PM asshattery

[Blase]

No, he messaged me. I don't reach out to people. He was responding to something in my profile.

Ah, the old "antagonize them into PROVING they're real" approach.

Still as effective as ever...

 

[Eilan]

Initial contact from a non-lit asshat:

Asshat: Whatever.

Me: Nice attitude. Bet you're fighting off the ladies.

We'll see if he responds.

[I suspect that this one is upset because at 49, he's outside my stated age preferences. Not that I'm super-seriously looking for anyone at the moment (most Lit regulars know about the nature of my relationship).]

 

[Sammael Bard]

Initial contact from a non-lit asshat:

Asshat: Whatever.

Me: Nice attitude. Bet you're fighting off the ladies.

We'll see if he responds.

[I suspect that this one is upset because at 49, he's outside my stated age preferences. Not that I'm super-seriously looking for anyone at the moment (most Lit regulars know about the nature of my relationship).]

Why engage that piece of filth in the first place? They thrive on a reaction, any reaction, they can get.

 

[Eilan]

Why engage that piece of filth in the first place? They thrive on a reaction, any reaction, they can get.

For countertrolling and shaming purposes.

This one's actually not too bright. He answered my question sincerely (no, he's not a hit with the ladies) and complimented my smile.

 

[Blase]

This one's actually not too bright. He answered my question sincerely (no, he's not a hit with the ladies) and complimented my smile.

Hmm... Seems like there may be a fine line between "not too bright" and "bereft of all hope and now striking out blindly"...

 

[Blase]

Thought that placing the word "male" in my bio would ward off at least some of the ones who only skim people's posts and profiles. Apparently not all, though. Just got the following:

"Hi how are you ? Are you feeling naughty this evening.

Are you feeling or would like to be sexually aroused at this time?"

It was signed with a male name.

Don't know whether he failed to notice the word male in my profile, or if he just assumes that all guys are bi until proven otherwise.

Either way, it's so fucking generic that this guy must have to send a lot of messages to get one worthwhile response.

 

[Eilan]

So this just happened completely out of the blue. The subject line read "anal," so my expectations were pretty low before I opened the PM.

Asshat: I can be honest and give u eamples my wife never allowed anyone til me she was 38 let me know

Me: Um, what?

Asshat: Your anus has two rings . You really dont need slopping wet in lube. Everyone thinks the more fingers less to expect. Wrong its alot more uncomfortable when someone i trying to twist three fingers inside you. This wayworks guaranteed. Lube up penis not too much, rub some into your anus. Have man get behinnd u and have him slowly start pushing his head inside u at same timepush out not suckin.the headwillenter the first ring breathe deep allow him to push again and the head will pop past both sphincters havehim stay here til u can relax then have him move short slow strokes just continue to push out andur rectum will suckhimin.

Me: Honey, when I need advice about anal trust me when I say I won't be getting it from the likes of you.

I'm not sure if something I posted recently led him to believe that I needed a buttsex tutorial or if this was just my lucky day.

 

[midwestyankee]

So this just happened completely out of the blue. The subject line read "anal," so my expectations were pretty low before I opened the PM.

Asshat: I can be honest and give u eamples my wife never allowed anyone til me she was 38 let me know

Me: Um, what?

Asshat: Your anus has two rings . You really dont need slopping wet in lube. Everyone thinks the more fingers less to expect. Wrong its alot more uncomfortable when someone i trying to twist three fingers inside you. This wayworks guaranteed. Lube up penis not too much, rub some into your anus. Have man get behinnd u and have him slowly start pushing his head inside u at same timepush out not suckin.the headwillenter the first ring breathe deep allow him to push again and the head will pop past both sphincters havehim stay here til u can relax then have him move short slow strokes just continue to push out andur rectum will suckhimin.

Me: Honey, when I need advice about anal trust me when I say I won't be getting it from the likes of you.

I'm not sure if something I posted recently led him to believe that I needed a buttsex tutorial or if this was just my lucky day.

I guess you just have to ask yourself, punk, do you feel lucky?

 

[Sammael Bard]

So this just happened completely out of the blue. The subject line read "anal," so my expectations were pretty low before I opened the PM.

Asshat: I can be honest and give u eamples my wife never allowed anyone til me she was 38 let me know

Me: Um, what?

Asshat: Your anus has two rings . You really dont need slopping wet in lube. Everyone thinks the more fingers less to expect. Wrong its alot more uncomfortable when someone i trying to twist three fingers inside you. This wayworks guaranteed. Lube up penis not too much, rub some into your anus. Have man get behinnd u and have him slowly start pushing his head inside u at same timepush out not suckin.the headwillenter the first ring breathe deep allow him to push again and the head will pop past both sphincters havehim stay here til u can relax then have him move short slow strokes just continue to push out andur rectum will suckhimin.

Me: Honey, when I need advice about anal trust me when I say I won't be getting it from the likes of you.

I'm not sure if something I posted recently led him to believe that I needed a buttsex tutorial or if this was just my lucky day.

..

 

[dizzyegg]

So this just happened completely out of the blue. The subject line read "anal," so my expectations were pretty low before I opened the PM.

Asshat: I can be honest and give u eamples my wife never allowed anyone til me she was 38 let me know

Me: Um, what?

