Question for Dominants

[Mr. Bootie]

I've been reading up on this and I just had to post.

Just know that I am available to you WFB. I have my ever loving arms around you.


((BIG HUGS))



kgboot
aka "Mr. Bootie"

 

[artful]

BUMP

It's check in time Brat,...there are many of us that have your welfare at heart.

 

[willfulbrat]

Here's an update.

This morning i got an intense, worried, frightened feeling and called Him up early this morning, against His instructions not to call, because i felt like i had to know if He was okay. He told me He was stranded in another state in a hotel, and His car had broken down twice and they hadn't got it fixed yet. I went to get Him and got Him back home. I was so relieved that He's okay.

We had a long talk in the car> i don"t know what will happen from this point on< but we"re at least friends for now>

artful< mskittykatt>kgboot< dustygrrl<carolineoh<daedalus< desdemona< andreina< lasavane< dixiecritter<bbd< desert rose< writerdom<msworthy< spankablebelle< and mr blandings< thank you all for posting> it really helped to have your support and insight>

i"ve done some kind of weird filter thing to my keys< when i figure out how to fix it< i"ll come in and fix this post> sorry this is so hard to read as it is>

willfulbrat

 

[DustyWolfe]

Here's an update.

This morning i got an intense, worried, frightened feeling and called Him up early this morning, against His instructions not to call, because i felt like i had to know if He was okay. He told me He was stranded in another state in a hotel, and His car had broken down twice and they hadn't got it fixed yet. I went to get Him and got Him back home. I was so relieved that He's okay.

We had a long talk in the car> i don"t know what will happen from this point on< but we"re at least friends for now>

artful< mskittykatt>kgboot< dustygrrl<carolineoh<daedalus< desdemona< andreina< lasavane< dixiecritter<bbd< desert rose< writerdom<msworthy< spankablebelle< and mr blandings< thank you all for posting> it really helped to have your support and insight>

i"ve done some kind of weird filter thing to my keys< when i figure out how to fix it< i"ll come in and fix this post> sorry this is so hard to read as it is>

willfulbrat

willfulbrat,

You know I love you... Your very special. I do worry about you having extended contact with him. Yet I do hope that you can be friends without the difficult feelings involved.

You have great intuition and I am sure he is glad that you came to his rescue. It was good for you two to get to talk. I hope that things continue to get better

 

[artful]

Thanks for the update WB

Here's an update.

artful< mskittykatt>kgboot< dustygrrl<carolineoh<daedalus< desdemona< andreina< lasavane< dixiecritter<bbd< desert rose< writerdom<msworthy< spankablebelle< and mr blandings< thank you all for posting> it really helped to have your support and insight>

willfulbrat

I am glad to be counted as one of your friends, and know that we will STILL be here for you in the future.

 

[Desdemona]

Oh Brat, you are in a hard place right now. Friendship is good, but, for some of us, it is very difficult to be satisfied with friendship after a more intimate relationship.

Please think about what you want and need. Don't settle for crumbs. You deserve so much more.

 

[spankableBelle]

you know i am here with open arms, an open heart, and opened ears for you, brat...hugssss honey

 

[Shadowsdream]

My Way...

No I don't *alter* My behavior to suit the needs or the emotions of My subs.

I am so brutally honest before they become Mine...I leave no stone unturned in explaining who I am, what I am looking for, My needs as a Dominant and how those needs can be their heaven or their hell.

I know that many a sub or a Dom/me will enter into a new relationship thinking once they get past first base both will be able to make some compromises that will satisfy both.

NOT going to happen with Me. Which is why I stick to My Way of a minimum 4 month real time training period before the subject of giving or accepting the gift of submission will even be considered by Me. I do this to protect Myself as well as the submissive. No obligation on either side to succeed in a long term relationship while still being able to learn the reality of each.

Communication, communication, communication and reminders of what I have said from the beginning. I also remember every word the sub has said on every subject that has been discussed in the BDSM needs versus wants.

I am clear that I am not looking for love but I am looking for the magic between a sub and a Domme. If love developes naturally through the progression of trust and respect on both sides it is a bonus.

I take the responsibility of My Domination seriously and care for the heart and the mind of those under My control. The happiness and self respect of the submissive is My prime concern.

