Oral sex is more intimate than penetrative sex.

[Senor_Smut]

It's an interesting topic. I've always felt that oral is extremely intimate, especially because usually eye contact can be established and maintained, and nothing is more intimate than that. The main thing that keeps it from being more erotic than penetrative intercourse is that the giver can't talk while performing, and I'm a major fan of dirty talk. OTOH, I can see where someone would find that aspect to be very intimate indeed, in that the giver sacrifices the right to communicate verbally for the purpose of giving the receiver pleasure.

 

[lovecraft68]

Um...no.

Both can be intimate, both can be quick and meaningless, but one is not more or less intimate than the other, all depends on the people involved, the circumstance, their relationship.

Just a base generalization.

 

[Ren_eh]

**confused** She asks: "is a penis in my throat NOT penetrative sex?"

 

[SavannaT]

Worshipping a cock with my mouth is submission, letting it creampie me its the thought of being bred that takes that to the next level though.

 

[jehoram]

I think that, for many women anyway, allowing a partner to give her oral sex is what makes it intimate. She's so indoctrinated in the fact that her pubic area is dirty and messy that it takes a leap of faith and trust to make that concession to her guy or gal.

 

[lc69hunter]

I tend to agree with the author.

A woman who has elevated her oral skills to an artform will suck a man's very essence and soul out of the head of his penis along with his cum, and she will own him until she chooses not to.

On the flip side, the best compliment a man can receive is that he eats pussy like a girl.

 

[nice90sguy]

I love oral sex, especially when there's something really good on TV.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

As much as I love to give oral, face to face fucking is the most intimate thing to me.

 

[Ren_eh]

I think that, for many women anyway, allowing a partner to give her oral sex is what makes it intimate. She's so indoctrinated in the fact that her pubic area is dirty and messy that it takes a leap of faith and trust to make that concession to her guy or gal.

I've never known anyone . . . including that backward gal behind the vanity in the bathroom . . . who thought that my private parts were dirty. But, that's just those whom I've invited or allowed between my legs . . . not a representative sample.

 

[nice90sguy]

Seriously, I know that this thread topic is kind of a school playground level "what do you prefer", and people have declared (and explained?) their preferences here, taking it in the spirit it was asked.

For me, giving oral sex is most pleasurable, certainly with my current partner, for both of us. I'm not sure I'd call it "intimate", though.

A lot of it is simply anatomy and physiology: I'm much taller than my partner, and missionary means that I'm usually gazing lovingly at a pillow rather than into her eyes when we do it that way. Also, as my partner is not so young anymore and I'm (ahem) kind of big, lube is now necessary for her not to find it uncomfortable, which isn't all that great. It takes me three times longer to reach orgasm than her too, so we need to "take turns".

There's also a dom/submissive element to oral sex which is a big turn-on for me. Serving a pussy orally feels amazing to me, although ironically, my partner feels like she's the submissive one when we do it, and she loves when I grab her wrists and pinion her arms to the bed when I go down on her.

It's taken me a while to get her to understand that sex is not simply about orgasms for men, contrary to the myth. Guys want the intimacy of sex just as much as women. I have to tell her, "if I only want an orgasm I can simply jerk myself off".

But really, for me, sex is NOT when I feel the most intimate with my partner. It's when I take her hand when we cross the road, or she falls asleep in my arms when we're watching a movie, or we're cooking together, or out hiking.

 

[XerXesXu]

Isn't it foreplay? After you're aroused what do you do?

 

[nice90sguy]

Isn't it foreplay? After you're aroused what do you do?

keep going

 

[Cindy027]

Scientifically, the body's three most nerve-concentrated areas are the fingertips, the anus, and the lips. Since kissing the fingers seems rather pointless, it would be more practical to focus on the second area on the list.

LOL, Scientifically eh? Maybe in men, maybe. In women the highest concentration of nerves is in the clitoris, then fingers I think etc. You must be a guy, couldn't access your profile, but guys and anal boggles the mind.

 

[AlinaX]

Somehow misread that as 'anal goggles' and am still trying to work out what they are.

 

[Carnevil9]

I'm in the camp that feels oral is much more intimate than groinocological sex. I'm not sure what that exactly means, but it feels more intimate and personal to me. I can fuck anyone who will let me, and cum in them with no problem, but I've never been able to cum in a lady's mouth until we've been together long enough to really feel comfortable together.

