Lost sub contact

[bisolom]

****************************************************

 

[ataxia.girl]

When the misery outweighs the good.

Pretty much.

There is also the factor of what else is out there. i'm not convinced i will do better in which case it is probably better to find a way to accept things as they are and quit bitching.

 

[ataxia.girl]

He is in charge of your feelings.

That's certainly not the party line. While i often say i can't control my feelings, only my behavior, i have been told over and over that no one else is responsible for my feelings.

 

[bisolom]

****************************************************

 

[CutieMouse]

Pretty much.

There is also the factor of what else is out there. i'm not convinced i will do better in which case it is probably better to find a way to accept things as they are and quit bitching.

Making decisions about staying in relationship A based on what may or may not exist [re:future relationship B] is generally a bad idea. When you hit that point your head is usually already gone, and all that remains is the body.

Sometimes it isn't about "quit bitching", as much as looking at the pros/cons of things, and refocusing yourself (in whatever manner you need to be happy).

 

[bisolom]

*******************************************************

 

[CutieMouse]

That's certainly not the party line. While i often say i can't control my feelings, only my behavior, i have been told over and over that no one else is responsible for my feelings.

Dear, the whole master/sub relationship is outside the party line.
When you do not have a master you are responsible, but when you surrender your heart, mind, body and soul to your master...then the responsibility becomes his. It is just as difficult if not more so to be a master.

Bullshit.

As adults, we are always responsible for our feelings and behavior. Being submissive does not absolve one of that responsibility.

 

[bisolom]

***********************************************

 

[ataxia.girl]

Making decisions about staying in relationship A based on what may or may not exist [re:future relationship B] is generally a bad idea. When you hit that point your head is usually already gone, and all that remains is the body.

Sometimes it isn't about "quit bitching", as much as looking at the pros/cons of things, and refocusing yourself (in whatever manner you need to be happy).

Its difficult in our dynamic. The psychological and emotional entanglements of ageplay run deep. i will probably frustrate everyone here because although i sound very adult when it comes down to it this is all a tantrum about being forgotten somewhere and will most likely disappear when i am in his arms again and everyone will go WTF???

i feel my Daddy's treatment or non treatment of me from the perspective of a child but i critique it from the perspective of an adult. i have not been able to trust him enough to turn the adult off and when these incidents happen it frustrates me because it makes it harder to do what i want which is to simply remove the adult from the relationship. He has not given me reason to believe anything terrible would happen other than i might be dirtier than the other kids, my hair will be tangled a lot and i might have to wait an extra long time to be picked up sometimes.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Bullshit.

As adults, we are always responsible for our feelings and behavior. Being submissive does not absolve one of that responsibility.

Yea that's what i think to. Actually even children have to learn at an early age how to cope with and manage their feelings. We may not be able to control how we feel but it doesn't mean they aren't ours to manage and deal with.

 

[CutieMouse]

If someone you love spits in your face, if a family member dies, if your lover has just given you the greatest orgasm of your life, you have to deal with the feelings; but surely having them was out of your control.

Perhaps we are discussing two entirely different concepts, here, and I'm simply misunderstanding you. The original exhcange:

He is in charge of your feelings. If you feel this way, he has failed to appreciate the magnitude of your gift and by definition, I personally don't think he loves you. I'm sorry little one for being so cruel. Does a man take a gift precious to him and throw it in a corner gathering dust? Does he let that gift get tarnished, scratched, and bruised? He cannot appreciate the gift if he does not appreciate you. True dominance is not about ego, abuse, and humiliation. Its about possession and control over someone you love. Everything a master does is to make his slave better and therefore happier. What master wants a worthless gift? A true master is particular about whose gift he receives and how he handles it.
The same offer I made in the previous post goes for you, too. If you want to talk to one of your own, I will give you her Lit name on a pm. Please do not waste her time.

Peace

That's certainly not the party line. While i often say i can't control my feelings, only my behavior, i have been told over and over that no one else is responsible for my feelings.

Dear, the whole master/sub relationship is outside the party line.
When you do not have a master you are responsible, but when you surrender your heart, mind, body and soul to your master...then the responsibility becomes his. It is just as difficult if not more so to be a master.

Then:

Bullshit.

As adults, we are always responsible for our feelings and behavior. Being submissive does not absolve one of that responsibility.

If someone you love spits in your face, if a family member dies, if your lover has just given you the greatest orgasm of your life, you have to deal with the feelings; but surely having them was out of your control.

Feelings simply are. What matters is what one does with them, which is always within one's control - regardless of relationship status, PYL/pyl status, whatever. That doesn't mean one will always make the right decision, but the buck stops here, as it were.

If a Lover spit in my face - depending on my mood, I could choose to end up hot as hell, or be pissed. It's my responsibility to decide which, based on the parameters of the moment. Regardless of my choice (and action taken) - I own it.

A family member dies - there will be grief. Depending on who the family member is, the grief will be for very different reasons, and my reaction to the news may not be textbook, but again - my responsibility.

Greatest orgasm of my life - we're great in bed together and he played me like a violin... lovely. And again - how I express my passion and appreciation is my responsibility, not his.

