online relationship

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: another sub in an online relationship

<snip>...if the Domination had nowhere to go but online this slave and I would have separated long ago as skin to skin is O/our need.

I agree with your philosophy, SD.

I will chat with subs online and on the phone, but I do not indulge in fetish behaviour online. I do not look down on anyone who does differently. I just know what I want, and I know what I do not want.

To each her own.

 

[Pleasurekitten]

Sometimes we cannot have the perfect scenario of a R/L skin- to -skin relationship to begin with, as is the case with my partner and myself. We met online and continue to communicate through this medium and on the phone even though we live in different countries. In fact, i have the internet to thank for allowing me to find the one person who understands my needs and enabled me to be awakened to and admit to myself my submissive nature. i feel that the time we take now to establish our relationship and what we learn whilst kept physically apart will only serve to help in the future growth and development of our D/s relationship when we finally are together.

As to my honesty in fulfilling his requests when he asks.........yes, i am totally honest. i can see no point in being anything else. If i do not complete a task or do as he has asked, i tell him and if there is a valid reason, he understands. If i have no reason, and i am just in a bad mood or not organised enough, then i expect him to discipline me accordingly.

i admit an online D/s relationship can be difficult to maintain at times but i do believe it can provide an excellent foundation and i know we both look forward to the time when we can toss the computer aside and i can feel the power in his touch.

 

[tyingemu]

I started this thread because I truly wanted to know how others felt, I have been getting some rude comments in my PM about how by me not telling the truth, and I never said I lied to Him, I am making a bad name for others.

to them I say, if you dont like it, dont read it, i came here for friendship and to learn how can you learn if you dont ask

 

[Shadowsdream]

I started this thread because I truly wanted to know how others felt, I have been getting some rude comments in my PM about how by me not telling the truth, and I never said I lied to Him, I am making a bad name for others.

to them I say, if you dont like it, dont read it, i came here for friendship and to learn how can you learn if you dont ask

your question was valid...W/we are all responsible for O/our own name.
The only way to learn is to ask...the answers that have come in this thread will tell many, not just you, how Dominants and submissives feel about dishonesty.
The questions and answers also allow us to get to know the reality of each other a little more.
There are many pitfalls online (dishonesty) but in reality those pitfalls exist in R/T relationshis as well...no one is under 24 hour a day surviellance (sp?)..not even My 24/7 slave.
Please continue to ask and answer from your own needs for information, opinions and experience.

 

[Shadowsdream]

relationshis = relationships...arghhhhhh!

 

[tn_8tiv]

As my grandaddy once told me, if you can't tell the truth, don't say anything. A true relationship will stand the test of truth in the long run. You may have a temporary setback, but in the end, everything will work out for the best.

Welcome to Lit.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

I am new here and am sorry if this is in the wrong place, but i was just curious, in an online relationship have you ever not done what He told you to do and said you had?

if so did you end up telling Him?

HA yes!!!! OMG yeah. more then one thing.. some rather serious.

and yeah I told him. I cant lie to the dude. He knows it if I do LMAO
dont ask me how he just does.
so since hes gonna know migt as well be truthful

 

[His_sugar]

I started this thread because I truly wanted to know how others felt, I have been getting some rude comments in my PM about how by me not telling the truth, and I never said I lied to Him, I am making a bad name for others.

to them I say, if you dont like it, dont read it, i came here for friendship and to learn how can you learn if you dont ask

i am sorry some of the rudies found their way to your box. Sometimes they don't think before they speak. i think your question was very valid.

In my opinion alot of people use the disguise of having a D/s relationship online simply because :

1. Then men/women think it would be cool to say they are dominant and make girls/boys do anything they say..

2. girls/boys think if they say they are submissive or a slave, it is the best way for them to get to act slutty online without being judged.


i call this the 'get off factor'. Online for alot of people is all about roleplaying, cybering and getting off. i am perfectly okay with that.. and with that comes people saying they are doing things they would NEVER consider doing. It doesn't make it wrong, to each their own i say.

i think people that are serious about whatever place they have found in the lifestyle, who are in what i consider to be committed online relationships, don't really bothering lying when asked to perform a task.