 

[Ren_eh]

LOL, Scientifically eh? Maybe in men, maybe. In women the highest concentration of nerves is in the clitoris, then fingers I think etc. You must be a guy, couldn't access your profile, but guys and anal boggles the mind.

Clitoris . . . clitoris . . . what is that?

Signed, Millions of guys and most pre-1990 medical textbooks.

 

[Lifestyle66]

My wife has perfected her oral skills to a very seductive art, and I tend to write that into my stories. But in real life, ...

My wife will sometimes come out of our bedroom after a shower, walk naked into the kitchen and fix herself a martini. Taking a sip, she'll saunter seductively into the living room, and announce "I feel like sucking cock tonight."

She'll set her drink down on an end table and toss pillows onto the floor in front of me, kneeling there as I slide forward on my chair, giving her easy access to my balls. She teases the head of my member with her tongue, then takes the shaft into her mouth to start getting me hard, bobbing her head and looking up at me to occasionally make eye contact. When it's mostly hard, she'll hold the shaft in her right hand as she drops her lips to my balls, taking turns sucking on them as she strokes the shaft beside her cheek. Then she'll drop down lower, licking the spot below and between my balls, before planting her lips there to suck as she jerks my cock at her forehead.

She'll look up at my eyes, and as she feels my cock stiffen as hard as possible and I begin to moan in pleasure, she does the same moaning. She'll begin moaning and slip her hand down between her legs, playing with her clit. Sometimes, when she plans ahead, she'll have a bullet vibrator in her left hand to assist, trying to time her own orgasm with mine.

She moans with encouragement and affirmative sounds like "Uh huh, uh huh...", stroking the shaft faster and sucking harder. She often takes the stiff shaft into her mouth, and presses down onto it, with the head pushing against the back of her throat, trying to deepthroat it. Usually, she'll gag and back off. But she'll try it again at least three times before giving up. On a few occasions over the years, she succeeded, and I felt the tightness of her throat as it slipped past her resistance and her nose pressed against me, holding that position for a few seconds without gagging. And she takes pride in knowing she's accomplished that feat.

When I start bucking my hips and she senses I'm getting close, she'll take the head back into her mouth and bob on it until I grasp her head to stop her, when I feel I'm about to cum. She knows the signal and positions the head within her lips to give me room as I shoot my load and the stream begins to fill her mouth. She makes and holds eye contact with me as I pulse into her mouth. One time, I stood as I was about to orgasm, and she sat back on her heels, tilting her head up a little and opening her mouth as I watched the stream shooting into her open mouth and pooling behind her lower teeth.

Then when she knows I've finished, she'll pull her mouth off, closing her lips so as to not miss a drop and look at me as she swallows (most of the time). Sometimes, if I'm a little dehydrated or ate some spicy food earlier, she doesn't like the thickness or taste, and she'll get up to run to sink to spit it out and rinse her mouth.


My wife is admittedly selfish, always saying "It's all about ME first" in everything she does and wants. She also takes control in every situation, always telling others what she wants and what she expects them to do. With me, her husband in particular, she can be very demanding and short tempered when things don't go as planned. So, I see her giving me a blowjob as her special treat, as if saying "I know I'm a bitch, but I do love you. So, for everything you do for me, sit there and enjoy this."

Normal PiV sex is about getting both of us off. But her oral is when she's doing it for ME, and I consider that her ultimate act of intimacy, ... her gift to me. And if she can do that for me, I'll do my best to give her everything else she wants.

 

[JCSTREET]

I've always thought this. I'm not entirely sure why. But to me (in both real life and in fiction), oral sex is the most intimate sexual act there is. I look forward to writing oral sex far more than writing penetrative sex.

Maybe it's because our sexy organs were always designed to fit together; because penetrative sex is, in some way at least, a physical process of reproduction. Oral sex transcends that natural fact. It is not a process of evolution (at least in the same way).

Maybe it's because oral sex is fundamentally a gift, rather than a mutual experience. There are exceptions, but giving oral sex doesn't have to involve receiving pleasure in return (physical pleasure, that is). You are stimulating your partner without being stimulated in return. You are gifting them an experience that you yourself are not experiencing. I'll admit that in this case, there is something to be said about the reverse of this - in penetrative sex, you are experiencing a mutual thing together, and that bond can be extremely powerful.

