Ok, What's Wrong With This Chapter?

[mastergary4u2]

I think I'd rather have a spanking, doc. I could enjoy that a lot more, if you don't mind. lol. And by the way, I ain't up to nuttin'.

Kool response, Billy.... Like that.

 

[mastergary4u2]

Spanking you would not work, love. You would like that much too much. I was going for something with a little more pazzaz, something you don't like at all. hehehe.

And you had better not be up to 'nuttin'. I will exercise my professional authority and retalliate. lol. jk. You're so cute when I threaten you like this. I think you like it too much.

Pizzaz or no, just spank him, man! And you knooooow he loves to be threatened!!!!!!!

 

[mastergary4u2]

And I mean that seriously... This chapter had me on the very edge of my seat from the first paragraph. Meeting Mr. Bowman, finally, was so very incredibly erotic and immoral. His character is very alluring, salaciously wicked. You have to go meet him. And don't be surprised if you find yourself wanting to be in Bruce's shoes while you read it. It's so tempting, I'll say.

Bruce is very strong, in this. I commend him for his character and strength. Tony and Maurice just left me panting. The fight was very well crafted.

Jonathan, I swear I was on the edge of my seat when the moment came that he would exact his plan for Maurice. And it shocked me when the scene suddenly changed. I loved it.

Peter and Bruce were very hillarious.

The end made me weep. I hope I'm not mourning a dead character now. I fell in love with this character, as I know many have. And I hope to see him back in the last chapter.

Go read it, people. If you don't you are truly missing out.

Bigrig Ch. 17

I came in here to comment on this thread and got caught up in all this wacky stuff in here. This is some thread, man. It's got everything. Especially luv the thing Billy and Athena did at the beginning. wow....lol

Anyway, I agree with doc. This chapter is a must read. People would be crazy to pass it up.

 

[mastergary4u2]

Craig stole all my lines!

So much pathos, emotion, tangibility (is that a word), I felt myself being right in the middle of the action like I was one of the characters. I got lost in your story Billy and that to me is the sign of an excellent writer. I could feel all the small details and see them, taste, hear, you name it...just experience them. The whirlwind of this chapter just left me breathless. I didn't want it to end.

I know you like constructive feedback as well around plot line, but as I started with.... Craig stole all my lines! Eagerly awaiting the next installment.. reminds me of what people used to do... go to the movies and watch a continuing saga every Saturday for the matinee to see what happens next. I am not quite that old, but I know that's what they did. Keep it unreeling, and I will keep showing up with my snacks and kick back for an awesome ride!

Did you steal her lines, doc? That's it! I'm calling the police! You are in trouble now, dude! lol....hehehe.....snickers........

Hey, I really loved this chapter. It was the best, man. I had my fingers in my mouth the entire chapter. Was chewing away at the bit all the way through. And the last paragraph! So short! Yet said WAY much, kid. I felt so much emotion in it. Poor Jonathan... And he loves Peter so much. You gotta bring Peter back in the last chapter, man. You can't do that to the poor guy.

 

[sweeteric2u2]

You guys really have a lotta fun in here. No fair!! I've been missing out!!!

 

[athena_by_night]

Ok, What's Wrong With This Chapter

Okay.... a couple of things.....

1. Y'all are going to have to tell me how I can get dancing bananas and roses added, because I just don't know how to do it.
2. I am glad you two joined the discussion, and no ganging up on me! I am truly loving the fact that you are considered virgins! lol.... just peek under your names you will know what I mean! Gary and Eric, you had great comments, all of them.
3. Craig, if I needed any help it certainly wouldn't be from the line police. I think I can handle myself!

And on another more serious note:

I am appalled that some people are so narrowminded in their comments at the end of chapter 17, particularly when speaking of character. Those of you who chose to post and were anonymous were extremely vindictive in your condemnation and are showing your true colors. If you choose to respond and wish to speak to the work itself, that is your choice. To denigrate and savagely attack anyone's character for finding praise for the work or for any reason is beyond the pale.

I am not sick, nor are my friends. We are all human beings who make our own choices, the same as those of you who choose to respond in the manner you did. However, in the interest of all that is decency and I am not speaking solely of what individual decency is but of humankind decency, you should really reflect on whether this is the face you choose to show the world. Each of us only have one life to live and there is an accounting at the end of this life in some way, shape or form and our deeds will be considered then.

