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Masturbating women.

CDsuzie69 said:
A question for m or f.
Do you get turned on by watching women masturbating?
Click to expand...
Absolutely, but I have noticed, when I am there, women have preferred not to masturbate and to just focus on us having sex.

I would actually like it if she allowed me to watch, while she does what she usually does, with dildos or vibrators so I can learn exactly how she likes to be pleasured, so that I can join her and hold the dildos and vibrators the same way, press against the right spots, while I assist with oral stimulation or other digital stimulation.

I feel that watching her masturbate would help me be a better lover. I must remember, in the next long term relationship I am in, to ask her if she would please allow me to watch her and pretend I am not there, so I can see exactly what she wants to do to herself.

I would offer to return the favor and masturbate in front of her, if she wants.
 
ChloeOfCascadia said:
Absolutely, but I have noticed, when I am there, women have preferred not to masturbate and to just focus on us having sex.

I would actually like it if she allowed me to watch, while she does what she usually does, with dildos or vibrators so I can learn exactly how she likes to be pleasured, so that I can join her and hold the dildos and vibrators the same way, press against the right spots, while I assist with oral stimulation or other digital stimulation.

I feel that watching her masturbate would help me be a better lover. I must remember, in the next long term relationship I am in, to ask her if she would please allow me to watch her and pretend I am not there, so I can see exactly what she wants to do to herself.

I would offer to return the favor and masturbate in front of her, if she wants.
Click to expand...

I've always found it fun to engage in masturbation in the early goings as well. Sometimes people are more free when they don't know each other well.
 
YourSecretDesires said:
I've always found it fun to engage in masturbation in the early goings as well. Sometimes people are more free when they don't know each other well.
Click to expand...
I would concur with the bolded-

I think when the relationship is still a blank canvas and you're meeting up for the excitement of sex, it can be easier for folks to focus on their own needs, and their partner is more receptive to doing whatever it takes to capture their new love's attention.

I know that later in a relationship, often times, we feel settled, the chase is gone, we both know that if we simply stick to the routine, the other person is most likely to stay.

Why rock the boat?

Well.... I am afraid that sometimes relationships fade and unmet needs bubble to the surface. I have many unmet needs from my past 20 years of relationships, exclusively with one woman, then a different one.

I have not had a chance to explore them and that's the best years of my adult life, most of my youth. I'm not old yet but I want the next relationship that I have to be as passionate and meet as many of mine and my partner's sexual desires as possible.

I thought being here on Literotica would help me meet someone compatible. I will keep up the search.

I feel if a woman is comfortable with performing masturbation in front of me, she will be more open about what she wants, and what she needs, the ways in which she has orgasms, the things she fantasizes about in order to cum.

If I can watch and listen to her describe all that and also, watch her masturbate, maybe I can be the one who meets all her sexual needs that she can get from one person.

I must also admit, I am a little afraid of asking for this, or offering to simply masturbate in front of someone, because... I am wanting for us to get closer together, and in my experience, you do that by touching each other, feeling each other's bodies, cumming on and inside each other's bodies.

Still.... I think this is worth a try. Will discuss.
 
ChloeOfCascadia said:
I would concur with the bolded-

I think when the relationship is still a blank canvas and you're meeting up for the excitement of sex, it can be easier for folks to focus on their own needs, and their partner is more receptive to doing whatever it takes to capture their new love's attention.

I know that later in a relationship, often times, we feel settled, the chase is gone, we both know that if we simply stick to the routine, the other person is most likely to stay.

Why rock the boat?

Well.... I am afraid that sometimes relationships fade and unmet needs bubble to the surface. I have many unmet needs from my past 20 years of relationships, exclusively with one woman, then a different one.

I have not had a chance to explore them and that's the best years of my adult life, most of my youth. I'm not old yet but I want the next relationship that I have to be as passionate and meet as many of mine and my partner's sexual desires as possible.

I thought being here on Literotica would help me meet someone compatible. I will keep up the search.

I feel if a woman is comfortable with performing masturbation in front of me, she will be more open about what she wants, and what she needs, the ways in which she has orgasms, the things she fantasizes about in order to cum.

