMEHOW communicate with strangers, this is what happens.

AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN MY EYES SEEM FINE!!!!

Have you ever heard of ten finger typing and computerised loudreading.


And, no, I can't turn on the fucking tv. Cause I can't look at the fucking tv. Because of my FUCKING EYES.




So, now, you've had your swing at me. And have hurt my feelings.

Have I been punished enough now?

Can you tell me more specifically what I should and shouldn't have done, so I don't do it again?

Or should I be debased further, before I am worthy of forgiveness for my trespasses?

 

[save_marla]

Good lord.

I mean, good luck. Sincerely.

 

[ellynei]

Good lord.

I mean, good luck. Sincerely.

It doesn't sound sincere.

But if it was.

Thank you. I need it.

 

[ellynei]

TxRad

If my comments on your story "Wet" upset you or hurt your feelings in any way, I am sorry.

It was not my intention to reward kindness with... something opposite to kindness.

Even reading back, I can't see what I did wrong, or if I even did something wrong for sure.

But since someone claimed I slammed all suggestions, I am gathering that most likely I did wrong you in some way.

You said "fire away" and I took that to heart. I assumed that here was a writer who had reached the point of selfconfidence to be curious about everything regarding how his writings affect his readers. Or anyone reading his work.

So I went all the way. Full honesty: How it affected me, and why.

In my opinion it must be awesome to see that even I, a reader to whom your work didn't appeal, interpreted your main character exactly as you had intended.

 

[ellynei]

mia erotica

I've re-listened to my feedback to your Dr. Cockburn's medicine several times.

I hope you realised, when reading it, that with "more drawn out" I didn't mean that the ending was "drawn out". It wasn't drawn out.

What I meant to say was that I wished the ending had been longer.

Other than that, I don't know if I wronged you in some way. If I did, I'm sorry and beg your forgiveness.

You made no mention of what kind of feedback you did or didn't want, so I worked from the assumption that you wanted some.

You were kind to offer a link, and I did my best to respond in like manner. I am very sorry if I failed at this.

 

[ellynei]

mikeaday.

I think I wronged you.

From one post to the next I went from civil and polite interaction to raving critic. Flaring nostrils and froth streaming down my chin.

I'm sorry. I should have been more self-aware.

I was frustrated and instead of realising how this would affect my mannerism, I just let it all out.

That wasn't appropriate of me and it wasn't fair to you.

If I could redo it. I would not have said:

The main reason the story seems to be satiric, is that the main character appears to be a caricature of a stupid teenage girl.

She also has some very strange views on propriety. Like her view on her boss. First she doesn't mind him making her prance around in sexy dresses. Then she wants to tell him off for asking her to try out a too sexy dress. Then she doesn't really mind prancing around in her underwear for him. (She doesn't even get angry at his threat to fire her if she didn't.) And lastly, she thinks that giving him a blowjob in return for same too sexy dress is an ok deal.

For heaven's sake, how many braincells does it take for a girl to figure out that if she is good-looking and doesn't mind giving blow-jobs to perverts for payment she doesn't need a minimum wage job!!!

Later on. In the barn.

Her boyfriend has been knocked out by three assailants and chickenbrain is neither worried about his wellbeing nor fearful for her own life. All her brain can muster is, oh no, I have to preserve my virginity!

Seriously, if you didn't mean for this girl to be a caricature of stupid, you are in for some extensive rewriting.

Instead I would have only said.

"The main reason the story seems to be satiric, is that the main character appears to be a caricature of a stupid teenage girl."

This also sounds brutal. But, with my limited social capabilities, I am unable to break the truth more gently than that.

Also. Unless the main character has had a braintransplant in between chapters 1 and 2, I'd rather not read chapter 2.

Again, I was frustrated, and just let it all out. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.

If I could redo it, I wouldn't have said that.

I'm not sure what I should have said instead. For me, polite and civil interaction takes a lot of thought and concentration. It would take me quite a while to find a way to politely express that I'd rather not read chapter 2.




***

If you can forgive me my bad behaviour. Perhaps you will allow me to share some thoughts with you too.


Your story didn't fit my list of requests.

In spite of this, you rushed to link it and ask for any feedback.

