Masterbating in bed next to your partner while they are asleep

You said: "I’ve been the sleeping person who wakes up to their partner jerking off in bed. Since we never had those discussions, it was jarring and uncomfortable". So, it was multiple times? Did you tell him not to do it?

I'm all about consent, in sexual touching, but it’s his bed too, so, is the difference that you woke up when he was doing it? Even though he didn't even touch you (grab your ass).

You said: "I also have a friend who broke up with her boyfriend because he sexually assaulted her and she said he also used to jerk off in bed when she was sleeping and before he came, he’d grab her ass and that would wake her up."

You said "he used to", which sounds like multiple times. Did she tell him not to do it?

You said: "You can’t lean up against someone on the subway and jerkoff under your trench coat without their knowledge".

That's valid. You have not been intimate with that person on the subway, so there's absolutely no expectation of consent; however, if you've been intimate with your partner, there's an expectation that you would be open to unexpected sexual advances.

Yes, women must consent to sexual acts, even from their partners. Unfortunately, most men are disappointed with how their partners turn on and off their sexuality. So, just as your girlfriend did, you, and those women who are disturbed with their partners attempts at initiating sexual contact, by waking them up, should leave the relationship.

You said: "Don’t do it to your sleeping spouse. Literally go into any other room of your house".

Thanks for your PSA.

You said: "Do you like putting words in my mouth because of your own misunderstandings and rage from my post about consent? Yep."

I don't misunderstand "consent" and I do not rage. We both expressed opinions that were actually unsolicited by the original post. Mine, because I responded to your outrage regarding what happened to you and your friend.

This site is, and the original post, was placed to solicit responses that appeal to the prudent interests of those of us who visit it and read this drivel. It's mostly because our sexual lives do not live up to our expectations.

I apologize for picking out you post to respond to.

Like Quote Reply

There are some angry people on Lit that like to argue and throw around words like "misogyny" and "rape-y" when they can't argue effectively. Your breakdown sounds sensible.
 
There are some angry people on Lit that like to argue and throw around words like "misogyny" and "rape-y" when they can't argue effectively. Your breakdown sounds sensible.
Totally. That’s how everyone describes me: angry.

My original post summed up was:
- I’ve experienced this and didn’t like it
- a friend experienced it and didn’t like it and her ex boyfriend had escalating behaviour
-you wouldn’t do it to a stranger because it’s a crime
-so I hope you’re having a conversation about it before you do it or if you have an urge go elsewhere until you can talk about it.

Look at all my anger.

The response I received from @CuriousinPennsylvania included:
- calling me sexually immature and uninformed
-that men have stronger libidos than woman
- that (in their opinion) a partner is allowed to grab and touch you when they are masturbating, even in the circumstance that they are unconscious because you are already in the same bed and you’re in a relationship so you’ve previously agreed to the “premise” of sexual touching
- that it’s basically the same thing as cuddling and getting aroused
- when men are hard, their cocks need to release sexual tension and *we either "jerk off" or "sexually assault" our un(in)consenting person by attempting to "enter" her.*

I put out a plea to have conversation and received a personal insult, minimization of my experiences and told men “have needs”. So don’t come at me for being some angry person without an argument. It never should have been an argument. I was expressing myself the way others have, it was just that some people didn’t like what I had expressed.
 
Totally. That’s how everyone describes me: angry.

My original post summed up was:
- I’ve experienced this and didn’t like it
- a friend experienced it and didn’t like it and her ex boyfriend had escalating behaviour
-you wouldn’t do it to a stranger because it’s a crime
-so I hope you’re having a conversation about it before you do it or if you have an urge go elsewhere until you can talk about it.

Look at all my anger.

The response I received from @CuriousinPennsylvania included:
- calling me sexually immature and uninformed
-that men have stronger libidos than woman
- that (in their opinion) a partner is allowed to grab and touch you when they are masturbating, even in the circumstance that they are unconscious because you are already in the same bed and you’re in a relationship so you’ve previously agreed to the “premise” of sexual touching
- that it’s basically the same thing as cuddling and getting aroused
- when men are hard, their cocks need to release sexual tension and *we either "jerk off" or "sexually assault" our un(in)consenting person by attempting to "enter" her.*

I put out a plea to have conversation and received a personal insult, minimization of my experiences and told men “have needs”. So don’t come at me for being some angry person without an argument. It never should have been an argument. I was expressing myself the way others have, it was just that some people didn’t like what I had expressed.

OK!
 
The last year I lived with my ex, I did it almost nightly.
Several orgasms.

Usually while i was chatting with a sexy guy or two from this site.

I had a towel tucked beside me bed in case I squirted.

If you masturbated with me at night, knowing my hubby was 2 feet away...
Raise your hand. Not the one on your cock. The other one.
 
The last year I lived with my ex, I did it almost nightly.
Several orgasms.

Usually while i was chatting with a sexy guy or two from this site.

I had a towel tucked beside me bed in case I squirted.

If you masturbated with me at night, knowing my hubby was 2 feet away...
Raise your hand. Not the one on your cock. The other one.
I wish I had!
 
One of my hottest fantasies (that has actually come true a few times) is me waking up to my wife pleasuring herself. I pretend to stay asleep, though. It's so hot. One time she went at it so hard the bed started rocking. I nearly came just laying there. I think as someone above mentioned, it's the desperation for an orgasm that is so hot...but only one she can give herself.
 
The last year I lived with my ex, I did it almost nightly.
Several orgasms.

Usually while i was chatting with a sexy guy or two from this site.

I had a towel tucked beside me bed in case I squirted.

If you masturbated with me at night, knowing my hubby was 2 feet away...
Raise your hand. Not the one on your cock. The other one.

I did not, but I wish I had. That is wonderful.
 
She was completely out of it around 5am this morning and slept right through it, bless her 🤣

I had my usual morning wood, got the coconut oil, pulled my panties down and masturbated really hard and loud next to her, with lots of moaning as I approached orgasm and slippery slapping noises from my hand wanking my shaft. I felt the cum erupt all over my chest and stomach as I fucked my hand.
 
I've never actually done this, although I've been very fortunate over the years to have dated and married women who didn't mind me just jerking off whenever I felt like it around home. Never interfered with our sex lives, just did it when they were otherwise occupied or not in the mood. But I remember one night with my ex-wife, then fiancée, I think. We were going to sleep, hadn't had sex. So we're laying there in the dark and after about five minutes, she rolls over and asks me if I'm jerking off. I laughed and said no, my heart just pounds really hard when I'm worried about something (used to have chronic anxiety). She was like, "No way, the whole bed is shaking!" I just put her hand on my chest to let her feel my heartbeat. She just shook her head in amazement.
 
Back
Top