Just my 2cents..

Have a good day!!

 

[Moyds_jewel]

Re: another sub in an online relationship

Whilst i respect Ebony and Shadowsdream for their preferences; for some of us, having an online relationship is the only available choice at times. Whether its due to not having the opportunity or simply because life is too busy to search for that much needed Master, a Cyber Master can be a great comfort to a submissive's mind. Giving the sub the control she /he requires, even if it is only control of the mind.

Speaking from my point of experience, misleading my Master is not fair to either one of us. How can i take Him seriously if i knowingly lie to Him? What effect does that have on my respect for Him? Granted, my Master is considerate of my working hours and the type of work that i do. He knows that at times my job takes a toll on me physically and i need my rest. Other times, He is well aware of my needs, as He knows me very well.
Through His conditioning, i find myself thinking of What would Master say/think; before i undertake anything. He is constantly with me in my mind, heart, and soul.
my point to this is; if i am going to mislead Him, what is the point of being in this type of relationship??

i would love to be able to have a R.L Master, but its not a reality at this time

Ditto, k.

Master and I agreed to be honest from the very start. I simply do not lie to him. Aside from the fact that to do so would be utterly pointless and devalue the relationship, lieing destroys trust. D/s - online or real life - cannot function without trust.

jewel

 

[lark sparrow]

I started this thread because I truly wanted to know how others felt, I have been getting some rude comments in my PM about how by me not telling the truth, and I never said I lied to Him, I am making a bad name for others.

to them I say, if you dont like it, dont read it, i came here for friendship and to learn how can you learn if you dont ask

Sorry you received those PMs, tyingemu, but I wouldn't let it stop you from posting your questions and ideas!

This, as a general topic has come up quite a bit, and I thought maybe you would enjoy going through some of the threads that relate to this topic in one way or another. I will include them, and of course do not feel obligated to read, but here they are. And keep posting!

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=129737

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=107626

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=146734

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=146281

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=131865

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=133684

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=133606

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=109000

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=112598

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=108111

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=105525

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=111405

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=110006

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=107420

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=107406

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=105897

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=96358

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=69600

 

[Ebonyfire]

I started this thread because I truly wanted to know how others felt, I have been getting some rude comments in my PM about how by me not telling the truth, and I never said I lied to Him, I am making a bad name for others.

to them I say, if you dont like it, dont read it, i came here for friendship and to learn how can you learn if you dont ask

Ignore the pms. It seems that assumptions can rule the day on Lit.

Some people like to disrupt other people when they think they know the "truth".

These are the very people who in the long run know nothing at all.

Keep posting.

 

[tyingemu]

thank you for the kind words, most of the people here have welcomed me with open arms and made me feel welcome

guess i'm just too sensitve to others remarks

 

[Ebonyfire]

thank you for the kind words, most of the people here have welcomed me with open arms and made me feel welcome

guess i'm just too sensitve to others remarks

Besides it is a good thread.

MissT has posted the others, so all points of view should be covered.

 

[Pixie Mischief]

thank you for the kind words, most of the people here have welcomed me with open arms and made me feel welcome

guess i'm just too sensitve to others remarks

me to. I'm very sensitive to cirtisism.

but you know it really doesnt matter with others think. other then people you care. doesnt matter what strangers think. because it doesnt change anything doesnt change the truth.
the truth you know.

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Oh My!!

