PM asshattery

[Adjudicator]

Dear Elle, please do forgive me for ever believing that you and hashtag were the same individual trying to play the board. That is clearly a ridiculous idea. My sincere apologies.

A

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Eilan]

Got this message with the subject line "Thank you":

"You have no idea how grateful I am that you are in no way interested in my dick."

I replied, "Awesome! This is going straight to the asshat thread. "

To the asshat's credit, he did read my profile.

 

[Eilan]

Most of his posts appear to be on the Personals Board or in The Playground and they're pretty vapid, so I'm not missing out on quality by not being interested in this asshat's shame-boner.

 

[Saucyminx]

Via KIK

Asshat: So how big are your boobs?

Me: Why does it matter?

Asshat: It doesn't. But how big are they? D cup?

Me: Almost as big as my dick. Wanna see? *sends one of the many unsolicited dick pics I keep in my phone for just such an emergency*

Asshat: WTF? *block*

Some asshats have zero sense of humor.

 

[Cumference]

That's not just a reply, that is a work of art!

 

[Saucyminx]

That's not just a reply, that is a work of art!

Thank you, thank you. I was a bit proud of that one.

 

[Eilan]

Today's asshat didn't PM me. He commented on one of my (public) tweets with a dick pic. Looks like he was doing it to several women, but only a couple of us put him on blast.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Today's asshat didn't PM me. He commented on one of my (public) tweets with a dick pic. Looks like he was doing it to several women, but only a couple of us put him on blast.

What a clueless dolt.

 

[Blase]

Thank you, thank you. I was a bit proud of that one.

Reading that exchange has made me laugh out loud more than once.

 

[Blase]

Got this little gem in my inbox: You come across as an imaginary slut.

(So, yeah. Whatever that means.)

Imaginary lovers never disagree
They always care
They're always there when
You need...
Satisfaction guaranteed!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx9RJU1eSr0

 

[MrsKingky]

I got a couple of fantastic ones today

#1
Him: Hey
Me: Hey, how are you?
Him: Good how are you?
Me: I'm ill
Him: Maybe this will make you feel better
*sends cock pic*
Me: Nope
Him: Wow you must be ill


#2 - this gent already knows I'm ill and has used the "I'm depressed but porn helps" routine
Him: Wyd?
Me: Lying in bed feeling sorry for myself
Him: Naked?
Me: No
Him: Shame
Me: You do remember I'm ill right?

 

[Alicia_Kim]

Here's one I got one evening from some Asshat I'd never communicated with before:

"Like it in the ass?"

Of course, that one immediately made my knees weak and my panties wet. It was true love at first PM.... NOT!

 

[Eilan]

I got this on another site yesterday. Some of the HT regulars saw it because I posted it on Facebook.

Asshat:
I love the idea of you being under the control of somoeone... how does that make you feel? of being completely powerless.....

If and when you do break the umbilical.... you know I will be here...... your dominant alpha.

Or perhaps, you are already thinking... what if you do try something....without them finding out. Wouldnt THAT be wild.

Me:
That's the funniest message I've ever gotten on this site. Thanks for the Sunday morning laugh.

I much prefer the idea of pegging geographically-nonfeasible randos. I think you'd like my strap-on.

Bye, Felipe.

 

[steve6161]

I just started on this site 3days ago, been checking the different boards out it's interesting and learning but at the same time funny as hell, never heard the word ASSHATERY but it works and I learned something to and had a really la.ugh, so thanks. ik

 

[Cumference]

I just started on this site 3days ago, been checking the different boards out it's interesting and learning but at the same time funny as hell, never heard the word ASSHATERY but it works and I learned something to and had a really la.ugh, so thanks. ik

Welcome aboard

Asshatery must be the hate of asses.

Asshattery is what asshats do.

 

[celticlady]

Here's one I got one evening from some Asshat I'd never communicated with before:

"Like it in the ass?"

Of course, that one immediately made my knees weak and my panties wet. It was true love at first PM.... NOT!

I've gotten that same one recently!

 

[PerpetualNotion]

The latest charmer to make it to my block list: -

41 m england 8in bangladeshi meat asl?

"Go fuck yourself poppet. Look at people's profiles. Mine says, 'NOT FUCKING INTERESED!"

Woman fucking idiots

"I doubt that mate, cos you're quite clearly not getting laid."

 

[44special]

"Asshattery," LMAO!
Well said.

 

[Eilan]

The backstory: I troll a fake news page on Facebook for shits and giggles because I have no life. Yesterday some dude in the comment section said, in response to nonexistent people getting fired from their nonexistent jobs, "Good show no respect your fried," to which I replied, "My fried what?"

Last night I got a message request from him, which I decided to accept because I was bored, and this exchange happened:

Asshat: Fired fired can't you read or you just another dum liberal

Me: *posts screencap of the edit history on asshat's comment*

Me: Oh, Sweetie. You edited your post twice and you still couldn't get it right. But I'm the dumb one. This convo is going straight to my timeline.

Asshat: *posts gif*

Asshat: *posts gif*

Asshat: *posts gif*

Asshat: *posts gif*

Me: *requests $200 from Asshat for harassment*

Asshat: *denies request for $200*

Me: *posts laughing sticker*

Me: Now go away, little boy. [asshat is actually an elderly man]

Asshat: Poss off

Me: Poss?

Asshat: *posts gif*

Asshat: *posts gif*

Me: Are you following the post about you on my timeline? My friends love you!

Asshat: *posts gif*

Asshat: *posts gif*

Me: Now go find someone else to harass. If you message me one more time, I'm adding my husband to this conversation and sending my friends to spam your timeline.

Asshat: *blocks me*

 

[steve6161]

Since I've been on Lit. I've learned so much about about Asshattery I don't know if I should laugh or just cry at the stupidity of people . Well I guess what I read once is true.
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity "

 

[Cumference]

Since I've been on Lit. I've learned so much about about Asshattery I don't know if I should laugh or just cry at the stupidity of people . Well I guess what I read once is true.
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity "

Always look on the bright side!
Their effort/perils can make you look awfully smart.

 

[silverwhisper]

cumference quoth:
always look on the bright side!

...of life!

 

[LadyJS]

The newest entry that I've received that is asshattery worthy:

"I’m just looking for hot sex! lol "

At least he was straight to the point

Here's all that I have to say to him:

 

[steve6161]

The newest entry that I've received that is asshattery worthy:

"I’m just looking for hot sex! lol "

At least he was straight to the point

Here's all that I have to say to him:

God I love your point view.