Newer Drawings (My Beautiful Friend)

[Kcar]

Some fine drawings up there

Thankyou, homme!

Are you, by any chance, of French ancestry?

 

[just pet]

You're totally amazing

 

[Kcar]

You're totally amazing

Thankyou, pet! You just made my evening.

 

[just pet]

Thankyou, pet! You just made my evening.

You've inspired me to post a few

And you are so welcome

 

[briar_rose]

Thanx so much, rose! That means a lot to me. Drawing is my only strength. Can't do much else. *giggle*

Portraits and fantasy are my faves too! Do you draw then?

yeah i draw so much it's not as much a pleasure as it used to be, but thats because i barely get time to do what i want. Art school works you hard.
My work is fairly stylised.

Thanks so much for your comment. It's wonderful how you get involved with everyones story

 

[cantdog]

Art school, man. Once it was a dream of mine. My old man refused to contribute a penny if I went to it, though, and I caved in.

He thought I should become a lawyer.



I give good pencil, Kcar, and I can do balanced and eye-catching poster work. I doubt I ever made a week's salary at it, my whole life. I keep getting drawn into doing projects for free.

 

[Kcar]

You've inspired me to post a few

And you are so welcome

I saw!! I'm so happy you're here!

 

[Kcar]

yeah i draw so much it's not as much a pleasure as it used to be, but thats because i barely get time to do what i want. Art school works you hard.
My work is fairly stylised.

Thanks so much for your comment. It's wonderful how you get involved with everyones story

Oh hell! What yr are you? Are you going for a BA or BFA? I don't have either! (ran outta money and make just enough to be exempt from grants) Yes, I was worked to the bone in art school, but you must have good teachers then...where are you taking classes? (if that's not too personal)

Can you post what you have from your own stylized work soon? Start your own thread here?

 

[Kcar]

Art school, man. Once it was a dream of mine. My old man refused to contribute a penny if I went to it, though, and I caved in.

He thought I should become a lawyer.



I give good pencil, Kcar, and I can do balanced and eye-catching poster work. I doubt I ever made a week's salary at it, my whole life. I keep getting drawn into doing projects for free.

Man, that's a bummer!

Do you like being a lawyer? If so, then it's all cool.


Can I see some of your poster work? I love that stuff!


I do a lot of free work too, dog - xmas and bday presents mostly.

 

[briar_rose]

hehe i guess i cant keep my mystery up i'll post my latest piece.

I'm a first year in BA of Visual Arts at the moment its interesting.

 

[Kcar]

hehe i guess i cant keep my mystery up i'll post my latest piece.

I'm a first year in BA of Visual Arts at the moment its interesting.

w00t!!

I'm looking forward to that, rose!

 

[cantdog]

artist? lawyer?

No, in the event, we were both wrong. Fireman, atheist missionary, schoolteacher, bookkeeper, bookstore work. Dad. Fool. Husband. Lots of roles, but no lawyering.

 

[Kcar]

No, in the event, we were both wrong. Fireman, atheist missionary, schoolteacher, bookkeeper, bookstore work. Dad. Fool. Husband. Lots of roles, but no lawyering.

A fireman!! THAT's COOL!

I've never known a real one...well, except for my crazy brother. He's not a fireman anymore. He was at the top of his class, but he couldn't handle the work...he started to hate people. He got bitter. I have 5 brothers and one sis. I'm the oldest. Actually, I lost one of my brothers when he was 36, but that's another story.

You're a hubby and a father? 2 more big pluses...you actually do all of that??

I wanna hear more.

 

[cantdog]

Being a fireman was damn cool. I retired from that job in '95, but I miss some things about it, even now. The most poignant thing I miss is being a hero to children.

I would wave to kids from the fire truck (an engine, not a truck, technically), and moms would point me out eagerly. The kid would wave back, all smiles. Nowadays, if i wave, in drab civvies, from my battered woods beast, the moms pull their charges behind their skirts and glare at me. They follow up with dire amorphous warnings about strangers.

Yet I'm the same man. Hell, it's been twelve years, nearly-- I'm actually a better and wiser man. But I had the credential then.

