Rules for my girlfriend

[midwestyankee]

Oops. My bad, y'all.

You're durned right! Go strew your rainbows where they'll not endanger people. Or if you must endanger folk out of some kinky southern need to be bad, do it in Salt Lake City where they may never quite get the irony of it anyways.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Etoile]

The "we're mean to newbies"/"we tell it like it is" stuff is OLD, people. The board is what it is. We are not the only source of information on the internet. If people don't like it here, they can go elsewhere.

 

[BiBunny]

The "we're mean to newbies"/"we tell it like it is" stuff is OLD, people. The board is what it is. We are not the only source of information on the internet. If people don't like it here, they can go elsewhere.

But, Etoile, why go somewhere else when you can bitch about it here?

 

[WriterDom]

One simple thing you can do is have her inventory her panties and pick a pair out for her everyday. And once in a while throw in a no panty day. As for other things you should know what turns her on. Use it. Throw in a little creativity. It isn't rocket science.

 

[Etoile]

But, Etoile, why go somewhere else when you can bitch about it here?

Lemme guess, there's psychology involved here...hmm...

 

[unregistered]

 

[midwestyankee]

On the question of OP preferences

Some might find this post to be interesting.

It had a certain familiar ring to it.

 

[Etoile]

I don’t think people here are mean, in general. I’ve met some very nice folks. I do think that we (please not the inclusive nature of the pronoun selected) can be rude and a little inconsiderate if we aren’t careful. That’s all I’m saying.

Well you were a newbie not long ago and you've integrated fine, so clearly we're not scaring everyone away.

I just don't like the suggestion that we should be coddling people so we don't scare them away. If a newbie doesn't like what they see, they can go elsewhere. Lit is pretty damn huge and thriving and we don't need to keep every new member who shows up. Some people fit in and some don't. Lit rolls on.

 

[Etoile]

Some might find this post to be interesting.

It had a certain familiar ring to it.

Damn, that's sad. Not only does she not know how to make her sub happy, she doesn't know how to make herself happy. Or didn't two years ago.

Ladies, gentlemen, and invited transgendered species - we've been had.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Harmony_1985]

I don't recall you coming in and showing your ass, either.

(Of course, if you HAD shown your ass, I don't think I'd have minded too much.

lmao, i can put the backside back up if you want

And just an fyi, Netz scares me, idk why, she just does.

 

[Etoile]

Even if the self decreed “enlightened” among us are proven correct in their opinion of a poster, as it certainly appears to have been the case here, it’s no excuse to be less than considerate with people; UNTIL YOU KNOW FOR SURE.

I'd say we've been burned too many times. This happens a lot around here...somebody shows up for a single post and never comes back. Someone will try to provide help, someone will write a long essay in attempt to help, and the person never comes back. So yeah, those of us who are jaded are jaded for a reason. And we're used to the syndrome, so we recognize it when we see it.

Is the internet a civil society? I'd say not. Should it be? No, it should be what its people make it. You can't police politeness. It's nice to be nice, but not everybody is. So you develop a thick skin and take on those same characteristics. It's usually a response to experiences. Some people are out to be mean on purpose, but like I said...fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. We're not being fooled anymore.

 

[unregistered]

 

[CutieMouse]

I will preface this by stating *up front* that I am in a craptastic mood.

Hostility toward the “uninitiated” is pretty normal; it goes to the practice of hazing that can be found in human culture going back thousands of years. It’s made worse in the online environment by the general lack of accountability on the part of everyone. We can “tell it like it is”, “be brutally honest” and just “be straight” with folks without ever having to worry about recriminations that can’t be ignored – in this case, literally and as easily as clicking a button.

Let me be clear - I am very fucking careful with the words I choose, and how I use them. I weigh them, I judge them, I often edit a post three or four times before hitting submit. Even at my most blunt, I do everything in my power to remain civil and respectful. I am responsible for my words. I am not responsible for the way others perceive my "tone" (difficult at best to discern online), nor their hurt feelings if my good intentions are contrary to the laundry list of pornography/spoon feeding they expected to receive.

