Romantically Dominant Male

[ataxia.girl]

Broken slaves can't serve.

we can but its not the best service, not the best we have and i want to be with someone who cares enough to get my best.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Honestly, I hate to speak for OSG, but I think her longterm health would be a concern, it just seems like her D is very fond of making it clear that that's his *choice* and his *benevolence* when it is.

It was a bad choice of example. She'll probably chew me out herself the next time she stops by.

 

[Essene]

Wow, see, I'm still quite new to all this. My girl, while she's my sub, and means the world to me. I feel since she's given herself to me like this, I am obligated to take care of her and make sure she's happy. I give her flowers and in the bedroom I'll spank her. She's not my slave... But, then again, we're not 24/7 type people.

It definitely sounds like you're needing a change in your relationship dynamics for sure.

We ARE 24/7 type people, and I feel a great obligation to take care of him, make sure he's healthy and happy overall. If he's not, what good is he to me? When he's sick or hurting, I want to take care of him. When he's going through a tough time I want to help him out.

So, I'd say the attitude depends on the people, not the type of relationship.

PMuse, it pains me to hear you were treated that way. I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to want someone who cares about your wellbeing, and I hope you find that caring in your next partner.

That's NOT needy! That's just human consideration.

I'm so sorry you've been treated so shabbily. This sort of thing is inexcusable and reprehensible. What kind of human being doesn't take care of another person like that?

That's just some fucked up shit.

If you lose touch with your own ability to butter your own toast when your human property is falling over, you may still be a Dominant, but you have issues.

Yeah....

That crosses the line from Dominant to Abusive for me. And it sounds frankly unsafe, not particularly sane (who doesn't care for a partner who has just passed out and cracked their head?!), and you may have been "consenting" by not walking out the door, but that surely doesn't sound like a consensual and mutually satisfying relationship.


Anyhow. Point is, I don't think that's particularly what is meant by D/S, and I don't think you sound particularly needy for wanting a relationship that is D/s and isn't punctuated by a lack of consideration, care or anything except 24/7 hour slavery (some people's cup of tea. It's just not mine). It sounds like you and your PYL have some important conversations to cover, though.

I am sorry you were ever MISTREATED like that... D/s is never supposed to be like that I mean even in a M/s dynamic You are a gift that should be cherished. If I were ever treated like that I would be out the door quicker than I came through it. You should have never stayed nor put up with that thats not even humane for a dog let alone a beautiful wonderful submissive.

Um, thanks for being so supportive folks. I'm out of it now.

I see some really great, happy, healthy D/s relationships, and my initial comment was just to say that D/s comes in many forms. I just question whether I'd be able to find and maintain a solidly "healthy" D/s relationship from the bottom perspective if it were to come my way.

I prefer to be alone now because it's healthy for me. I seem to be addicted to making bad relationship decisions - either by purposefully dating assholes/abusers, or subconsciously ruining anything good that comes my way.

I'm kind of a sick puppy like that. You know, anger fuels me, and suffering inspires me...okay, so maybe sicker than your average puppy.

But I really appreciate all of the kind comments. So, thanks.

My Sir cares about me to no end I see that in everything he does, he is still in charge he makes alot of my decisions in regards to my pleasure or my pain. But in public he opens all the doors for me, he pays for dinner or lunch or breakfast, he kisses my hand at times, he is very romantic, he calls when I am under the weather, he tells me how much he adores me and misses me when we are apart. Recently I was injured by a nasty spider bite and before I even knew how bad I was going to become he had been on the phone from that morning until I got out of the hospital and even then continued to call me while I was recovering in the hotel, came to see me the next day to check on me, made sure I got my Rx and had been following the doctors orders and has since continued to check on me every few hours, he didnt even sleep the first night very well at all cause he was so worried espically when we found out it was a black widow bite... I am blessed to have a romantically dominant male in my life

You are so sweet, and I'm glad that you're happy and well cared for.

 

[CarrotandStick]

Say what now?

