Physique and Dominance

[MissTaken]

The most Dominant man I know, was just a bit taller than me.

It was never how tall or how built he was, but rather, how he conducted himself. He exuded strength and confidence with every breath.

 

[Bandit58]

Not sure about the scenario's (except I would likely steer clear of any Dom I found in a fistycuffs), but do know that it has always been the mind and mindset which has done it for me, never the physique. One of the most powerful and commanding Doms I ever met was wheelchair bound...it all came down to his presence and his confidence in being able to dominate with nothing more than a glance. That level of intellect and self assurance is sexy to the max, not to mention captivating.

Catalina

Master is what most people would class as an invalid. But as Catalina says He has a presence and confidence about Him. Even when in hospital a few weeks ago He showed this, when a patient in the next bed attacked a couple of the nurses. Master got up and even being in considerable pain He told the guy to get back in bed or he'd be extremely sorry (not exact words but you get the picture). The guy backed down and stayed put until the security guards arrived.

 

[bluntforcemama]

I'm glad you brought this up. It is easier to submit to someone who has enough strength to overpower me. I have extensive self-defense training and used to kick box regularly. There aren't many people I meet that I couldn't take down. I'm not bragging, it's the truth. So yes, if the Dom/me was a slight person, we'd have some problems to deal with.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I am 5 feet tall, period. On a good day I weigh in at about a buck 25, bad days find me at about 10 pounds more. My petlings have always been bigger, broader, taller than me. It didn't matter then and it does not matter now. I am drawn to people who are bigger than me, simply because I love the thrill of having that person (male or female) yearn to listen (and belong) to me.

Dominance isn't a game I play or a set of clothes I put on, it is a part of me. (Just as my masochism or the color of my skin). It has never been about my physical build. It has always been about my ability to control (and control WELL) myself as well as those around me, in and out of sexual scenes or R/L.

My point to this minor ramble is quite simple: when I fell in love with a Domme, she was just a bit smaller in weight and an inch or so more in height (than I am). I have never found anyone who made me want to give up control the way she did, I doubt I ever will.

It's not about physical strength or stature. It is about presence and the need to mix one's caring with correction and compassion. Neither height nor weight nor the ability to kick someone's ass will give one those things.

Luna

 

[RJMasters]

Some thoughts

As I read most of your posts, I get a sense that the majority tend to see intelectual and emotion strength as the primary source of Domanacy. Or maybe I should say because of who you are, respond to this type of dominacy.

A few have stated that physique is a factor and I can understand that.

I would say that for me the mental and emotional dominance is where it is at. However I also admit "at least on some level" that as a person I have a

Mind
Heart
Body

It would stand to reason then that the body has it's proper place in making me a "whole person". I, like many of you place a greater emphasis on the "inner person". The character, the will, the emotional state, the intellectual control and the wisdom of experience is what I like to think makes up the "Inner person". The body I see is just a shell that holds a person together.

I think, where a person lacks in physique, the other things rise and become stronger to compensate just as a blind person's other senses become more stronger. So it is perfectly understandable how a person in a wheelchair could be an extrememly stong Dom/me.

Last thoughts before I let you all continue, and thank you all for posting your thoughts.

About a month ago I began to work out alot more, and have been losing weight and toning up my body. Eating better etc... I have noticed that my over all being is stronger, I have more confidence in myself. My sexual appetite has increased. Though physique is not as important to me as the "inner man" is, I do see value at least for myself.

I like to try to keep all of me on the same page, and when I look in the mirror and don't see who I really am, I get angry at myself for be so fucking lazy and not keeping myself in good shape. In one sense I see it as a sign of weakness, not because I got a spare tire or my muscles are a bit too flabby for my liking, but because I know I have let myself go. It is then I remind myself, how can you take the responsibility to control another, when you can't control yourself to do 50 sit ups a day.

Granted some may, because of physical impairment not be able to carry this out, I conceed this point and have already stated that I understand how they compensate for such. But for me, since I have no such restrictions, I find to be true to myself, I have to acknowledge some level of failure and face up to the responsibility.

