Rules for my girlfriend

[CutieMouse]

My apologies for not responding quickly. I have actually been really busy with school and life. So, my understanding is that this post got horribly misunderstood and blown up. So I would like to clarify where I am coming from and I hope we can kinda make a new start.

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Have a great day.

G4G, Awesome of you to have come back; thank you! (I think most of the frustrations in the thread were side-tangents, personally... we do that a lot around here... the side-tangent thing.)

This link should take you to the checklists section of the BDSM Library. Order in pizza, have a glass of wine, start comparing notes on what you each find hot (or not). If you know each other well, you might not need to bother, but IMO interesting stuff always tends to crop up and spark ideas for future activities.

Taking turns is a lovely way to sort things out; although the breakdown around here tends to be femsub/slave, then Male dominant, then female Domme, then malesub/slave, there are a few 'switches' on the forums. Personal opinion, it's more about finding your spot on the kink-spectrum [and someone who matches it] and not worrying so much about fitting the label.

As for ideas - everything and anything can be perverted... take a basic Bic pen straight from the package, have her masturbate with it until she climaxes, and that becomes her writing utensil for the remainder of the day. See? Anything.

As to "rules", you might peek at the contracts links in the Library. It's been years since I've wandered through them, but some people do make up lists of general orders (for lack of a better term). It sounds like a cop out, but how you structure that kind of depends on your relationship and what you want to accomplish. I once had a rule that I was never to be barefoot. Ever. Including while sleeping. (Annoyed the hell out of me, too.)

 

[Harmony_1985]

There's a website that has a list of 128 rules of a slave/submissive that Sir has in a folder he gave me to read through for novices. That's a good start too, its helping me learn alot.

 

[JMohegan]

4) I said in my original post "my girlfriend is mine, she will do as I say and without question". But at this point, we both kinda take turns. Like I said, we are new to this, so we don't know who likes being Dom and who likes being Sub, so for now, we are experimenting with both roles. Currently I am the acting Dom and I am enjoying it, as is she.

5) I came here for some ideas, because although I have some fun things going through my mind, I figured that you guys had way more experience with things like this and could come up with some really clever rules for her that I never would have thought of. I never meant for this post to get so serious and hateful, I meant it to get some new ideas from those more experienced than I.

6) Although this post didn't go where I though it would, I have learned a little bit already. I like the reply someone sent about not having daily tasks, because they get mundane. So, I am now changing my wording on that, "I would just like rules for her to follow showing that she will act out my wishes, not daily tasks."

If you identify the big picture goal, that should go a long way in prompting specifics. Here's what I mean.

Is the goal to make your life easier or less stressful? If so, think of possible chores or errands she could run.

Is the goal to turn you on? If so, spend time thinking about what she'd do that you, as an individual, would find arousing.

Is the goal to prove that you can get her to do stuff, just 'cause you're in charge? Personally I find this exceedingly hot, so technically it's a subset of the previous, but the focus here is on what pushes the boundaries of her comfort zone. The trick is to push, but not too far.

Is the goal to turn her on? If so, shift the focus to what gets her going.

Notice that the key to successful attainment of each of these goals is person-specific. In my opinion, creativity, self-awareness, and partner-awareness are the essential tools of the trade. Have fun!

 

[unregistered]

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

So, my understanding is that this post got horribly misunderstood and blown up. So I would like to clarify where I am coming from and I hope we can kinda make a new start.

I think the key is to very clearly state your situation, what it is that you're asking for help on and why. Even if it takes a few more paragraphs and a bit of extra time. Even if you have to type it, then step away for a few minutes, come back and have another look.

Think about it as if it were someone else's post you were reading.

The more people understand, the more they can help.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I said. Let me know when Lit experience enhances your resume, counts for college credit, or boosts your appeal with a potential mate.

The Internet, it's just not real.

Since I'm not real, would you mind signing an affidavit to that effect for the IRS? I'm quite certain that they aren't allowed to send tax bills to people who aren't real. And I could really use the break from paying taxes, at least for this year when I'm using the Internet and have, thus, become non-real.