Asshat: Your anus has two rings . You really dont need slopping wet in lube. Everyone thinks the more fingers less to expect. Wrong its alot more uncomfortable when someone i trying to twist three fingers inside you. This wayworks guaranteed. Lube up penis not too much, rub some into your anus. Have man get behinnd u and have him slowly start pushing his head inside u at same timepush out not suckin.the headwillenter the first ring breathe deep allow him to push again and the head will pop past both sphincters havehim stay here til u can relax then have him move short slow strokes just continue to push out andur rectum will suckhimin.

Me: Honey, when I need advice about anal trust me when I say I won't be getting it from the likes of you.

I'm not sure if something I posted recently led him to believe that I needed a buttsex tutorial or if this was just my lucky day.

Often I gravitate to this thread to see what the latest nonsense guys are sending to girls (let's face it, it's almost always guys). I'd love to meet these people in RL. They must be monumentally deficient mentally. I have to wonder when they meet women in the street if they lead with such things.

I appreciate this site is dedicated to sex, but really? This? And does it even hurt if guys fire off PMs that actually make sense, involve constructed sentences and half decent spelling?

Okay, rant over.

 

[KissyTitties]

Noooo....I wouldn't want to meet them in real life.

 

[dizzyegg]

Noooo....I wouldn't want to meet them in real life.

In fairness I don't meet them on lit nor in RL. But I have plenty of female acquaintances who encounter it often, online and off.

 

[UCanBLeafinMe]

AssHat
I would love to be behind you , grinding on that hot ass of yours. Love the bra pic , yummmmmm.

Me
OMG like you are such a wordsmith, you make me cream like my jeans.

You do know that you made yourself look like a complete and utter fool

AssHat
Is that so ?
Well if that big ass of yours gets and broader , you can hire yourself out for a mule on a farm.
How do you like that with your wide fool ass ?????

Me
Are you old enough to be on Literotica.

So he liked my ass UNTIL I insulted him, then he was a teenage boy.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

I wish I had found this thread sooner! I had some real winners my first day or two. They were shocking actually.

 

[UCanBLeafinMe]

I wish I had found this thread sooner! I had some real winners my first day or two. They were shocking actually.

Most of us have had a few idiots try to sweet talk us, and when we turn them down, they become raging asses.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Most of us have had a few idiots try to sweet talk us, and when we turn them down, they become raging asses.

I had over 70 PMs in the first two days. Many were genuine or at least I think so. A few were way over the top of anything rational. They were just creepy.

 

[CyranoJ]

I wish I had found this thread sooner! I had some real winners my first day or two. They were shocking actually.

When I arrived on these forums a little while back I took one look at the level of nuttery on the General Board and turned off PMs for all but my (selective) Buddy List. That was even without the prospect of attempts at "flirtation" that female posters face.

 

[UCanBLeafinMe]

I had over 70 PMs in the first two days. Many were genuine or at least I think so. A few were way over the top of anything rational. They were just creepy.

Creepy goes with the internet. Lit is far less than AOL every was.

 

[Blase]

And does it even hurt if guys fire off PMs that actually make sense, involve constructed sentences and half decent spelling?

To be fair, this isn't just a problem with PMs on Lit, nor is it exclusively a male problem.

I've learned over time that there are quite a few people who are perfectly intelligible in verbal, or even written, conversation who suddenly become incoherent when they try to write "creatively".

 

[dizzyegg]

To be fair, this isn't just a problem with PMs on Lit, nor is it exclusively a male problem.

I've learned over time that there are quite a few people who are perfectly intelligible in verbal, or even written, conversation who suddenly become incoherent when they try to write "creatively".

I find my intellectual conversation, wit and creativity rapidly go out the window when I've had a shot...or two...three...seven of whisky. Oh look what I have *hic*

 

[daus42]

AssHat
I would love to be behind you , grinding on that hot ass of yours. Love the bra pic , yummmmmm.

Me
OMG like you are such a wordsmith, you make me cream like my jeans.

You do know that you made yourself look like a complete and utter fool

AssHat
Is that so ?
Well if that big ass of yours gets and broader , you can hire yourself out for a mule on a farm.
How do you like that with your wide fool ass ?????

Me
Are you old enough to be on Literotica.

So he liked my ass UNTIL I insulted him, then he was a teenage boy.

While he is a total asshat, his admiration of your bottom is commendable. You handled his immaturity well.

 

[SweetSam42]

Hey! I got my first unsolicited dick pic of the year the other day. Whew! Thought I was losing my touch.

 

[Aphro]

Hey! I got my first unsolicited dick pic of the year the other day. Whew! Thought I was losing my touch.

Lucky you!

It must be my steely eyed glare, I've only ever received one, from a guy who was into small penis humiliation. My response? Thanks for next to nothing.

 

[Conager]

Lucky you!

It must be my steely eyed glare, I've only ever received one, from a guy who was into small penis humiliation. My response? Thanks for next to nothing.

Laughs.

Makes one wonder how well you do big penis aggrandizement...

I'm asking for a friend.

 

[lakegirlxvi]

I woke up to this

hey babygirl!!

I am a caring and nurturing mature daddy. I like to take care of baby-girls in moments when they need daddy's warm strong arms hugging them to his strong chest...murmuring soothing sweet nothings in their ears...not realizing that his THICK DADDY COCK rubbing against her...as if having a mind of its own...is growing harder. What he thinks is that DADDY's COCK being the MAST OF CREATION for baby-girl...it is something that baby-girl needs to worship...on her knees...with DADDY's THICK POLE swinging in front of her face...as she looks at it... mesmerized and thankful for bringing her in this world. Are you the girl i am looking for?

hugs,
DADDY