 

[nh23]

He is in charge of your feelings. If you feel this way, he has failed to appreciate the magnitude of your gift and by definition, I personally don't think he loves you. I'm sorry little one for being so cruel. Does a man take a gift precious to him and throw it in a corner gathering dust? Does he let that gift get tarnished, scratched, and bruised? He cannot appreciate the gift if he does not appreciate you. True dominance is not about ego, abuse, and humiliation. Its about possession and control over someone you love. Everything a master does is to make his slave better and therefore happier. What master wants a worthless gift? A true master is particular about whose gift he receives and how he handles it.
The same offer I made in the previous post goes for you, too. If you want to talk to one of your own, I will give ytou her Lit name on a pm. Please do not waste her time.

Peace

I call bullshit on the majority of this post. Sure someone can have a huge impact on our feelings, but we ourselves choose to allow this, and choose our own reactions.

I'm not even going to get started on the whole "gift" thing. Or the "true" thing.

We are submissives we submit. And if submitting means that Master decides not to call for a day or even a month then so be it. Saying that he doesn't love her is the biggest bit of bullshit in the entire post. Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't. But I certainly wouldn't judge that by an ignored phone call.

Sure in fantasy M/s, D/s is sunshine and puppies and everyone is always happy. But come on this is real life. If Master does everything his pyl wants..if his every action is to make her happy..then where the hell is the D/s.

From your posts on this thread I really get the feeling that your idea of how a D/s dynamic works is based on fantasy. I live this 24/7 so I tend to have a totally different outlook on things.

And I realize at this point my entire post may not make any sense. My thoughts are a bit schizophrenic at the moment.

 

[bisolom]

I call bullshit on the majority of this post. Sure someone can have a huge impact on our feelings, but we ourselves choose to allow this, and choose our own reactions.

I'm not even going to get started on the whole "gift" thing. Or the "true" thing.

We are submissives we submit. And if submitting means that Master decides not to call for a day or even a month then so be it. Saying that he doesn't love her is the biggest bit of bullshit in the entire post. Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't. But I certainly wouldn't judge that by an ignored phone call.

Sure in fantasy M/s, D/s is sunshine and puppies and everyone is always happy. But come on this is real life. If Master does everything his pyl wants..if his every action is to make her happy..then where the hell is the D/s.

From your posts on this thread I really get the feeling that your idea of how a D/s dynamic works is based on fantasy. I live this 24/7 so I tend to have a totally different outlook on things.

And I realize at this point my entire post may not make any sense. My thoughts are a bit schizophrenic at the moment.

Fuck it! I should know better than to waste my time.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Turns out Daddy was in a place where he couldn't keep his phone on, probably with a lady friend. He won't really talk about the women he sees to me at all cuz i would probably just get fixated on it and get all insecure. Sometimes i wish he would tell me about them because it kinda makes me tingly down there thinking about it but i think he's probably right i'd get fixated and worry myself, especially if i knew he saw the same one over and over. He is single so still looking for the right mommy.

Yeah... he shoulda prepped me but he's kind of a caveman and that's just not his style and its not ever going to be. i can deal with it.

Anyway... drama over. Looking forward to a nice bubble bath with Daddy tomorrow. Tired.

i'll be putting on an encore performance next weekend. Hubby will be out of town on a little break of his own so i will once again be home alone with the vodka and excessive amounts of ex-cult baggage.

 

[intrepid_romy]

i'd still have that quiet nagging doubt that i am just not worth remembering or doing anything but the very minimum about.

Have you told him how important this type of contact is to you, so that he really understands what he's putting you through? Maybe he's just sleepy and oblivious. It might be time for a reminder about his responsabilities in your relationship.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Have you told him how important this type of contact is to you, so that he really understands what he's putting you through? Maybe he's just sleepy and oblivious. It might be time for a reminder about his responsabilities in your relationship.

Yep... i have no problem opening my mouth. i don't keep anything from him.

Part of it is just a disconnect between the mediums with which we choose to communicate and consume. i'm very plugged in. He's not. This particular instance was just bad timing and circumstance but if the problem wasn't already there i doubt it would have bothered me as much. i don't know... i tend to doubt myself. i want to trust his judgment but there is still doubt.

i think\feel in shorter intervals. His perspective is generally framed by a longer time frame. Daddy's never going to get bent out of shape about "last night". It's one night. He's never going to get bent out of shape about me being freaked out about this or that event.

But yeah... eventually, if it just keeps dragging on and recurring it has to matter right?

 

[incubus'_sub]

to be honest i think you get bent out of shape about just about everything. in my experience with doms most of them would find you just too much hard work.

 

[ataxia.girl]

to be honest i think you get bent out of shape about just about everything. in my experience with doms most of them would find you just too much hard work.

Depends what their goal was i guess. If they had an expectation i should be happy, content and not upset most of the time then yes they would feel like i was hard work. my Daddy's thing gets hard when i get really mad, like for real mad.

The fun thing about being little is sometimes you lose your temper or get very upset but then 5 minutes later you're on cloud nine. So long as your Daddy knows how a little girl is i think is not as hard of work as you think. my Daddy is very much bigger and stronger than me. Is not so hard for him to make me behave when it feels to hard for me to behave by myself.

Anyway i am not a sub so i dun really care if a lot of "doms" would find me "just too much hard work". i find most of them boring as all get out with all their SSC shit *yawn*