Really bad advice....

[MisterChillax]

Perfectly fine to watch porn on your work computer. Nobody cares. You can even invite your co-workers to watch along.

 

[ImThe3rdWheel]

Always give your wife driving advise, she totally appreciates it

 

[LeBaronSamedi]

You can still eat bread when it's green.

 

[Photog1rl]

Send unsolicited nudes really early on in your PM exchange.

 

[ImThe3rdWheel]

Send unsolicited nudes really early on in your PM exchange.

Ok, you have a PM Coming through shortly

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

If they have a pattern of breaking hearts, they’ve probably gotten it out of their system, and learned from their mistakes. They won’t do it to you too. Go ahead and let your guard down. You’re all good

 

[Btq97]

It's perfectly fine to mention you have the hots for her grandma.

 

[Live_Oak]

If your lover is doing something in bed that you are not particularly enjoying, simply say, “Honey, my ex did it this way, and it was much better.”

They will applaud the honesty.

 

[Taegul]

Lining your fleshlight with sandpaper will make it last longer. Just remember to replace the sandpaper every 7-9 uses.

 

[MileHighBlackDiamond]

By all means, get between a bull elk and his desired mate while he is bugling, you'll get a memorable picture!

 

[SolarClint]

The best way to check if the electrical wire is hot is to lick your fingers and touch it. The spit on you fingers is an insulator.

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

After a nice long run cool down with an ice cold gallon of milk.

 

[dkak001]

When you have an upset stomach, have a banana to soothe it and a sprite to wash it down.

 

[CreekyBonz]

If the ice is thick enough to walk on, it's safe to drive on.

 

[SolarClint]

When wiring your house, the wire colors don’t matter

 

[XShadynzX]

Always get your husband/ bf to ask for directions if you get lost on a road trip. He'll be grateful

 

[FosterK]

Look it only hurts 'til the pain goes away...

 

[MiaBabe23]

When you talk to a woman you want for the first time, imagine a Shakespearian volume’s worth of sophisticated dialogue has already happened, and just say what’s on your mind

 

[itsnotacombover]

Ti's a fingerin it shall be !

 

[lilmissdarling]

When ypur boss calls you into his office. Start the conversation with "What the fuck do you need now?"

 

[dkak001]

@lilmissdarling ^That's funny! lol.

Overheard a coworker tell the boss once "If you did it, you'd fuck it up!". Don't think I've ever been so close to seeing someone murdered in front of me... lol.

 

[Taegul]

Those dotted lines on the freeway are there so you can practice your slalom racing skills.

 

[dombeotch]

Women love it when a man takes what he wants. How else are you going to see if she's really a lesbian? You may be the great "Converter"! She will be thanking you...

 

[Taegul]

Driving around with a spare tire only adds extra weight that hurts fuel mileage and acceleration. Ditch the spare tire, what could possibly go wrong?

(Yeah, I'm at Discount Tire right now)

 

[dkak001]

Think to yourself something about driving. Like, "Wow, I've never hit a deer!".