BUT

I do NOT compromise My Ways...I would feel dishonest if My Ways were no longer what the sub said they were looking for and I caved to their new needs. I would be dominated...not Dominating.

Both subs and Dom/mes must be able to move on in pride...hopefully in friendship.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Well said!

My Way...

No I don't *alter* My behavior to suit the needs or the emotions of My subs.

I am so brutally honest before they become Mine...I leave no stone unturned in explaining who I am, what I am looking for, My needs as a Dominant and how those needs can be their heaven or their hell.

I know that many a sub or a Dom/me will enter into a new relationship thinking once they get past first base both will be able to make some compromises that will satisfy both.

NOT going to happen with Me. Which is why I stick to My Way of a minimum 4 month real time training period before the subject of giving or accepting the gift of submission will even be considered by Me. I do this to protect Myself as well as the submissive. No obligation on either side to succeed in a long term relationship while still being able to learn the reality of each.

Communication, communication, communication and reminders of what I have said from the beginning. I also remember every word the sub has said on every subject that has been discussed in the BDSM needs versus wants.

I am clear that I am not looking for love but I am looking for the magic between a sub and a Domme. If love developes naturally through the progression of trust and respect on both sides it is a bonus.

I take the responsibility of My Domination seriously and care for the heart and the mind of those under My control. The happiness and self respect of the submissive is My prime concern.

BUT

I do NOT compromise My Ways...I would feel dishonest if My Ways were no longer what the sub said they were looking for and I caved to their new needs. I would be dominated...not Dominating.

Both subs and Dom/mes must be able to move on in pride...hopefully in friendship.

All I can say is bravo! I have learned from bitter experience, that it is madness for Me to compromise. I had to learn the hard way.

Now that I have re-affirmed My requirements, things have been much, much better.

Ebony <M Shadow is dead nuts right!>

 

[Mr. Bootie]

Thank You Shadow and Eb

Your insights are very helpful. Some of us just have to learn the hard way eh?? However, it is good to know the road that others have been on. Maybe our own roads will have less twists and turns to them.

Thank You.


kgboot
aka "Mr. Bootie"

 

[Ebonyfire]

Stopping by

to give brat a big hug!!!

{{{HUG}}}

Ebony

 

[artful]

Shadows and Sis

I just want to lend my support for what the three of us are in agreement on.

To Dominate or submit,...that is the question. Do we need to COMMUNICATE with our subs? Hell yes!
Honesty to ones self is the BEGINNING of true communication.

If we are not in touch with who we are, and what we want, all else will happen as circumstances dictate.

When we understand ENOUGH about ourself, then we can begin communicating with OTHERS as to who we are,...and what we want.

Confusion EASILY abounds in relationships that are NOT thoroughly understood by both parties. That's why it is SO damned important for US to know who we are,...and what we want.

Without KNOWING that, false communications are entered into, whether or not it was INTENTIONAL.
If you want a SERIOUS relationship with SOMEONE, ...FIRST,...get SERIOUS with yourself.

Can people change? Hell yes! Desires can change, looks can change, attitudes can change,... everything is subject to change.

Change is where we ALL have an OPPORTUNITY for growth,...for learning NEW things. Will I allow a sub to FORCE changes in our relationship? No !

If I am not making the decisions here, then I am NOT controlling the relationship. For ME,... CONTROL is the ISSUE. Can I accept changes,...yes!

Do I expect changes? Yes! Do I welcome changes? *SOMETIMES*! If it suits ME yes,...if it DOESN'T, ...then NO !!!

Does any of the above mean I have LESS care for the welfare of my sub? HELL NO !

If she is UNHAPPY in meeting my needs, or IF I for some reason can't, or WON"T meet her needs, then I will release her.

Do I do that WITHOUT communication and open discussion? Hell no! I will state this one more time. "MY sub,...is the MOST precious treasure of ALL my worldly goods!"

Just like my opinions,...others may not agree with how I have a BDSM relationship, but,...it's MINE, ...and I own it!

 

[Shadowsdream]

exactly!

(When we understand ENOUGH about ourself, then we can begin communicating with OTHERS as to who we are,...and what we want. )

You are 100 % correct Art.. Self understanding..on both sides of the whip. No illusions and side stepping real needs and desires. This is not a half way kind of lifestyle.

