Rant Rant Rant!

[michchick98]

Here's another definition of a "chick flick"...

It's something only women will go see in pairs, or groups. No pair of (straight) men and certainly no group of (straight) men will ever go see such a flick.

Here are some other main criteria...

-Such a flick will inevitably include a "meet cute" scene

-There are people in powdered wigs and the men are wearing tights, yet the movie doesn't involve endless cannon fire, swashbuckling sword play (either of the metallic or fleshy sort) and copious amounts of gratuitous gore

-The lead ingenue has, or aspires to gain, a chamber maid

-New York's Central Park's is ubiquitous as an uncredited main character

-Ditto, scenes of eating ice cream together on the Champs D'Elysee

-An idyllic scene involving the teary eyed viewing of either "La Dolce Vita" or "Breakfast At Tifanny's" appears somewhere in the flick

-The lead ingenue maintains a diary, and she's not named Anne Frank

-There's a spunky female best friend of Our Heroine, whose skepticism of Our Hero must first be
overcome before everyone can Live Happily Ever After

-There will be The Initial Furtive Revelation Of Their Love, followed soon thereafter by Moments Of Bliss, which will immediately foretell The Misunderstanding, Which Temporarily Fucks Up Everything, before we're finally treated to the Redemption Scene, wherein Our Hero says or does the one Previously Foreshadowed Thing that he needs to say or do in order to sweep Our Heroine off her feet, once and for all

Roll credits, to the accompaniment of a a wonderfully sappy love ditty, and Our Couple once again is joined in a threesome by the eternal mating allure of Central Park.

This is quite possibly the best (and most comprehensive) breakdown (definition) of a "chick flick" I've ever seen. And very true.

 

[michchick98]

Organism is not the same thing as orgasm.

No, seriously dude. If, you're licking your woman to organism, and then pounding her to organism after organism, then you'd better run down and get tested for STDs or check the meat from dinner for botulism or e. coli or salmonella (no, that's not a fish). Is she developing a yeast infection? Bacteria? Are you knocking her up with your tongue and then doing it again with the pounding? Triplets! Do you have no concept of how the whole thing works? You actually have to spooge in her for that to happen. Is there some reason you've decided that calling her a woman isn't as sexy as calling her an organism?

Once, yeah typo, it happens. Every single time? Your consistent inability to spell orgasm means you're stupid.




Whew. I feel better.

Glad you let it all out.

I often have the same problems with stories I read. There are also people I edit on a regular basis who make the same mistakes over and over again. The last time I got one of those stories, I made the corrections (again) with a note to observe my corrections and make sure they're fixed the next time the story is sent to me, otherwise I will send it back unedited.

I do hope that the person whose story you're referring to didn't give credit to an editor. If he/she did, it's obviously sloppy editing.

 

[stevieraygovan]

michchick98, I take it then you've seen a "chick flick" or three in your lifetime...

 

[michchick98]

michchick98, I take it then you've seen a "chick flick" or three in your lifetime...

Yeah, you could say that, the most recent being AUSTRALIA!

 

[stevieraygovan]

Okay, how do you get those little smilie face thingies in your posts? I clicked on one once and it appeared at the top of my post, rather than where I wanted it...

It just did it again. See?

How do I put those things wherever I want them?

 

[driphoney]

Okay, how do you get those little smilie face thingies in your posts? I clicked on one once and it appeared at the top of my post, rather than where I wanted it...

It just did it again. See?

How do I put those things wherever I want them?

The smilies that appear at the top come from those little thingies at the bottom of the page. The ones inside the body of the reply come from the right side of your window.

See?

 

[stevieraygovan]

The only smilie dude choices in my reply window here are located at the bottom of the page. If I click on any one of 'em it'll appear at the top of the post. I don't have any other smilie dude choices on the right side of the page.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Or I could use first hand experience as an actual British person and mention I've never heard crutch used in this way.

I was surprised to see it in the dictionary to be honest. I'm not sure how reflective it is of everyday use, which is the important thing if the intention is to use it in natural sounding dialogue/thought processes of British characters. I personally wouldn't use it, but this may simply be a regional/generational bias on my part.

