new marriage idea

[silverwhisper]

feistyred: i seem to recall thinking it was not much under an hour. pick your "mother of the groom" dress very carefully. :> o, and congratulations!

eilan: i strongly suspect that your wedding dress looked sensational on you. :>

ed

 

[Eilan]

I've never been to a Catholic wedding...Are you telling me I have this to look forward to???

It isn't that bad. Really.

The problem that my ex and I had is that some of his Catholic relatives didn't want to attend a ceremony unless we had Mass. Some of my non-Catholic relatives, on the other hand, were afraid that God would smite them dead if they dared set foot in a Catholic church. Therefore, our wedding was small by default, but that was okay. I figured if those relatives couldn't deal with THEIR issues on OUR special day, then we didn't need them around in the first place.

 

[Feistyred16]

It isn't that bad. Really.
Some of my non-Catholic relatives, on the other hand, were afraid that God would smite them dead if they dared set foot in a Catholic church.

Hehe..I forgot to mention...My son asked his uncle who is a "hellfire & brimstone" Baptist preacher to do one of the readings...I wonder if he's afraid?...

 

[Eilan]

i strongly suspect that your wedding dress looked sensational on you.

After almost eleven years--and four kids in 5 1/2 years--I can still fit into it.

I'd love to see one of my two older daughters wear it someday (since it was their dad I was married to at the time). It's probably a little too soon to tell, though; I suspect they'll both end up being taller than I am. My oldest is tall for her age and gangly (at the moment, at least), and her little sister is tall for her age with wide shoulders and no hips. Definitely NOT built like her mom!

 

[Eilan]

Hehe..I forgot to mention...My son asked his uncle who is a "hellfire & brimstone" Baptist preacher to do one of the readings...I wonder if he's afraid?...

That could be interesting. Maybe he'll set aside his "differences"?

Not all of my family members are like that, fortunately. My grandmother used to be very unpopular at her Baptist church. A certain amount of the Sunday School lesson was always devoted to Catholic-bashing, and she was quite fond of calling bullshit on a weekly basis.

 

[Quoll]

Contract? Contract?.. we don`t need no stinkin` contract we`s all in love man.

 

[Quoll]

FWIW, i share that opinion, eilan.

EJ, i tend to view prenups as the romantic equivalent of farting during sex. :> no offense man, but i'm just not a fan of this one.

ed

Woah there mister there is nothing wrong with a good fart during sex, ok during oral not so good.

 

[LadyJeanne]

ok... i was talking with a good friend of mine the other day and we discussed a great new approach to marriage. this was partly the brain-child of brian jones (former, deceased rolling stone member and pussy expert).

instead of getting married " 'til death do us part," and winding up getting divorced (as more than half of all couples do), why not get married on a contract basis. you'd simply marry your SO by signing a contract for, say, five years. when that five years nears an end, you can "renew" for, say, a year or five years or what have you.

what do you all think?

Interesting concept to think about. There's a lot of practical logic to it. If it became common, I wonder what that would do to our concepts of family, especially for how kids think of family and parents.

I've never been married, so I don't know the answer to this - is there anything about the act of getting married that makes you feel more committed to your partner? Would that 'something' be lost if you were signing a contract?

 

[bronzeage]

an interesting idea

you'd simply marry your SO by signing a contract for, say, five years. when that five years nears an end, you can "renew" for, say, a year or five years or what have you.

what do you all think?

Its an interesting idea, but a breakup is a breakup whether you are legally married, co-habitating or just seeing each other on weekends. It is the process of falling in love, put in reverse. You experience the intense feelings you had when falling in love, but on the negative side of the line and are lucky if you don't end up hating each other. I wish there was a better way. It would have made my life easier.

 

[aftershox]

marriage idea

You 5 year renewable contract idea makes alot of sense. Kinda goes with a poem of mine

----------------------------------------

Don't you let love end badly

So don't you let love end badly.
Don't let it hurt you.
There is no reason that anyone should.

Nothing lasts forever
Not passion or romantic fever
Or if it does, it doesn't necessarily stay good.

Much love ends in anger
And a sense of betrayal.
Like a sand castle in the path of the tide.

Life is much like the ocean
And its tide's ebb and flows
Take a picture first and then don't act surprised.

If you plan for the end;
If you know it is coming
You can savor every last moment with joy.

Love should be like good book
Which crescendoes to a peak
Then unfolds & winds down to the end.

When you are at the last page
Linger with all the sweet words
Hold the book hugging it again and again

 

[aftershox]

then there is the concept of borrowing vs owning

Borrower of Hearts

You say you never borrow another poet's words...
I really can't believe that, I can't believe what I heard!
Every word or phrase we use came from another
Your first poetry, no doubt, came from your mother.

I freely admit to be borrower of rhyme
And on this earth I am but a borrower of time
In the matter of love, what I think sets me apart
Is that I seek not to possess; I am just a borrower of hearts.

So let me come borrow away a portion of your heart
Larger amounts later, just tiny bits to start
I will probably return it all later rather worn, tattered and used
Like a well-read book, well-loved - not abused.

