Putting dialogue and monologue into their own paragraphs

[KeithD]

That plain text works with several novels doesn't mean there's anything wrong with using the tools that have been provided for us. I've also read several stories on Lit that made great use of several text-formatting options. Stories where formatting provided added value.

Can you cite any anthologies in print that permit widely divergent styles in the works included? I can't. That would be quite amateurish. The Literotica story file is a rolling anthology. I think it's right to try not to appear amateurish.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I have a new beta-reader for the story I'm currently working on. He started his feedback with:


I asked for more details, and he replied:


My style has been to put mix action and dialogue in the same paragraph as long as the dialogue is done by the actor of the paragraph. So I had originally:


His recommendation is to break that into three paragraphs:

What do you think?

Both are valid, nothing wrong with the way you were doing it. If the action is related to the dialogue - like saying "hi" and getting up to shake a hand, which is really a non-verbal continuation of the "hi" - my inclination would be to keep them together. If it's separate from the dialogue - like saying "hi" and then taking a phone call - I'd break it.

IMHO your beta-reader is being over-zealous here.