Post Bondage Emotions

[Netzach]

Yanno, if you're not comfortable with partner-provided aftercare, maybe you could plan ahead and do your own, private aftercare? I mean, since you were huddled in front of the TV and couldn't drag yourself back to a normal range of emotions, maybe you could plan to be nowhere near your TV after a scene. Like maybe schedule a drink with one of your girlfriends, just to have something fun and familiar to occupy your brain and your body in the time after a potentially scary scene.

This is a terrific suggestion, and something I've had to navigate on my own after a lot of sessions as a pro. They were done and happy, I was done and fried and sometimes left with a lot of inner turmoil - it was really good to make sure I had friends around to have a drink with or something I know will make me laugh to read or watch.

Oh, pays to read before posting.

Hm. Maybe if you guys order in some food or have some coffee or tea after? It doesn't have to be lovey, but just being able to connect and look at one another has value.

 

[FurryFury]

I had no idea what to say to your orginal questions. I'm glad you asked it. I've learned a lot from your thread.

Fury

 

[kayte]

Thank you everybody. It looks so meaningless to type it out, but you've all really helped me. I'm going to talk about all this stuff with my friend before we talk about doing this again. And I'd like to try it again, even if it means I might go through this little emotional fit again... at least to see if it DOES happen. If it happens the second time, I don't think I'd go through with it again. But maybe it was a fluke.

Seriously, thank you.

Good afternoon Chicklet ~ It isn't meaningless at all.

Glad you are going to try some play like that again. Now that you know it is simply a physiological reaction to the rise and fall of endorphins that may calm you about it.

Here is the link to the entire thread I meant to post.
Link to "Drop" Thread

 

[MasterPhoenix]

IMO, it is up to the Dom or the Top in the scene to make sure that the sub/bottom is alright...

I understand that his comforts may not have been helpful, but maybe if he even spoke encouragement...

 

[submissiveknight]

It sounds like to me He did a pretty good job to take you there! What's not being realized in this is that, He may not have been experienced with you and your reactions afterwards. Over time He will know how you react after scenes and be able to have a better approach to what you need! It may take Him a few times, but most likely He'll figure out a good approach to your after care. It sounded like to me that He made an attempt, so thats a good sign and something to work with.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

It sounds like to me He did a pretty good job to take you there! What's not being realized in this is that, He may not have been experienced with you and your reactions afterwards. Over time He will know how you react after scenes and be able to have a better approach to what you need! It may take Him a few times, but most likely He'll figure out a good approach to your after care. It sounded like to me that He made an attempt, so thats a good sign and something to work with.

i agree with this. and honestly it does sound like you had gone to 'sub space' and the feelings you were having after the scene was your body 'coming down' i know myself after Master and i have scened, especially if it's been an intense scene, i need ALOT of aftercare, not always cuddling, but re-assuring words that He's proud of me, i'm a good girl ect...He also brings me back to 'reality' by talking softly yet firmly telling me to 'come back to Him' alot of times just hearing His voice helps to calm me and bring me back. i do think after a few times of play He will learn what it is you need to bring you back to the right head space. i've come down 'wrong' quite a few times after an intense scene. crying, emotional that sort of thing and i know Master had to think quick on how to bring me out quickly but not so quick that it made it worse, if that makes sense. anyway i've rambled enough, i'm gonna end this by saying, if you do it again and it happens again, don't give up so easily. i think the feelings you had are a VERY common thing for submissives and maybe you should read up on some techniques you can use to bring yourself out of sub space since you're not one to have Him 'touching' and cuddling you. good luck!

 

[MasterPhoenix]

i agree with this. and honestly it does sound like you had gone to 'sub space' and the feelings you were having after the scene was your body 'coming down' i know myself after Master and i have scened, especially if it's been an intense scene, i need ALOT of aftercare, not always cuddling, but re-assuring words that He's proud of me, i'm a good girl ect...He also brings me back to 'reality' by talking softly yet firmly telling me to 'come back to Him' alot of times just hearing His voice helps to calm me and bring me back. i do think after a few times of play He will learn what it is you need to bring you back to the right head space. i've come down 'wrong' quite a few times after an intense scene. crying, emotional that sort of thing and i know Master had to think quick on how to bring me out quickly but not so quick that it made it worse, if that makes sense. anyway i've rambled enough, i'm gonna end this by saying, if you do it again and it happens again, don't give up so easily. i think the feelings you had are a VERY common thing for submissives and maybe you should read up on some techniques you can use to bring yourself out of sub space since you're not one to have Him 'touching' and cuddling you. good luck!

and sometimes it is quite difficult to bring you back, baby.

IMO, that is why its important for a Dom/Top to know his play partner very well.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

and sometimes it is quite difficult to bring you back, baby.

IMO, that is why its important for a Dom/Top to know his play partner very well.

*nods* i know that it is, but You do it so well and i trust you fully and i truly believe that's WHY i go so far into sub space. i KNOW that You would never leave my side after a scene, and will stay with me as long as needed, even if it's late and You have to be up early in the morning *grins* but really i think that makes a difference in how far into 'sub space' a submissive goes along with alot of other factors of course, intensity of play ect...and i too agree that it is important to know your partner very well and things be discussed before a scene so both know what to expect before, during and after a scene

 

[MasterPhoenix]

*nods* i know that it is, but You do it so well and i trust you fully and i truly believe that's WHY i go so far into sub space. i KNOW that You would never leave my side after a scene, and will stay with me as long as needed, even if it's late and You have to be up early in the morning *grins* but really i think that makes a difference in how far into 'sub space' a submissive goes along with alot of other factors of course, intensity of play ect...and i too agree that it is important to know your partner very well and things be discussed before a scene so both know what to expect before, during and after a scene

And you are quite right babygirl. I would never leave you floating... tho there have been many times I had to fight off sleep to get you back from far reaches...

then I discovered an easier way that works every time...

 

[kayte]

Thought this thread should be brought back to the top.

 

[shmeghead]

Although it may not be 'him' that you want, you are feeling empty because he is almost filling an emotional whole for you that has been created from a past experience you aren't 100% with. He touches the surface of it and gives you a temporary fix for an already existing emptiness.

The experience you have with him is the 'early stages' of an experience you need to feel (sub-consciously or consciously) comfortable experiencing with someone you do feel attracted too. And because you don't feel attracted to 'him' you aren't able too (within yourself) take the next step with him and allow that experience to follow it's natural path. Not necessarily a bad thing, but you asked why are you left with this residual feeling and my understanding of human thought processes and emotional attachments is that 'empty feelings' are left when an experience occurs that reminds the individual of a past experience that hasn't been dealt with.

Opinions are like bums. Everyone has one. And that's mine.

Namaste