Pain

[Wild_Honey_66]

I laugh while he's hurting me, laugh and shriek, until the pain gets to be too much. Is that weird?

I guess because it's exhilarating, like a roller coaster.

 

[Justis]

Yes to what Cookiecat said. Exactly that, thank you for this thread.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I am (or at least try to be) observant. I feel out partners, exploring and watching, learning that this one prefers thuddy and that one likes being physically overwhelmed, for instance.

Everyone I’ve ever played a scene with has been different, and negotiating in my experience just starts the learning process - my to-be-partner may not have previously tried something I may bring within the negotiated scope, and reactions are critical in deciding whether to stop, use sparingly, or any of the other gradients all the way up to diving in.

So - do I know why a partner loves a little stingy bastinado? Nope, not a mind reader. I just watch and move gently forward, looking for that balance point where pain threatens but never overcomes the pleasure.

Does that make more sense?

Pain is pleasure.

But yes, I get it.