I started this thread because I truly wanted to know how others felt, I have been getting some rude comments in my PM about how by me not telling the truth, and I never said I lied to Him, I am making a bad name for others.

to them I say, if you dont like it, dont read it, i came here for friendship and to learn how can you learn if you dont ask

i haven't been back to this thread in several days and now i see this??? What the ?
Tyingemu Dear; its a wonderful thread and i'm happy that you started it. i find it hard t believe that some would take offense to your question, but i suppose there are all types.
Don't worry Babe, i think there are many here who support you and are happy that you began this thread. me for one!
Be well and happy tyingemu!

-kym- trying to understand some people

 

[Pixie Mischief]

well speaking of this thread LOL I'm guilty right now.

Lied to him... 2 times well one anyway.

most of you know that I'm disabled and 4 foot. ANYWAYS...
I have trouble with cumming.. which is why I have rules on masturbation (we have rules for each other rather funny well he makes them up and I agree pretty much LMAO) anyway the only reason for them is because I have problems with being shy and orgasms. if I didnt have any problems.. then he could careless when I masturbate.
anyway.... I am tiny and I had trouble adjusting to his penis when he was here..... never fully did.. and since its been a year well I may not be a virgin anymore but still things kinda shrink back LOL
I had a few toys in a box but never used them.. decided to get my smaller one out of the box thought I could use it in playtime on the phone.. well OK I'm not suppose to really masturbate unless with him.. I can but only if I Cant wait.. oddly I Think it maybe a test.... cause he says I can if I have to. BUT when I do.. he makes a rude comment..
anyway.. I masturbated with the toy on thursday.... yeah and today he calls and wants to play this is not the first time that I play and he ends up wanting to the next day. I keep swearing to myself. couldnt I have waited one more day? LOL
anyway on the phone he asked me if I had used it yet.....
I said no.... LOL
didnt say I masturbated the day before either.....
he made me promise to only use the toy when with him. (btw.. we dont have an D/s relationship arangement... the more it goes... the more I think hes a switch just doesnt see it.. primarly a Dom though.. but I dont know much about this.. I'm not complaining I love him and I'm not being harmed so it dont realy matter)
I promised and I plan to keep that one.
but anyway took me an hour to cum. LOL he hurt his penis from jerkin off too much he was waiting to cum with me. geez if hes hurting he can just cum you know! lol
tis funny I was like you know what I dont think... I just have alot on my mind (lots of family problems).. he was like "Shut up! continue"
ummm OK!!! LOL
anyway yeah I lied kinda 2 times on this... fact that it took me one hour..
he didnt accuse me but I can sense hes wondering if I've been masturbating everyday.. which isnt true.. not sure what happened. I'm very stressed and I have trouble cumming to begin with so everything together.

you know.. I feel really guilty.. my recommendation is to not do what Iv'e done lol
BE TRUTHFUL!!! lies tend to come around and bite ya in the ass (wish it was literaly mm lol)
Because I dont know about him but my bf can smell my lies. LOL
its very possible that he knows I lied today.

Truth is easier to forgive then lies. ALWAYS much easier.
at least you have the guts to be honest.

and also I'm very sorry you got rude messages.
its not very mature of them.. How can you learn if you dont ask qestions???
Tis how you learn by askin questions and observing things.
if you need to talk send me a PM.. because I can understand about the long distance relationship and ect.
Good luck!!!! and blessings to you

 

[Ebonyfire]

Dissenting Opinions

are not criticisms nor should they be thought of as such.

So, there is no need to defend yourself. Also, there is no need to be drawn into a debate if you do not want to. I don't debate cause I ain't paid enough to do so. Debate is work. I get paid for working.

Besides if you are happy with your choices, who cares what a lot of anonymous computer jockeys think?

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Re: Dissenting Opinions

Excatly I mean why should it matter?? what they think?? you wont even meet them.

are not criticisms nor should they be thought of as such.

So, there is no need to defend yourself. Also, there is no need to be drawn into a debate if you do not want to. I don't debate cause I ain't paid enough to do so. Debate is work. I get paid for working.

Besides if you are happy with your choices, who cares what a lot of anonymous computer jockeys think?