Like he takes you out often, and when he does he gives you flowers and opens doors... He cuddles you, and takes care of you, and makes you tea when you're sick, and you take care of him the rest of the time...

and then in private he grabs you by the hair and forces (let's be honest it's not really forcing ) you to perform and partake in lewd sexual acts?

I need to sign me up for some of that.

Hallelujah, I'm not an indecisive wierdo. Glad to know there are subs out there who think that that kind of dichotomy is having your cake and getting to eat it too.
Hope for me yet, I guess!

 

[Sqoodd]

I have got something to say on this subject, but I want to read the entire thread first. Maybe tomorrow.

 

[Essene]

Hallelujah, I'm not an indecisive wierdo. Glad to know there are subs out there who think that that kind of dichotomy is having your cake and getting to eat it too.
Hope for me yet, I guess!

*scratches head*

You mean there's more?

 

[Sqoodd]

*scratches head*

You mean there's more?

You might ask, "What do other subs do?" Just take it. Some subsets are not for everyone. If they are in different subset, then there will be plenty of miscommunication.

Yeah....
… care or anything except 24/7 hour slavery (some people's cup of tea. It's just not mine).

It is a great thing when the D finds the s in the same subset of BDSM. They both will trive!!!

 

[Essene]

Just take it. Some subsets are not for everyone. If they are in different subset, then there will be plenty of miscommunication.

I was actually being somewhat facetious...

Of course if you could elaborate on the different "subsets" I'd greatly appreciate it.

 

[Sqoodd]

I have seen subsets of BDSM. I am sure there are more, but I have labled:

Sexual/Domestic
Punishment
Humiliation

Each set has their own likes and dislikes. If a particular Dom likes to Punish his subs and that sub desires the domestic aspect of her servitude, then they are in for a wild ride. I know which subset sub I would like to find. Then we both will flourish.

I also want to thank you.

 

[Essene]

From what I've observed of the people who have posted here, this whole BDSM thing is pretty complex.

I mean there are dabblers who'd like to spice up their marriage, and then there are hard core lifestylers.

Pretty interesting stuff.

 

[Sqoodd]

From a post on another thread:

I think one time someone asked me if I was a service sub, or a painslut.
I told them that my submissive side is a combination of both...

I think that it's very common for people to want to categorize, but I think that D/s is far too complex and broad to be squeezed into three categories, but those were the ones I have witnessed. I know that I am taking some of the most distinct and unique people and trying to simplify them. I still don't know that it works too well.
However, I think the question was a legitimate question to be asked.

The PYL should get to know the likes and dislikes of a particular pyl in the beginning. That could mean the difference between success and failure.

If I found a sub that enjoys being in a subset that I particular did not like, then she would not find me fulfilling (that is different that ‘filling’ ).

 

[Sqoodd]

Originally Posted by CarrotandStick
Hallelujah, I'm not an indecisive wierdo. Glad to know there are subs out there who think that that kind of dichotomy is having your cake and getting to eat it too.
Hope for me yet, I guess!

Yes CarrotandStick, there are subs out here that want that and there a Doms that treat their subs with dignity. Hopefully you will find her. Keep looking.


Speaking of “having your cake and getting to eat it too” don’t forget to eat her. If she is used as a plate, then you will be able to lick the plate.


I love your signature especially the part: My shoulder devil says I have a Dominant streak. My shoulder angel pretends not to hear and twiddles his thumbs…” I thought that since this was the BDSM board then it could be “My shoulder devil says I have a Dominant streak. My shoulder angel was bounded and gagged earlier in the day and is no where to be seen.”
Just a thought.

 

[CarrotandStick]

Yes CarrotandStick, there are subs out here that want that and there a Doms that treat their subs with dignity. Hopefully you will find her. Keep looking.

Will do. *salutes* I like dignity. I like doting and caring. I also occasionally enjoy BDSM and humiliation play, among other savoury delights.

Speaking of “having your cake and getting to eat it too” don’t forget to eat her. If she is used as a plate, then you will be able to lick the plate.

Awesome sauce.

I love your signature especially the part: My shoulder devil says I have a Dominant streak. My shoulder angel pretends not to hear and twiddles his thumbs…” I thought that since this was the BDSM board then it could be “My shoulder devil says I have a Dominant streak. My shoulder angel was bounded and gagged earlier in the day and is no where to be seen.”
Just a thought.