Do all that? Not all at once. I went from Firefighter to Bookstore Worker, and thence to Bookkeeper and general administrative help at a church. Us atheist pornographers, they don't always welcome us at churches. Much less on mission trips! But I have a very cozy and comfortable relationship with my boss and with the missionaries to the R.D. I am useful. Iam compassionate and skilled. If only I were in better shape!

 

[Kcar]

Being a fireman was damn cool. I retired from that job in '95, but I miss some things about it, even now. The most poignant thing I miss is being a hero to children.

I would wave to kids from the fire truck (an engine, not a truck, technically), and moms would point me out eagerly. The kid would wave back, all smiles. Nowadays, if i wave, in drab civvies, from my battered woods beast, the moms pull their charges behind their skirts and glare at me. They follow up with dire amorphous warnings about strangers.

Yet I'm the same man. Hell, it's been twelve years, nearly-- I'm actually a better and wiser man. But I had the credential then.

Do all that? Not all at once. I went from Firefighter to Bookstore Worker, and thence to Bookkeeper and general administrative help at a church. Us atheist pornographers, they don't always welcome us at churches. Much less on mission trips! But I have a very cozy and comfortable relationship with my boss and with the missionaries to the R.D. I am useful. Iam compassionate and skilled. If only I were in better shape!

I just read this with my jaw on the keyboard...wow!

I have go to bed for now, but I''ll be back to answer this properly tomorrow.

 

[cantdog]

Pray don't feel obliged, Kcar. I didn't even mention my most important roles, as a dad and a husband. Any ass with upper body strength can be a creditable firefighter. The city liked having intelligent ones, but they also clearly didn't select us using that for the first criterion.

 

[Kcar]

Pray don't feel obliged, Kcar. I didn't even mention my most important roles, as a dad and a husband. Any ass with upper body strength can be a creditable firefighter. The city liked having intelligent ones, but they also clearly didn't select us using that for the first criterion.

Bravo!

Nowadays, if i wave, in drab civvies, from my battered woods beast, the moms pull their charges behind their skirts and glare at me. They follow
up with dire amorphous warnings about strangers.

*chuckles*

So what is it that you do now?

Yet I'm the same man. Hell, it's been twelve years, nearly-- I'm actually a better and wiser man.

Yes. Trading beauty and youth for wisdom and growth is the key to a better life! I love being an old coot. *giggle*

Us atheist pornographers, they don't always welcome us at churches. Much less on mission trips! But I have a very cozy and comfortable relationship with my boss and with the missionaries to the R.D. I am useful. Iam compassionate and skilled. If only I were in better shape!

I'm very interested in this, especially. I would like to know more - you've not had a boring life!

 

[WARNINGWARNING]

Nice work, Kcar.

 

[Kcar]

Nice work, Kcar.

I see you are fairly new to the boards. Welcome! Did you come over from the Lit General Board?

And thankyou.

 

[WARNINGWARNING]

I see you are fairly new to the boards. Welcome! Did you come over from the Lit General Board?

And thankyou.

Thank you. I have been over to the General Board, but in "general" they were even more hostile there. That doesn't scare me, but not something I seek out for recreation.

 

[cantdog]

There's a culture of brashness. We did something a bit like it at the firehouse, but of course there were limits. We stood in one another's presence, not hundreds of miles away under an assumed name, and that makes people a bit more realistic.

 

[cantdog]

I did already slip in a description, Kcar, of what I do now: bookkeeper and general administrative help at a church. I have that and my pension and investments. I did a series of drawings and posters for a play around Eastertime, which are too big to scan, properly. Free work. Did some posters this summer, also free.

 

[Kcar]

I did already slip in a description, Kcar, of what I do now: bookkeeper and general administrative help at a church. I have that and my pension and investments. I did a series of drawings and posters for a play around Eastertime, which are too big to scan, properly. Free work. Did some posters this summer, also free.

Us atheist pornographers, they don't always welcome us at churches.

This is what interested me. Are you really Atheist? And do they know?

I'm agnostic...I believe in an intelligent universe - us included - in a grand web of life - everything affecting everything else in a beautiful design, and therefore inextricably linked.

