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Orgasm denial

In a D/s relationship, orgasm management is paramount. Everything changed when we agreed that I was not to ejaculate without her permission. First and foremost, all masturbation stopped. Previously, when I was sexually frustrated or anxious, I would wank. Now, I must go to her to tell her how I am feeling — which is what I always should have been doing of course (but I still find humiliating). Secondly, the longer I go without release, and it is generally 3-4 weeks, the more my desire for her builds and I am very responsive to her teases — which she likes. Third, and perhaps most importantly, now when I am allowed pussy worship, I am 100% focused on Her and Her pleasure. My little penis is either tucked (as though it doesn’t exist) or held very tightly by a firm control girdle so that I do not cum. I become totally immersed in the experience of providing Her pleasure and literally “feel one with Her” when She climaxes as though it is a shared experience. My body trembles with Hers. I never experienced that when my focus was getting off.

In addition, psychologically, it is very meaningful to know that I have acknowledged that I am better off with Her controlling my little penis. I am so lucky that She does. Our lives are better for it!
 
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NancyPan said:
In a D/s relationship, orgasm management is paramount. Everything changed when we agreed that I was not to ejaculate without her permission. First and foremost, all masturbation stopped. Previously, when I was sexually frustrated or anxious, I would wank. Now, I must go to her to tell her how I am feeling — which is what I always should have been doing of course (but I still find humiliating). Secondly, the longer I go without release, and it is generally 3-4 weeks, the more my desire for her builds and I am very responsive to her teases — which she likes. Third, and perhaps most importantly, now when I am allowed pussy worship, I am 100% focused on Her and Her pleasure. My little penis is either tucked (as though it doesn’t exist) or held very tightly by a firm control girdle so that I do not cum. I become totally immersed in the experience of providing Her pleasure and literally “feel one with Her” when She climaxes as though it is a shared experience. My body trembles with Hers. I never experienced that when my focus was getting off.

In addition, psychologically, it is very meaningful to know that I have acknowledged that I am better off with Her controlling my little penis. I am so lucky that She does. Our lives are better for it!
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you sound like perfection to me.
 
Damn I am on day 11 and have at least 5 more days. Maybe longer.

Tonight will be my first big challenge. Hubby is out of town. I been alone about 6 hours and I am going crazy. I have about 24 more till he returns.

This period of denial is a punishment. I am learning my lesson, that is for sure.
 
kinked_a_bit said:
I have long believed that orgasm denial is good for men and bad for women.

A man will be more obedient and eager to serve if his orgasm is strictly controlled by his dominant. Men get lazy and develop selective submission when they cum too often.

A female in submission works differently, and should be giving as many orgasms as she can handle, preferably directly from her dominant.
She will be a grateful and happy slave.
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I agree with you. I am being punished with my denial. And it is hard. I am also much less interested in being a good sub or even sex.
But I deserve the punishment.
 
I caught an STD. The guy had a false negative on his test, but regardless. Hubby can't have my pussy for 14 days. I can't have an orgasm (plus a couple extra days for other infractions).
 
kinked_a_bit said:
I have long believed that orgasm denial is good for men and bad for women.

A man will be more obedient and eager to serve if his orgasm is strictly controlled by his dominant. Men get lazy and develop selective submission when they cum too often.

A female in submission works differently, and should be giving as many orgasms as she can handle, preferably directly from her dominant.
She will be a grateful and happy slave.
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Since I am submissive to Women, I can’t imagine my Wife being denied. However, I do accept that it is best for me to have my orgasms managed. Last night I was allowed to worship Her and provide Her with what She reported was a most wonderful orgasm. She thought it best that I stayed denied, a decision which I humbly accepted. No reason was given. She does not need to give a reason, but She allowed me a spurt just 8 days ago, and I know She prefers my focus on Her. I was extremely grateful for the opportunity to worship Her.

To me, and in our relationship, orgasm denial is not a form of punishment. My arousal is a reward, of course, and sustained arousal is good for me and does make me more submissive. My orgasms are rewards, but being allowed to worship her, even if I remain denied, is also a reward and a tremendous privilege.

She would not withhold my orgasms as a punishment, although She would withhold access to her pussy and Her luscious breasts.
 
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Update on my orgasm denial, currently 15 days: last night after worshipping her and her orgasm, she brought up that it had been a while since I had last cum.
SHE: “Would you like to cum?”
me: “Yes.”
SHE: “But you know what it does to your arousal. You are not as fun to tease for a few days.”
me: “umm, true, but…”
SHE: “And you are not quite as compliant and cooperative for a few days after I let you cum.”
me: “I will try my best.”
SHE: “We have company coming in a week. There will be lots for you to do. I think it is best for you to wait.”
me: (after a moment to digest this) “Thank you for managing my orgasms. You know what is best for me. And thank you for allowing me to give you pleasure tonight. It was very special.”
SHE: “You are very welcome, such a good panty boy!”

I accept that She knows what is best for me. Many years ago I would have fucked her and she may or or may not have had an orgasm, but I would have been sure that I got off. Those selfish days are long gone, and we both are much happier!
 
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NancyPan said:
Update on my orgasm denial, currently 15 days: last night after worshipping her and her orgasm, she brought up that it had been a while since I had last cum.
SHE: “Would you like to cum?”
me: “Yes.”
SHE: “But you know what it does to your arousal. You are not as fun to tease for a few days.”
me: “umm, true, but…”
SHE: “And you are not quite as compliant and cooperative for a few days after I let you cum.”
me: “I will try my best.”
SHE: “We have company coming in a week. There will be lots for you to do. I think it is best for you to wait.”
me: (after a moment to digest this) “Thank you for managing my orgasms. You know what is best for me. And thank you for allowing me to give you pleasure tonight. It was very special.”
SHE: “You are very welcome, such a good panty boy!”

