My dilemma
- Thread starter niteshade
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Advice hmmmm
Hi Nightshade:
Let me preface this with a simple statement:
I have gone to a reasonable amount of trouble (sometimes unreasonable to the point where I wondered why I was there) to avoid putting any of the subs that played with me, in a position to set off hidden landmines.
And before I get my arse jumped by assorted - No. I am not a psychologist. I have had the misfortune to study entirely more of it than I wanted to. Hazards of being an EDU. Major in this day and age.
Also anyone (Dom) who plays with folks perceptions/feelings (even with consent) has a responsibility to learn as much as possible.
So - here's the free advice (perhaps worth what you paid for it).
Don't
Or rather - Don't yet.
I have played with folks who have assorted problems ( And the Gods know I am somewhat tired of Electra complexes).
But the difference hinges on the description of what is going on.
You are not describing an emotional break out/down. What you are describing is a lapse into a fugue state, with resulting uncontrollable violence. Used to be known as Berserkergang, depending on the setting. A well documented but not understood thing. You show the symptomatic disregard for personal pain and injury that is typical.
Ill bet that if you were to poll the Lit Doms, you would probably find that many have worked with folks that have had problems. And a lot of problems can be worked through. Requires a LOT of patience and understanding. Plus it is hard unless you REALLY love the other.
SO - the advice is to get help on this FIRST. what you are describing is much more serious than being simply "weirded out".
EKVITKAR
P.S. Oh and for the record - some of this comes from "been there done that"
I wasn't a victim of physical abuse - My father just liked to scream and humiliate people. Probably made him feel important or some such shit. He stopped when I reached an age where there was a good chance he was gonna get a mudhole stomped into his ass. (And that almost getting shot helped his thought processes quite a bit too I'm sure.)
Hi Nightshade:
Let me preface this with a simple statement:
I have gone to a reasonable amount of trouble (sometimes unreasonable to the point where I wondered why I was there) to avoid putting any of the subs that played with me, in a position to set off hidden landmines.
And before I get my arse jumped by assorted - No. I am not a psychologist. I have had the misfortune to study entirely more of it than I wanted to. Hazards of being an EDU. Major in this day and age.
Also anyone (Dom) who plays with folks perceptions/feelings (even with consent) has a responsibility to learn as much as possible.
So - here's the free advice (perhaps worth what you paid for it).
Don't
Or rather - Don't yet.
I have played with folks who have assorted problems ( And the Gods know I am somewhat tired of Electra complexes).
But the difference hinges on the description of what is going on.
You are not describing an emotional break out/down. What you are describing is a lapse into a fugue state, with resulting uncontrollable violence. Used to be known as Berserkergang, depending on the setting. A well documented but not understood thing. You show the symptomatic disregard for personal pain and injury that is typical.
Ill bet that if you were to poll the Lit Doms, you would probably find that many have worked with folks that have had problems. And a lot of problems can be worked through. Requires a LOT of patience and understanding. Plus it is hard unless you REALLY love the other.
SO - the advice is to get help on this FIRST. what you are describing is much more serious than being simply "weirded out".
EKVITKAR
P.S. Oh and for the record - some of this comes from "been there done that"
I wasn't a victim of physical abuse - My father just liked to scream and humiliate people. Probably made him feel important or some such shit. He stopped when I reached an age where there was a good chance he was gonna get a mudhole stomped into his ass. (And that almost getting shot helped his thought processes quite a bit too I'm sure.)
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
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- Sep 19, 2001
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Re: Advice hmmmm
EKVITKAR said:
Netzach
>semiotics?
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2003
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- 21,732
Sometimes it's harder when you really love the other.
A lot of things can be worked through. Not all things should ONLY be worked through with one's partner. This is why the *right* professional gets paid, they are a less invested party and that can be really helpful.
A lot of things can be worked through. Not all things should ONLY be worked through with one's partner. This is why the *right* professional gets paid, they are a less invested party and that can be really helpful.