I am glad I am working out now and making an effort. I already see the benifits and rewards for my efforts. I would encourage anyone else to also to take steps to improve their physique. If nothing else, being a healthier person only means you get to be around longer in life to enjoy being who you are.

Peace

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Some thoughts

... when you can't control yourself to do 50 sit ups a day...

You can have no idea what nightmare memories that phrase brings back to me. grrrrrrrrr

 

[s'lara]

Well, we're taught to covet what is most touted as ideal no?

See this image for what one site believes represents a submissive and her Master. Note the perfection of his six pack and strength in the arm gripping her hair.

Now take it out of the D/s context. We are bombarded by images of strength wherein the male figure is often large in stature and has a well put together physique. We tend to see physical strength as a corollary to someone having a great deal of control ... at least the ability to physically control another.

Does physical strength have greater impact when enforcing/showing dominance? That's clearly dependent upon the person on the receiving end of the dominance -- the enforcee. The preference stems mainly from what the enforcee believes represents strength. If the physique of the Dominant is more important than the will of the Dominant, you'll have your category of people who'll be moved by 6', 190-200lb male Dominant and find their physical preference to be the very representation of dominance. Then, there are those enforcee's who find the physique inconsequential (to a degree i suppose -- we all have preferences, even if they are not for the uber-bodied) and relish the will imposed upon them; marveling at how the dominance permeates the aesthetic qualities and hits them beyond the physical.

Whatever floats your boat. i preferred strength of will and intelligence. What we deem as a "presence" is subjective. Very much a similar argument to "what is sexy?"

lara

 

[RJMasters]

Nicely put

Ding! 1000 points awarded to s'lara.

The only thing i would add is that as it is true

Does physical strength have greater impact when enforcing/showing dominance? That's clearly dependent upon the person on the receiving end of the dominance

I also think that from my perspective it can be equally true

That Dominate's view of him/her self plays a role which can effect their "presence". For good or bad or even misconcieved ideals.

Just for "me", I don't feel I need a rippling six pac, but I do want to strike a balance that I feel comfortable and confident about myself.

Too often, I have used reasoning as a means to excuse laziness on my part. It is easy to tell myself the physical don't matter as I put emphasis on what we call "presence" or what I call the "inner person".

I hope some can relate.

Thank you so much for such an excellent post s'lara

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm glad you brought this up. It is easier to submit to someone who has enough strength to overpower me. I have extensive self-defense training and used to kick box regularly. There aren't many people I meet that I couldn't take down. I'm not bragging, it's the truth. So yes, if the Dom/me was a slight person, we'd have some problems to deal with.

But then is that submitting or asking to be physically subdued by someone who can physically overpower you?

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

i preferred strength of will and intelligence. What we deem as a "presence" is subjective. Very much a similar argument to "what is sexy?"

lara

While I agree with most of what you say, and it hints at discussions of stereotyping, there are those figures in popular and everyday life which tend to get the majority vote from most people that they are deemed as sexy or having presence simply because of a set of characteristics which tend to make people see them in that light without need to analyse or think first. It is subjective in some part (such as some think Julia Roberts is hot, while I think she is a good actress, and I can see what is appreciated by most as sexy, attractive, beautiful etc., but she is not particularly appealing in attractiveness stakes where I am concerned), it does seem that when most refer to people as being sexy or having presence, there is a general understanding of what that means irrespective of finer detailed tastes.

Similarly it can be said 'strength of will and intelligence' can also be subjective depending on what the person describing that Dominant as such deems strength of will and intelligent.....while we can measure intelligence in an IQ test, it is widely recognised to only test intelligence from particular perspectives, and so also someone who is a brain surgeon may not see a computer engineer as particularly intelligent...similarly strength of will can be measured or perceived differently by different people. I think all can be deemed as subjective, but most understand what is meant by such statements in general terms and relating to D/s..and then the finer definitions are made by particular individuals in specific settings, situations, or relationships.