That said, it is a good idea to think first and speak second. It’s insanely easy for a neophyte top to step in it big time by underestimating the impact of a course of action on THEIR time, “Oh crap, it’s Monday and I need ANOTHER set of rules?”

So in other words, you're chastising the posters previous to you, for pointing out what you, yourself just said?

What I find interesting is that the people taking potshots at the young lady seem to have forgotten just how clueless they were once.

Show me where I was rude to the OP. Show me where I took potshots. Show me where I used uncivil language, was crass, belittled, or otherwise put her down. Show me where I gave poor advice. Show me where I failed to make any sort of investment in the betterment of the OP's situation [long term].

(BTW - every comment I made was from a submissive perspective. I would be A) seriously pissed and B) suffer doubts regarding my partner's capability/responsibility If I found out he was getting off on/implementing step 4 before figuring out steps 1, 2, or 3.)

But then I forget; the vast majority of us on line sprang from our mother’s womb equipped with handcuff keys and bullwhips with a full mastery of every knot in the Blue Jacket’s Manual and a Class One Rigging Master’s license.

I took 5 minutes [that I didn't have to spare] the other day ,to offer my assistance to the OP, out of concern that a newbie was putting the cart before the horse. I could have ignored the thread; I almost did. My apologies for second guessing my own intuition.

 

[unregistered]

 

[BiBunny]

I love you, Ms. Mouse, and I agree with every word. Lit: Love it, or leave it.

 

[lilylicious]

For the record, I've found everyone, with very very few exception, on the bdsm board here on lit to be exceptionally helpful, respectful, and intelligent. I'm still a newbie, I know, but I feel right at home. And just like anywhere else, there are lots of personalities that keep things interesting.

*gets off soap box*

I've gotten a lot of great ideas off of here but have also created a lot of "fun" sub assignments on my own I think other Dominants might find interesting for using with their own subs. Creating these assignments is almost as fun as having them completed for me

Is there another place where these kinds of ideas could be shared and archived other than in responses to questions just like this one?

If no, I don't see a problem with asking the question itself. The tone doesn't bother me, though I can see how it might bother others.

 

[Kathykitten]

For the record, I've found everyone, with very very few exception, on the bdsm board here on lit to be exceptionally helpful, respectful, and intelligent. I'm still a newbie, I know, but I feel right at home. And just like anywhere else, there are lots of personalities that keep things interesting.

*gets off soap box*

I've gotten a lot of great ideas off of here but have also created a lot of "fun" sub assignments on my own I think other Dominants might find interesting for using with their own subs. Creating these assignments is almost as fun as having them completed for me

Is there another place where these kinds of ideas could be shared and archived other than in responses to questions just like this one?

If no, I don't see a problem with asking the question itself. The tone doesn't bother me, though I can see how it might bother others.

hm.... Maybe we should open a thread for sharing? I felt like you, tone didn't bother me one bit. Thuogh i guess I can see how it can be picked up as the "wrong" kind.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Etoile]

The following is NOT A FLAME OR ATTACK ...

The fact that you somehow equate experience with how long I've been on this board is in itself worrisome. There is a life outside the net.

I was also factoring in your post count and specifically addressing Lit-experience rather than life-experience. Sorry if it seemed otherwise.

 

[Etoile]

We're at the point where I'd bet a dollar that the OP isn't coming back though. It's that same syndrome that we always see. Would expressing only helpful platitudes have brought her back? Based on her erratic posting history, I don't think so. YMMV.

 

[midwestyankee]

We're at the point where I'd bet a dollar that the OP isn't coming back though. It's that same syndrome that we always see. Would expressing only helpful platitudes have brought her back? Based on her erratic posting history, I don't think so. YMMV.

It's entirely possible that, due to her limited and erratic posting history, she just hasn't yet caught on to the mien of the bdsm forum. It's also entirely possible that she never would. But it's not our job to try to psych out each new person who does a hit-and-run help-me-please post. All we can do is take each post at its face value.

The face value of the OP was of someone who committed to an endeavor before being prepared for it. That struck more than a few here as irresponsible and some of them, the always efficacious Ms. CM among them, to call out the OP's modus operandi.

