New, need advice for my girlfriend and I

[Oclafsti]

I know that sounds simple, but please at least look through the library for safety tips. http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=266656

Make sure she has a safe signal so she can communicate that she needs to stop. Remember that duct tape can damage skin. Have safety shears available so you can cut her out in an emergency. And please be aware that bondage can cause nerve and circulation damage. I've never used duct tape for bondage, so my suggestions are merely a general precaution. Stay safe.

Edited to add this link. There was a good suggestion to put plastic wrap down wherever you're using the duct tape to protect the skin.

Hm interesting. The handcuffs are still in the mail I think it will be okay. If she is bound at the mouth and hands. How do you guys utilize a safety word ?

 

[MeekMe]

Hm interesting. The handcuffs are still in the mail I think it will be okay. If she is bound at the mouth and hands. How do you guys utilize a safety word ?

Actually, for a first time I wouldn't recommend taping her mouth. A good way to communicate is to use the traffic light system. Green = good, yellow = slowdown, red = stop! If you check in and she says green, proceed . Yellow? Make adjustments. Red? Full stop, assess and fix. If you want to and she's comfortable having her mouth taped, use some kind of signal like dropping a scarf or a bell or something. This isn't fool proof and you have to really pay attention.

I'm really not trying to rain on any parades but having your hair ripped out or skin damaged from tape sounds like a bad first time. And the whole nerve damage thing. Again, I'm only putting this here because I don't want to see someone get hurt because they didn't know to take some precautions.

 

[Lord_Steve]

Very nice response I needed. Lovely. I'll update tomorrow after I see her. Planning to duct tape her arms and mouth shut. Keep it simple see what happens

alright, hold up. i realize that you probably blocked me as soon as i contradicted your dom fantasies, but this is seriously not a safe thing to do to an inexperienced sub (or anyone, really). handcuffs can also seriously injure a person if you aren't careful. you don't seem careful.

does she know that you are planning to duct tape her mouth shut? please don't let your erection keep you from having an honest discussion with your partner.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Perhaps consider starting even simpler with a blindfold and tying with something like a scarf? You will still have to have some way to cut the tie fast without hurting her because knots tend to tighten like you wouldn't believe. Safety shears are usually easy to find at the farmacy.
Make sure yo do not constrict bloodflow and be aware about leaving marks so that you don't get yourselves into trouble.

If it is the first time you are trying bondage as I guess it is for her and maybe for you too, you might not react like you think you will and it is good to be able to communicate.
You can still order her to shut up, beyond the signal system that Meeks mentioned.
Being able to laugh together at yourselves is great, because first times can be awkward.

Different Loving, that Jomar mentioned is a good suggestion I think and for safety and technical stuff, you might want to look up BDSM 101.

 

[Oclafsti]

alright, hold up. i realize that you probably blocked me as soon as i contradicted your dom fantasies, but this is seriously not a safe thing to do to an inexperienced sub (or anyone, really). handcuffs can also seriously injure a person if you aren't careful. you don't seem careful.

does she know that you are planning to duct tape her mouth shut? please don't let your erection keep you from having an honest discussion with your partner.

I don't know you why would I block you lol. You just sound like a lonely old man or female. Sorry

 

[Oclafsti]

Thanks for all the advice. The first time went like I had it in my head.for both of us. She never had orgasemed and she did. Multiple times. I finally could get hard and she finally was soaked. It's crazy we met eachother and can fulfill our fantasies. Normal sex dosent really excite me or her. It was good we were honest with eachother. Are pictures aloud.? I took some. Thanks all! I used a tie as a blindfold and used rope to tie her hands and legs to the bed post.

 

[MeekMe]

Thanks for all the advice. The first time went like I had it in my head.for both of us. She never had orgasemed and she did. Multiple times. I finally could get hard and she finally was soaked. It's crazy we met eachother and can fulfill our fantasies. Normal sex dosent really excite me or her. It was good we were honest with eachother. Are pictures aloud.? I took some. Thanks all! I used a tie as a blindfold and used rope to tie her hands and legs to the bed post.

Glad it went well!

It depends on the pictures. Check the picture posting guidelines to see if it's ok. Also, get her consent. It's a dick move to post pictures of someone else without their consent.

Keep reading, have fun.

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

Oclafsti, after reading through your posts, I can't tell you how happy I am you and your partner had fun in your play together. I hope no one was hurt. Everyone has given you a lot of advice and some great resource material/ reading. Please take a little time and read some general information on BDSM. If you don't want to purchase the books, go to online sites and at least read the sections about safety. I'm truly worried that one or both of you may get hurt.

Duct taping someone's mouth or skin is not a "simple thing." Please don't do that in your play. It doesn't appear you are experienced enough or knowledgeable enough to identify if a safety issue occurs. You've received a lot of good advice, but I'm going to stress a few things you both need to focus on before playing again.

One, talk to each other about what it is you both want. Listen to her. Ask questions and make sure you know what she wants and she understands what your plan is.

Two, make sure she understands the safe words that were described earlier. Green, everything is okay and a go, Yellow, slow down, reassess the situation, check in with her and make sure she is okay. RED is stop, stop immediately. Talk and figure out what the problem or issue is. Then talk more about how to continue or if you should stop for a while. If for some reason, she is unable to speak...make sure you have a non-verbal way for her to tell you to stop.

Three, take your time. Be safe. Work your way through things slowly and carefully. If you are using anything to tie her up, make sure you can fit your finger between the restraint and her arm/leg etc. NEVER tie anything around her neck. It isn't something you should be playing with at this time, if ever. Don't use any makeshift/homemade collars. Use something that is professionally manufactured and it should fit well. Again, be able to place at least a finger between the collar and her skin.

Four, even though you may feel this is not a "nice place for new people" please ask questions. If you need to, private message one or more of the people who answered you and you feel you liked thier response. All of the people who posted are trying to help you. Some may be able to make you feel more comfortable and relate to you better. Please use them as resources if they are willing.

Look at some of the resource material here on Lit, links and sites have been provided earlier. Please, please, use them.

Remember SAFETY first. Please be careful and have fun.

I feel like many of these post should have started and ended with a loud buzzing sound and then had the deep voice that says, "This has been a Public Service Announcement..." Sorry for the lengthy response.

 

[JanneE]

Please take

Whatever you say

 

[Lord_Steve]

I don't know you why would I block you lol. You just sound like a lonely old man or female. Sorry

lmao son i'm mike tyson and you're gaseous clay. i'd go the dozens with you but you're stuck at the twos. you're michael jackoff trying to start shit from neverlaid ranch. you're saltier than your flopsweat when you even look at a gym.

I finally could get hard and she finally was soaked.

congrats on not having terrible sex for the first time in your life. please don't use duct tape or handcuffs on your partner without warning them from now on. all joking aside, that's a serious safety issue.

 

[JanneE]

Does she think you're a sick disgusting fuck for getting off on the idea of walking her around like a dog on a leash? No? Then why are you worried about finding someone with whom you may be sexually compatible.

Can I throw my opinion in here as a guy? It's way better to let people know how you feel than to bottle everything up. When you do decide to pick a fight with someone and end up in... err, get locked up, make sure you were on the same page. Finding 20 random texts the next day from someone who, actually, had never even bothered to stop and tell you good morning before will not make you seem like a better communicator, or a friend. It will not magically change your relationship. You might wish you had tried to form some real memories and attachments, even half-assed ones, instead of always being right. Then you can beat each other senseless for all I care. It will make a good story!

 

[JanneE]

Maybe none of my business, but how was your Valentines Day?

 

[JanneE]

Wow, that good huh?