Owning Toys

[Sprinkles22]

I have an extensive collection of insertable/sexual toys that my Master uses to His advantage when we are apart. In fact, He finds it amusing when I visit the 'toy' store and buy something new; He knows I cannot resist temptation when I visit the boutique. My toys are certainly no threat to His ego or Domness. When we're together, sometimes He uses my toys, sometimes He doesn't. It's just a 'what-ever-the-mood' moment.

Now, my collection of BDSM toys is sparse, because I don't practice BDSM with anyone other than my Master. He had begun a collection of BDSM toys before meeting me, but through our relationship, He has added many more pieces. Some of those items I've had input or suggestion for; others have been a suprise for me. I've always felt comfortable showing Him websites or pictures of toys that catch my interest; I've never felt I was being toppy or disrespectful of His authority. The paddle He uses on me is the exact one I showed Him online; many times He has thanked me for the link (that's usually about the time I'm kicking myself for giving Him the link ... hahaha).

For our anniversary early in the summer, I purchased a matching set of deer hide floggers for Him. He particularly loves flogging, and although He has several different style/material/length floggers, He didn't have a matched short set for Florentine flogging. I thought it was appropriate that I presented Him with that gift; I never thought twice that I would be over stepping any boundaries. My only manipulation to the floggers is that I did order them with a pink braid in the handle because pink is my favorite color, and I do want Him to think about me each time He sees/uses them.

We're in this relationship as a partnership; we communicate our interests and curiosities to one another. Does it mean we practice everything we discuss? No. But it means we're at least honest with each other about our desires. Just recently I informed Him that I've had a growing interest in temp play. Did He think I was being toppy for suggesting we try something He had not yet done? Oh No! I think He got a raging hard-on and called me His little slut

 

[Evil_Geoff]

In a situation similar to Sprinkles and her Master, janey has one rule about buying toys - "If you don't want it used on you, don't buy it for me." I'm quite capable of buying toys she doesn't like all on my own! *LOL*

 

[Kierae]

Jesus I am as old as dirt - I have been buying toys since my first strap on 30 years ago so hello, I have a fucking collection. I am a damn girl scout - I come fucking prepared and you can guarantee I have either used every toy on myself or on someone. I don't consider it the matter of a sub topping from the bottom - I consider it as a person who knows what the hell they like and aren't afraid to speak it. My preference in partners!

~kierae

 

[SirLeo]

Without Play

A good friend of mine believes that toys and play are a key to what makes us uniquily human. So shy, play and play and save some for a rainy day.

Talking to a Dom friend recently, the conversation moved to discuss toys.

Pretty much all of my toys remain in Denmark with Andante, so I have been buying a few new things (particularly toys I have never tried before).

My friend said that in his opinion a sub with toys could be seen as 'topping from the bottom' and trying to control a situation.

He gave the view that if I took toys when I went to see him, he would not use them because he decides what is used, when, not me.

In my opinion, having toys is not outright saying 'use these' it is saying these are an option if you want to try them out.

Few people can afford a good range of toys from insertables, to thud type toys to sharp sting type toys and a sub having some toys gives more options.

It also gives an element of security, if you know you like a particular toy, why not say so and know you will be able to relax and enjoy it as a lead into other things.

Is saying 'I like this flogger/whip/strap' so very different from saying '(X) is a hard limit.'
I see it as an exchange of information, not trying to take control.

His opinion is a new one to me, but then I am not very experienced at many aspects of D/s, having been in so few situations with different people

He did agree that a sub having their own insertable toys is a good idea if they play with several people.


Any opinions on this?