Billy you write what you feel and you write from your heart. That certainly counts in my book. And I look forward to more of the same. I stand by what I wrote both here and at the end of chapter 17.

Marie

 

[windstormy]

Thanks

You guys are really great..........

 

[athena_by_night]

'nuff said in the other posts.....

Brilliant work of art Billy! And thank you!

 

[windstormy]

3:07 am - Patience, My Pet.......
In a gentle repose,
I lean into his body.
Like a child that grows
He cradles me.

Each morsel I am fed
By his studious hand.
The fruit of the vine
Is then met with my lips.

It is follow by his insatiable kiss.
Oh, how I long to remain in such bliss.
A piece of meat, a sip of wine,
Our lips meet. Oh, this is sublime.

To what do I owe such care, such giving?
Am I dreaming? Or is this true what I'm living?
Again, I feel tutored. And I am so humbled.
My Master feeds me of his hand and in my mind, I grumble.

"Quiet your thoughts, my pet," he tells me.
"You think too much and have no peace.
Ah, but you will learn. I will teach you.
Enjoy my comforts and my teachings, cling to."

Once I am fed, I am taken to bathe.
Not a thing I do on my own,
In his hands I am clay.
And there is gentleness in his tone.

Caught by surprise, my heart swells.
With a dreadful fight, my tears, I quell.
My eyes are lifted to his awesome face.
In reverence I behold him, desiring our bonding
Takes place.

"Patience, my pet. In due time all will transpire.
You are too hasty. To rush is to err.
Now, warm by the fire
And I will comb out your hair."

current mood: complacent
current music: When You Say You Love Me (Josh Groben-Closer)

3:28 am - Once Again.....
Again, sleep eludes me.
And what should I do?
Warm milk, warm bath,
count sheep, storm a path.

I can't sleep!!!!!!!!

current mood: sleepless
current music: Remember When It Rained (Josh Groben-Closer)

Okay, here ya go, Athena. By your so very persuasive implications....

Any remedies for a sleepless night?

 

[GEKKEN_]

Who knows, I can't read.

 

[Doug Lewis]

3:07 am - Patience, My Pet.......
In a gentle repose,
I lean into his body.
Like a child that grows
He cradles me.

Each morsel I am fed
By his studious hand.
The fruit of the vine
Is then met with my lips.

It is follow by his insatiable kiss.
Oh, how I long to remain in such bliss.
A piece of meat, a sip of wine,
Our lips meet. Oh, this is sublime.

To what do I owe such care, such giving?
Am I dreaming? Or is this true what I'm living?
Again, I feel tutored. And I am so humbled.
My Master feeds me of his hand and in my mind, I grumble.

"Quiet your thoughts, my pet," he tells me.
"You think too much and have no peace.
Ah, but you will learn. I will teach you.
Enjoy my comforts and my teachings, cling to."

Once I am fed, I am taken to bathe.
Not a thing I do on my own,
In his hands I am clay.
And there is gentleness in his tone.

Caught by surprise, my heart swells.
With a dreadful fight, my tears, I quell.
My eyes are lifted to his awesome face.
In reverence I behold him, desiring our bonding
Takes place.

"Patience, my pet. In due time all will transpire.
You are too hasty. To rush is to err.
Now, warm by the fire
And I will comb out your hair."

current mood: complacent
current music: When You Say You Love Me (Josh Groben-Closer)

3:28 am - Once Again.....
Again, sleep eludes me.
And what should I do?
Warm milk, warm bath,
count sheep, storm a path.

I can't sleep!!!!!!!!

current mood: sleepless
current music: Remember When It Rained (Josh Groben-Closer)

Okay, here ya go, Athena. By your so very persuasive implications....

Any remedies for a sleepless night?

Really nice, Billy.

 

[sweeteric2u2]

Really nice, Billy.

I agree. It's very nice.​

 

[sweeteric2u2]

Okay.... a couple of things.....

