quite possibly the most important thread I'll ever post

[CrustySailor]

Having an orgasm is 90% mental and 10% physical and you need both to get a good one.
Let your imagination get carried away.

 

[monique1971]

Probably not very hot and sexy, but some advice

You didn't say whether you can orgasm via masturbation. Most experts on women's sexuality recommend getting to know your own body through self-pleasure. That way you can learn what you like, and be confident enough to ask a partner for it.

Everyone's body is different. There's no single "sure-fire" technique and any man or woman who says he has one is for sure BS-ing you. Most women need some clitoral stimulation. Some need penetration. Some need the entire vulvar area to be massaged, gently or roughly. Some need the g-spot to be stimulated, others don't. This is why masturbation can be so useful.

On average, women take about 20 minutes from a cold start to climax, so maybe your partners just haven't given you enough time to get there. That's something to consider also.

Good luck!

 

[goodshot.ohf]

and I'll preface it by saying that, scout's honor, I have never, through oral nor intercourse, achieved orgasm. sad to say, I've had plenty of both since that first experience.



I can't wait to hear your responses

I've always found that a few thousand well placed strokes of the tongue that comes after a ton of foreplay usually does the trick...wanna see how many licks you take?

ok, seriously...now that I've got your mind going in the right direction, read what i have to say...

you've gotten some really good responses on this non-orgasm topic, so I will try not to revisit all the info that has been shared.
--side not--the best way to do this might not be in a forum type atmosphere, whomever is giving you advice will need you to answer some basic questions in order to guide you in the right direction. that being said, catch me online sometime and pm me ....id love to walk you through a few dozen of my ideas to make you cum.

--okay..some drugs can cause problems...and a lot of people are on drugs...legal or not...so i start by saying if you use alcohol, marijuana, anti-depressants, blood pressure meds, or a long list of other "common" drugs...let me know and i can tell you how to get around the "side effects"

--chemistry has always been important to me in my sexual escapades, if a girl doesn't have that "magic" or "spark" ..well sex isn't gonna be all that thrilling for me. (girls are way more likely to not feel sexy if there is no spark than men..so if i can tell a little...you will be able to tell a lot..)...im not saying you cant have wild nights of passion with people that don't give you a spark....im saying that if your looking for a great time in bed, aim for someone that gets you wet just talking to you on the phone or hangin' out with you.

--it would be best if you could just forget about "trying" to orgasm and just let it happen, but im betting you tried that and it hasnt worked? (again im asking questions that need answers so maybe you can answer them for me and i can help more.) if that is the case then i see 2 options for you...either find a guy that you know and trust well enough to share your "orgasm adventure" with, or find some guy that is wont pick up on your not so subtle hints that you are trying to get your first big O from a sex. (what im saying is either tell the guy or dont...but dont kill yourself trying to decide whether to tell him or not, pick the guy based on whether your gonna tell him or not...that way there isnt pressure to tell or not)

that sounded dumb..but im sure you catch my drift. once you decide which your gonna do, pursue it accordingly, let the guy take you out, enjoy his company, hopefully he will get you a little excited through the evening and by the time its goodnight kiss time you will be begging him to kiss your juicy wet pussy all night long. if at the end of the night, you aren't feeling it, send him home, because another night of what i call "one-sided" sex isn't gonna help much with your frustration.

--onto the bedroom technique..unfortunately you wont be the one pleasing yourself while your with a guy, but that doesnt mean you cant practice all the time! do you orgasm when you masturbate? (again...answers will help me help you) there are a variety of clitoral ways to cum, some girls like to rub their clits with minimal moisture, which increases the friction. some girls rub really hard, some girls go a bit softer, and independent of that..there is speed and direction. my favorite is up and down, but not every girl will cum for me like that, so I vary it until I find what they like. If you find yourself moaning once you've spread your love juices all over your lips and clitoris, then you will likely have to MAKE HIM DO IT TOO. there is no right or wrong with masturbation, and there is also no right or wrong with cunnilingus. if he is using his tongue and he doesnt have enough pressure, tell him harder. if he doesnt still, then try again. if he is too dumb to realize he isnt getting you off, tell him to come up and kiss you, then guide his hand to your clit. most times a combination of hand and tongue will get you off best...but rememeber, be patient with him no matter if its his mouth or hand. he cant feel it like you can, so try to let him know through moaning and panting what you like...but dont fake it...please dont fake it ...

--okay, most guys will be glad to give you an orgasm orally or manually before sex, and i strongly encourage that...at least until you jump this hurdle that seems to be impeeding you. now, you should be leaking like a faucet now, his face should be covered in your juices ....and thats good because he will like it..and i hope you will too....if you find that after 30+minutes of stimulation, your pussy is still not wet, you need lube. there are various reasons for lack of female lubrication, (those drugs i mentioned above are horrible) but thats okay, the lubrication can easily be substituted.

--do you love cocks? (answers would help here) do you like them in your mouth? do you like to jack them off? perhaps you could apply some lube directly to his cock head, and massage it in for him? (whatever you do, dont do it long though, because men can orgasm pretty fast once they get worked up and you want that hard piece of meat inside you...now)

--again, you cant begin to imagine how many different levels of inexperience are out there, but just trust me when i say ...some guys will know ALL the right moves, and some guys will know none. what you are hoping for is one that knows the moves that work for you specifically. if you yourself have knowledge of these moves(whether its angle or depth or speed) it helps...so practice with a "realistic" size toy...

