Returning Newbie - Still seeking Answers

[Ebonyfire]

deleted.

 

[FungiUg]

Much better. You did not state it that way before. There is a difference. I did not misunderstand you, Fungi. It was stated in a manner that I found offensive to the concept of the submissive male.

My apologies, I hadn't meant to be offensive at all.

As I've stated many times, everyone deserves respect.

Just in this case, I know I have spoken to my lover about her playing with a male submissive or me trying to submit to her, and the conversation made us realise that our relationship is founded on certain dynamics. Those dynamics include the fact that we are both dominant (read "stubborn as mules") and were that particular dynamic to change, it wouldn't be the same relationship.

And in this case, I delved further to discover that my lover doesn't respect submissive males. I've yet to discover why, because I know she has no similar issue with submissive females. This is not a "dislike" issue, just a "wouldn't work for me relationship-wise" issue -- she's not derogatory towards them.

To come back to the point -- it's an imperfect world. So despite the fact that everyone deserves respect regardless of gender or role, many people do have expectations and don't regard people outside of those roles in the same way.

So "losing respect" from your partner by confessing an urge to submit (or for that matter, dominate) is a very real issue. I know if I were submissive at heart, rather than dominant, I'd be struggling with my own relationship much much more.

So yes, it's still worth exploring with your partner, but some care is required!