If I can watch and listen to her describe all that and also, watch her masturbate, maybe I can be the one who meets all her sexual needs that she can get from one person.

I must also admit, I am a little afraid of asking for this, or offering to simply masturbate in front of someone, because... I am wanting for us to get closer together, and in my experience, you do that by touching each other, feeling each other's bodies, cumming on and inside each other's bodies.

Still.... I think this is worth a try. Will discuss.
Click to expand...

How old are you?

Anyway IME there are so many factors that play into this.

I have an ex who was very sexually charged but also kind of toxic and jealous. So there was great stuff like masturbating and some tying up and role play but she also was just difficult to deal with.

Current woman is fantastic but she doesn't have many wild kinks, at least that she's willing to express. She says that's just how she is. She likes straight up sex. We've done some stuff like on-cam and foursome (no swapping). Our sex IS great though.

I think early on if you tap into a woman's psyche she'll really express herself to you. The mind is the ultimate erogenous zone. On a one night stand even, it's more fun to talk and explore a bit IME. Many times after a ONS, the next morning I've been horny and started casually playing with myself. The woman would be a little surprised at first but then say "well I've never really watched a guy do that" and be fixated. Or join in.
 
YourSecretDesires said:
How old are you?
Click to expand...

I am 42.

And I look like I'm 32. I get that from my dad.

Anyway IME there are so many factors that play into this.

I have an ex who was very sexually charged but also kind of toxic and jealous. So there was great stuff like masturbating and some tying up and role play but she also was just difficult to deal with.
Click to expand...

Mmmm mmmm mmm. Nope nope nope. I can't do toxic.

Even when I was younger and thought I'd never end up in bed with a woman, or had only done it a few times, I always drew a line at toxic, aggressive, unpleasant, abusive behavior. No physical abuse, no emotional abuse, no psychological abuse.

No passive aggression, no gaslighting, no undermining of confidence, none of that. No yelling, no threatening. If you can't talk to your partner like you actually care for them, trust them, and as if they are listening to you and taking you seriously, then the relationship doesn't work for me.

I've almost exclusively had non toxic relationships so, saying no to the one person who was ever toxic to me, I only wasted a week of my life with that person.

I am firmly in the camp that there's no time for toxic people. Being alone is superior by far.

However, I've also therefore experienced GOOD relationships and being in one of those is.... a dream. I miss it.

Current woman is fantastic but she doesn't have many wild kinks, at least that she's willing to express. She says that's just how she is. She likes straight up sex. We've done some stuff like on-cam and foursome (no swapping). Our sex IS great though.
Click to expand...

I have a lot of kinks but they're not deal breakers if my lady love isn't interested.

They are there in case we share a desire, I can help her fulfill hers, because I am also interested.

There is also a lot I am willing to do or accept from a partner, that isn't necessarily for my benefit, as long as it doesn't hurt me and it makes her feel good.

I think that if you are both happy with your love life, it can be vanilla. That's still hot. I was just commenting this morning in a thread about simply having penis in vagina sex and cumming and how hot that can be.

It can be vanilla and still be wild as hell.

I think early on if you tap into a woman's psyche she'll really express herself to you. The mind is the ultimate erogenous zone.
Click to expand...

Oh, absolutely. I'm on here because I read some very spicy erotic fiction in my youth, and, I am attracted to people who view sex as more than a five or fifteen minute affair where they cum once, in a familiar way, and then they're just done.

I want someone who has deep, passionate needs, and views sex as an art, or like making music, the more creative you are and the more passionate you are, and the more you give of yourself and your efforts and your mind and your body to this one affair, you can make your partner even happier, and you can reach heights of pleasure that other people fail to even imagine.

The mind is the sexiest organ.

Although, I have noticed, people seem to have shorter attention spans and few people I engage with are willing to write a detailed fantasy or even a wall of text replying to one of my own.

I am a wordy person but one would think by now I'd have seen a lot more folks like me, willing to be detailed and imaginative.

I'm reading threads from 10 years ago and finding the occasional nugget of gold, but, mostly, I see people writing short sentences and not really engaging their minds even when discussing topics they love.

Maybe I'm just too old, maybe writing is no longer fashionable.