A Dom/me that does not understand Her/His self will be unable to be consistent, fair minded, honest, sincere, and in control.

A submissive without the depth of self knowledge or the sincere quest to be taken into the CARING control of a Dominant they feel is worthy of molding their future will continually question the obvious.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Ebony

(it is madness for Me to compromise)

And none of Us wants a mad Ebony!

~~~grin~~~so let the games begin....

brat...keep moving forward...sometimes heaven has a way of surprising you when you least expect it.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Ebony

(it is madness for Me to compromise)

And none of Us wants a mad Ebony!

~~~grin~~~so let the games begin....

brat...keep moving forward...sometimes heaven has a way of surprising you when you least expect it.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Ebony

(it is madness for Me to compromise)

And none of Us wants a mad Ebony!

~~~grin~~~so let the games begin....

brat...keep moving forward...sometimes heaven has a way of surprising you when you least expect it.

I am ready, willing, and able to rock and roll!

Ebony

 

[pierced_boy]

C areyou about?

Dear c

are you watching?

H

 

[Ebonyfire]

Bump

 

[The G]

My Way...

No I don't *alter* My behavior to suit the needs or the emotions of My subs.

I am so brutally honest before they become Mine...I leave no stone unturned in explaining who I am, what I am looking for, My needs as a Dominant and how those needs can be their heaven or their hell.

I know that many a sub or a Dom/me will enter into a new relationship thinking once they get past first base both will be able to make some compromises that will satisfy both.

NOT going to happen with Me. Which is why I stick to My Way of a minimum 4 month real time training period before the subject of giving or accepting the gift of submission will even be considered by Me. I do this to protect Myself as well as the submissive. No obligation on either side to succeed in a long term relationship while still being able to learn the reality of each.

Communication, communication, communication and reminders of what I have said from the beginning. I also remember every word the sub has said on every subject that has been discussed in the BDSM needs versus wants.

I am clear that I am not looking for love but I am looking for the magic between a sub and a Domme. If love developes naturally through the progression of trust and respect on both sides it is a bonus.

I take the responsibility of My Domination seriously and care for the heart and the mind of those under My control. The happiness and self respect of the submissive is My prime concern.

BUT

I do NOT compromise My Ways...I would feel dishonest if My Ways were no longer what the sub said they were looking for and I caved to their new needs. I would be dominated...not Dominating.

Both subs and Dom/mes must be able to move on in pride...hopefully in friendship.

Now this is a subject that I agree with Shadowsdream and EB....I dont comprise and I state upfront what my needs, desires, whims, whatever you want to call them are....In the begining......

If you cant dance, then dont come to My party...........

 

[lark sparrow]

bump

exactly!

(When we understand ENOUGH about ourself, then we can begin communicating with OTHERS as to who we are,...and what we want. )

You are 100 % correct Art.. Self understanding..on both sides of the whip. No illusions and side stepping real needs and desires. This is not a half way kind of lifestyle.

A Dom/me that does not understand Her/His self will be unable to be consistent, fair minded, honest, sincere, and in control.

A submissive without the depth of self knowledge or the sincere quest to be taken into the CARING control of a Dominant they feel is worthy of molding their future will continually question the obvious.

 

[ethereal~minx]

exactly!

(When we understand ENOUGH about ourself, then we can begin communicating with OTHERS as to who we are,...and what we want. )

You are 100 % correct Art.. Self understanding..on both sides of the whip. No illusions and side stepping real needs and desires. This is not a half way kind of lifestyle.

A Dom/me that does not understand Her/His self will be unable to be consistent, fair minded, honest, sincere, and in control.

A submissive without the depth of self knowledge or the sincere quest to be taken into the CARING control of a Dominant they feel is worthy of molding their future will continually question the obvious.

Artful & Shadowsdream... both of You are a dream to me! i am soooo thankful to have came across this thread! to have found that there are Dom/mes that match my 'ideal' *smiles* that i've created in my mind... d/s is new to me~~ never experienced r/t ..only online but i've read alot and this is 'me' *wink*


..side note to the Olive Tree (just in case) this is no neg ref to You but rather an affirmation of what i believe You could possibly be or could have been to me~~ never forget i love You Sir