Pick One- SSC

[A Desert Rose]

Everyone's entitled to their opinions and points of view. I've found reading the previous posts, very interesting.

I believe that consent is implied many times and in many ways, in intimate relationships.

And again, I believe those three options are completely interwoven and I can't choose one over the other and, okay... I do not see one more important than the other, since the word 'right' seems to not work for so many.

And like you Shank, I don't like having to defend my views or myself, either. Which is the biggest reason I rarely post out here. I don't care how clear I try to be in my posts, they always seem to be misread by someone and then I have to defend whatever I said. (I could understand misreading me, if I were a passive/agressive poster. But I think I usually post statements, not inferences or inuendos.)

Or on the other hand, my posts are completely ignored.

Maybe that's all for the better, actually. And if that's the case, I can post all kinds of off the wall bullshit, can't I?

lol

 

[Shankara20]

And if that's the case, I can post all kinds of off the wall bullshit, can't I?

lol

That seen to work for me - hee hee

 

[SpectreT]

A D R

..Off the wall is occasionally my tack, but I always try to be helpful.

Discussions like this, I jump in with both feet, because I always imagine some nameless, faceless lurker struggling with issues or thoughts, who can benefit from all our points of view. Maybe something someone posts here rings true to them, helps them sort something out and get some sleep. But if we all STFU instead of sharing our thoughts and opinions, that lurker won't get any experience outside themselves, may have to spend weeks, even months, sorting some shit out that they could've gotten a philosophical nugget from us on.

regarding SSC, each of the three is necessary, they can't exist in a vacuum, but each of us has one that we hold dear, and reasons for doing so. Taken as a whole, everyone's points of view can enlighten the broader picture, as long as we're all willing to take on board what each other are saying, why the other two are important. Variations on a theme, to bastardize a musical metaphor.

I do need to watch out when my sacred cattle are under attack that I don't defend too violently; this makes me an asshat rather than an armchair philosopher.

 

[A Desert Rose]

What exactly are you saying to me, Spectre? I've never told anyone or encouraged anyone to Shut the fuck up about anything. Everyone is entitled to their own points of view.

Am I being chastised because I don't want to explain and re-explain myself to people who misread my posts? Am I being chastised because I don't believe my opinions really matter to anyone but me?

And furthermore, I think my posts here have been pretty benign. I don't understand why I'm being singled out, at all.

One more time, I believe everyone is entitled to opinions of their own, including me. And I believe those 3 options in this poll are interwoven and I can't choose one as more important than the others. Others here, including you, have other opinions. Makes for interesting reading, indeed. I don't think it makes me wrong, less right or whatever words you want to use.

So in other words, Your words, I hold all 3 options dear, Dear.

 

[SpectreT]

you're not being chastised.

Limitations of the printed word. I was trying to soothe feathers, not ruffle them worse.

I was explaining and defending myself, and recognizing I might have been a bit of an ass with my "Implied consent" post, I was trying to clarify.

I'm sorry it seemed like I was yelling at you. That was far from my intent.

I wish we knew each other better after all this time, so this post wasn't necessary.

again, I'm sorry.

 

[FurryFury]

I believe that human beings are great big gray areas.

I believe that SSC is a checks and balances system that should work but sometimes does not because people are people.

*shrugs*

Fury

 

[A Desert Rose]

you're not being chastised.

Limitations of the printed word. I was trying to soothe feathers, not ruffle them worse.

I was explaining and defending myself, and recognizing I might have been a bit of an ass with my "Implied consent" post, I was trying to clarify.

I'm sorry it seemed like I was yelling at you. That was far from my intent.

I wish we knew each other better after all this time, so this post wasn't necessary.

again, I'm sorry.

I wish we did too.

I read your post 3 times to figure out exactly what you were saying to me. You titled the post ADR, so it appeared to me that you were posting TO ME. My feathers weren't ruffled. You don't believe in implied consent... I do. So what? We disagree. No big deal. I don't want you to defend your opinions to me. I don't need you to do that. You're entitled to your views and for your reasons. I am, too.

I apologize as well.

 

[volvin]

I always imagine some nameless, faceless lurker struggling with issues or thoughts, who can benefit from all our points of view. [/QUOTE

Never stop thinking that I cant count the times reading this forum over the last few years has helped me.

 

[gluttonne]

maybe this reflects more on my personal experience than on what, objectively would be most useful, but i couldn't reasonably choose only one of these. in the case of being a dominant person who attracts dominant persons who have always preferred submitting to me in the end, regardless of their past bedroom-type roles, i seem to draw rather masochistic women. therefore, in my experience, at least with more potentially dangerous activities (it's funny how seemingly pretty ordinary things can become pretty perilous in the right hands), the couple CONSENTS to concur that the Top is SANE enough to reasonably promote the interest of being SAFE.

people get caught up in the moment (one of the mixed blessings of the human experience), but what is more important for a real, trusting d/s relationship than the preserved (subjective here) happiness, health and well-being of both parties? and if the Top is not in (subjective here) sufficient control of h(is/er)self, what good does it do to be well-intentioned? i've known women who have gotten off specifically with various manners of rather injurious behaviour, but in the end, if i am too rough, i would as likely seriously damage someone that i cared a great deal for as to simply upset them/damage their faith in me.

through some combination of luck and awareness and empirical observation (on the part of both myself and potential partners), i have had pretty intense chemistry with every woman i have been intimate with-and i have always taken quite some time (the length of time is quite variable here) to really get to know from their own words what makes them tick, and to inform them of the same. the effectiveness of this communication (particularly hinging upon both parties' abilities to be both honest with eachother and with themselves) has had a tremendous effect on the quality of our physical interaction, probably more than physical attraction or those little endearing quirks and synchronicities that keep us interested.

 

[Netzach]

Consent and take some effing responsibility for what you consent TO.

 

[Brittykat]

mine would have to be consensual, because i'd only agree to things that are safe and sane. ( things that are safe and sane in our defintion ofcourse)

 

[AlphaSheWolf]

That was interesting - I figured if a person was sane, They would also be safe and consensual....