Catalina

 

[s'lara]

While I agree with most of what you say, and it hints at discussions of stereotyping, there are those figures in popular and everyday life which tend to get the majority vote from most people that they are deemed as sexy or having presence simply because of a set of characteristics which tend to make people see them in that light without need to analyse or think first. It is subjective in some part (such as some think Julia Roberts is hot, while I think she is a good actress, and I can see what is appreciated by most as sexy, attractive, beautiful etc., but she is not particularly appealing in attractiveness stakes where I am concerned), it does seem that when most refer to people as being sexy or having presence, there is a general understanding of what that means irrespective of finer detailed tastes.

Similarly it can be said 'strength of will and intelligence' can also be subjective depending on what the person describing that Dominant as such deems strength of will and intelligent.....while we can measure intelligence in an IQ test, it is widely recognised to only test intelligence from particular perspectives, and so also someone who is a brain surgeon may not see a computer engineer as particularly intelligent...similarly strength of will can be measured or perceived differently by different people. I think all can be deemed as subjective, but most understand what is meant by such statements in general terms and relating to D/s..and then the finer definitions are made by particular individuals in specific settings, situations, or relationships.

Catalina

When it comes to preferences, all choices are governed by subjectivity. That's kind of the point -- choose what appeals to you. While intelligence and strength of will were my choices, i also had my own criteria regarding what i believed those two requisites to be. i am not removed from subjective thinking, hence listing what my requirements were. In most things, we apply our own mental checklists when deeming what is or isn't attractive, smart, etc. However, what i found to be exemplars of intelligence and strength of will in a Dominant was nearly all that mattered to me in my review of a person and not whether those same charateristics were universally recognized as the same.

As for the hint of stereotyping, that was exactly the thinking behind my post. Our choices are certainly influenced by the things around us. It takes some time to arrive at a point where your choices are motivated by a personal barometer instead of ready made charateristics supplied by the majority.

After thinking a little more about this topic, i thought about something. Not doing a devil's advocate dance here, just taking the thought through in my own head. What happens if the strong, larger Dominant were to be subjected to an illness which not only debilitates, but weakens their physical strength to a point that is greatly reduced? Is the dominance now less potent than before? Is the imposition of will now impossible? What do you now do in the presence of someone you felt exemplified your physical choice, but were now changed?

Takes on a whole new meaning if your submission is somewhat hinged upon physical presence and that exterior changes.

lara

 

[TaintedB]

More on Bush's Dominance

I just wanted to post this, got it off the general board. Since this is the only thread we were talking about George Bush and dominance in, it seemed to fit:

http://agentprovocateur.ld.mediawav...ontrol_high.asx

 

[catalina_francisco]

When it comes to preferences, all choices are governed by subjectivity. That's kind of the point -- choose what appeals to you. While intelligence and strength of will were my choices, i also had my own criteria regarding what i believed those two requisites to be. i am not removed from subjective thinking, hence listing what my requirements were. In most things, we apply our own mental checklists when deeming what is or isn't attractive, smart, etc. However, what i found to be exemplars of intelligence and strength of will in a Dominant was nearly all that mattered to me in my review of a person and not whether those same charateristics were universally recognized as the same.

As for the hint of stereotyping, that was exactly the thinking behind my post. Our choices are certainly influenced by the things around us. It takes some time to arrive at a point where your choices are motivated by a personal barometer instead of ready made charateristics supplied by the majority.

LOL, I agree, the media has presented us with a steady onslaught of stereotypes to deprogramme ourselves from as we go through life, and which are impacted on by the societal stereotyping of our cultures.

After thinking a little more about this topic, i thought about something. Not doing a devil's advocate dance here, just taking the thought through in my own head. What happens if the strong, larger Dominant were to be subjected to an illness which not only debilitates, but weakens their physical strength to a point that is greatly reduced? Is the dominance now less potent than before? Is the imposition of will now impossible? What do you now do in the presence of someone you felt exemplified your physical choice, but were now changed?

