AngelicaS1780
Oldest & Wittiest
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2018
- Posts
- 11,068
Not much longer now.
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I am little.
A part of me always knew, but it became more apparent when a man asked me to call him “Daddy” and I did some introspection. I’m a naturally submissive person. I have always been comfortable in that box, a natural follower when dancing, and in the bedroom. I never take the lead in relationships.
I hesitated. No, what I did wasn’t hesitation... I refused. I couldn’t call someone “Daddy.” It didn’t make sense. I had a pretty damn good relationship with my father. I have zero “Daddy issues” to speak of. I was a model daughter. I don’t get off to the thought of incest (Why the fuck would I want to do those things with family?). I just don’t get that particular taboo... so yeah... In complete denial of what a Daddy/little relationship meant, I said “no thank you” to calling a lover “Daddy.”
Then I read. And I fell further (read: deep) with that guy... and I knew he still wanted it, so I devoured anything that dealt with DD/lg... and it made sense. I found myself identifying with so many things said by other littles. I saw so many of my thoughts reflecting in their writings. I saw things that Daddies were saying about their littles and I wanted that. I started to see characteristics in myself that were so obviously little.
So how did I miss it for so long?! I know how: I didn’t completely identify with all the typical characteristics people associate with being a little.
The things I don’t like that lay people associate with littles:
- I am not a fan of being called “baby” or “babe.” It doesn’t feel right and actually makes me cringe sometimes. I don’t know why, as I am not opposed to most other “pet” names (I adore being called ‘kitten’ by certain people) or even others calling their SO ‘baby’... but me? I’m not a baby, so don’t call me one. (Note: I’ve started to warm to ‘babygirl,’ but I’m still only going to be okay with that in the absolutely right situations...)
- It isn’t with all littles, but I just want it known that I have no desire to drink from a sippy or bottle, wear a nappy/diaper, or suck a binky. Nope. Not gonna even go near that.
- I don’t dress like a little (except my panties and bra, which I tend to choose cute pastels or with bows because I like the esthetic). I tend to gravitate toward clothing items that feel odd to other people. My favorite clothing item is an oversized, multicoloured, 80’s cotton sweater. I wear it almost too much. I love strange 80s & 90s-looking sweaters. So. Very. Much. I have a half ton of them and if I can get away with wearing one, I will. Yes, I also wear dresses... but they are not traditionally “cutesy.” I like black.
- I hate “baby talk.” There is no place for it in my life. I don’t even talk like that to children, so why would I to someone I care about just because we’re intimate? It will definitely drive me insane if you try to use “baby talk” in text form. Here is an actual text I received (a long time ago) as an example of what drives me nuts: “Me too bby gurl- ur adorbs!!” Can I buy a few vowels for this guy? Such a turn off for me to read something like this from a grown man.
But there were a lot of things I was reading that made sense and I could attribute to my little-ness:
- I am needy. Greedy. I don’t share my things well, which is a bit silly coming from someone who is ethically non-monogamous like I am, but it’s true. I’m weird like that.
- I am so impatient that I often make others upset with my constant pressuring for things to go at my pace. I think that while I want some things immediately (do not hold out on me... if I’m close to cumming and you stop what you’re doing, I will look at you and probably throw a fit), there are also things that take time for me to become okay with the idea of. This fits into the whole “I have a hard time with change” thing that I also talk about a little later.
- I whine and pout if things don’t go my way. I’m not perfect, it’s just the way I feel I need to express myself sometimes. I want things easy (and quickly) without complications whenever possible. I like things very straightforward and spelled out.
- I do enjoy activities like swinging on a playground, colouring, playing dress ups, collecting colourful stickers, and snuggling/cuddling (yes even with my stuffies) that are sometimes not age appropriate for a 30-something. I have a child, so I sometimes can get away with these activities without too many strange looks.
