Pain

[Tallcajun]

I've been thinking a lot about this.

A part of me wonders why I don't go to the gym and workout like a masochist? I imagine it would give me a similar sense of endorphins and eventual emptiness. There might be an element of having someone else do that to you. Also, orgasms.

Does anyone think that a "play" partner or a Top (vs your actual partner) can give you that happy, heave cry pain place?? Have you had that experience? I've had many different play moments that included some pain. But it was more just wanting that experience. More like foreplay. Maybe I couldn't let myself go with someone I knew I couldn't fall in to a heap in front of??

The thing is, I feel ready - I crave - having that sensation again. But if I wait around for this loving, trusting relationship in order to give myself permission to fall apart (in a good way), it's going to be a while.

I know another Lit member who craves pain and humiliation. She has trouble finding the right person. She has seeked out professionals to fill her need. That may be a route to persue, cookie.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I know another Lit member who craves pain and humiliation. She has trouble finding the right person. She has seeked out professionals to fill her need. That may be a route to persue, cookie.

*pounce*

 

[AlwaysFara]

Hiney linked this thread to hers, so I’m going to link hers here.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1481906

 

[cookiecat]

Those Playgrounders! Kinky lot!!

Midwestyankee's profile pic has made me very hungry.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Those Playgrounders! Kinky lot!!

Midwestyankee's profile pic has made me very hungry.

Yank in general makes me hungry.

What???


I made a cheeseburger salad tonight.

It wasn’t painful.

 

[cookiecat]

Yank in general makes me hungry.

What???


I made a cheeseburger salad tonight.

It wasn’t painful.

what the heck is in a cheeseburger salad????

 

[AlwaysFara]

what the heck is in a cheeseburger salad????

No carbs.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I like blu’s question on the other thread I linked regarding stingy vs thuddy pain.

What kind of pain do you prefer?

 

[gracie920101]

Thuddy..it reverberates through my whole body and then just throbs until the spot is touched again.

Stingy is sharp and shocking to me and my mind equates it more with punishment rather than funishment.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I can't pick between the two. I like to start with thuddy and have sharp pain mixed in slowly more and more. Sharp pain without much thuddy feels like I'm submitting more in some ways.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I can't pick between the two. I like to start with thuddy and have sharp pain mixed in slowly more and more. Sharp pain without much thuddy feels like I'm submitting more in some ways.

Like it’s just the pain and not the ache?

 

[ultramarineblue]

Like it’s just the pain and not the ache?

Pain can bring me to a place where some aches are released. The ache from the actual pain received is a reminder of how good tree session was. Sometimes that ache lingers beautifully and other times it fades too fast. I'm not sure that I've Walt answered your question at all?

 

[AlwaysFara]

Pain can bring me to a place where some aches are released. The ache from the actual pain received is a reminder of how good tree session was. Sometimes that ache lingers beautifully and other times it fades too fast. I'm not sure that I've Walt answered your question at all?

Sometimes pain is just pain. I don’t get release from pain unless it’s associated with sex.
That’s what I thought you were alluding to.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Sometimes pain is just pain. I don’t get release from pain unless it’s associated with sex.
That’s what I thought you were alluding to.

I understand better now. I usually prefer sex with pain but have had some great experiences without pain.

I have a friend that likes to pinch. I really don't like that pain at all. Usually there is nothing sexual at all associated with the pinching. I almost hate being pinched but submitting to it for his enjoyment gives me a kind of peace. I'm choosing completely to submit to it when I don't want to at all and while there is no sexual release I find myself feeling a different type of release, if that makes sense.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I understand better now. I usually prefer sex with pain but have had some great experiences without pain.

I have a friend that likes to pinch. I really don't like that pain at all. Usually there is nothing sexual at all associated with the pinching. I almost hate being pinched but submitting to it for his enjoyment gives me a kind of peace. I'm choosing completely to submit to it when I don't want to at all and while there is no sexual release I find myself feeling a different type of release, if that makes sense.

But I’ve never had good experiences with pain without sex!

 

[ultramarineblue]

But I’ve never had good experiences with pain without sex!

I don't like the pain itself but I like the fact that I'm submitting to him by accepting it. I never thought I'd feel that way either.

 

[Bramblethorn]

But I’ve never had good experiences with pain without sex!

I'm the other way around. Pressure-point massage and being tattooed, those are/were good experiences for me, but I've never been on the receiving end of pain in sex. I'm not sure if that's just not something I'm into, or if it's something I could enjoy with the right partner.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I'm the other way around. Pressure-point massage and being tattooed, those are/were good experiences for me, but I've never been on the receiving end of pain in sex. I'm not sure if that's just not something I'm into, or if it's something I could enjoy with the right partner.

That’s true.

The pain of the tattoo was somewhat a turn on for me.

Hmmm.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'm the other way around. Pressure-point massage and being tattooed, those are/were good experiences for me, but I've never been on the receiving end of pain in sex.

On second thoughts, make that "intentional pain", since I have just as many "banged my head on the bed" stories as the next klutz.

 

[AlwaysFara]

*bump*

 

[PaxNurgle]

I don't mind mild to moderate spanking and humiliation at the hands of a hot BDSM goddess. I have a relatively low pain threshold/tolerance though, so if its too much it just...well it hurts more than it turns me on, lets just say. But knowing that a hot girl is physically stronger than me and capable of kicking my ass and inflicting serious damage, without her actually doing it- (but definitely giving me a taste) THAT is a huge turn on.

 

[cookiecat]

This resonated on why I want someone to hurt me in an intentional way.

(ok, yes, the focussed bugs me)

 

[UsuallyPresent]

As someone much more on the sado end of the scale than the maso, this helps me kinda understand a bit more why people can enjoy pain. For me, it’s not focusing, nor a turn on, and there’s little sub in my personality - pain is to be avoided or endured.

So, thank you all - I appreciate the insights!

 

[AlwaysFara]

As someone much more on the sado end of the scale than the maso, this helps me kinda understand a bit more why people can enjoy pain. For me, it’s not focusing, nor a turn on, and there’s little sub in my personality - pain is to be avoided or endured.

So, thank you all - I appreciate the insights!

But if you’re sadistic, you should know WHY it makes us squirm, yes?

 

[UsuallyPresent]

But if you’re sadistic, you should know WHY it makes us squirm, yes?

I am (or at least try to be) observant. I feel out partners, exploring and watching, learning that this one prefers thuddy and that one likes being physically overwhelmed, for instance.

Everyone I’ve ever played a scene with has been different, and negotiating in my experience just starts the learning process - my to-be-partner may not have previously tried something I may bring within the negotiated scope, and reactions are critical in deciding whether to stop, use sparingly, or any of the other gradients all the way up to diving in.

So - do I know why a partner loves a little stingy bastinado? Nope, not a mind reader. I just watch and move gently forward, looking for that balance point where pain threatens but never overcomes the pleasure.

Does that make more sense?