When I didn't like the first chapter, you rushed to link chapter 2, only on a side note requesting to know what I disliked about chapter 1.

While trying to understand what I did wrong this time, I've had a lot of time to think about what's been going on in general.

It seems to me that your actions resemble those of a person who is new to writing. New to the high of someone enjoying your writing.

If that is correct, I wanna say. "Oh man, I know how that feels." There is no high like that high.

Instant addiction.

As with any other addiction, there are downsides to it.

One being that gaining a steady supply of the drug requires hard work and determination. Lots of it.

There are many steps to learning to live with this addiction. And steps within steps too.

One could write books about it. (I believe many have.)


One step, which I would like to mention right now, is to learn to look for the drug in the right places. (If you wanna buy cigarettes you wouldn't go to the candy-store either.)


No matter how good you become, no matter how brilliant a piece you should write, there will always be someone who doesn't like it. Always. (Believe it or not. Not everyone thinks Mona Lisa is all that interesting.)




The story you linked to me, a random stranger with very specific preferences, was something you had written very specifically for another specific person.

I know that on lit it is very common to "write for others". Very common to "explore many genres". Very common to try to "figure out what the readers of another genre want".

Maybe that is possible. It seems odd to me, but maybe it is possible.

It is, however, a very academic and detached approach to writing.


I'm of another school. I say, "Write with your heart and soul." Write stories which YOU like. Which you love. And then, when you've done that, edit those stories so others can love them too.

Because, in reality, you don't just want to mimic someone else's preferences giving them a brief hard-on or slight moistness. Do you?

You want to take their breath away! You want to carry them to that place which, before you wrote the story, only you had seen. As you, yourself, have been taken to places where noone has ever been.

Or is that just me?

 

[mikeaday]

No worries

hey ellynei

the way you gave feedback the first time was fine. if thats the way she appeared to be fair enough. i must go back when i have time and re-write the story.

i have though up one or two of the stories myself and they are on the site but i also like writing for other people. i dont do all genres and only do ones that i can be comfortable with or that appeal to me.

Most of the stories i have written have appealed to me aswell so i get the satisfaction or writing them and knowing that other people enjoyed them. i try to put my own little twist on them aswell.

the reason i wanted you to read the second story was to see if it was better than the first. i took more time with it and think i did a better job. although the second one does contain some emotional blackmail it also has a lot of force in it.

I would be interested in your feedback of it and you have my permession to be as blunt as you like.

If you dont feel like reading it dont worry about it

 

[ellynei]

hey ellynei

the way you gave feedback the first time was fine. if thats the way she appeared to be fair enough. i must go back when i have time and re-write the story.

i have though up one or two of the stories myself and they are on the site but i also like writing for other people. i dont do all genres and only do ones that i can be comfortable with or that appeal to me.

Most of the stories i have written have appealed to me aswell so i get the satisfaction or writing them and knowing that other people enjoyed them. i try to put my own little twist on them aswell.

the reason i wanted you to read the second story was to see if it was better than the first. i took more time with it and think i did a better job. although the second one does contain some emotional blackmail it also has a lot of force in it.

I would be interested in your feedback of it and you have my permession to be as blunt as you like.

If you dont feel like reading it dont worry about it

I'm very glad that you don't feel offended


But, I have to ask. If you didn't intend for the main-character to be a caricature, what did you intend?

She is excessively unrealistic in chapter 2 too.


Quote:

"When she opened her eyes at last she saw something that she never expected. David, the reverend, was standing in front of her with his cock swaying freely mere inches from her face. It was a decent size and she couldn't help comparing his to Sam's. David's cock was slightly thicker, but she didn't know if this was because of his portly build or not.

"I must know exactly what happened and how you felt so that I can help you best," explained the reverend. "You will have to do everything you did yesterday and I shall be the vessel for the demonstration"

"Will that wash me of my sins" asked Elizabeth drying her eyes with the back of her hand.

quote end.

Reads like a farce to me.