- I need structure to my life/routine because I read into and over analyze EVERYTHING. If someone I care about doesn’t answer a text or say “good morning” or “good night” in their way, I will think that they don’t like me anymore and I will get really upset, introspective, and spiraling... A part of me will know I am being irrational, but it will be outweighed by the part of me that will go through every interaction with them from the last few days to figure out what I did wrong to make them unhappy. So, in order to mitigate the overreacting that inherently happens when I over-analyze things, I need to have some basic idea of what to expect from the people I care about. The ones who know this about me do a decent job of telling me when their work schedule changes or when they are unavailable for some reason so that I don’t start feeling abandoned. Similarly to this concept of needing routine, I also do not fair well with big changes and may never do something no matter how much I know it will be good for me, because I perceive it as too big of a change.
- I need rules to follow and consequences for when I break them, or I will not follow any rules ever and may be unsafe. I follow a set of rules. The rules. Mostly they are about taking care of myself and how to treat others. Some are specific and others are rather general. For example, one of my rules is to not argue about my value. I know that I am not worthless, but at times I get the feeling that I am human garbage (don’t we all?). Now I can look at the rules and say to myself that if someone says I’m worth it, I must be.
- I cannot be told or shown enough about how much someone cares about me. I’m going to make a distinction here and say there is a difference between compliments and affections. Compliments make me uncomfortable... I don’t deserve them... they’re nice, but their not as necessary as reminders of affection and sweet thoughts. I need such doting upon because otherwise I will start to believe the people I care for no longer reciprocate, and will get upset and act out for their attention. I know, we’re not all perfect and if you’re aware of your flaws sometimes it is easier to face them.
I’ve been ruminating on these other things about me that might have some aspect about them that fits my little-ness:
- I am lazy. I would much rather read a book or watch a movie than clean or do chores. I do the “adult” things because I if I didn’t, they wouldn’t get done... but that is the only reason why.
- I avoid confrontation. I don’t like people being angry in general or with me, so I usually just avoid them or the situation that would cause it. This often means I will do something I don’t want to longer than is healthy to appease other people.
- I am creative and like to do crafty things sometimes. I sew and can crochet. I also like to bake and try new recipes in the kitchen.
- I have a very active imagination. I can think about a situation and play it out in my head in such detail that I can almost believe it happened.
So, I broached the subject with that guy again... and, well... the power of words, right? Thanks to him, I found a “place” in my mind where I fit... a conversation starter... a way to describe myself... a label I just am.
I am a little girl.
I want him. We’ve only just met, but he’s so sexy with those gorgeous eyes that pierce my soul and make me want to let him use my body in ways unknown before. He isn’t from here. I can’t have him now, but someday I want to please him the way he deserves. Until then, I will wait. A patient, sly kitten. Always here.
Index for my pics and Musings:
My morning the last few days - Musing
Reminiscing - Musing
The Kiss or the Touch? 1
The Kiss or the Touch? 2 - Musing
Those Eyes - Musing
Happily Surprised - Musing
Never Enough Time - Musing
Wet 1
Wet 2 - Musing
Treasures - Musing
Married - Musing
Immeasurable - Musing
Nothing Good After 2 am - Musing
Speed - Musing
Why - Musing
Invincible - Musing
Enjoy the Moment - Musing
Bowie 1