I think that the science of Chaos Theory (the science of complex systems) explains most of what I believe...

Chaos Therory is based on physical science. From quantum mechanics to cosmic physics.

 

[cantdog]

Yeah, I realize agnosticism is the only respectable stance, but I took the leap of faith. Certainly if there is a God, none of the descriptions we see being used are correct.

They don't make me wear a yellow badge, or anything, so I suppose a bunch of the members here don't know. (Except that we are all born atheist, and have to learn about it. It's really completely ordinary to be atheist, for everyone, until they are taught otherwise.) The boss certainly knows, and the people I've done mission trips with.

 

[Kcar]

Yeah, I realize agnosticism is the only respectable stance, but I took the leap of faith. Certainly if there is a God, none of the descriptions we see being used are correct.

They don't make me wear a yellow badge, or anything, so I suppose a bunch of the members here don't know. (Except that we are all born atheist, and have to learn about it. It's really completely ordinary to be atheist, for everyone, until they are taught otherwise.) The boss certainly knows, and the people I've done mission trips with.

Very good point! And a very unusual answer...I've not heard that before. My best friend feels the same as you do. I have great respect for his and your feelings about our existence here. I simply don't know.

Certainly if there is a God, none of the descriptions we see being used are correct.

I agree with you on this point fer sher! It's the way I've felt since I was 20 yrs old.

I don't believe in a figurhead called god either, because I have no proof of that. But I've come to believe in the mystery of the universe itself. The more that I study macro and micro physics (and the study of complex systems - Chaos Theory), the more convinced I am that what we call the universe and all within it are somehow inextricably linked - as in a pattern, a beautiful design. I do believe in the soul, because of something that happened to me in 1995...I had just turned 40.



___________________


My therapist had been encouraging me to spend time alone, in places of silence. I did this for weeks in different forests, different rooms in my home (no reading, no music... nothing).

Being silent is good for the soul. There is so much noise surrounding us today...we're continually bombarded by television, billboards, radios, trucks on the highway, etc, etc, etc. MTV is one of the worst...you have to be in perfect shape to attract a mate, blah, blah, blah...

Fight Club was the best film I've ever seen bracketing this idea.

It was 2 months that I'd been allowing my mind to drift...

I decided, one day, that I needed to visit mom. I quietely approached her gravestone...as I stood there, I noticed the date of her death, and realized that she'd been only 41 yrs old when she passed away (I'd been 16 at the time).

I felt a rage growing, ripening, filling my chest with something very powerful---

Suddenly everything blackened... I'd sunk into myself, and I knew that I was experiencing something extraordinary. The space around me was filled w/ the hum of nothing - my hearing became muffled. In my mind's eye, I found myself spinning through the darkness inside of me - descending into smaller and smaller circles, experiencing the infinite combinations of human emotions in one single trip!

At the center of myself, the spiral finally twisted into a singularity, and a sudden powerful burst of almost hot light blasted out from it... a brilliant fire, like the birth a star!

My whole body filled with it, and I could feel it burn it's way thru my skin...and fade as a penumbra around me. I suddenly, and with no cognition said, "Hi, mom." I could feel the soft heat dissapating, slowly. Then it was gone.

I believe that I was experiencing the energy field that encompasses the entire universe. I felt connected to it, as I think that all of us are. I believe that I was feeling the patterns of the web of life (Chaos Theory - fuzzy math- the softest micro/macro science in the study of physics - from quantum mechanics to the cosmic).


I had an idea about what it was that I'd seen.

When I went back to my very cool therapist, I asked him, "Was that my soul?"

He simply replied, "Yes."

Mom had been in that energy field also, and I realized that she'd always been there...

I think that each and everyone of us has one of those...and that they are all equally beautiful. But many of us either can't feel them, or we've been damaged so harshly, that we've surrounded it with a very thick wall - to protect it.

It was the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen. Nothing will ever compare to it. Not even the birth of my children. It was the essence of love and purity. My innocence.


___________________

There it is, that thing about being born with no beliefs...we just "are". At that point we are completely untouched...