Poetry in Progress ~ construction zone

[KR]

On Clutching_Calliope's poem/comments

and must admit I'm more of a plagiarist than anything. See also, "Mad Girl's Love Song by Plath: http://plagiarist.com/poetry/1412/

even the websites out me in my plagiarism. Is imitation the ultimate form of flattery?

I don't consider it plagiarism at all. The content is quite different, only the form is similar.

I recognized the Plath poem immediately. I've had the pleasure of seeing the poems and prose typewritten by Sylvia Plath on the pink Smith College letterhead. I recall seeing that poem in the archives, but not the original--I think it was a photocopy from the New Yorker or maybe Granta (I have the physical memory of holding the page but try as I might the details of its origin are fuzzy).

Anyway, it is wonderful to see this form used in a poem. Its almost lyrical. I can almost hear it as a song. More, please.

 

[annaswirls]

I never wear pink

*moved*

 

[wildsweetone]

to dream

she dresses with care, sometimes
a straight edge here, a smoothed
curve there, well manicured
and heeled, suited
to match her needs. But she’ll go
unnoticed as she cleans
the classrooms. She’s fine with that
it gives her time to dream
to conjure games of dance
where coiffed hair, painted nails
and beautiful people prance
at night. Come
reality, adornments fade
and she slips
from room to room
with her broom and duster
in jeans and t.
Unnoticed.

 

[clutching_calliope]

That girl

.....

 

[flyguy69]

I'm that girl you wanted to kiss once, Sweets.

Oh, like that narrows the field!

 

[Tathagata]

I'm glad the original erotic poem showed through in the villanelle, if only a bit. I stitched it from an old piece called "Nothing to Comment On" which was posted once upon a time here at Lit. Funny how people take you at your word...I think Tatha was the only one to comment.
.

he's silly that tatha

 

[flyguy69]

he's silly that tatha

You were that kid that always yanked on the door marked "no entrance" just to check, weren't you?

 

[Tathagata]

You were that kid that always yanked on the door marked "no entrance" just to check, weren't you?

i lived for " wet paint" signs

 

[flyguy69]

i lived for " wet paint" signs

And I was the one hiding all of those.

 

[Tathagata]

And I was the one hiding all of those.

well then thanks for the jeans with the green ass

 

[clutching_calliope]

Men will always beauty forgive.

.....

 

[flyguy69]

well then thanks for the jeans with the green ass

I hope they were vertical stripes. Horizontal makes your butt look big.

 

[clutching_calliope]

I thought

.....

 

[Tathagata]

he handsome, that Tatha. I must have the wrong sweet monkey man.....

there's two??

 

[flyguy69]

there's two??

She's clearly confusing you with the buddha.

 

[clutching_calliope]

C'mere

.....

 

[annaswirls]

Oh, like that narrows the field!

you are such a bastard

I mean in my opinion, that is.
and in the most loving of ways

 

[Tathagata]

Let me rubby that tummy!

that would be lucky for us both

 

[vampiredust]

The Desert At The End Of The World

Violets bloom in the tungsten tundra,
holding their heads when the crickets
turn the ground to mush,

they're the only signs of intelligent life
and the only remnant of human conquest

is the cellphone bleeping semaphore
in the eternal night.

 

[vampiredust]

Midnight In The Garden Of Eden

A second falls, caught in a raindrop.
It lands on the two apparitions below,
huddled together as the wait for the crow
to announce their fate.
Time cracks as the decision is announced
and midnight weeps as time starts to die
again and again...

 

[vampiredust]

Birthday, 1986

1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
6...

'Make a wish, honey', Mother says

take me away from the darkened room,
where the walls are black and blue
and leather snakes lunge at my throat

1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
6...

'Make a wish, honey'

take me away,
away from all this...

 

[Angeline]

Men will always beauty forgive. By some
Nature’s giving, they are led by their eyes.
If I were but a dew-covered blossom
Instead of witch hazel drowned by pink skies!

For why look at where you tread when sunrise
Beckons your gaze heavenward? Fairied nymphs
Skip gaily, oblivious of your lies
Which - like discarded gum wrappers, limp-

Fall to the ground to shroud me in silver
Foil. These excuses are not rainproof. Ten
Years from here, slowed her heart, grayed eyes, will her
Feet fall as light on the mist? In what glen

Does wisdom surface from earthen roots? Gage
Delight by sagacity, not by age.

Never thought I'd see a sonnet here.

Would you like some feedback on it? I have to go to work now, but I'll be back tonight and I could do it then or tomorrow...

 

[TheRainMan]

Never thought I'd see a sonnet here.

Would you like some feedback on it? I have to go to work now, but I'll be back tonight and I could do it then or tomorrow...

don't encourage her . . .

hi, you.

 

[clutching_calliope]

Of course!

.....

 

[TheRainMan]

I would be very grateful for any feedback, Angeline. I know the form stuff never as a hope in Hades of going anywhere, but I love to do them like some people love to do Sudoku.

Just ignore TRM. He was once a underpriviledged rapper in the streets of Brooklyn and now can't do the worm. (Ya, I love ya, Pat, you rhyme-challenged man).

...teach me your dance and song,

you of the stylus and beautiful voice.