 

[SubbiSister]

I'm going to go out on a limb and rec my own story, "Illusory Intent" here. Feel free to criticize it if you don't like it. It is hard to pick something for someone you don't know, but I hope this meets your criteria.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=194082

Subbi

 

[ellynei]

I'm going to go out on a limb and rec my own story, "Illusory Intent" here. Feel free to criticize it if you don't like it. It is hard to pick something for someone you don't know, but I hope this meets your criteria.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=194082

Subbi

It fullfilled 9 out of 10 listed preferences


Your story is in present tense, which, due to my general dislike for that tense, detracted from my enjoyment of it. Yet you carry that difficult tense well enough that, even for me, reading the story gave more pleasure than the opposite.

In other words, I enjoyed hearing it.

I found it arousing too.

Thank you.

If you are interested, I noticed some discrepancies and have some editorial suggestions. (No, I don't intend to rob you off your present tense, not everyone is as opposed to present tense as I.)

 

[SubbiSister]

As I said, feel free to critique and criticize. I'm a big girl. I can take it. You won't offend me, as long as you aren't nasty or snarky.

Subbi

 

[SubbiSister]

Oh yeah, I guess I should also thank you for reading it. I am glad you liked it.

Subbi

 

[ellynei]

As I said, feel free to critique and criticize. I'm a big girl. I can take it. You won't offend me, as long as you aren't nasty or snarky.

Subbi

Comments and suggestions for the story "Illusory intent".

Before you start reading, the mere size and word count of this post might seem intimidating. Take a deep breath and keep your cool. Thorough nitpicking always fills a lot. And I'm very good at finding nits to pick. Ask anyone who has been submitted to this scalpel.

I hope you will find it useful. I intended it as constructive criticism.





Your story begins like this:

"She was sitting on the couch, half reading, half watching TV. A quiet night at home. The roommates were all out for the night.

The door opened, but she doesn't pay attention. A roommate home, big deal.

A hand covers her mouth. She is silenced before she can even think to scream."


Whereas the switch from past tense, to present tense is grammatically correct in the sense (she was doing that until the "now"), I disrecommend it.

From a reading viewpoint, theres no logic to the switch, and it makes the reader think "oh no, this author has no control of her tenses."

Which is a shame, because you do have control of your tenses.

So, to avoid confusion and bad premonitions, my recommendation is to change the past tense "intro" to present tense.

###

"Slowly it flashes into her eyes, then is pressed into her throat."

A brief horror image passed behind my eyes there.

Although, I on second thought, do understand what you mean, I recommend you change the wording slightly.

(If the reader gets the right image on first thought, it is so much the easier to live into it.)


####

in one paragraph: "He pushes the knife so hard against her throat she has a hard time breathing."

in the next: "If she moves, he will cut her. The knife is so sharp it won't take much."

An obvious inconsistency.

I recommend you rewrite: "He pushes the knife so hard against her throat she has a hard time breathing." to something else.

Maybe have him just press the knight lightly against her throat, and let her troubled breathing be caused by fear, rather than physical pressure?

####

"The blade presses against her artery."

I know what the author means when I'm reading this. But yet a little demon inside will always complain. ("Her artery? Which one!!") Pulling my thoughts out of the storyline.

####

"He takes the knife from her throat, but runs the sharp point along the back of her neck as he moves in front of her."

I recommend you rewrite to something like

He takes the knife from her throat, but runs the sharp point along the back of her neck as he moves to her front."

Or something better. My trouble with the old one is that he isn't moving around in front of her, he is moving from behind her to position himself in front of her.

####

"He can smell her fear."

Can he? Is he human?

If he is, what does fear smell like?

A quick solution to keep the reader's mind on the story at hand would be:

"He can almost smell her fear."

####

"...he grabs her wrist and laughs. He loops rope around both of her wrists, pulls her arms across her stomach and ties the loose ends together behind her back."

I have a hard time figuring this bondage out. After thorough thought it seems you were aiming for a "straight-jacket" (please forgive the spelling, i know how that word sounds but have no clue how it's spelled) positioning of her arms.

But the way you describe the way he ties them, all she needs to do is: work her wrists to her armpits, raise her elbows, and voila, her arms are free, apart from a loose piece of rope connecting them.

Anyway, what I'm saying is:

A bit more description of her bondage, or a bit less.

Personally, I find that a good way to avoid long boring descriptions of rope movements, is to instead infer "rope work in progress" and then focus on the limitations to her freedom of movement.