Anyway, maybe - and I think this might be the reason for me - it's because oral sex involves your face. A person's face is their most human aspect. When I'm love with someone, it is their face and their smile which I fall in love with. That is the most unique part of their body, the part which I connect to most. It's their face, for goodness' sake! Cute!!! So, when a person is using their mouth to pleasure you, they are using the most human part of their body to pleasure you; the most personal part of their body. That feels more intimate and more connected to me than using sexual organs.

This all applies (in my opinion) to erotica too. My favourite sex scenes to write are oral ones, and my favourite sex scenes to read are oral ones. It feels more tactile, somehow. It feels more intimate. Part of the reason writing oral sex can be more fun is that there is simply more to write about. People have less control over their sexual organs than they do their tongue and mouth, so there is less specificity to get into when it comes to penetrative sex.

I don't know what others think about the matter, and I'm not sure that I'm even expecting a reply to this thread, but I felt like trying to articulate myself. I'll also add that, more important than the sexual act is the context: oral sex and penetrative sex can both be supremely non-intimate. They can both be forms of fast physical pleasure. But in the context of romantic sex, I think oral sex is more intimate when done properly.

Perhaps it's the gorgeous mouthfeel of his throbbing boner, pistoning in and out of your warm, sucking mouth, into which soon he spurts and gushes tidal waves of sweet jism - filling your yearning throat and then sort of Niagara's down the hungry tunnel. Perhaps, once unloaded he needs to piss all over your face and perhaps a little into your mouth, to get back to physiological stasis. Only a guess. Could be dead wrong, particularly if I also imagined that you were being pegged by an intelligent woman who's an inveterate reader and has a dry wit.

 

[HeyAll]

Me as well. Oral sex in erotica is more engaging than intercourse. More interesting to write, more interesting to read.

 

[Whanmore]

I Mean.. I love writing and receiving and giving oral sex too, but

When your literally inside of someone both groaning in pure delight, unrestrained, staring into each others' eyes, lips, to lips ,nipples to nipples and he literally pours some of his essence into your most sensitive of areas, simultaneously feeling the warm release from each others' crushing and gripping climax, and watch the soul flicker in the other's eyes...

Then 18 years years later you two are holding hands beaming at a high school graduation, proud at what u accomplished all those nights ago. ..

Kind of hard to get more intimate than that.

Respectfully.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I Mean.. I love writing and receiving and giving oral sex too, but

When your literally inside of someone both groaning in pure delight, unrestrained, staring into each others' eyes, lips, to lips ,nipples to nipples and he literally pours some of his essence into your most sensitive of areas, simultaneously feeling the warm release from each others' crushing and gripping climax, and watch the soul flicker in the other's eyes...

Then 18 years years later you two are holding hands beaming at a high school graduation, proud at what u accomplished all those nights ago. ..

Kind of hard to get more intimate than that.

Respectfully.

True.

But for those of us past our child--bearing years... we see things differently, and pregnancy is not in the picture.

 

[nice90sguy]

I Mean.. I love writing and receiving and giving oral sex too, but

When your literally inside of someone both groaning in pure delight, unrestrained, staring into each others' eyes, lips, to lips ,nipples to nipples and he literally pours some of his essence into your most sensitive of areas, simultaneously feeling the warm release from each others' crushing and gripping climax, and watch the soul flicker in the other's eyes...

Then 18 years years later you two are holding hands beaming at a high school graduation, proud at what u accomplished all those nights ago. ..

Kind of hard to get more intimate than that.

Respectfully.

I "liked" that reply, but the thumbs-up doesn't mean I agree.

Having said that, I think the most intimate sex I've had was a "quick fuck", missionary, with my girlfirend, on the floor in the study of my parents house. Not lips to lips: I'd raised my head to look down at her, supporting myself with straight arms and curling my back like in the yoga "cobra" position, and stared into her eyes, and got completely hypnotised by them. Simultaneous climax. That was a real pair-bonding, soul-uniting experience; we ended up married for twenty years.

The few times I've done 69 were really sexy (ok I'm an ass-man), but almost too dirty to feel "intimate". Ditto any kinky stuff for me (light bondage, role-play): That makes sex fun for me, but actually reduces the intimacy.