--his cock will slide inside you, and it will feel great, you will relish that first moment, and the rest seems to be up to him....but it doesnt have to be, you have as much control as he does (again some feedback from you on what you've tried so far might help, but ill share what i can think of )...almost all cocks will feel bigger doggy style, but if you didnt start out that way you have to get him to reposition with you...not very tuff just say ...flip me over baby...and hes in you from behind....but if thats a stretch for you, then try just lifting your legs up so that the back of your thighs are between your bodies. this is another little trick that changes the angle, and lets most guys (including me) get just a little more depth, and a LOT more leverage to really hit the right spot....

--now if he doesnt last long, enjoy his orgasm with him...get into it just as you would your own....dont get upset with yourself because you didnt cum that time...just enjoy the fact that you made him cum.

--now another question..do you use condoms or birth control..or anything like a diaphragm or spong or ...anything at all? maybe you just ask them to pull out? ...if i knew the answer to that question id have a lot more to share with you....but i dont so i can just give some vague generalities. condoms decrease his sensation a little depending on what brand and thickness etc...use this to your advantage if you have a man that goes off like a rocket the second hes inside you...but dont tell him !!! the worst thing you can do is hurt your own ego...the second worst is hurt his....if you do somehow hurt his feelings....try a new guy..

im assuming you arent married....but if im wrong, get him in here and we can fix this with him instead of in spite of him...hehe

--just because hes done doesnt mean its over. there are a lot of things that you can do to prolong your good spirits...that is if your still in the mood. id suggest leaving his cock lone for a couple of minutes, unless he stays rock hard and ready for more. but that doesnt mean you have to leave him alone (or yourself for that matter) keep your own mind running with ideas of whats next, touch your own body, and his. he will enjoy seeing you play with yourself to any degree. if you simply pinch your nipples that will get him going in the right direction...but a full blown "finger-orgy" will likely get him up and ready for more. (and of course if you start to see him getting hard or playing with his own cock....feel free to jump in and take that snake in your mouth...or let him stroke himself..its all good...)

--now many times in my "younger" days that second time around was much more intense than the first, and most nights would include 5+ good fucks...especially when i had "new" girlfriend...so remember that plays into it...if youve been with the same guy for a while...its easy to fall into a rut of quick one orgasm sex..(and thats one orgasm, his not yours) but thats okay too...until one of you decides to spice things up and bring some of that new back to the room......but back to where i was...if the guy between your legs is still "new" then you will likely be in for at least several fun attempts....but dont get frustrated if his cum shoots out before your gun goes off...

--is there anything wrong with going to the "washroom" to wipe up after sex and finger yourself again? no of course not, but i would at least shut the door and try not to moan too much...cause the poor guy might feel bad and that might mess up your next round.....

(oh and i suggest masturbating after all sex for women...whether you have to orgasms and feel weak in the knees, or if you feel unfulfilled with none..its always okay to do it yourself....one of the hottest things i can remember was when a girl masturbated as i pulled out and shot my load all over her.....she knew her own body well....hehe)

--i think i have too much to go back and proof read, so sorry for any errors, and i hope you decide to answer some of my questions ....so we can get into you a little further...i mean..umm...yea.. you know what i mean..

(i know i left out a lot, but i didnt wanna just revisit what all our fellow litters have already shared.)

 

[alwaysAmber]

wow, everyone.

the response has been simply unreal.

a lot of the actual concerned responses I got were great. I am (no longer) on any mood or mind altering substances, I am sleeping with someone I'm comfortable with (but not in a committed relationship, which changes the dynamic a bit), I can and do (quite often) orgasm through masturbation, and I'm open to exploring new techniques and what have you. I think, as it's been mentioned, it is definitely more of an emotional than physical issue. not that the emotions aren't tied up in some of the physicalities, but you know. I'm workin' on it

with all that being said, thank you again. both for the amazing erotica I've recieved, both here and in PMs, and for the generous and kind advice. I'm certainly growing to love this Lit community! thanks so much for all your help, and I'll be sure to post a bulletin if it makes a difference anytime soon

know that I'm not sweating it. I thought if anyone in the world could offer some sage advice or hot stories to get me wet, this'd be the place. and by the looks of it I thought right. love you guys

 

[wallstreet1969]

Job #1

wow, everyone.

the response has been simply unreal.

a lot of the actual concerned responses I got were great. I am (no longer) on any mood or mind altering substances, I am sleeping with someone I'm comfortable with (but not in a committed relationship, which changes the dynamic a bit), I can and do (quite often) orgasm through masturbation, and I'm open to exploring new techniques and what have you. I think, as it's been mentioned, it is definitely more of an emotional than physical issue. not that the emotions aren't tied up in some of the physicalities, but you know. I'm workin' on it

with all that being said, thank you again. both for the amazing erotica I've recieved, both here and in PMs, and for the generous and kind advice. I'm certainly growing to love this Lit community! thanks so much for all your help, and I'll be sure to post a bulletin if it makes a difference anytime soon

know that I'm not sweating it. I thought if anyone in the world could offer some sage advice or hot stories to get me wet, this'd be the place. and by the looks of it I thought right. love you guys

glad we can do our part Amber...if not solving your orgasm problem at least getting you wet! one out of two ain't bad!