Bowie 2 - Musing
Barefoot - Musing
Waterworld - Musing
Lingerie - Musing
Things I Scream While Having Sex - Musing
When - Musing
I’ll Never be Boxed in - Musing
Love Songs - Musing
My Favorite - Musing
It’s Raining... Again 1
It’s Raining... Again 2 - Musing
I Shouldn’t, but I do - Musing
I Bruise Easily - Musing
ch-ch-ch-ch-changes 1
ch-ch-ch-ch-changes 2 - Musing
Flirting - Musing
Playful - Musing
Hot Tramp 1
Hot Tramp 2 - Musing
Strong Hand - Musing
Modern Love - Musing
And the Stars Look Very Different Today - Musing
Coming Out of Left Field - Musing
I’m Gonna Have a Fantasy, but Where am I Gonna Look? - Musing
Keep Coming up with Love but it’s so Slashed and Torn - Musing
Look up here, I’m in heaven/ I’ve got scars that can’t be seen 1
Look up here, I’m in heaven/ I’ve got scars that can’t be seen 2 - Musing
I only smile in the dark. My only comfort is the night gone black. - Musing
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules. But baby, I broke them all for you 1
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules. But baby, I broke them all for you 2 - Musing
It’s really nice to hear your voice saying my name it sounds so sweet - Musing
What a pain in my ______! - Musing
When I looked in her eyes, they were blue but nobody home - Musing
You're the only woman Who has ever truly been my favorite. You’re my favorite little girl. - Musing
You’ve got scars on your body and your soul - Musing
I play with this kitty like you play with your guitar - Musing
Don’t let me know when you’re opening the door. Strap me in the dark, let me disappear - Musing
Been down one time. Been down two times. Never going back again. 1
Been down one time. Been down two times. Never going back again. 2 - Musing
This is how an angel cries. Blame it on my own sick pride. Blame it on my ADD, Baby. - Musing
Malt liquor on your breath my my. I love you and I don’t know why. - Musing
Something happens when I hold him: he keeps my heart from getting broken. - Musing
A moment, a love, A dream aloud, A kiss, a cry, Our rights, Our wrongs 1
A moment, a love, A dream aloud, A kiss, a cry, Our rights, Our wrongs 2 - Musing
We drove to Cali And got drunk on the beach Got a motel n’ Built a fort out of sheets 1
We drove to Cali And got drunk on the beach Got a motel n’ Built a fort out of sheets 2 - Musing
My church offers no absolutes She tells me ‘worship in the bedroom’ 1
My church offers no absolutes She tells me ‘worship in the bedroom’ 2 - Musing
All the way from Washington Her bread-winner begs off the bathroom floor 1
All the way from Washington Her bread-winner begs off the bathroom floor 2 - Musing
’Cause I just can’t look it’s killing me And taking control 1
’Cause I just can’t look it’s killing me And taking control 2 -
Musing
Toes to appease toeskr
If I could fly, Then I would know...What life looks like from up above and down below - Musing
Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes - Musing
Post 1000!!! (No picture) - Musing
You told me you were good at running away. - Musing
Life's too short to even care at all, oh. - Musing
Don’t let the sun blast your shadow - Musing
Yes I know that love is like ghosts - Musing
Hold on darling. This body is yours. This body is yours and mine. - Musing
We Become silhouettes - Musing
Hey pretty Don’t you wanna take a ride with me, Through my world? - 1
Hey pretty Don’t you wanna take a ride with me, Through my world? - 2 - Musing
She kissed me like a whiskey... - Musing
The girl can’t help it, she needs more - Musing
Bound for the Floor - Musing
Karaoke - 1
Karaoke - 2 - Artists, Songs and Lyrics
Rambling about the power of words - Musing
** Intermission (also known as a much needed break from this place) **
Hostage - 1
Hostage - 2
Hostage - 3 - Musing
My Silly Thoughts in a Darkness of Delivered But Not Read - Musing
Bite me - Musing
Porn over bourbon musings
Siblings - Musing
Dreams - Musing
Flogging Moochie - Musing
Young and Naive
Middle and meh
Now and wow - Let’s talk about my Health, Baby!