I think Francisco brought this up recently, though not sure if it was this thread or not. It is where I find an exclusive or predominantly physical guage for dominance to be lacking. If for any reason the perceived physically dominant D is debilitated to any degree, the aura of dominance is also destroyed or injured. That tends to be too shallow or singular vision and does not take into account the other attributes necessary to separate the common thug from the responsible Dominant. Hopefully if a sub found themselves in this position and had not formerly realised the other qualities of their Dominant, they could then once faced with this reality adjust to include and appreciate those less physical points.

Catalina

 

[Betticus]

I'm glad you brought this up. It is easier to submit to someone who has enough strength to overpower me. I have extensive self-defense training and used to kick box regularly. There aren't many people I meet that I couldn't take down. I'm not bragging, it's the truth. So yes, if the Dom/me was a slight person, we'd have some problems to deal with.

 

[Betticus]

Re: Some thoughts

As I read most of your posts, I get a sense that the majority tend to see intelectual and emotion strength as the primary source of Domanacy. Or maybe I should say because of who you are, respond to this type of dominacy.

A few have stated that physique is a factor and I can understand that.

I would say that for me the mental and emotional dominance is where it is at. However I also admit "at least on some level" that as a person I have a

Mind
Heart
Body

It would stand to reason then that the body has it's proper place in making me a "whole person". I, like many of you place a greater emphasis on the "inner person". The character, the will, the emotional state, the intellectual control and the wisdom of experience is what I like to think makes up the "Inner person". The body I see is just a shell that holds a person together.

I think, where a person lacks in physique, the other things rise and become stronger to compensate just as a blind person's other senses become more stronger. So it is perfectly understandable how a person in a wheelchair could be an extrememly stong Dom/me.

Last thoughts before I let you all continue, and thank you all for posting your thoughts.

About a month ago I began to work out alot more, and have been losing weight and toning up my body. Eating better etc... I have noticed that my over all being is stronger, I have more confidence in myself. My sexual appetite has increased. Though physique is not as important to me as the "inner man" is, I do see value at least for myself.

I like to try to keep all of me on the same page, and when I look in the mirror and don't see who I really am, I get angry at myself for be so fucking lazy and not keeping myself in good shape. In one sense I see it as a sign of weakness, not because I got a spare tire or my muscles are a bit too flabby for my liking, but because I know I have let myself go. It is then I remind myself, how can you take the responsibility to control another, when you can't control yourself to do 50 sit ups a day.

Granted some may, because of physical impairment not be able to carry this out, I conceed this point and have already stated that I understand how they compensate for such. But for me, since I have no such restrictions, I find to be true to myself, I have to acknowledge some level of failure and face up to the responsibility.

I am glad I am working out now and making an effort. I already see the benifits and rewards for my efforts. I would encourage anyone else to also to take steps to improve their physique. If nothing else, being a healthier person only means you get to be around longer in life to enjoy being who you are.

Peace

We should start a BDSM cafe thread and Dom each other into keeping up with the exercise.

Could be fun. At least I can break up those fifty situps a day into sets. I went running today for the first time in forever and for the first time in forever I loved it. Absolutely loved the feeling. The breathing, the stride, the way you work your abs during a run, all of it.

I'll put up a thread in the cafe for motivation. I want the Dommes and Doms in there. Want to see some of their style. Subs welcome too.

 

[Betticus]

But then is that submitting or asking to be physically subdued by someone who can physically overpower you?

Catalina

Both. If she has a Dom/me then she has already submitted. I guess the question lies in the Dom/me. Can he pull off the physical overpowerment with any kind of finesse or does he just break and lose control of himself and make the situation true abuse?

Can he hold himself back enough to not break her limits?

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: Some thoughts

We should start a BDSM cafe thread and Dom each other into keeping up with the exercise.

Could be fun. At least I can break up those fifty situps a day into sets. I went running today for the first time in forever and for the first time in forever I loved it. Absolutely loved the feeling. The breathing, the stride, the way you work your abs during a run, all of it.

I'll put up a thread in the cafe for motivation. I want the Dommes and Doms in there. Want to see some of their style. Subs welcome too.

I am so there B. Count me in!

Although I see dominance spring from this thing called "presence" subjective as that might be for both the giver and reciever, I will not use it as a dodge to excuse not being in good shape physically. As long as it is within my power to be able to improve my health there can be no excuse not to. Even if it doesn't add or take anything away from my dominance, its still a good decsion.