You are already sort of doing this, it seems. Except for the missing inferral that there might be "rope work" beyond the specifically mentioned movements.

####

"He feels her terror start to build."

Same as with "smelling her fear".

I recommend:

"He can almost feel her terror building."

(Or "start to build" if you prefer.)

####

"With his other hand, he tears at her nipples."

I recommend some other word than "tears". Maybe "tugs" or "pulls" or "pinches and pulls". Or something more inventive.

Maybe "tears at" is ok, it sounds odd to me but English isn't my native language.

####

"She feels his hardness swell between his legs. His jeans begin to stretch at the seams as his cock tries to break free. She can feel him growing, pushing against her softness. Even through his jeans, she can tell how huge he is."

Again. Is he human?

####

"She can tell he has undressed. The reality of what is happening to her starts to really sink in. She starts to struggle again. She tries to get away,"

The first time I read this, I thought it odd that a cock poised at her opening elicited this response when fist-fucking didn't.

Admittedly, the first time I read it, I also missed the "nearly seam-breaking" indicators of more than abnormal cock-size.

Take into consideration, that at this point of the story, the reader most likely hasn't caught on to the pointers that the woman knows her assailant. (I didn't.)

When the reader is unaware that the woman knows her assailant, her guesses at what his gigantic cock will feel like under brutal circumstances, is rather lost on the reader.

####

" Even though he stretched her out first, he can still feel her tear as he drives into her. "

How can he feel that?

I don't have any personal experience with vaginal tearing, but are you sure a guy can feel it? How?

####

"His pubic bone is bruising her."

I think you mean:

"Her pubic bone is bruising him."

####


"She can feel him growing inside her as the blood rushes to his cock. She is amazed she can still feel anything, she is so raw from the friction."

Is it possible you meant:


"She can feel him growing inside her as the blood rushes to his cock. She is amazed she can still feel anything but pain, she is so raw from the friction."

I still don't know a lot about "vaginal tearing" but if she had that would she still be so calm as to giving "raw from the friction" a second thought?

####

"Her body betrays her and she explodes in orgasm after orgasm."

When I read the story, this sentence came out of nowhere.

Since the brief nipple play on the couch, there has been no mention of the woman being aroused in any way.

Quite the contrary, the instant vaginal tearing guided my imagination in the direction of her not being wet.

####

Right, I think that was all.

 

[ellynei]

I'd like some more noncon-stories to read

Please

My eyes feel a bit better today, but browsing is still too harsh.

 

[ellynei]

snarky

oh crap, I shoulda looked up snarky in the dictionary before posting my comments on illusory intent.

I am generally unable to say anything without being "snarky".

I don't feel like deleting it now, though, gathering those comments took time, work, and precious eye-time.

I hope you found my snarkyness to be at a tolerable level.

Otherwise I'm sorry, and hope you will ignore the whole thing.

 

[SubbiSister]

THank you for the critiques. No, to me, they didn't seem snarky. To me, snarky is a cross between snide and nasty (rude). I appreciate all tha you had to say. Actually, you pointed out a typo to me, with that. " Even though he stretched her out first, he can still feel her tear as he drives into her. "
The he in "he can still feel..." should be she.
As you said, and I was surprised to read, English is not your naive language, so some of your comments might be due to the language difference.
AND, you're not supposed to get that she knows her assailant. Thats the kick at the end. Once you know that, and re-read the story, you can kind of gleen some hints in the piece, that might indicte it, and it explains her orgasm., too.
This story was written sveral years ago, as a recollection nd retelling of an actual event. Of courser, I had to take some artistic license with "his" perspective and thoughts.
Aain, thank you for your pointers. I appreciate that you took the time to break down each concern, point by point, rather than just say "well, it was alright, I guess".
Good luck finding another stor to read. If I get some time tonight, I'll maybe do some looking for you, now that I have a better idea of what you like (I'll try to remember you don;t care for present tense, too)

Subbi

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I put this story in the BDSM category but it has a non consent element. It is in the Halloween contest, called Dr. Cockburn's Medcine.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=442947

You never give up, do you? Bad girl. If I ever stood for election, would you be my campaign manager?

Elli, mia's story is good and honestly, hits all the buttons you say you want. Worth a read/listen and , if you like it, give her a vote.