Panty Dance Explosion 1
Panty Dance Explosion 2
Panty Dance Explosion 3
Panty Dance Explosion 4
I deleted my Fire-Crotch app - Musing
Daddy’s little slut part 1 - Musing
Daddy’s little slut part 2 - Musing
Daddy’s little slut part 3 - Musing
Daddy’s little slut - the end Musing
Panty dance explosion 5
Panty dance explosion 6
Panty dance explosion 7
Panty dance explosion 8
Kissing you - Musing
Procrastination - Musing
Denial: not just a river in Egypt - Musing
Fishnet dress-up 1
Fishnet dress-up 2
Fishnet dress-up 3
Fishnet dress-up 4 - Musing
Rope lab - Musing
Unwinding - Musing
I just want to fuck. - Musing
Thong Thursday
Seductive Saturday - Musing
Gold star for the winner
Shyguy reply
I am a little girl - Musing
My Jewelry
Fuck off, I’m Colouring
Electricity, when you play with me -
Musing
Thong Thursday
Bum cheeks
Dressed to the nines - Musing
Placating Boobs - Replies about dealing with unwanted “compliments”
Onesie - Discussion topic
Kikin’ my arse - Musing
Snuggles lab - The perfect cuddle explained
Adventures in Dating a Moochie - Musing
Go fuck yourself
Inspired - Good Bye
Good night
Consolation smile
I could just taste you - part 1 - Musing
I could just taste you - part 2 - Musing
Today - Picture and Musing
Phone sex - Musing
Alternative new Av
Manni 1
Manni 2 - Musing
Sweater Weather - Picture and Musing
Be Awesome Today
Your words from me - Musing
My master is me - Musing
Loom - Musing
That little black number
Placating bum
Placating band t-shirt
Oceans - Musing
Serious question - Riddle me this?!
More onesie
Undressing You - Musing
He does my thinking
Asking Bun-Bun
Sleeping off my disappointment
Work-cation day 1 - Musing
Anything you can do...
Slow blink - Musing
Reflecting before a busy day
Anniversary smile
My dance bum
Our connection - Musing
Artsy shit - Musing
This is not a black and white world (colour)
The beauty of gray (B&W) - Musing
My “Poetry” that doesn’t have pics
Dark
Fear and Sadness
Leaving her behind
The torture of sound
When am I?
Embrace
”It’s not working for me anymore”
A New Year’s Kiss
Hierarchy
Because Pi
Confessions
KNow thyself
Odd Thoughts before bed
Resonating
A list of things
Where I live
Split apart
Thinking of you
Am I Intimidating?
Questioning my Worth
Thinking of you 2
That feeling...
Her
Distraction
Grin and Bare it
Again.
Singular
See me.
I missed it
90 seconds
Cupcake
Dancing to a heartbeat
In the almost dark
When you say... the F-word...
Really Nothing Special
Lit as therapy
Sleep
Another Morning
Run away
Opposites attract
He already knows
Delicate transformation
My dark thoughts
The. Fucking. End.
In bed with you
I’ll bug you no more
Hodgepodge
Thoughts as I try to sleep for one more hour
This is super embarrassing, but I’m just going to come out and say it: I’m terrible at phone sex. Like, so bad I don’t have a clue why people still try so hard to attempt it with me (or why He still likes to voice with me when we get too hot and heavy for sexting. I am so grateful He does, but still don’t know why).
I know, you think I’m crazy, right? How can a little girl like me, with such a command of language in text be anything but amazing at phone sex? Well, I’ve come to the realization that there are some inherent problems in how I enjoy the other person and my ability to process language and the pleasure together.
I rock the sexting game. I can roleplay an incredible sexual encounter with Him via messaging, finding just the right words to make both of us feel amazing. The problem comes when I have to vocalize my thoughts. He can articulate verbally all sorts of elaborate things about how he wants to see and feel me... but me? In return, I get all woogly hearing Him describe how He wants to bend me in half so He can spank and bite my ass to the point that I can’t put a fucking coherent sentence together past “oh Gods, I wanna... fuck yes” which I don’t know if that should even count.
I can be loud. Oh, I can get really boisterous sometimes on complete accident (I apologize often to my husband for waking him while he’s asleep upstairs and I’m phone chatting downstairs). I can’t, however, carry over my graphic, descriptive dirty talk from text to verbal.
Some of the things I *do* say while I phone sex:
Oh!