We really can only borrow- just living on borrowed time
Between good friends and fellow explorers love should not be a crime
With each love there is rhythm, a tempo making a notch in our mind
So reach out to me and be a borrower, I think you will like what you find.

 

[rhev]

Marriage is bullshit.

Every single person I know with the exception of my parents that has been married is currently divorced. Oh, except for my one friend Kim, she just got married about 4 months ago, to someone whos been married twice before.

I have no faith in the institution of marriage and if I were the final say in such matters we would scrap the whole concept as an outdated social contract.

Then again, I have my decidely unromantic moments and maybe I just haven't found the right woman yet. Or maybe I'm still bitter over one ex who I thought was the one right up untill I found out she was cheating on me.

/shrug

 

[Gekken]

ok... i was talking with a good friend of mine the other day and we discussed a great new approach to marriage. this was partly the brain-child of brian jones (former, deceased rolling stone member and pussy expert).

instead of getting married " 'til death do us part," and winding up getting divorced (as more than half of all couples do), why not get married on a contract basis. you'd simply marry your SO by signing a contract for, say, five years. when that five years nears an end, you can "renew" for, say, a year or five years or what have you.

what do you all think?

100% behind it. It wasn't Brian Jones, I'm pretty sure the concept is ancient Indonesean. Heinlein revived it in the fifties.

 

[AV guy II]

ok... i was talking with a good friend of mine the other day and we discussed a great new approach to marriage. this was partly the brain-child of brian jones (former, deceased rolling stone member and pussy expert).

instead of getting married " 'til death do us part," and winding up getting divorced (as more than half of all couples do), why not get married on a contract basis. you'd simply marry your SO by signing a contract for, say, five years. when that five years nears an end, you can "renew" for, say, a year or five years or what have you.

what do you all think?

Why not just buy a house for somebody you can't stand? It'll cost you about the same as a divorce.

 

[EJFan]

Why not just buy a house for somebody you can't stand? It'll cost you about the same as a divorce.

i remember a celebrity saying this about marriage... who was it? they'd been married a number of times and said that the next time they wanted to get married they'd just buy her a house instead.

i hate it when you can't think of something you know you should know. someone help!!

 

[EJFan]

100% behind it. It wasn't Brian Jones, I'm pretty sure the concept is ancient Indonesean. Heinlein revived it in the fifties.

thanks. i didn't think it was brian jones' original idea but he was the only one i could think to attribute it to... i surely wasn't gonna take credit

this is a really interesting point... i wonder if we can find any evidence that it was an indonesian concept and/or if it was ever practiced.

 

[dragon_gurl]

I tend to be of the opinion that it's WAY too easy to get married, though.

I agree with that throughly. Would we get married as often (for short lengths of time) if it were more difficult to get married, and divorced. my "forever" only lasted 2 years... lol... But he was abusive.

 

[flowerchilde]

Well, I've been with my SO for 8 years now and we don't intend to get married any time soon. Yes, we are getting pressured by both sets of relatives, but hell, it's our lives not theirs and we'll get married when we damn well feel like it! Neither of us are religious so there is no problem with sex without marriage and I think I would be comfortable raising a child in a common-law relationship.

Reading posts here in Canada: I think it is the opposit here I think if your married or not it makes no diffrence to the Government. But, do'nt quote me on that cause I am not sure?

Yes, here in Canada the Government doesn't give a shit if you are married or not, you still get the same benefits. Which is why I don't really care anymore whether the SO and I get married or not.

 

[Ricwilly]

i remember a celebrity saying this about marriage... who was it? they'd been married a number of times and said that the next time they wanted to get married they'd just buy her a house instead.

i hate it when you can't think of something you know you should know. someone help!!

Ya, I remember that too, but I thing it was a woman who said it.

 

[Ricwilly]

I don't think people get married with divorce in minds but I think it may be an option in some recess of thar mind. At any rate we are quicker to use that option these days. I think it should be harder to get divorced.

 

[Ricwilly]

Hmmmm, was it Cher?

 

[EJFan]

so eilan suggests we make it harder to get married and ricwilly wants us to make it harder to get divorced. lol.

i dunno... my puny little head just found this amusing. *shrug*

 

[EJFan]

Hmmmm, was it Cher?

no... i'm certain it wasn't cher. i DO think it was a musician or singer though. christ this is makin' me nuts.

 

[Ricwilly]

so eilan suggests we make it harder to get married and ricwilly wants us to make it harder to get divorced. lol.

i dunno... my puny little head just found this amusing. *shrug*

On a related note ya oughta have to pass a test to have kids.

 

[EJFan]

On a related note ya oughta have to pass a test to have kids.

i can't agree with you more... i've sometimes felt that people should have to pass a test just to be able to be in public. then again, i'm an egotistical bastard.

seriously though... wouldn't it be great if we could abandon the whole age principal and have milestones be achievable by intellect rather than chronology. maybe then people would take a more serious interest in their education. can't scoot through high school with a "C" unless you don't wanna drive 'til you're 30.