It wasn't her newness that brought out the critical responses. It was her lax and irresponsible attitude toward taking the D-side reins.

 

[girl_4_girl]

Hi there, my girlfriend is mine, she will do as I say and without question. Earlier today I told her I would give her tasks to complete on a daily basis. These are things that she would have to do every day, on her own, so they cant be too intricate. Ideas such as masturbating while at work, or not wearing any underwear, stripping naked in the car, etc. I just need some ideas as I for some reason am drawing a blank. I told her I would have them by tomorrow, so any help would be great. Thank you.

My apologies for not responding quickly. I have actually been really busy with school and life. So, my understanding is that this post got horribly misunderstood and blown up. So I would like to clarify where I am coming from and I hope we can kinda make a new start.

1) This is not a "Bored with a boner" post. I am actually curious about getting into the Dom/Sub lifestyle, but both my girlfriend and I are completely new to it all.

2) Like I just said, we are completely new, so we don't have experience with this. That would explain why I spoke before having a game plan, as some of your have gotten mad at me for doing.

3) I am not here out of laziness, I am here because I want to learn as much as I can before I screw something up permanently.

4) I said in my original post "my girlfriend is mine, she will do as I say and without question". But at this point, we both kinda take turns. Like I said, we are new to this, so we don't know who likes being Dom and who likes being Sub, so for now, we are experimenting with both roles. Currently I am the acting Dom and I am enjoying it, as is she.

5) I came here for some ideas, because although I have some fun things going through my mind, I figured that you guys had way more experience with things like this and could come up with some really clever rules for her that I never would have thought of. I never meant for this post to get so serious and hateful, I meant it to get some new ideas from those more experienced than I.

6) Although this post didn't go where I though it would, I have learned a little bit already. I like the reply someone sent about not having daily tasks, because they get mundane. So, I am now changing my wording on that, "I would just like rules for her to follow showing that she will act out my wishes, not daily tasks."

7) Finally, yes I am a girl, haha. Sorry if that was confusing at first, you guys seemed to pick up on it pretty quick though. Good job.

8) Thank you in advance for any ideas, and sorry about the confusion in the beginning. I will try to get on here again soon to answer any other questions before the thread gets out of hand again.

Have a great day.

 

[Etoile]

Best. Comeback (ie, return). Ever.

Good to see you came back, g4g.

My apologies for not responding quickly. I have actually been really busy with school and life. So, my understanding is that this post got horribly misunderstood and blown up. So I would like to clarify where I am coming from and I hope we can kinda make a new start.

1) This is not a "Bored with a boner" post. I am actually curious about getting into the Dom/Sub lifestyle, but both my girlfriend and I are completely new to it all.

2) Like I just said, we are completely new, so we don't have experience with this. That would explain why I spoke before having a game plan, as some of your have gotten mad at me for doing.

3) I am not here out of laziness, I am here because I want to learn as much as I can before I screw something up permanently.

4) I said in my original post "my girlfriend is mine, she will do as I say and without question". But at this point, we both kinda take turns. Like I said, we are new to this, so we don't know who likes being Dom and who likes being Sub, so for now, we are experimenting with both roles. Currently I am the acting Dom and I am enjoying it, as is she.

5) I came here for some ideas, because although I have some fun things going through my mind, I figured that you guys had way more experience with things like this and could come up with some really clever rules for her that I never would have thought of. I never meant for this post to get so serious and hateful, I meant it to get some new ideas from those more experienced than I.

6) Although this post didn't go where I though it would, I have learned a little bit already. I like the reply someone sent about not having daily tasks, because they get mundane. So, I am now changing my wording on that, "I would just like rules for her to follow showing that she will act out my wishes, not daily tasks."

7) Finally, yes I am a girl, haha. Sorry if that was confusing at first, you guys seemed to pick up on it pretty quick though. Good job.

8) Thank you in advance for any ideas, and sorry about the confusion in the beginning. I will try to get on here again soon to answer any other questions before the thread gets out of hand again.

Have a great day.