Personality Clashes

[~Dream~]

thats true Ruby and Zip

and then there are also Some people that post that are so incredibly 'opinionated" that they only choose to see 1 piece of the pie and Not the whole picture or leave themselves Open for a different perspective ,sad indeed... CONFRONTATIONAL attitudes suck period ,lol

 

[RisiaSkye]

A view from the fence...my rambling PERSONAL opinion only

I've been in the middle of damned near every "personality conflict" in this forum, either because of who my friends are in RL, because of my position, or because I've been here a long time and some people resent that. Also, I'm not above enjoying a good spectacle from the sidelines, which means that occasionally *I* get wrenched into the mosh pit, usually quite by accident. So, I've watched it all with great interest and often great annoyance, knowing I'd be in the position to do clean-up.

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An example: Free Speech vs. the "Required" View. A great deal of disagreement and a flurry of posting took place around the question of free expression and what one is "required" to think in order to post with impunity. I've noticed that whether or not threads were being deleted or posts removed was not *really* the question--very few cared that there was little to no actual censorship going on here. What was happening, however, was that people who were perceived as the "old guard" (most notably cymbidia) were posting their opinions and disagreeing, often vociferously and sometimes very pointedly, with those who didn't see things the same way.

This was read as censorship by some, usually those who felt underappreciated for their expressed opinions or attacked for their posting style; I read, for instance, that anyone who didn't agree with cymbidia was being denied voice. Nobody was ever banned, and VERY few threads or posts have ever been substantially altered or removed from the forum. In reality, almost nothing has ever been censored in the forum.

But, some (not all) people felt criticized for their opinions, often rightly so--because they were being criticized, and sometimes attacked, for them. Instead of actually being censored, people didn't feel they were given equal respect for their opinions. And, I can see where it was a real and alienating problem, particularly for those who had conflicts of both opinions and personalities with the predominant voice(s) of the forum's "old guard."

Of course, there's another side: it's also a complaint which implies both that all opinions are inherently of equal value, and that the forum's members are all obligated to treat every opinion as equally well-informed and valid. That expectation, of course, is ridiculous--the value of any individual person's opinion to those who read it is entirely a subjective call. One person's trash is another's treasure, and vice versa. Equal rights doesn't mean egalitarian results; it never has.

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Most of the forum's big problems have been a question of personality types, first and foremost. To get specific: cymbidia, in particular, was an aggressive, verbal, and intellectual poster with a lot of time on her hands, given to bouts of temper and (sometimes, not all) emotional overreaction, particularly to the actions of men. Lance, on the other hand, is an aggressive, intelligent, sarcastic, often sharp-tongued and extremely critical "Alpha" prone to dismissive treatment of those with whom he disagrees, particularly women. You knew they were going to butt heads from the moment he got here, didn't you?

Similarly, I'm an opinionated, semi-diplomatic, often pedantic word-nazi with a tendency toward patronizing people whose opinions or personas annoy me. Most of the clashes I've had with people, not just here but all over Lit, have been the result of one of those traits coming into direct confrontation with the personality traits of another poster. So it goes, so it goes.

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I'd add one more thing to our list of causes, though: the love of big splashy drama.

I actually agree with Marxist (who I think is often a blowhard & absolute ass, and the feeling is avowedly mutual) on this one point about the forum: BDSMers love drama. This crowd, even more than most, loves a good knock-down, drag-out fight. Some prefer to be the "victims," some rubber-neck from a comfy perch on their/our high horses, and some prefer to be the "victors." No matter how you look at it, though, we like a good spectacle, and we're in love with the drama.

Once again: so it goes, so it goes.
To steal a page from Dennis Miller--of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

RS,
Human & Resident Cynic

 

[MissTaken]

RS rocks!



And that is MY opinion....feast on it.

Thanks. RS for speaking so openly about the issues that have simmered, ebbed and seem to boil from time to time.