1. Y'all are going to have to tell me how I can get dancing bananas and roses added, because I just don't know how to do it.
2. I am glad you two joined the discussion, and no ganging up on me! I am truly loving the fact that you are considered virgins! lol.... just peek under your names you will know what I mean! Gary and Eric, you had great comments, all of them.
3. Craig, if I needed any help it certainly wouldn't be from the line police. I think I can handle myself!

And on another more serious note:

I am appalled that some people are so narrowminded in their comments at the end of chapter 17, particularly when speaking of character. Those of you who chose to post and were anonymous were extremely vindictive in your condemnation and are showing your true colors. If you choose to respond and wish to speak to the work itself, that is your choice. To denigrate and savagely attack anyone's character for finding praise for the work or for any reason is beyond the pale.

I am not sick, nor are my friends. We are all human beings who make our own choices, the same as those of you who choose to respond in the manner you did. However, in the interest of all that is decency and I am not speaking solely of what individual decency is but of humankind decency, you should really reflect on whether this is the face you choose to show the world. Each of us only have one life to live and there is an accounting at the end of this life in some way, shape or form and our deeds will be considered then.

Billy you write what you feel and you write from your heart. That certainly counts in my book. And I look forward to more of the same. I stand by what I wrote both here and at the end of chapter 17.

Marie

I totally agree. Billy is not sick! And neither are any of the rest of you guys. If we were, this entire forum and everyone that submits a story here is in the same boat with the rest of us.

Billy just writes what is in his heart and what he's been through. And if everyone could get a grip on that, they might could read his stuff with a lot less criticism. He's a really kool guy, who loves everyone and wants so much to save the world. But he's not superman, as he is coming to find out. The poor guy has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known. And I will stand toe to toe with anyone that would want to debate that, or toss shit at him!

Okay, I said my piece. I'll just go get ready for work now.​

 

[athena_by_night]

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH You Go Eric!

 

[dcraig]

This Is New!!!

I totally agree. Billy is not sick! And neither are any of the rest of you guys. If we were, this entire forum and everyone that submits a story here is in the same boat with the rest of us.

Billy just writes what is in his heart and what he's been through. And if everyone could get a grip on that, they might could read his stuff with a lot less criticism. He's a really kool guy, who loves everyone and wants so much to save the world. But he's not superman, as he is coming to find out. The poor guy has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known. And I will stand toe to toe with anyone that would want to debate that, or toss shit at him!

Okay, I said my piece. I'll just go get ready for work now.​

My, oh, my, Eric. You sweet, quiet little man, you have lunged out of your box, my friend. I am pleased to see this. And I would tremble with terrible fright to have to debate such a thing with you. However, I have no debate in anything you have said, love. I'm just surprised to see this reaction from your quiet self. Hmmm.... Most delicious it is......

 

[dcraig]

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH You Go Eric!

Most gratifying isn't it?

 

[athena_by_night]

Oh hell yeah..... good stuff here.... awesome to witness... and as I said earlier...

You Go Eric!!!.. maybe you should write too..... its therapeutic....at least from where I stand... just a thought....

Marie

 

[windstormy]

OMG!!!!!!! I know you didn't!!!!!!!

Oh, MasterGary, may I gingerly point out that you are considered a virgin here? Lmao.... Snickers......

 

[AZSextoy]

looks like good writing to ME

 

[windstormy]

looks like good writing to ME

Thanks, man... I really do appreciate that.​

 

[windstormy]

There's erotic behavior going on in this chapter. Go check it out if you're into gay male stuff. I hope you enjoy it. This is chapter two of my sequel to Bigrig. So, I give you A Timeless Place Ch. 2

 

[athena_by_night]

Wondrous stuff once again my wildly imaginative friend.

Well thought out, witty, wickedly winsome.

Yes.... I am still on my alliterative kick. Very well done.....waiting for your next..... ohhhhhhhhhhh.......

 

[windstormy]

Wondrous stuff once again my wildly imaginative friend.

Well thought out, witty, wickedly winsome.

Yes.... I am still on my alliterative kick. Very well done.....waiting for your next..... ohhhhhhhhhhh.......

Thank you my dear sweet goddess........

 

[dcraig]

Oh, MasterGary, may I gingerly point out that you are considered a virgin here? Lmao.... Snickers......

LOL!!!!!

 

[dcraig]

looks like good writing to ME

That it is......​