Fuck yes!
Mmmmm! Yes!
Oh god!
Oh god, yes!
YES
Fuck!
Oh I...
Fuck!
I’m so close!
Don’t stop...
Oh wow!
*whimpering*
mmmm...
Yes!
Uhhhh...
Fuuuucccckk...
I’m going to...
Yeah.
Yes.
Oh FUCK!
...
Can I cum?
Please?
Please?
Ohhhhh...
You get the picture. Not really anything as in-depth or sexy as it could be. Just enough to get my point across. No explicit explanation of how my body would react to His with thrusting hips and moistening lips. No descriptive language about how my tongue and throat would create the magical circumstances culminating in His hedonistic bliss. None of it. I can’t make it happen outside of my head. There is a complete disconnect between my brain and my mouth once I’ve started really enjoying the His voice, which is almost immediately... and as soon as He says the magical words? I’m lost to anything else.
To make matters worse, I usually forget to breathe when I’m cumming. Apparently this is hot when you’re actually sleeping with me... or maybe even on video (*looks at You* I’ve never asked about this, is it?... I mean, I can see how watching me writhe and turn colors while not making much of a noise could be quite amusing for You... and you say I sound amazing when I cum... but do you hear it? Or is it the absence of sound that makes it good?). The problem I have is, I can cum harder than a sheltered little Christian girl on prom night and I can do so without making a peep. I feel like I might as well be the silent partner on the other side of the phone collecting all the profits and producing nothing in reciprocity. I am unable to answer questions when I’m cumming, which can be pretty unnerving when it comes out of nowhere and takes me out of the conversation for a half a minute or longer.
An example of a portion of phone sex session:
Him: Now I stand above you. Seeing you there, I need you. I kneel between your thighs, holding your hips down with with my body weight, I lean down and kiss the inside of your right thigh. [beat] Don’t you move those hips, Kitten.
Me: mmmmm... yes.
Him: I kiss slowly to your center, slowly I press my tongue against your clit. Those hips, Kitten, don’t you move them as I make circles there with my tongue. Feel my groans on you there.
Me: oh, fuck! Mmmm... oh...
Him: My hands work around your hips and under your ass, bringing your delicious cunt closer, my tongue plunging into you.
Me: oh Daddy... I’m...
Him: You need to cum there, don’t you Kitten? On my tongue?
Me: ... [already cumming]
Him: Would you like that?
Me: ... [nodding and still cumming]
Him: Are you still there?
Me: ... [still unable to breathe]
Him: did... are you cumming and you didn’t ask first?
Me: [whimpering, breathy with all the thoughts] sorry... I... oh fuck, Daddy... I’m gonna... cum... again... may I? Please?
Yeah. I am really terrible at phone sex... but I look good in heels:
Hi Moochi, I found your MUSINGS Thread - thanks for the link. Wow, Girl, these are your first Musings? You were just as powerful then as you are now. This one, 'My Dark Thoughts', really hit home for me. Many times I've wondered these things about my life: 'What if I weren't?'... who would care? And this one: 'No one wants you. Never did.' (OK, tears starting again now)What if you weren’t?
What if you are a dream, imaginary and sublime but never realized?
What if you aren’t your words?
What if you’re more?
What if you are currently hurtling toward the earth from a fall?
What if you aren’t you anymore?
Do they even need you?
Do I?
No one does.
Forget them.
Who cares if you break as you hit the ground?
Who cares how many pieces you shatter into?
Take a hard look in the mirror.
Difficult to tell reality now, isn’t it?
No one wants you.
Never did.
This is just a truth:
You’re broken... and people throw away broken things.
Optimism says some could be fixits.
Maybe hope is a candle that should never be blown out.
Today it feels like the breeze is unstoppable
Like a hurricane force wind.
Try to shelter your candle.
Just today.
There’s always tomorrow.
Is it really the smartest idea to post nudes so freely on a, site where anybody can see them?