I accept that She knows what is best for me. Many years ago I would have fucked her and she may or or may not have had an orgasm, but I would have been sure that I got off. Those selfish days are long gone, and we both are much happier!
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This is a beautiful story. I am also on several weeks without cumming, and I also agree that orgasm control is the best thing that’s ever happened to us.

It gives her many orgasms, and put my love and attention squarely in her court, which is where she likes it.

I too, think I will be released next weekend. But late Sunday night…
 
emme8 said:
I agree with you. I am being punished with my denial. And it is hard. I am also much less interested in being a good sub or even sex.
But I deserve the punishment.
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I had a girl friend / friend with benefits that had a girl friend that she punished with icy hot on and in her pussy. It was harsh to me, but somehow I think she liked it. She kept doing things to get punished.
 
Punishments are tricky in D/s relationships. Although, as a sub, I do believe that allowing me to cum works as a reward, withholding it is not as effective a punishment as other things. In general, I think most people are more motivated by the promise of rewards and the typical sub wants to please their Domme. The obvious exception is the masochist who enjoys and has fetishized punishment and pain. In that case, the sub is actually being rewarded by being punished.

When my wife really wants to discipline me and “remind me who is boss” she will do so by taking away privileges, for example not allowing me to wear panties, not allowing me to see her undressed, to touch her, etc.
 
NancyPan said:
Punishments are tricky in D/s relationships. Although, as a sub, I do believe that allowing me to cum works as a reward, withholding it is not as effective a punishment as other things. In general, I think most people are more motivated by the promise of rewards and the typical sub wants to please their Domme. The obvious exception is the masochist who enjoys and has fetishized punishment and pain. In that case, the sub is actually being rewarded by being punished.

When my wife really wants to discipline me and “remind me who is boss” she will do so by taking away privileges, for example not allowing me to wear panties, not allowing me to see her undressed, to touch her, etc.
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Makes sense.
 
My wife denied me for 4 months. She gave me a date that I could be able to cum. Finally that night came and I exploded.
 
I was told on Friday night that I could not climax again until I was given permission. The effect on me is instant. Ever since I've felt like I'm about to get hard or start leaking.

In the past when I'm denied I become very submissive as someone mentioned. My limits change, I guess I become desperate.

I have no idea when I will be allowed to climax. I always end up begging and making some sort of deal to get permission. This time I have told myself I am not going to ask, I am going to wait until I'm told it's ok.

Yeah... we'll see how long that lasts.
 
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Massive fan, and just starting to explore more and learn about it. It started for me one time when I had a ruined orgasm in normal sex with my wife. Stuff came out but I didn't feel the finality of it. We stopped because I was confused. Since then I've been trying reckon with it and understand where to take it. What I like is the overall 'warm' feeling I have when I'm waiting. I can do the rest of my day, but there's always this feeling of need and want. I like that because it's forcing focus.
 
Crownvic said:
No one should denied 4 months...that’s cruel...
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Hard to judge for someone else. When my wife and I first discussed it, she thought I should cum every time we had sex. She didn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to cum as often as I could. After we agreed to experiment it didn’t take long for her to see, and begin to enjoy, that getting me into a heightened state of arousal and denying me was powerful and kept me on edge and lusting for her (as well as compliant). Now she sees that denying me is a gift. It excites me that it is not my choice. I love being in a sustained state of arousal, and she likes it when she knows my focus is entirely on her, not my own orgasm. Four months would be hard for me, but we have gone six weeks, and the teasing was incredible! She finds it amusing, after I’ve been denied several days, how quickly she can get me to spring an erection. “Look at you,” she will say (and laugh), “So easy, so pussy whipped.”

Done right, orgasm denial is a gift (teased and denial).
 
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We practice more orgasm control. Im not an author so there’s more context to it our situation. But we know a few people that live in the lifestyle and work in the lifestyle. So we hear a lot of information. Many years ago we bought out first chastity cage. It wasn’t because of cheating or anything but more of a transfer of control. There is an orgasm denial component to it since I just can’t jack off anytime I want. Mostly its orgasm control, I gave/offered control of my penis to my wife, after we talked about it. We were already close but it brought us closer. It’s a responsibility she took and neither one of us regret it.
 
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For the last week I've given control of my orgasms to a male Master. Both orgasm denial and serving a man are firsts for me. The orgasm denial combined with edging has been a powerful and emotional shock to me. My balls ache, my needs are heightened.
 
artslut86 said:
And... my D found this shot. I got punished for sharing her cock online. I have a hard time making good choices when the loads build up it seems. Lol.
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We do let our load control is don't we. I would like being your sister hold each other and suffering together
 
Two nights ago I was allowed release after 27 days. It was incredible how preoccupied I was becoming with thoughts of her pussy. In some ways I felt like a teenager because I was getting several erections throughout the day and waking up hard. The urge to wank was ever-present, but she forbids it, and she does ask (and I will not lie to her. Why would I? I asked her to dominate me.). My spurt was very powerful! I can already feel the pressure beginning to build again. My desire for her is as strong as ever!
 
Jale321 said:
My Dom uses orgasm denial as training/for his pleasure for a future event. He thinks my pleasure will be greater then. I feel I am being punished. What are your thoughts?
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orgasm denialis the way to enjoy you
 
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