I'll amend my "fairly certain" to "not heard of in my personal experience" if that makes you happier though.

no? i'm a brit and i've heard it used.

mind you i've heard 'dint' for what i call 'dent' - and the use annoys me.

...not so much i want to pick up a hammer and break limbs - that's reserved for middle lane motorway drivers - but that says a lot about me.

erm...

bye.

 

[sr71plt]

sr71plt, if some people's attempts at writing "different" and "less vanilla" erotica involve dumbing it down to the point of using words like "crotch" or "crutch" when describing a pussy, well, thanks, but no thanks.

I don't need to read fuck stories written by Larry The Cable Guy.

No, I was thinking more in terms of rough sex and ones in which there are characters (probably Brits, since it's a British word) who would naturally use the term in dialogue.

And why or why do we have so many posters thinking that everything posted on Literotica should be to their particular tastes? To the greater Lit. file, I think your not needing to read fuck stories written by Larry the Cable Guy is just your problem to endure (preferably silently)--as long as those who do are willing to endure having stories you like in the file.

 

[sr71plt]

There are also people I edit on a regular basis who make the same mistakes over and over again. The last time I got one of those stories, I made the corrections (again) with a note to observe my corrections and make sure they're fixed the next time the story is sent to me, otherwise I will send it back unedited.

Does that seem to work for you (not being snide)? It's one of my biggest frustrations in the professional editing world that repeat authors will not have learned a damn thing from a previous edit and/or that when I send an edit for their review and they send it back with added material, the added material has the same line of habitual mistakes in it that was in the stuff they'd just reviewed with those mistakes consistently fixed.

 

[stevieraygovan]

sr71plt, that's why I listed "crotch/crutch" as one of my pet peeves and it's why I said I don't need to read fuck stories written by Larry The Cable Guy.

I never said I speak for everyone, or that everything ought to be written to my tastes. If other people like those terms and they want to read and write those kinds of stories, more power to 'em.

God knows, I want nothing to do with the vast majority of what's posted on Lit. That fact doesn't stop me from finding plenty of things I do like on Lit.

Obviously, there's a little something out there for everybody.

I guarantee you that even in those things you enjoy reading you still stumble across your own pet peeves. You're sitting there, happily reading along, enjoying some story, when suddenly...bam...something jumps out at you that just grates on you like nails on a chalkboard.

That's what we're talking about here.

 

[michchick98]

Does that seem to work for you (not being snide)? It's one of my biggest frustrations in the professional editing world that repeat authors will not have learned a damn thing from a previous edit and/or that when I send an edit for their review and they send it back with added material, the added material has the same line of habitual mistakes in it that was in the stuff they'd just reviewed with those mistakes consistently fixed.

It's about 50/50. The last person I edited whose story I made the comments about the same mistakes hasn't contacted me again, but he usually doesn't after my edits. I won't know until he sends me another story to edit (or not.)

A few of the people whom I've edited have thanked me and have improved in their habitual mistakes. They still make them, but they're fewer with each story, so it tells me they're making an honest effort.

I try not to be to brutal when I'm frustrated with writers who make the same mistakes, but sometimes it's difficult. The person who edits me gets frustrated with me because I always seem to misspell the same words. (matress for mattress, ocassion for occasion, etc. and yes, I do have the spell check on, I just always miss those, but I am getting better.)

 

[michchick98]

The only smilie dude choices in my reply window here are located at the bottom of the page. If I click on any one of 'em it'll appear at the top of the post. I don't have any other smilie dude choices on the right side of the page.

Okay, you might have a different message editing option selected. Look at the top of the page here. Where it says USER CP, click on that.

On the left, click on Edit Options. Scroll to the bottom where it says Miscellaneous Options. Where you see Message Editing Interface use the pulldown menu and select Standard Editor - Extra Formatting Controls.

Click Save Changes.

Now, if I explained this right, you should be able to see the smileys over on the right along with formatting options (b (bold) i (italic) u (underline) font sizes, colors, add a link, etc) at the top.