:looks at the extra 20 pounds and says "You days are numbered bubba"

wtf have I gotten myself into....lol

 

[catalina_francisco]

Both. If she has a Dom/me then she has already submitted. I guess the question lies in the Dom/me. Can he pull off the physical overpowerment with any kind of finesse or does he just break and lose control of himself and make the situation true abuse?

Can he hold himself back enough to not break her limits?

True, but what I was more looking at was the assertion that the Dominant would have to be able to physically overpower before submission could even be considered....that seemed more like a request to be subdued, not to submit for submitting sake. OTOH, it can also be part of a forced type image of dominance, reliant more on the physical side of dominance than the mental.

Catalina

 

[RJMasters]

Physique

Bumping to test a search function

 

[chris9]

Look what I found ( ):
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=351997
Your lesson on the search function does help

To me, what's discussed in this thread sounds much like the opposite to the discussion in this thread. Is one less submissive if physically strong?

 

[FurryFury]

I was thinking about this some last night. I don't associate a certain body type with Dominance and another with submission.

However I have never gone for BIG guys.

I've dated some tall guys and some shorter guys.

I find the shorter guys are generally, often a little more serious (or rougher) about things physically, if things go in that direction.

I think I'm afraid of BIG guys and not in a good way. I think that is why I've never dated one. I can admire them but I think it would take even more trust to get naked and physical with them.

There was this one guy about a year ago that was pretty massive, maybe a little short but HUGE. Something about him just pulled my strings . . . Too damn bad I'm married or maybe I could report more. He was totally interested. God knows I was. *grr*

Fury

 

[RJMasters]

My views on this subject since I posted it way way way back when has changed a bit.

I do think that Physique plays a part in an overall presentation of one's dominance...but that part is not nearly as important as I once thought. I remember even back then after the discussion I came to the conclusion that Physique mostly influences the person themselves and what ever degree they feel good about them selves.

A good Physique will do alot of things for a person in gaining attention from the opposite sex etc..., but many of those things are completely seperate or unimportant where it comes to being a Dom. The reasons for having a good Physique is to maintian good health and to feel good about one's self and only in this way do I see it having an indirect effect on a person.

 

[FurryFury]

My views on this subject since I posted it way way way back when has changed a bit.

I do think that Physique plays a part in an overall presentation of one's dominance...but that part is not nearly as important as I once thought. I remember even back then after the discussion I came to the conclusion that Physique mostly influences the person themselves and what ever degree they feel good about them selves.

A good Physique will do alot of things for a person in gaining attention from the opposite sex etc..., but many of those things are completely seperate or unimportant where it comes to being a Dom. The reasons for having a good Physique is to maintian good health and to feel good about one's self and only in this way do I see it having an indirect effect on a person.

*nods*

Not long ago I began exercising again until I couldn't anymore. Now that I've decided to simply be well regardless I will begin again soon.

In a week I felt MUCH better about my body and myself. I also learned some good new for me exercises that don't hurt my back.

A week of exercise likely does NOTHING for ones overall physical appearance or health but mentally it was like night and day for me.

I will resume after I get back from my cruise if not sooner, with someone new to watch over me, a component I must have to make it work well, for me.

Fury

 

[RJMasters]

*nods*

Not long ago I began exercising again until I couldn't anymore. Now that I've decided to simply be well regardless I will begin again soon.

In a week I felt MUCH better about my body and myself. I also learned some good new for me exercises that don't hurt my back.

A week of exercise likely does NOTHING for ones overall physical appearance or health but mentally it was like night and day for me.

I will resume after I get back from my cruise if not sooner, with someone new to watch over me, a component I must have to make it work well, for me.

Fury

If I had the time to commit, I would still be running the thread in the cafe...You did a fine job in keeping your commitments and working out.

 

[Shankara20]

just an FYI

I subscribe to the WC Fields school of exercise

whenever I feel the urge to exercise....

I lay down till the urge goes away....



ah yes, my little chickadee.....