Losing My Virginity to a Friend

[nycphoto]

I would say that if you are ready to give up your virginity and this guy is willing to take it from you go ahead and do it. It would be best if this guy has some experice as it will make it better for you. Even if you don't stay with him it will be memerable because he will know exactly how to reak you in, slow and soft. So I would suggest for you to allow yourself to be taken. At 19 your more than ready to shed your innocence.

 

[JammieDodger]

I'm not a person who should be giving advice here, considering my lack of experience. But I just thought I'd state the obvious, have you tried talking to him about how it would affect your relationship? Maybe that would help clear up alot of the what ifs? There's the possiblity he is the right guy who is just around the corner for you... and also there's the possibility it'll severely fuck up your friendship, but you won't know either way unless you discuss it with him and explain what you want to happen when you lose your virginity.

 

[SweetErika]

I would say that if you are ready to give up your virginity and this guy is willing to take it from you go ahead and do it. It would be best if this guy has some experice as it will make it better for you. Even if you don't stay with him it will be memerable because he will know exactly how to reak you in, slow and soft. So I would suggest for you to allow yourself to be taken. At 19 your more than ready to shed your innocence.

You're joking, right? First of all, age has little to do with readiness...some teenagers are ready, but some 40-somethings still aren't. You're ready when you have the knowledge and maturity to deal with the sex and potential consequences of it. You, NYC, only know if YOU'RE ready. Your post also ignores the emotional repercussions of having sex just to get it over with and with a friend...those are a big deal.

 

[oddity83]

My girl friend is still dealing with depression and other issue "due to get it over with sex" when it came to losing her virginity. Its been going on two tears now, she has broken up with the guy she done it with, deeply regretes it and has issues with sex, passion and love now. My advice is wait.

 

[Quoll]

Okay, I'm trying to decide whether or not I should lose my virginity to a friend of mine who has made it pretty clear that he would do so if I wanted. The thing is, I've liked this guy for over a year, and I'm afraid I would get too attached, and since we'd never work out as a couple, I would just be left pining after him.

I'm 19 and have never had a boyfriend, but I think it's about time for me to get it over with. Is this a bad idea?

There has been a lot of good advice given but I think the answer lies in your original question.

You have doubts.
The first time is nearly always memorable, whether it is a good memory or bad is up to you.
You are both having fun trying, why not just have fun together without worrying about the whole virginity thing and see where that leads, if the time is right I think you will know.

I M O.
Virginity is not a disease to be got rid of, it should be something you give freely to someone you care for, hopefully leaving you with some fabulous memories.

 

[cmarlowe01]

If your friend is willing, go for it.

 

[Noor]

A few things:

I lost my virginity at an early age with my best friend. I don't regret it at all. It didn't really change our friendship, its 32 yrs later and we are still friends. I occasionally read his wife's blog, with her permission of course, and at times her view of our relationship is amusing, she doesn't really get it, but everything is cool.

I didn't really get into sex until a few years later with a group of great, wild, fun friends who were definitely into sexual exploration. We were very close but not in exclusive relationships with each other, we loved each other but were not in love, we had a blast, we were safe, there was no jealousy or competition, its kind of hard to explain. I never really saw the nasty side of sexual relationships until decades later.

There are different levels of sexual awakening, in my life I think I have had four so far. Experiencing the first couple with good friends was very helpful for my future relationships, as it removed the pressure I might have felt by lack of sexual knowledge.

I have to say I am in this exact situation the only difference is I am almost 34. He is someone I have known about 6 years and I know he really cares about me as I do him.. yet we have no chance of ever being a couple.

I just have to say that I see this type of statement "we have no chance of ever being a couple" all over lit, and it really bugs me. Based on what I have seen of life so far, I am in my 40's, you really have no idea what the future will hold, NONE at ALL. Things happen, life happens, people change, people leave, people die.

I never thought I would be where I am now even 10 yrs ago, 20 yrs ago my current life would have been totally unimaginable. I will probably live another 50 yrs and I really have no idea what will happen or who I will be with. I know what I would like to happen and the people I wish to be with, but I am under no illusion that that is what will be.

People think they have control over the future and their lives, you have to think that to stay sane at times, but really we don't, everything can change in an instant. If you find people you really care about, don't close the door with words and thoughts like "no chance ever" find a way to keep them in your life, so when/if "ever" happens you will have a chance of being a couple.