 

[stevieraygovan]

michchick98, I have the most frustrating method of editing. See, I don't use a spell checker and I don't use an editor. I simply write the story in Word, and then I C&P it into Lit's submission window. I then try to edit it.

What always happens is I seem to finish writing a story well after midnight. Then I begin editing it. By the time I'm nearing the end of the editing process it's approaching dawn, and I'm a zombie.

I finish, and I hit "submit story."

A few days later, the story appears on the site. I read it again, looking for errors.

That's when I catch them, and sure enough, nearly every time there will be more errors towards the end of the story. The longer I stay awake, the more errors I miss.

I don't have the patience to do what I know I should do, which is to set it aside and edit it some other day, when I'm fresh. Nobody's paying me for these stories so I've just learned to accept that over the course of a four or five page story I'm going to miss five or six typos and other screw ups, and they'll likely be bunched up more towards the end of the story.

The other interesting thing about this process is that I always catch way more of my mistakes once the story is up on the site. That's when I notice my paragraph spacing errors and my quotes within quotes errors with commas.

I've noticed that my first few stories stories were much worse in this regard. With each new story I paid more attention to those things, and I can see the improvements in the most recent stories.

It just sucks that I never really catch these issues until it's too late, when the story is already posted. I just don't seem to be able to proofread nearly as well in Word or in Lit's submission window as I do when the story is up on the site and it has the contrasting borders and thicker font.

 

[stevieraygovan]

Hey, michchick! Thanks!

<-----------

You rule!

<-----------

 

[michchick98]

It just sucks that I never really catch these issues until it's too late, when the story is already posted. I just don't seem to be able to proofread nearly as well in Word or in Lit's submission window as I do when the story is up on the site and it has the contrasting borders and thicker font.

Please don't take this personally, because I'm a writer, too, but writers are their own worst enemies when it comes to editing.

Often times we've read something so many times our minds simply won't see the errors any longer. I know that's the case with myself. That's why I have another person read through my story after its been edited.

I know there are writers who don't like to wait for an editor to go through his/her story and that's fine, but sometimes its better, considering all the grammar/spelling/punctuation nazis we have on Lit. Those people, regardless if they liked the story or not, are more likely to comment on the errors rather than the content of the story.

If you're catching your mistakes after the story is posted, by then it's too late, the damage has been done and even if you edit the original and repost it, it'll take another week for the edited version to appear.

Your best bet is to ask in the Editor's Forum for an editor with a quick turnaround time. Right now, I'd offer, but I've got a lot of things going on offline that would limit my time editing and my turnaround time would be about two days.

 

[stevieraygovan]

michchick, nah, it's no biggie. I'll live with my little errors, and I'll just keep trying to be more vigilant.

It's getting better all the time, and like you said, I'm one of those people who doesn't have the patience to wait for the turn around time.

Besides, I'm far more critical than anybody else is of my mistakes. Nobody has ever commented to me that any story of mine was marred by the need for an editor. Nobody's ever even commented on any of my mistakes.

Now, sure, if somebody was offering to pay me for this stuff then I'd care more. If it meant the difference in getting a paying writing gig then I'd really insist on perfection.

This is just a hobby for me, so it's not much of a problem. Like I said, I notice it more than "my readers" do...

 

[stevieraygovan]

michchick, you know, I may just have to break down and try being patient.

My latest story just appeared on the site, sort of, (I'll get to that in a minute) and after reading it, wooo, there were some cringe-worthy errors I missed in editing. Overall, I'm really happy with the chapter, and I did a better job with paragraph spacing and the placement of commas within quotes, but man did I miss some big screw ups.

There was the wrong tense of a word here, the wrong person named there and a missing or double word elsewhere. One or two comma screw ups too.

Looks like I'm still good for my usual couple of screw ups per page, even when I attempt to get some sleep before editing.

You're right, when it's your own story your eyes just don't catch everything. Your brain sees what it expects to see.

Some of the things I missed, they just made me wince. Took all the air out of my balloon.

