Arden
Un amor, Una verdad
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2002
- Posts
- 26,574
Excellent posts, blue kat and Evil Geoff...
There is no single reason why a Dominant would desire more than one submissive or slave. The internal force that drives them to seek the service of others varies as much as the vast array of colors in a giant box of crayons. Each color triggers within us certain mental images of things that we know well, yet they evoke different emotions. In my opinion, those that seek more than one submissive desire a more broad range of emotional experience.
Is the desire to have more than one submissive or slave related to the size of their ego? Maybe for some, but not all. Poly or not, doesn't every submissive exist (in part) to stroke the ego of the One that they serve? What satisfaction would a Dominant derive from being served, if that service did not feed their ego? In serving another the submissive receives a bit of ego-stroking on their own, whether they admit it or not. It's called fulfillment, yet you don’t often see a submissive being accused of having an inflated ego.
Melanie- just a thought. Has He ever used the word 'alpha' when referring to one submissive? That particular term, or 1st girl, best girl, etc. could identify the primary relationship if He uses those 'titles' within His house. Would you be required to act on the wishes of another submissive? Would another have the authority to tell you what to do in His absence, and your obedience to that submissive be a requirement of your service to Him? Any of the above and more could apply in a highly structured household. If there is a hierarchy within His current family, the only way to find out is to ask. Most relationships today, as others have noted, are more loosely structured.
For anyone considering a poly relationship… are you capable of being 'one' of a group, or do you need to be the 'only one'? If you can’t be happy unless you are the 'only one'... don't do it. Also, one should never join a poly household with thoughts of manipulating the relationship so that they can become the 'only one'. Even if they did manage to pull it off, it wouldn't work for very long. Why? Who would be owned at that point? The Dominant would no longer be in control because the submissive assumed complete control of the relationship a) by manipulating His relationship with the others, and b) by attempting to keep Him/Her from having relationships with others in the future. Few poly-oriented Dominants would remain happy once they realize that they've sacrificed control and their need to have 'more.' All the love in the world, one on one, cannot fulfill that basic hunger for long.
Can you find personal fulfillment if your relationship with Him is fractional? Can you handle being left out when He takes another submissive into the bedroom and closes the door? Like snooze pointed out, poly doesn't necessarily mean that each submissive will serve at the same time. Poly relationships aren’t about having orgies every night, although it does happen at times. Poly, at its best would find all involved functioning as a harmonious family unit. There would be no need for competition because they would have been chosen to compliment each others strengths, personalities and style of service.
Master and i have spoken briefly, on several occasions about poly relationships. It could become a possibility one day, so i'm keeping an open mind about it. Adding another would be a big step, it would require both discussion and the investment of considerable time to find the right person. Because i am His slave, anyone that He might choose would ultimately be His decision…but i trust His judgment, and know that He would exercise the utmost care in making that decision.
There is no single reason why a Dominant would desire more than one submissive or slave. The internal force that drives them to seek the service of others varies as much as the vast array of colors in a giant box of crayons. Each color triggers within us certain mental images of things that we know well, yet they evoke different emotions. In my opinion, those that seek more than one submissive desire a more broad range of emotional experience.
Is the desire to have more than one submissive or slave related to the size of their ego? Maybe for some, but not all. Poly or not, doesn't every submissive exist (in part) to stroke the ego of the One that they serve? What satisfaction would a Dominant derive from being served, if that service did not feed their ego? In serving another the submissive receives a bit of ego-stroking on their own, whether they admit it or not. It's called fulfillment, yet you don’t often see a submissive being accused of having an inflated ego.
Melanie- just a thought. Has He ever used the word 'alpha' when referring to one submissive? That particular term, or 1st girl, best girl, etc. could identify the primary relationship if He uses those 'titles' within His house. Would you be required to act on the wishes of another submissive? Would another have the authority to tell you what to do in His absence, and your obedience to that submissive be a requirement of your service to Him? Any of the above and more could apply in a highly structured household. If there is a hierarchy within His current family, the only way to find out is to ask. Most relationships today, as others have noted, are more loosely structured.
For anyone considering a poly relationship… are you capable of being 'one' of a group, or do you need to be the 'only one'? If you can’t be happy unless you are the 'only one'... don't do it. Also, one should never join a poly household with thoughts of manipulating the relationship so that they can become the 'only one'. Even if they did manage to pull it off, it wouldn't work for very long. Why? Who would be owned at that point? The Dominant would no longer be in control because the submissive assumed complete control of the relationship a) by manipulating His relationship with the others, and b) by attempting to keep Him/Her from having relationships with others in the future. Few poly-oriented Dominants would remain happy once they realize that they've sacrificed control and their need to have 'more.' All the love in the world, one on one, cannot fulfill that basic hunger for long.
Can you find personal fulfillment if your relationship with Him is fractional? Can you handle being left out when He takes another submissive into the bedroom and closes the door? Like snooze pointed out, poly doesn't necessarily mean that each submissive will serve at the same time. Poly relationships aren’t about having orgies every night, although it does happen at times. Poly, at its best would find all involved functioning as a harmonious family unit. There would be no need for competition because they would have been chosen to compliment each others strengths, personalities and style of service.
Master and i have spoken briefly, on several occasions about poly relationships. It could become a possibility one day, so i'm keeping an open mind about it. Adding another would be a big step, it would require both discussion and the investment of considerable time to find the right person. Because i am His slave, anyone that He might choose would ultimately be His decision…but i trust His judgment, and know that He would exercise the utmost care in making that decision.
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