 

[ellynei]

THank you for the critiques. No, to me, they didn't seem snarky. To me, snarky is a cross between snide and nasty (rude). I appreciate all tha you had to say. Actually, you pointed out a typo to me, with that. " Even though he stretched her out first, he can still feel her tear as he drives into her. "
The he in "he can still feel..." should be she.
As you said, and I was surprised to read, English is not your naive language, so some of your comments might be due to the language difference.
AND, you're not supposed to get that she knows her assailant. Thats the kick at the end. Once you know that, and re-read the story, you can kind of gleen some hints in the piece, that might indicte it, and it explains her orgasm., too.
This story was written sveral years ago, as a recollection nd retelling of an actual event. Of courser, I had to take some artistic license with "his" perspective and thoughts.
Aain, thank you for your pointers. I appreciate that you took the time to break down each concern, point by point, rather than just say "well, it was alright, I guess".
Good luck finding another stor to read. If I get some time tonight, I'll maybe do some looking for you, now that I have a better idea of what you like (I'll try to remember you don;t care for present tense, too)

Subbi

That'd be really nice of you But, don't feel obliged to search for me. Just, please, throw them my way if you happen to stumble across any that might fit!

 

[ellynei]

You never give up, do you? Bad girl. If I ever stood for election, would you be my campaign manager?

Elli, mia's story is good and honestly, hits all the buttons you say you want. Worth a read/listen and , if you like it, give her a vote.

I did listen to it and did say thanks here too.

I don't wanna vote

I don't wanna get involved in the contests in any way, neither openly nor anonymously.

It was very kind of mia_erotica to link me a story which fit my requests, and i'd like to reward kindness with kindness, but I never vote for reasons of owing someone a favour. And I never vote for reasons of thinking someone is kind and deserves a thumb up for their good behaviour. (I don't do the opposite either.)

Stories are stories. Politics are politics.

And my integrity means more to me than my popularity.

 

[mia_erotica]

vote for Dr. Cockburn's Medicine

You never give up, do you? Bad girl. If I ever stood for election, would you be my campaign manager?

Elli, mia's story is good and honestly, hits all the buttons you say you want. Worth a read/listen and , if you like it, give her a vote.

I know. Jenny Jackson taught me to hijack threads in order to promote my contest stories. Because if this non-con reader refuses to vote there's a strong chance other readers will stumble across Doc Cock in this thread and enjoy it and vote, and vote high. And Elfin - it means so much to me that you enjoyed my story because your writing is magnificent.

 

[meg1]

3.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=358359

Eirin chapters 1-6 by meg1. Good story, good sex. Very enjoyable. (Since she starts out by saying that the story isn't meant to be historically correct, it is also internally consistent.)
.

This is the first time I've been on in quite some time and I ran across this post. Thank you so much for including me in your list. I remember your comments as you were reading, and they really lifted my spirits. You are very sweet.

meg

 

[Tanuki]

2.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=170625

Karina the Sorceress chapters 1-3, by Tanuki is... I'm at a loss of words. In particular chapter 1 hits the spot so exactly that it's uncanny. Noncon erotica in the fantasy genre, again the storyline is internally consistent making me eat the sexual parts raw.

I know this is an old thread but I just saw this, and wanted to thank you for such a wonderful compliment.

My tastes are just like yours, which I imagine is why you liked my story.

I wish I had more time (any time) to write - I need privacy and free time to write, and I never have either these days.

 

[Sir Victor]

I know this is an old thread but I just saw this, and wanted to thank you for such a wonderful compliment.

My tastes are just like yours, which I imagine is why you liked my story.

I wish I had more time (any time) to write - I need privacy and free time to write, and I never have either these days.

I wish you would continue with your writing tanuki, you're such an outstanding writer!
What motivates you?

 

[LOAnnie2]

Well, I'll go out on a limb, 5 of my stories are non-con. One story though won't fit the criteria because in its original form it was too hard on the victim for literotica's sensitive tastes so I had to work in a forgiving (though I don't do it from 'she came so she is okay now' sort of viewpoint. Link is in my signature.

 

[kromen]

I wrote my first non-con a few weeks ago. It's in my sig and titled "Liquid Bullets". Enjoy.