Maybe. My Dominant side is still very much in an eager, exploratory phase though, and my shoulder angel, as evidenced by this discussion, is very much a part of that need. I want to dote and care, but I want to be adored and worshipped for that.
Maybe not best wording, but you get my drift. =)

 

[Sqoodd]

Sorry CarrotandStick,
The signature struck me as funny, but my mind took it in a different direction. I may use it one day.

 

[harem00]

.....

 

[Sqoodd]

As much as I would like to have faith, I'll believe it when I see it. I don't think any of them live in DC though. *sigh*

Check the information to the right. Not in, but near.

 

[SubKekiLee]

As much as I would like to have faith, I'll believe it when I see it. I don't think any of them live in DC though. *sigh*

Oh I KNOW of one who does live in the DC area but he is taken.. but if you join the black rose... or on fet DC area BDSM youll meet some I promise you ..

 

[Hisscarlett]

My Master could definitely be called a Romantically Dominant Male, though he would blanche on hearing it.

He treats me like a princess, looking after me if I am unwell, opening doors, helping me in and out of the car, carrying things, complimenting me, being witty and charming to all and generally being the consumate gentleman.

At all times, though, he is in control. He makes all the decisions and I serve his every need, even when we are out I am responsible for fetching anything he needs or wants. I defer to him in everything and would never dream of being cheeky or backchatting as I know the consequences. We do have fun, teasing and laughing together but I know where the line is.

Just last night I was speaking with two friends and they were commenting on how gentlemanly Master was, how even tempered and slow to anger. One said that of all the men she knew Master was the only one she would trust to take her daughter on a round the world cruise and that I was spoilt.

It pleased me so much to hear him praised that way, and there was a frisson of thrill as I thought of how they would not recognise him as the same man who has no qualms in beating me util I am a sobbing mess with bruises and welts over my body, or who orders me to strip and kneel to suck his cock with no warning while calling me his cunt or some other petname.

I adore him and am so blessed to be his slave. Life for me, is perfect, and I couldn't be happier.

The one thing he doesn't do, though, is buy me flowers. He never has, and his reason is that he doesn't want to make the flowers feel shamed by my beauty. He is a charmer!

 

[harem00]

.....

 

[CutieMouse]

Please explain this to me. Are all D/s relationships 24/7 controlling? I am new to this realm and while I am interested into taking it more seriously in the bedroom, I am not interested in it infiltrating (too much) outside of that. Is that unrealistic?

Nope - they're however you want them to be. The trick is finding a partner who wants the same thing as you.

 

[Sqoodd]

Please explain this to me. Are all D/s relationships 24/7 controlling? I am new to this realm and while I am interested into taking it more seriously in the bedroom, I am not interested in it infiltrating (too much) outside of that. Is that unrealistic?

Nope, it is not too unrealistic. I agree with CutieMouse. I would be glad to be some help for you.

 

[Hisscarlett]

harem00 I am sorry if my wording misled you. I was speaking purely of my own situation, D/s relationships are as varied in nature as any other relationship. It is purely that in my situation it is what we both desired and chose. It is up to everyone to decide what they need and want and then seek that.

Please do not think that I was being prescriptive, I was inside being descriptive.

 

[Sqoodd]

harem00 I am sorry if my wording misled you. I was speaking purely of my own situation, D/s relationships are as varied in nature as any other relationship. It is purely that in my situation it is what we both desired and chose. It is up to everyone to decide what they need and want and then seek that.

Please do not think that I was being prescriptive, I was inside being descriptive.

Here, here, Hisscarlett. I agree. Communication is key is every relationship.

 

[MsToriJones]

The cardinal rule I learned for Owner and owned alike was "Protect the property".

Ah so true and broke owners can not be properly served either

*I had to edit this because it should have said "can not be" instead of "can be"

 

[Sqoodd]

Ah so true and broke owners can be properly served either

Welcome MsToriJones.

I agree with you.


Good posting.