 

[Sir200372]

I do believe you need to ask questions to learn. Just watch who you are asking as your answer may not be as accurate as you wish it was. Also to lie would be a gross misconception of everything the lifestyle means, so if you do not wish to speak the truth at all times, the best thing is not to speak at all. But questions are always welcome...

 

[Pixie Mischief]

I do believe you need to ask questions to learn. Just watch who you are asking as your answer may not be as accurate as you wish it was. Also to lie would be a gross misconception of everything the lifestyle means, so if you do not wish to speak the truth at all times, the best thing is not to speak at all. But questions are always welcome...

you know thats very good advice.. FOR EVERYONE LOL
I rarely lie to him I dont need to since he knows it if I do LOL
He didnt ask if I had masturbated the day before. so I didnt tell him
thats not a lie
with how it went last night. if he had know I had the night before
hed have been pissed off. LOL I'm having such troubles at home. I wasnt gonna give out the info when it wasnt requested.
I find it funny he preaches equality between a couple..
*shakes her head*
hes a ODD ODD man.

I just cant wait to have him back in my bed

 

[Pixie Mischief]

another example is today.. BF was telling me a story.
and I was you know hehe.... and he was teasing me in the story.
kissing my legs but not between my legs.
after the story I said "Since when are you a tease?"
I need to add he doesnt like teasing. anyway he said "lol but you like that kinda thing. I dont." I asked if I had told him.
he said no that he just knew me.. LMAO wow!
I already knew he was a very observent person but not this much.
he said "babe remember i am just observent. so i can see things that you would not normally say. i read actions as well as words" guess I was showing some worry cause he then said
"no worries babe just helps me better pleasure you"
this is also why I cant lie to him. He knows.
he just does. he should be a detective LMAO
hm like in person he was playing rougher with my nipples but I didnt tell him to stop was going to but didnt. He did and said hed leavethem alone. hes very observent.

I could bet that this is a Dom trait. You MUST be observent so you know by observing if the person has had really enough and ect.
Hense the sub couldnt lie even if they wished to because they would KNOW.
pretty much the same way as my bf does.

but I dont think bf learned to be observent he just is.
too much for my taste! cant keep anything from him lol
tis should make my sex life rather intersting. what I fear is that he may try stuff that hes right I'm interested. BUT sometimes being interested and doing is different. But hey. thats what communication is for.
Communicate how you feel and such during and the likes.

tyingemu, if your Master is as observent as my bf is.
he will KNOW if you've done something you shouldnt have just by how you talk to stand or even type.
I find it a little scary. Someone knowing you soo well.. makes you feel exposed. but also rather intriguing because you know it will never be boring

 

[Kalypso]

I am new here and am sorry if this is in the wrong place, but i was just curious, in an online relationship have you ever not done what He told you to do and said you had?

if so did you end up telling Him?

Never did I not do what he asked. The only time I had hesitation it was discussed beforehand. Not once did I not follow through with his requests.

 

[Richard49]

Though online only realtionships are not something that reall yblows my skirt up .... I have had lots of bad experences with them

for many others it is all that they have/can have

Like the Pixie many of us have had a combination of online and STS with a person .....

The honesty issue IMHO is the beginning and end of any realtionship

but that is just my opinion
and I like this thread

 

[Pixie Mischief]

STS???
but yeah tis not something I chose tis the way it has to be for now.
If it was up to me I'd have moved over there but its not always that easy hehe
seeing him a month a year is not enough lol
Something a person may not like but they are the way they are.
And only time can change it. Either will make it and be strong for it.
Or the 2 will break up.

Though online only realtionships are not something that reall yblows my skirt up .... I have had lots of bad experences with them

for many others it is all that they have/can have

Like the Pixie many of us have had a combination of online and STS with a person .....

The honesty issue IMHO is the beginning and end of any realtionship

but that is just my opinion
and I like this thread

 

[Richard49]

STS???

skin to skin