Shame.... I don't know a better way to convey a deep detailed passionate sexual fantasy to someone than with the written word.

That can be very hot. People are missing out.

On a one night stand even, it's more fun to talk and explore a bit IME. Many times after a ONS, the next morning I've been horny and started casually playing with myself. The woman would be a little surprised at first but then say "well I've never really watched a guy do that" and be fixated. Or join in.
Click to expand...

That's good. I feel that women should feel comfortable to view anything they want to, and learn as much as they feel they want to, and be able to experience every sexual desire they are comfortable with.

Our society tends to make them feel shame about it and avoid it.

I try to explain to my partner very seriously, at most, I will say no to something she suggests and do it kindly and say, I am so happy you shared that fantasy with me, it isn't to my taste, so I wouldn't be able to help you with it, but I am glad you feel liberated and safe enough to share.

Or, same sentiments and fewer words.
 
ChloeOfCascadia said:
I am 42.

And I look like I'm 32. I get that from my dad.



Mmmm mmmm mmm. Nope nope nope. I can't do toxic.

Even when I was younger and thought I'd never end up in bed with a woman, or had only done it a few times, I always drew a line at toxic, aggressive, unpleasant, abusive behavior. No physical abuse, no emotional abuse, no psychological abuse.

No passive aggression, no gaslighting, no undermining of confidence, none of that. No yelling, no threatening. If you can't talk to your partner like you actually care for them, trust them, and as if they are listening to you and taking you seriously, then the relationship doesn't work for me.

I've almost exclusively had non toxic relationships so, saying no to the one person who was ever toxic to me, I only wasted a week of my life with that person.

I am firmly in the camp that there's no time for toxic people. Being alone is superior by far.

However, I've also therefore experienced GOOD relationships and being in one of those is.... a dream. I miss it.



I have a lot of kinks but they're not deal breakers if my lady love isn't interested.

They are there in case we share a desire, I can help her fulfill hers, because I am also interested.

There is also a lot I am willing to do or accept from a partner, that isn't necessarily for my benefit, as long as it doesn't hurt me and it makes her feel good.

I think that if you are both happy with your love life, it can be vanilla. That's still hot. I was just commenting this morning in a thread about simply having penis in vagina sex and cumming and how hot that can be.

It can be vanilla and still be wild as hell.



Oh, absolutely. I'm on here because I read some very spicy erotic fiction in my youth, and, I am attracted to people who view sex as more than a five or fifteen minute affair where they cum once, in a familiar way, and then they're just done.

I want someone who has deep, passionate needs, and views sex as an art, or like making music, the more creative you are and the more passionate you are, and the more you give of yourself and your efforts and your mind and your body to this one affair, you can make your partner even happier, and you can reach heights of pleasure that other people fail to even imagine.

The mind is the sexiest organ.

Although, I have noticed, people seem to have shorter attention spans and few people I engage with are willing to write a detailed fantasy or even a wall of text replying to one of my own.

I am a wordy person but one would think by now I'd have seen a lot more folks like me, willing to be detailed and imaginative.

I'm reading threads from 10 years ago and finding the occasional nugget of gold, but, mostly, I see people writing short sentences and not really engaging their minds even when discussing topics they love.

Maybe I'm just too old, maybe writing is no longer fashionable.

Shame.... I don't know a better way to convey a deep detailed passionate sexual fantasy to someone than with the written word.

That can be very hot. People are missing out.



That's good. I feel that women should feel comfortable to view anything they want to, and learn as much as they feel they want to, and be able to experience every sexual desire they are comfortable with.

Our society tends to make them feel shame about it and avoid it.

I try to explain to my partner very seriously, at most, I will say no to something she suggests and do it kindly and say, I am so happy you shared that fantasy with me, it isn't to my taste, so I wouldn't be able to help you with it, but I am glad you feel liberated and safe enough to share.

Or, same sentiments and fewer words.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you have a healthy attitude. 42 is a good place to be, especially if you look young, stay fit, and have a mature presence. Younger women love that vibe. I'm pushing 50 and I still vibe with 20 somethings (though under 25 looks too young to me anymore).
 
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