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The Wife: No Words Can Hold It
Lorna Crozier
The wife’s the last,
but I knew from the start.
As a kid I watched him
hang on the edges of things
to catch a glimpse. Across the schoolyard
his long gaze bent around my friends and me
to stroke her face. I wanted
what it was she had. No words can hold it,
now or then. A bird must feel it
in its wings, or a salmon rising.
Lately I follow him, drift to the edge
of town in my white nightgown,
sometimes a neighbor’s sprinkler
forgotten on the grass, its wish, wish, wish
wetting my feet. Most nights go like this
as far as I will go – I stare across the road
like a ghost who’s lost her was,
watch the curtains at her window
suck in and out as if the house itself is breathing.
So much life in her and mine in pieces.
I could make him choose,
but what’s the use? Fe married me
and she won’t have him
longer than a night.
When he slide between our sheets
near morning, he believes he keeps
her scent a secret. How can he not sense
my knowing? I curl around him,
pretending sleep, pray her smell
will soak into my skin and
he will take me hard
without the gentleness he thinks I want.
Lorna Crozier
The wife’s the last,
but I knew from the start.
As a kid I watched him
hang on the edges of things
to catch a glimpse. Across the schoolyard
his long gaze bent around my friends and me
to stroke her face. I wanted
what it was she had. No words can hold it,
now or then. A bird must feel it
in its wings, or a salmon rising.
Lately I follow him, drift to the edge
of town in my white nightgown,
sometimes a neighbor’s sprinkler
forgotten on the grass, its wish, wish, wish
wetting my feet. Most nights go like this
as far as I will go – I stare across the road
like a ghost who’s lost her was,
watch the curtains at her window
suck in and out as if the house itself is breathing.
So much life in her and mine in pieces.
I could make him choose,
but what’s the use? Fe married me
and she won’t have him
longer than a night.
When he slide between our sheets
near morning, he believes he keeps
her scent a secret. How can he not sense
my knowing? I curl around him,
pretending sleep, pray her smell
will soak into my skin and
he will take me hard
without the gentleness he thinks I want.