Predators, Players and Bull Shit Artists

[snowy ciara]

more wisdom from those that have "been there, done that, lived though it."

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[A Desert Rose]

This was a nice walk down memory lane... reminds me again, why I've always liked Lance. And makes me wonder what happened to some of those nice folks, too.

 

[snowy ciara]

NP Cutie. Predatory behavior came up in a IM with someone the other day and it made me curious as to what folks around here had to say. There are a few more threads I didn't bump, just cause they wandered WAAAY off into hijack land. Which is good, some great thoughts there, but not really pertaining to the subject in hand.

ADR. It seems funny, but I sorta miss some of our AWOL posters even though I never meant them. You may have noticed that I tend to wander around in the stacks back there. I see lots of folks *coughebonyfirecough* that I'd love to see here, if only to pick their brains for a bit. Of course, if they're still talking with any of the PYLs that have so generously allowed me to plague them with my questions, they're probably hiding with good reason!

 

[Bandit58]

NP Cutie. Predatory behavior came up in a IM with someone the other day and it made me curious as to what folks around here had to say. There are a few more threads I didn't bump, just cause they wandered WAAAY off into hijack land. Which is good, some great thoughts there, but not really pertaining to the subject in hand.

ADR. It seems funny, but I sorta miss some of our AWOL posters even though I never meant them. You may have noticed that I tend to wander around in the stacks back there. I see lots of folks *coughebonyfirecough* that I'd love to see here, if only to pick their brains for a bit. Of course, if they're still talking with any of the PYLs that have so generously allowed me to plague them with my questions, they're probably hiding with good reason!

*smiles* snowy I always taught my kids that if you don't ask questions you don't learn Master encourages me to ask questions, we've had some interesting discussions about topics raised on this board, and from my reading elsewhere.

When we were getting to know each other online, He also said never to be afraid of asking a question if I was unsure of anything. Being a very new sub, and still unsure of things I have not experienced yet, questions are a good thing!

 

[Desdemona]

I had completely forgotten all about this thread. It bears re-reading by this currently single submissive as a refresher course.

Rosie, I miss some of these folks too.

 

[silver_inari]

*smiles* snowy I always taught my kids that if you don't ask questions you don't learn Master encourages me to ask questions, we've had some interesting discussions about topics raised on this board, and from my reading elsewhere.

When we were getting to know each other online, He also said never to be afraid of asking a question if I was unsure of anything. Being a very new sub, and still unsure of things I have not experienced yet, questions are a good thing!

Yup...you can't learn things if you don't ask questions. My dominant and I likewise are quite frank in our discussions of what we are interested in trying, or fantasies that we;ve had. I find the discussions tend to bring us closer, in general.

I would think it would pay to beware of anyone who doesn't want you to ask questions.

silver_inari

 

[snowy ciara]

Yep. Be especially aware of the ones who say "that wasn't very submissive of you" when you ask a question. Another major red flag, is when they refuse to answer.

 

[Desdemona]

Personally, I think it's a big red flag when they are selective about what questions they answer. As in, "I want to develop a relationship with you but I don't want to tell you anything about me or my personal/professional life." I can understand discretion, however, past a point, it's time to come clean if you want my trust. That is one of the places I draw a line in the sand.

 

[LunarKitten]

Good topic, Des.

From the perspective of a man who has met women locally and at distance via the internet on and off for about seven years, I can add some impressions.

*snipped*

* if she says she's a sub and the next breath is a list of "I won't's"...call her whatever you want....she's trouble. Smile and back away slowly.

Hmmm...just because a person is a submissive doesn't mean they don't have their limits. Everyone has things they won't do, that doesn't necessarily make them trouble.

Just my two cents worth.

 

[LunarKitten]

Re: Predators

A warning sign that someone may be a predator is if he has no friends or can't accept people unlike him or herself.

A predator is generally someone posing as a dominant who has no respect for others. This is true online and in person.

*nods* My test was always how they acted around my friends in the local community (several of whom have been practicing this lifestyle for more than twenty years). Friends are so much better at spotting a fake with you than you sometimes are yourself.

Plus you get to see if they know how to interact with others, if they'd claimed they'd been doing this for years and years and years...when you actually go to a play party where sex is not allowed, you get a guage on the type of person you went with and their experience levels - if they freak out over things that aren't totally off the chart, more than likely that person isn't who I want to be with for the long term.