Weird thing, though, about this chapter. It's still not up on the site yet, but it's showing as "approved" on my submissions page. If you go there now it's listed there, even though it's yet to appear on today's collection of new stories.

Weirder still is that it already has some votes, despite the fact that it hasn't even appeared yet on the site! How in the hell does that happen?

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=412913

 

[michchick98]

Weird thing, though, about this chapter. It's still not up on the site yet, but it's showing as "approved" on my submissions page. If you go there now it's listed there, even though it's yet to appear on today's collection of new stories.

Weirder still is that it already has some votes, despite the fact that it hasn't even appeared yet on the site! How in the hell does that happen?

It's there, about 12th down on the list.

 

[stevieraygovan]

Yep, now it's there. Most of the day it wasn't there. Weird.

Weirder still, even though it's now there and somebody must've clicked on it by now it's still showing zero views, but two votes.

 

[sr71plt]

Yep, now it's there. Most of the day it wasn't there. Weird.

Weirder still, even though it's now there and somebody must've clicked on it by now it's still showing zero views, but two votes.

That's not abnormal. I often see mine registered as posted for several hours before I see it posted in the view from one of my computers--while the other computer on my desk (using the same ISP) already has it posted. One of the mysteries of the Internet, I guess.

It goes with some stories (not mine, I'm sorry to say) that register hot in my computer's view right after they've posted in my computer's view.

 

[Darkniciad]

Normally, your story will update on your submissions page immediately. The NEW list doesn't always update so quickly. My latest had five votes before it ever appeared in the New list, and at least one person mentioned being glad they checked my page, since the story wasn't in the new list yet. I'm fairly certain that two of the other emails I got before the new list updated were from regular anonymous readers, going to my page first, as I recognized the style of the messages.

This was one that had the date already on it with the link anchor missing from "pending", meaning that it went up automatically at exactly midnight on the date listed. The New list didn't update until after 1 am.

 

[michchick98]

Yep, now it's there. Most of the day it wasn't there. Weird.

Weirder still, even though it's now there and somebody must've clicked on it by now it's still showing zero views, but two votes.

I've noticed that in the past on my new stuff too and I don't think that's anything to worry about. Usually within a day the numbers catch up.

 

[evanslily]

michchick98, I have the most frustrating method of editing. See, I don't use a spell checker and I don't use an editor. I simply write the story in Word, and then I C&P it into Lit's submission window. I then try to edit it.

I know this was aimed at michchick98, so excuse me if it seems I'm wading in on this one. Just thought I'd offer a suggestion. Why edit your stories from the submission window? Why not edit them in Word first?

I can understand that when you hit 'preview' on the Lit page, it comes up in a different font, etc., so you can see errors more easily. But I do this in Word before I use the c&p box. Something that works for me (most of the time--there's always the odd pesky typo, no matter what you do, it seems ) is to highlight all the text in Word, change the font and enlarge it. Just having it in a different font and size seems to highlight typos that you'd otherwise miss.

As I said, just a thought.

 

[stevieraygovan]

I know this was aimed at michchick98, so excuse me if it seems I'm wading in on this one. Just thought I'd offer a suggestion. Why edit your stories from the submission window? Why not edit them in Word first?

I do it that way for the precise reason you mentioned: The different font makes it easier to see my errors.

I got lazy, though. The best way to do it is to load it into Lit and then hit "Preview." That way, I can really see the errors. That works.

Problem there is every time I catch an error I then have to go back to the "Edit" program screen. Back and forth, back and forth, between "Preview" and "Edit."

Soon, I gave up on doing it that way. I just stayed in the "Edit" screen, where I could easily make the corrections.

I sure don't spot 'em as easily there, so I need to do something different. I either need to get back to using the "Preview" window to spot my corrections or maybe I'll even try C&P-ing the entire thing into one of these message board forum "submit response" windows. When I hit "Preview" here it'll still come up in a better font, but these "Preview" windows here allow you to also simply pull the page down and make your corrections right there on the same page. Sure, you still have to hit "Preview" again to lock in the corrections but at least you don't have to bounce back and forth between two different windows.